Jon & Kate Plus Their 2 Whores
Jon & Kate's dramz is on the cover of 4 magazines this week and that's kind of a good thing. I mean, the more attention Kate's raggedy beast hair gets, the better. Maybe this can convince other women to visit their local JcPenney salon and ask for the "Gosselin." The world really needs more special needs beaver heads roaming the land. Anycunty....
It's been Gosselin fevah these past couple of weeks and it's reaching a boiling point. It's called publicity, people! You gotta pass that pussay to sell a book. The truth!
Most of the covers focus on Kate's maybe affair with her married silver fox bodyguard who looks like he grits his teeth when he cums. UsWeekly says that the two aren't doing much to hide their horniness for each other (why did I type that?). One source said, "She was gently poking him, giving him little love pats, totally unlike the slapping she does with Jon. She and Steve were joking around so much, I actually wondered if they were having an affair. There's a lot of open affection between them."
Um. That's not "love pats" she's giving Jon. That's called "ripping his nutsack off with her bare claws!"
Star says that Jon thinks Kate IS rubbing her 8-mile snatch all over her bodyguard. A source also said that Kate is okay with Jon hittin' underground pussay as long as he stays on the show. Kate has apparently put a contract together and is making Jon sign it.
Now on to People! They got an actual interview with the Cunt Queen herself! Kate says that her marriage has been at the bottom of a toilet for a while now and she's ready to flush it if that's what it comes to. She said, "I don't know that we're in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing (Ed note: Yeah, he wants a pussy that doesn't belong to you). I've been struggling with the question of 'Who is this person?' for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name. It's one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there's blaring, red flashing lights. I will never give up hope that every member of our family can be absolutely happy again."
She forgot to add, "BUY MY BOOK! WATCH MY SHOW! PET MY HAIR!"
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:41am.
Well, they eyes in the back of her head wanted bangs, and the eyes in the fron wanted long layers.. they HAD to come to a compromise!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
4D pic of my son taken 5/7/09 @ 36w3d
That stupid TLC channel needs to go down in flames for televising cunty dreck for the past decade. And Bravo. and A and E. TVLand, MTV, HGTV. Crap.
jessica pregnant..maybe? Asshole IS pregnant?
oy vey!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
4D pic of my son taken 5/7/09 @ 36w3d
i told you she had to be bumping uglies with a member of her staff..
I TOLD YOU SSSOOOO!!!!
lol
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
4D pic of my son taken 5/7/09 @ 36w3d
That hair makes it look like there is always a squirrel hiding a nut in the back of her head
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by JillyPoo on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:31am.
Um, why the hell does "Suburban Dad Brad" look like he's hoarding nuts in his cheeks on the People cover?
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Angie makes him keep hers there just to have the upper hand while his are in her pocketbook.
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100% DMBAS
I got as far as.... "Maybe this can convince other women to visit their local JcPenney salon and ask for the "Gosselin"
HAHAHAHAHA !!
Then I realized I don't give a shit about these people.
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Submitted by The Real Mimi on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:33am.
Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:31am.
exactatackly, shes neglecting her own children to do it. she would have too..cause you know if shes fuckign around those kids arent being watched by her.
That hair style was inspired by another lying whore, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi!
You know when People says it, it's the TRUTH. Must buy this issue today.
Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:31am.
How does anyone with eight kids have time to fuck around anyway?
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With the help of lotsa' paid nannies!!!
Stock Broker on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:20am.
WTF??? Skankelina is NOT on a cover??
-pssssst...bottom left corner of US, she be mad at Vadge...
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
I agree with spraineduvula. Inviting a camera crew to film your life is not healthy for anyone. They need to focus on their family and live a quiet life. How does anyone with eight kids have time to fuck around anyway?
Um, why the hell does "Suburban Dad Brad" look like he's hoarding nuts in his cheeks on the People cover?
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Yeah, I think I've heard enough about these two. I really just don't care.
Team John all the way. she is a CUNTY CUNT.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Uker....how 'ya doing? Haven't seen you around.
On Topic: who gives a flying monkey piss about these 2 anyway?
Why does she need a bodyguard? Can't her hair fend for itself?
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You say potato, I say vodka!
This may mean the TV show will go under, but unfortunately, they will remain reality TV "celebs" forever & we will never ever stop hearing about them, years from now we will still get random updates on their riculously boring lives & the lives of their 8 freakin kids...Kind of like that annoying, little Trista bitch.
At least Kate Gosselin has a face that can go on the cover of magazines without repelling readers. The few times I have seen Octomom's mug on the cover I couldn't believe her extreme ugliness. Her Looooooong face and huge forehead with painted on eyebrows and deformed lips are really awful to have to look at.
Who are these people?????????????????????
Give the kids to octomom!
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Submitted by Cindyloo on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:21am.
haha yeah right, kate would work extra hard at trying to find some other stupid network to pick up a show a bout them..theres no way she'd go back to working full time. she has it to easy and she knows it. cause god forbid she go back to being a nurse and helping other people...
Hey, I like her hair in the People cover. Some brave hair stylist combed her "Flock of Seagulls" hair in the back.
"And I ran..I ran so far away....".
Now I can't get the song out of my head.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Hmm, I would guess that both 'parents' will have to do some damage control, right? What if TLC decides to drop kick their asses? Then they would have to actually get a real job like we all have.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
WTF??? Skankelina is NOT on a cover??
*running for shelter...Armagedon is coming*
Ugh. It was bad enough when these hos were getting publicity for their retarded-ass "ZOMG WE HAF BABEEZ!!@$#!@$" show, but this tabloid attention is ridiculous. Who the fuck cares about the Gosselins THAT much?
I don't think really SHE is cheating though (he clearly is). That would imply she had a heart, feelings, soul, and blood pumping through her veins, all of which are falsities proven every time one looks at her or hears her talk. Fuck that shrew.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:16am.
no, but why was she so pissed. did rr ask her about the rumours? dont go on national talk show if you dont want to answer teh pressing questions. but just my opinion. lol
I was thinking, who in their right mind would want to be with that shrew? But yet, OJ had no problem attracting women. Money and fame.
Whatever.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:14am.
Oh FUCK ALL OF THEM!
And Miss California too!
And Arizona State University!!!!!
FUCK THE FUCK OFF!!!
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*silently nodding my head and muttering the softest "word"*
Did anyone see her on "Rachel Ray"? She looked so pissed. What is up with that hair? Honey, get yourself a new gay and stop with the streaks (start somewhere!).
HAHA buy my book, watch my show, pet my hair... hahahahahahahahahahaha im dying here!
Oh FUCK ALL OF THEM!
And Miss California too!
And Arizona State University!!!!!
FUCK THE FUCK OFF!!!
*cue Skeletina sob story next week*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Screw these two. He's a pussy, she's a bitch and neither one is the victor in this cesspool of fuckery. Either get a healthy marriage for the sake of your kids (psst, Kate- that means taking them off TV, dumbass) or shut the fuck up and keep perpetuating your own misery.
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100% DMBAS