HA! Of The Day
Drunk dialing: every bitch does it! We've all had too much of the sweet stuff which causes us to pick up the phone and moan to an ex about how they killed our dreams and stomped on our hearts. After they hang up on us, we call them back and beg for their forgiveness and cry about how we didn't mean all that. When they hang up on us a second time, we call again and tell them we hope their penis gets caught in the conveyor belt at the airport baggage claim. True story, I've used that line before during a drunk dialing session. Blame Jack Daniels. My point is, that we've all done that shit! Even Brad Pitt! Now Magazine (via Showbiz Spy) claims Brad has been booze calling Jennifer Aniston. Yes, go ahead and stick a label marked "LAUGHS" on this shit.
One source (point your finger at Norman) barked, “She was initially taken aback — especially as he sounded drunk and sorry for himself. He told her he misses her and that he’s sorry for any hurt caused. Jen being Jen immediately told him she’d never held a grudge against him and would welcome them being friends again, so long as she doesn’t have to be friends with Angelina. He agreed. Before the call, Brad hardly ever spoke to Jen and the relationship was strained. But this phone conversation broke the ice and opened the lines of communication once more.”
There's only one way to check if this is true. Call Jennifer Aniston. If a slurry-voiced Brad Pitt is her voicemail message, hold song and ringtone, then you know this shit is fact. Because Jenny would never keep it to herself. And you know she calls herself, sticks her phone on her crotch area and lets Brad's drunk warble rock her world.
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I think it is true. Brad has been photographed with booze in his pocket. The strain of raising 6 kids and a vampire has gotten to him.
Yeah no, Brad wouldn't get back together with Jennifer. He's too politically active and Jen comes off as desperate and a little self absorbed.
TeriAnn
SHouldnt you be hanging out at JJ, making Brangie youtubes or kneeling before your Brad and Angie shrine?
Good Brad. I prefer you drunk calling Aniston than Paltrow. I believe so does Angelina.
Am I lost? or is this today's open post? ha, I love it it when a topic is ignored 'cause no one cares and it turns into an open post.
Jagermeister drink n dials are the only way to go.
So did Skeletina hit REDIAL?
Is Maddox planting phone bugs in all the phones now?
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
You drinkin amateurs!
I went to the biggest drinking school in the Universe and I guarantee you all that I will need a new liver by 35!
We had liquor for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the sensible dinner WAS Boone's!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by kdracofan on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:39pm.
Sugaroo on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:42pm.
@ kdracofan
Nope - JJ has nothing on this story but he does have some of the UGLIEST pics of LongWHORIA I've ever seen. Man, that bitch is FUGLY!
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She is fugly. I've never thought she is pretty
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She's pretty with makeup but the fact that she's a Grade A c*nt kind of takes away from it.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:17pm.
Duck fart, schmuck fart.
In college, I won a $50 bet that I would not be able to down a nice little mixture called a "yeast infection". It is beer and Bailey's mixed togther in a highball. Let it sit for 5 minutes and it becomes this thick, clotted, spongy mess that pulls away from the sides of the glass. It's really chunky going down, but I won myself $50.
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Laughed then gagged.
xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
Sugaroo on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:42pm.
@ kdracofan
Nope - JJ has nothing on this story but he does have some of the UGLIEST pics of LongWHORIA I've ever seen. Man, that bitch is FUGLY!
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She is fugly. I've never thought she is pretty
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:30pm.
kd and sugaroo
Let's settle this like REAL women. First one to down a "yeast infection" without gagging wins!
*pouring two highballs with Miller High Life and Bailey's *
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I can honestly say that never have I been more grateful to the fact that I quit drinking than I am right now.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Migraine Sally!
Hell, I used to sell my plasma in college too. And we'd use the money to get drunk later that night.
It was either that or baby batter!
Don't judge me!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
kd and sugaroo
Let's settle this like REAL women. First one to down a "yeast infection" without gagging wins!
*pouring two highballs with Miller High Life and Bailey's *
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:21pm.
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Then my work is done here :)
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I really hate yew. I were looking forward to the cottage cheese in the fridge. Now I just want to hurl it at the window and see if it sticks.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 -
sorry about the gross out, but it's a true story! $50 when you are in college is big time money! It was better than selling my plasma
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You should've done both then you would've gotten drunk waaay faster.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:28pm.
Bring it, baby!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Migraine, Id do it for $50 now!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:25pm.
i thought i was going to make big $ selling my plasma once a week or somethin'. Never did i imagine that they wouldn't want some one with marijuana and uh, lots of other worse stuff in their blood. figures.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:27pm.
Thanks, Migraine. Someone who shall remain nameless *coughsugaroocough* insulted his machismo, so he's ready to rumble. She's avoiding me now though. ;-P
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Thass right, yo! My avvie is a bad muthafucka and will eat yo ass up!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Thanks, Migraine. Someone who shall remain nameless *coughsugaroocough* insulted his machismo, so he's ready to rumble. She's avoiding me now though. ;-P
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:18pm.
so many drunks up in here. the AA meeting is to your left.
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You say that like it's a bad thing.
Migraine: Vomit in my mouth = all your fault
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You say potato, I say vodka!
dramaqueen!
I am LOVING the new Johnny avie!
sorry about the gross out, but it's a true story! $50 when you are in college is big time money! It was better than selling my plasma
I'm constantly amazed Jolie's obsessed fans have never raked Laura Dern over the coals the way they have Jennifer Aniston.
I've been mistaken for a responsible adult
Man, i cant really get into the white dudes peen convo.
Drinky times?
"Hi, my name's Missy and I'ma dlistedrunkaholic"
"HI MISSAY!!"
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ME: What about something really light, like chicken broth? Jello? Clear liquids?
Migraine: I literally gagged reading about the yeast infection.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Mr. Jack Daniels did me WAY wrong back in my early 20's. I kicked that bastard to the curb.
Same with Jose Cuervo and his relatives, they seem to make me violent.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:17pm.
You have succeeded in really just grossing me out to the point I want to slap the dog.
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Then my work is done here :)
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:17pm.
YEAST INFECTION?! WTF is up with these horrid drink names?!?!?!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:17pm.
You have succeeded in really just grossing me out to the point I want to slap the dog.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
so many drunks up in here. the AA meeting is to your left.
Submitted by Easy Rider on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:11pm.
sorry, i dont like your idea.... even my 75 years old grandma would not take braddy. that man is ugly....
Duck fart, schmuck fart.
In college, I won a $50 bet that I would not be able to down a nice little mixture called a "yeast infection". It is beer and Bailey's mixed togther in a highball. Let it sit for 5 minutes and it becomes this thick, clotted, spongy mess that pulls away from the sides of the glass. It's really chunky going down, but I won myself $50.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:10pm.
Interesting.. to bad Crown hates me. I must've done something to its' family in a past life because it tries to kill me every time I drink it.
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Really? Jose Cuervo hates me back in the day. He tried to kill me more than once. Come to think of it so did some dude names Jack Daniels. Go figure.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
When Jennifer & Brad are reunited, she can help Brad raise his children. She will get to keep her figure and tight poon.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:04pm.
smoothies? maybe your stomach got upset at the Master Cleanse and is just taking a break. if your appetite doesn't come back in a couple more days i would be worried.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:06pm.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:05pm.
What is this duck fart business
? Please describe it in detail. I like scratch n sniff if you have em.
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It's a shot. Crown Royal with Bailey's floating on the top.
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Interesting.. to bad Crown hates me. I must've done something to its' family in a past life because it tries to kill me every time I drink it.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Submitted by Norwaygirl on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:58pm.
I like Brad Pitt, though. He sucks as an actor (watch the last scenes in Se7en, god he is awful!), but I think he is a nice human being. Who made a horrible mistake and regrets it every day.
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The last scene in Se7en was the best piece of acting in his repetriore. So over the top, it worked!
I think Brad is a regular mid-American guy who had great looks and came to Hollywood at the right time.
Aniston needs to leave this alone. Or she will never be free of it.
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:05pm.
What is this duck fart business
? Please describe it in detail. I like scratch n sniff if you have em.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It's a shot. Crown Royal with Bailey's floating on the top.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
And you know she calls herself, sticks her phone on her crotch area and lets Brad's drunk warble rock her world.
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I don't believe it for a minute, but that shit above is funny!
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:52pm.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:47pm.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:46pm.
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:30pm.
Amended list of Dlisted faves:
1. MK
2. Harvey
3. STAINS
4. Anderson Cooper
5. Hot Gingers! (Rojo, Phoebe, Prince HG)
6. Alcohol
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I add Animal-Style Fries At In-N-Out to the list!
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and Mom Jeans
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HELLO!!!! Do I need to say it again?
SEX!!!!
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(this is getting lengthy)
Ha ha ha! Hmmm, my deductive skills have gleaned out you want SEX added to the list!
Sugaroo wants SEX added to yonder list. Alrighty then. But I want to add James Haven and Team Valtrex.
*Said in a Jessica Rabbit voice*: They make me laugh.*
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:50pm.
ME, I honestly feel that way about food all the time. In my case, i think it's stress and lack of excercise, and smoking cigs. But from what I know of you, you dont smoke and work out regularly.
Maybe its stress?
I do empathize. Food is a tough one for me. Good luck.
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 1:01pm.
Migraine, I lasted one day on the Master Cleanse. It was DISGUSTING! I couldn't down another drop. LOL. But I haven't eaten since I stopped. No appetite.
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All kidding aside, that doesn't sound good. If you have to force yourself to eat and it makes you feel sick, M.E., you need to call your doc. You could have a serious G.I. problem.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
What is this duck fart business? Please describe it in detail. I like scratch n sniff if you have em.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
God I love her hair!
Submitted by Norwaygirl on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:58pm.
I like Brad Pitt, though. He sucks as an actor (watch the last scenes in Se7en, god he is awful!), but I think he is a nice human being. Who made a horrible mistake and regrets it every day.
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What's in the box?!!!!!?!?!?
Hahaha love that line, and I enojoy Se7en, but yeah, not a good actor, he always makes the same cray baby face when attempting to cry.
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Bitchette, I don't smoke.
Nothing is appealing to me. And when I attempt to eat, I gag.
I pray this is true. I don't pray, but I will just for this.
Also, this is a rehased story.
Every year, the tabs put out a story about Brad begging for Jennifer's forgiveness.
Get over it, Aniston!!! Your man fucked around on you, take a number!!! ~grrr~
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
TeriAnn please stop trolling & go back to Just Jared.
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
Migraine, I lasted one day on the Master Cleanse. It was DISGUSTING! I couldn't down another drop. LOL. But I haven't eaten since I stopped. No appetite.