Jon & Kate Plus Their 2 Whores
Jon & Kate's dramz is on the cover of 4 magazines this week and that's kind of a good thing. I mean, the more attention Kate's raggedy beast hair gets, the better. Maybe this can convince other women to visit their local JcPenney salon and ask for the "Gosselin." The world really needs more special needs beaver heads roaming the land. Anycunty....
It's been Gosselin fevah these past couple of weeks and it's reaching a boiling point. It's called publicity, people! You gotta pass that pussay to sell a book. The truth!
Most of the covers focus on Kate's maybe affair with her married silver fox bodyguard who looks like he grits his teeth when he cums. UsWeekly says that the two aren't doing much to hide their horniness for each other (why did I type that?). One source said, "She was gently poking him, giving him little love pats, totally unlike the slapping she does with Jon. She and Steve were joking around so much, I actually wondered if they were having an affair. There's a lot of open affection between them."
Um. That's not "love pats" she's giving Jon. That's called "ripping his nutsack off with her bare claws!"
Star says that Jon thinks Kate IS rubbing her 8-mile snatch all over her bodyguard. A source also said that Kate is okay with Jon hittin' underground pussay as long as he stays on the show. Kate has apparently put a contract together and is making Jon sign it.
Now on to People! They got an actual interview with the Cunt Queen herself! Kate says that her marriage has been at the bottom of a toilet for a while now and she's ready to flush it if that's what it comes to. She said, "I don't know that we're in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing (Ed note: Yeah, he wants a pussy that doesn't belong to you). I've been struggling with the question of 'Who is this person?' for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name. It's one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there's blaring, red flashing lights. I will never give up hope that every member of our family can be absolutely happy again."
She forgot to add, "BUY MY BOOK! WATCH MY SHOW! PET MY HAIR!"
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My belief is that if you are a media whore you deserve anything you get. Especially Queen Cunt over here. One of THE nastiest pieces of work I've seen in my life.
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Hey baby! Did heaven lose a star? 'cause you've got niiiiiiice cans...
The People Magazine cover with her "sexy eye" stare is funny. Even if this couple had only 2 kids and was not on TV, I see them cheating on each other. Never did see chemistry between them. Hope they quit the show and focus on the emotional well being of all the children. I especially like the older twins. Those two have an axe to grind.
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angel_i on Sun, 05/03/2009 - 7:27pm.
Fuck off, zomay! Did I ask you for your opinion?
Are your momjeans giving you an itchy cameltoe or what? Google me, you dumb fuck!
Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:37am.
***applause***
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
they are so over.
Yeah I'm ma gossip addict and these 2 i care nothing about.
this will be my last comment about them saying that I will not read or comment of any future info about them.
They have a shitty relationship and too many kids.
Next please.
I heart Dlisted.
~Zoe
http://www.myspace.com/misszoesimone
This is kind of how life with Angie and Brad would look if they had a reality show: fights, name-calling, disrespect, whoring, kids out of control....
Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:37am.
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Sticking with it and working on your issues is awesome if both parties are willing to do it. If one person is doing all the work or worse- neither is bothering anymore, then it's time to throw in the towel instead of trying to suffocate each other with it metaphorically in the middle of the night.
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100% DMBAS
Esactly what kander said. Team grow the fuck up and get over yourself.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
that lady's got guinea pig hair. that was all the rage with the ravers in 1994! ooonst oonst ooonst
Just break the fuck up already!
Regarding this divorce conversation:
I am on Team GROW THE FUCK UP AND MAKE IT WORK. I get that if parents hate one another, it's awful for the kids, but there is "staying together for the kids while still fighting/cheating/lying/generally being motherfuckers" and then there is "staying together/truly trying to grow up and get along/caring about the other spouse and kids enough to actually work on the marriage".
In these situations, parents should truly get over themselves and put the marriage and kids first. If both parents are being grown ups, are willing to enter counseling, and are willing to change the way they treat the other, they won't continue hate each other and make life miserable for the kids.
If parents are miserable and hating one another, its usually because their operating based purely on their own selfish needs and desires, and caring solely for their own emotional wounds and needs.
My parents went through a really bad time when I was little, which almost led to divorce, but they stuck it out, went to counseling together, and really worked hard to get past their issues. They're still married today, and have been very, very happy for about the last decade and a half. My sister and I are all grown up and moved out, and they're closer than ever. It's been wonderful to watch.
Granted, occasionally one person is a lost cause and won't stop cheating, being abusive, being absent, whatever. In that case I get that there's only so much the other spouse can take before they need to get out. But I think this "we're just not in love anymore" and "we don't want the same things anymore" or "we just argue too much" stuff is b.s.
I apologize if that offends anyone, this is just my personal take on this stuff. Not saying it is the right point of view, it's just mine...I feel strongly that marriage isn't just some romantic, la-la-land thing. It is a commitment and pledge to the other person for life. It is serious shit.
Omg, I despise the Gosselins but my hate could not possibly burn brighter for the fucking DUGGARS! I hate everything about them, for all the reasons people have brought up. I hate them so much I can't even get into it. I don't have the energy today.
yeah, my parents divorced when I was about 5 and helll yes it was traumatic, but the hell they created by being together was worse.
They are both much more at peace now and thereby both better parents.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:24am
i used to have friends in highschool (sisters) whos father always slept on teh couch..big man, like 6'3 and 260 easy. and they claimed its cause his back was so bad from an accident at work. i dont k now how a couch could be more comfortable for a man of that size. but whatevahs...i just never saw them as happy, and what not and that they probably should have gotten divorced. lord knwos the two of them have the weirdest relationships now :s
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:23am.
so bloody terrible. lord help us if one of those septuplets gets sick and jon and kate whore out the story for more monies.
Ricki: I agree. When my husband & I were having problems, I told him I'd rather have our son grow up in a happy one-parent home than an unhappy two-parent home. Luckily, we managed to work things out.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Stoney, you say that now, but you don't know what it would have been like.....ya know? The grass is always greener, I guess.
Although I agree many people give up too easily on marriage, it is healthier for the kids to grow up without all that anger around them.
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Are you ready for the thing called love
Don't come from me and you, it comes from up above
I ain't no porcupine, take off your kid gloves
Are you ready for it?
- Bonnie Raitt
As someone who grew up with 2 parents who slept in separate bedrooms and clearly didn't like each other (and they are still together), I think sometimes divorce IS the answer. Hell, I remember in 7th grade telling them to get divorced and they told me it was "more convenient" not to! I mean, I'm ok now (perhaps that's debatable, haha) but I have zilch in the way of healthy relationship models. It was always more enjoyable going on family outings with one parent because then there was no fighting. Those are the times I remember being nice. I don't know what it would've been like had they gotten divorced but I imagine it probably would've meant more happy times.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:09am.
I watched half a Duggar episode too. It was weird! It was like watching a cult from the inside.
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:18am.
OH MY GOD I KNOW!!!! It was like he was on display! They could have given him a quiet birthday party with no cameras, but everything is about whoring people out for the show. He was about to collapse in his goddamn cake and they had all the little duggar fuckers arranged like they were on bleachers watching him on a freak show. God, take that poor old man now!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:15am.
As a child of divorce, I'd have to say I wish my parents had stayed together and worked their fucking shit out!
Exactly. Sometimes couples give up way too early. To me, it doesn't make sense to be so in love and marry someone one day and then hate them so intensely you file for divorce after a couple years and a couple kids. But I guess that's what happens when you skip the steps: courtship, engagement, cohabitation, marriage, children. That formula doesn't work in ALL cases but it does give a person time to learn about their partner and make an informed commitment.
Please tell me why we are supposed to care about these two losers and their mutant multiple offspring? Why are they on the cover of magazines? Is all you need to be famous these days the ability to screw and/or get inseminated and give birth to a litter of children? If that is the case, my dog should be famous too.
Who are these 2 fuglies and why is everybody talking about them? I will google them... well, maybe not.
I could have lived with the fucking tension. It was my parents splitting up and my father moving out that truly traumatized me.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
What a fucking tacky ass family.
Poor kids. He looks like he has a
tad bit of Downs and she has the worst
hair. Seriosly dear did you get the back
of your head stuck in fan? You and your
husband look and sound like the biggest
idiots!! I'm so glad I don't have cable TV.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:09am.
stoney, i was more disturbed by the fact that they had his dying father on the show. poor man is dying of cancer and has a huge and i mean huge lump on his head which i can only assume is a tumor, cant walk, cant talk, cant feed himself and they whore him out like its nothing and show his "birthday party" on the show. give the man some peace and dignity in his final days.
for holier than thou christians, they sure are media savvy and manipulative...disgusting in my books
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:15am
and as a child of Parents who stayed together for the sake of the kids I wish they had split.
Is a fine line.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
of course kids pick up on the tension when their parents hate each other. People do not give kids enough credit- they are very perceptive, even at a young age.
Break up, and give the kids some peace!
*********************************************
Are you ready for the thing called love
Don't come from me and you, it comes from up above
I ain't no porcupine, take off your kid gloves
Are you ready for it?
- Bonnie Raitt
@missy:
“For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life.”
Dr. Joyce Brothers
@ISMU: same goes for those who decide to have a child to try and save the marriage.
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"I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it."
As a child of divorce, I'd have to say I wish my parents had stayed together and worked their fucking shit out!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I wholeheartedly agree with PussyCow and Missy. People nowadays are too immature and narcissistic to properly raise their crotch fruit. Everyone wants a baybay, but no one wants to put the effort in to make sure their babies grow into healthy, self-actualized adults. But this is just a symptom of a problem that has been brewing in this country since the 80s. People only care about themselves and what they want, not the needs of society as a whole.
I think Kate and Jon should have ended their show and immediately enrolled in counseling once the cracks in the marriage surfaced, if not for their own sakes but for their kiddies.
Submitted by PussyCow on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:47am.
I totally agree with this.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
yeah, Stoney that Duggar show scares the shit out of me too. I couldnt watch for more than a few minutes.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ricki- I'm with you 100%. Staying together for the kids is one of the most useless, misguided things people in an unhappy marriage can do. I would rather my children see their dad and me apart but happy than together and miserable. What kind of example does that set, especially if the home is filled with manipulation and arguments and tension. My parents HATED each other when I was growing up and it was not lost on me or my sister.
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100% DMBAS
Normally I would say Team Jon, but in this instance I say Team Kids. Somebody with some common sense come in and care for those kids. They are the ONLY ones who didn't ask to be put in the situation they're in. As a child I had to deal with my parents shitty divorce (which I'm still dealing with almost 20 years later), and had it not been for my grandparents (on my mom's side) I don't know what my siblings and I would have done.
And of course this is the perfect time for Kate to paint herself as the helpless victim. "I don't know who he is...I'll do this on my own..." Shut the fuck up. If you're about to divorce then start taking care of those kids emotionally. Think with your head, not your bank account.
Where's Aunt Jody? Somebody get Aunt Jody on the phone! She's good mother.
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"Ick. Nast."
ricki, oh absolutely. If the marriage isnt working, DIVORCE! Set a fucking example! Effect change in your life when needed and maybe the kiddies will learn to be effective when they grow up!
Divorce isnt bad. Making mistakes as a parent isnt bad. All this media whoring in this Gosslefuck family is just making it seem like the welfare of the kids and family is NOT the main priority.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Something tells me Kate won't be able to put up with Jon's fuckery much longer. He's so detached and uninterested it's breath-taking. He totally brought all this on himself, of course, so I don't feel sorry for him in the least. Kinda on topic, I actually subjected myself to a partial episode of the Duggars last night. Goddamn that shit is scary! The Duggars made Josh's wife announce on national television that she's pregnant the day after she had a positive pregnancy test! Jesus Christ! What if the girl has a fucking miscarriage? You would think with all the baby shitting they do they would understand the risk of announcing that early. Goddamn blows my mind! And I LOVED how they had another 20-plus member family in town to help them cut down trees and the mother of that family was all "Michelle just takes it easy. When she needs to do something, she'll excuse herself. She's really laid back." Um, NO SHIT! Her child army does all the housework and kid raising!
Jim Bob: "Joy Anna, repeat after me the mantra: Maid and wife is my goal in life! Maid and wife is my goal in life! Now your turn Jedediah: I am a sperm wrangler for Jesus! I am a sperm wrangler for Jesus!"
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by elmo533 on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 10:07am.
haha aunt jody got banaished cause tlc wanted to pay her and kate said over my dead body basically.
such a lovely lady she is:)
I have no fucking clue who these two are, but I love the Animal Stories tag!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:27am.
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hey I'm ok, just been busy with work and uni stuff, how are you?
I agree with you Missy, but this statement from PussyCow was strange: "Fuck the kids - if I'm bored and going through some sort of mid-life crisis my pretend happiness is more important than raising children in a loving, two-parent family because I am a self-centered, miserable excuse for a parent just like anyone else with kids who breaks up a family over anything less than than abuse."
Let's face it, the Gosselin's marriage is clearly not happy, regardless of however much Kate tried to pretend for appearances. Is her constant sniping at Jon not a form of emotional and mental abuse? You think kids don't notice things like that? I don't think it takes a Chris Brown-style beatdown to quantify abuse or legitimize ending a marriage. The kids would probably be better off in the long-run with one parent who is "pretend happy" (whatever that means) than 2 parents who clearly can't stand each other but stayed together "for the kid." I'm not saying I know anything about these 2 personally, but not all unhappy marriages can be fixed through counseling and effort, and the absence of physical abuse doesn't mean it is a bad idea to separate because of it.
These people are fuckin trash. Plain and simple. With or without 8 kids they are trash, you can't hide that for very long. There has to be issues with anyone who would choose to exploit their children so they don't have to work. People like this make me sick, I am so tired of this country making the most repulsive people millionaires. W.T.F.
See, I agree with Pussy Cow.
I think its become so common for parents to be negligent and abusive that so many adult children are forced to accept that "every parent simply does the best they can and thats all". WHICH IS GOOD if you are the adult child of abuse.
BUT I think its absolutely WRONG and JUSTLY JUDGED that parents pop out kids and then refuse to take responsibility for how their decisions affec the kid. In todays day and age, psychological intelligence is mainstream. This sint the 50s. We know what happens to children of abusive homes. THERE IS NO GOOD EXCUSE for being a bad parent today. If youre not up for the task, DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING BABY. Our society is fucking CRIPPLED beacuse people have completely ABANDONED all sense of morality.
FUCK THAT.
*steps down*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Bjork You
Did anyone see her on "Rachel Ray"? She looked so pissed.
If I had to go to Rachel Ray show I ll be pissed too, that food must smell like s#$% and that voice EVOO
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
It is amazing how seriously these two twats take themselves given that they are only famous for being overly fertile and making a living off of it. Yeah right, Kate needs a bodyguard, more like she hired the sideline piece to front as a bodyguard so she could have him around all day while Jon was off banging teacher without raising any questions.
PussyCow (love that disgusting name btw, LOL), I would venture to say that probably not many marriages could withstand the strain of having 8 kids in 3 years, no matter how well you pick your partner...unless, of course, your fidelity is fueled by some hyper-religioius beliefs and you'll just suffer through anything because of it. They got married young and were stupid enough to have a huge litter of children before things went downhill. It happens. I don't think they're really to blame for that. They ARE to blame for going on national TV and subjecting their family to all this shit which was clearly just gonna strain things further. And yeah, if they're both gonna fuck other people and they have an army of nannies anywya, might as well get divorced. Oops, wait - then there's no TV show! I guess they are selfish lol.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 9:41am.
I'll buy that theory!
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
All four covers, really? Britney must pissed thinking "That used to be me...fucking fucks"
Anyways, this lady has the bitter and the anger coming out the face (I still say she will come out as a lezz). The looks like he doesnt even remember what having balls is like and the kids will grow up to be all sorts of fucked up.
Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em all
What selfish pieces of shit. But, I suppose compared to a huge number of parents they're pretty typical: "Fuck the kids - if I'm bored and going through some sort of mid-life crisis my pretend happiness is more important than raising children in a loving, two-parent family because I am a self-centered, miserable excuse for a parent just like anyone else with kids who breaks up a family over anything less than than abuse." I fucking hate selfish people. It's called counseling and choosing your partner wisely - look into it!