Bat Out Of Hell!
Kelly Clarkson performed at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango in Los Angeles this weekend looking like crusty Meat Loaf with extra bread crumbs. She's even got a pinch of Cojo in the face. Maybe right before her performance she walked in on Gaycrest waxing his glitter hole and she never fully recovered from that sight. I don't know. But I do know that Kelly needs to pour Adderall dust over those jeans and feed them to Paula Abdul STAT. Those jeans shouldn't have made it out of 1997 alive.
And I'm mad at Kelly right now because that "My Life Would Suck Without Fooood" song has become a regular part of my nightly dreams. That's not the first thing I want to be humming when I wake up in the morning. The first thing I want to be humming on is a.... Okay, I'll stop.
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Janis Joplin lives! Why can't Clive Davis get her a stylist with a producer? Doesn't he know music has gone visual? Back in the day, you could be a monster looking wreck on the radio as long as you had the pipes, but no more and someone should tell Kelly that.
ok, she's got the Rachel Ray no neck syndrome, her pants are AWFUL for her full thighs, pear shape... her hair was being blown by the wind machine and her makeup wasnt dark enough to balance the lighting- washing her face out. Not making excuses, she coul get on a treadmill and maybe incorporate some veggies, no doubt.
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If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
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Submitted by vanyvrgs on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 6:28pm.
I have gained some poundage so I won't get into the fact that she has gained some weight, my concern is that she looks unkept,
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Same as SNL - that's what really bothered me. I felt like: Hey, if you're gonna be on TV, wash your damn hair!
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Boy. Someone forgot to swear her Spanx. WTF happened? She looks like she's retaining the Atlantic Ocean, and she looked great on the cover of a recent magazine, that even she admitted had been photoshopped, but come on, this is a heck of a weight gain.
And I'm mad at Kelly right now because that "My Life Would Suck Without Fooood" song has become a regular part of my nightly dreams. That's not the first thing I want to be humming when I wake up in the morning.
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Yeah, me too! I'm mad at her! I think it's cuz she screams and screams and then I just can't get it out of my head! Really mad.
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I have gained some poundage so I won't get into the fact that she has gained some weight, my concern is that she looks unkept, like she does not give a fuck. No makeup, no style... did she fire her people? EECH! ____________________________________________
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Submitted by rk-d on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 6:25pm.
Goddamn....What the FUCK??
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Hey, that's what I said! She looks less wack than she did on SNL recently (I THINK she was wearing American Apparel, UGH!) but you know, she sang and I was, like, well - she sings! That's more than I can say for most singers these days. I dunno - let her be heavy, it's good for all of us to stop being so thin obsessed.
There is no really big advantage to being thin, anyway...except maybe if you wanna be a slut or a ho...In the end, it just makes you weak and distracted by hunger.
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All the girl needs is a new wardrobe and to burn that picture cause her face looks like Ozzy's ass.
WOW! I've been in desperate need of "motivation" to get back on the fitness and eating healthy wagon and by golly......here it is! You can't say that Kelly doesn't KEEP IT REAL! I honestly don't really care how much she weighs if she'd just fix her hair, make-up and wear some clothes that would flatter her body at this point. I think Kelly has an amazing voice and I've been digging her latest album. As long as she's happy, who are we to judge? Oh yeah....we be a group of judgeMENTAL D-Listed bitches up in this mofo! Carry on!
Goddamn....What the FUCK??
joe, nevermind... I'll Google that shit. :) And are you sure you didn't mean "udder" sexiness? If you DID dream it, you need to stop eating cheese before you go to bed, young lady! Or so my mother always said.
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In Mesquite, Texas, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
Wow! What happened to her?! I was just thinking not too long ago that she wasn't bad looking and that I'd go gay for her. But geez, after seeing these pics I totally retract that statement. I can appreciate a chick with some weight on her, but the fact that she turned into a butterface on top of that is too much to handle.
I wonder what caused all that weight gain (besides the eating. Emotional roller coaster maybe?)
"Smoking weed, smoking wizz, doing coke, drinking beers. Drinking beers, beers, beers."
I showed a few pictures to my husband (didn't let him know it was Kelly Clarkson), he thought it was an average sized, but middle aged woman singing karyoke.
I'll always love Kelly though, at least she can sing.
Whoa! EvilShoe, you're right. The person who worked on the photoshopping of those photos was a genius. Shocking!
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
I know fat/thick chicks that looks smokin'.
But unfortunately...
Kelly ain't one of those.
She has never had any sense of style. If she had any, she could get away with being bigger. But since she obviously....SO obviously does not, she needs to keep herself as slim as possible so she can wear her usual sartorial fuckery and no one will complain...
as much!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
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Honestly, I'm not one to talk about weight. I'm not skinny myself. It is one thing to be chunky, fat, chubby or whatever, but she is downright homeless looking. She looks like she couldn't give a shit about anything. It really has nothing to do with her weight. Everything is wrong with how she looks.
She looks like someone in the middle of a serious bout of depression.
oh the other EXCUSE: UNFLATTERING outfit..LMAO. What do clothes have to do with the fact that she is FAT? you can dress her in the most amazing Versace outfit, she is still fat. the fact that a better outfit would cover her up more(a tent) doesn't mean she is not fat.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 6:09pm
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IG I can't find it! I scanned the Mail but it's gone. No doubt its utter sexiness was just too explosive for the Mail. sawwwwwy *muttering to self: Did I dream it?*
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
That isn't curvy, its downright unhealthy. She is going to eat her way to diabetes.
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Dick happens! - MK
Photoshop awards for her albums:
http://www.dlisted.com/node/31341
http://www.dlisted.com/node/29996
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Dick happens! - MK
Okay, she's a curvy chick. I've seen utterly GORGEOUS curvy ladies. Thing is, they know how to dress themselves in flattering ways. This outfit is bad news all over.
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 6:13pm.
Eh, her appearance wouldn't have been such a big deal in the 60s or 70s. Nowadays everyone has to be yoga-toned, tanned and veneered.
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aretha
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I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
That outfit does NOTHING good for young Kelly.
Chastity Bono is that you?
Submitted by dannysgrl on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 5:49pm.
Yes idiots...let's all boo her into a starved-induced coma and properly make more fun of her bones and send her to rehab for being a junky to get rid of the pain of our taunts.
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eating less and exercising more isn't a option anymore?
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I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
Well I like that she got a little thickness to her now, but that outfit is UNFLATTERING. She needs a new stylist!
Ain't nothin' wrong with her size AT ALL. But girl needs a hand with how to manage her glitter.
Eh, her appearance wouldn't have been such a big deal in the 60s or 70s. Nowadays everyone has to be yoga-toned, tanned and veneered. That's why pop singers are so boring and homogenous. You think Carole King or Roberta Flack would be stars now?
That being said, I think she just came out of the closet in the first pic. I don't really like her music but I like her voice and whatever attitude.
Sweet Jesus. Hasn't someone told her that big girls look good,too, when they wear clothes that actually fit? She wears the most unflattering clothes for her body. Gawd.
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 6:09pm.
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OK, I'm going to be sorry I asked, but link please?
xox
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In Mesquite, Texas, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
GOD DAMN..
Submitted by ricki lake on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 5:49pm
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Talking of "lesbian bed death" did anyone catch Beth Ditto in the Daily Mail, stripping down to her spanx on stage. Jesus. Why, Beth, why???
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Kelly has never been "thin" she's always been a bit on the heavy side. But damn. She is really packing on the pounds now.
i am very surprised there's not one single poster who said she is not FAT, just CURVY....LMAO ...oh how i love that excuse....
Kelly seems nice, maybe she has some health problems?
my first thought was,... oh, its janis joplin. kelly does have a good voice but has a tendency to gain it. and yes, xanax bloat. i love it, but it is so true. it can bloat you up!
maybe that's her natural weight... i don't mind the weight, but the outfit's got to go... and the hair... kelly, we love you, but c'mon... have some decency.
Damn she be PHAT!!!
Submitted by mutlee on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 6:01pm.
inthe south they refer to it as CBS...
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Call Bovine Services? :)
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In Mesquite, Texas, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
inthe south they refer to it as CBS...
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"You're here_ and I'm here -"
Submitted by dannysgrl on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 5:49pm.
While I agree with you to an extent...that is not a natural size for her. There are many of us who would love the luxury of making millions, not working in a cube chained to a computer for 10 hours each day (like me) and being able to afford a personal trainer. I would love to have all of that so I can lose these extra 10lbs I am carrying. It's kind hard to feel sorry for celebs when they have these luxuries. No one here is saying she should look like Lindsay Lohan, her natural probably size 6/8 self is pretty on her.
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And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
It's time her people deleted the KFC Variety Big Box Meal from her back-stage rider.
Thats a huge bitch!! Looks more like her mother every day. I wouldn't fuck her but if she wants to pack on some poundage thats cool with me but I think she should dress a little better to hide the poundage. I mean really she could have the voice of an angel but I can't take my eyes off the size of that ass!
i don't even know what songs she is famous for, but have heard she is a littlun' in person...short small etc..no forgiving anybody for wackarse styling but maybe the camera does put on the the kilos things are true.
i dunno if i had nearly as much money as she probably has i'd get in shape and/or hire somebody to hide those wings
fuck it must suck to be on the other side of the fence
Wow! Why did that fat man eat Kelly Clarkson?! Stop the insanity!
Seriously though. She looks dirty and unkempt. What's going on with her?
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 5:51pm.
I mean she looks a David Hasselhoff eatin' a chee'burger on da flo/Courtney Love bloggin'/Dano Plato kind of mess...bloated, dirty, old in da face...Sumpin' wrong wif dat chile...and it ain't just too many Snickers neither. A big girl can still do her hair.
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ITA.
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My boss at work is Captain Cupcake because he's a fat bastard with ill fitting pants. by ISMU
I actually feel sorry for her, women (most) have issues with their weight, sometimes you can get very heavy from depression, taking certain medications, etc..., we really dont know what's going on with her. She was always a nice weight, I really liked her body before. But something is obviously going on with this girl.
Lol. If Kelly Clarkson were to go off the deep end because of comments about her weight, it would've happened about...oh, seven years ago, when she first won American Idol.
You fucking idiot.
Why did she allow herself to get so large? Not everybody is meant to be a size 4, 6 or 8 but FUCK!!! Show me a woman who is a size 16 or larger claims they're just "big boned" and I'll show you a woman in denial.
Face it: no female athelete is bigger than size 14 for a reason. It's just not healthy.
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This is sad. she looks like the Pre-slimfast Valerie Bertinelli. Almost exactly like Val.
Girl, don't you know to wear sleeves when you got wings?? oldest trick in the book.
Oh wow. What is wrong with her face? There is something going on there and it isn't Oprah's KFC fuckery.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Submitted by dannysgrl on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 5:49pm.
Yes idiots...let's all boo her into a starved-induced coma and properly make more fun of her bones and send her to rehab for being a junky to get rid of the pain of our taunts.
Fucking idiots.
true.....
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"You're here_ and I'm here -"