Bat Out Of Hell!
Kelly Clarkson performed at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango in Los Angeles this weekend looking like crusty Meat Loaf with extra bread crumbs. She's even got a pinch of Cojo in the face. Maybe right before her performance she walked in on Gaycrest waxing his glitter hole and she never fully recovered from that sight. I don't know. But I do know that Kelly needs to pour Adderall dust over those jeans and feed them to Paula Abdul STAT. Those jeans shouldn't have made it out of 1997 alive.
And I'm mad at Kelly right now because that "My Life Would Suck Without Fooood" song has become a regular part of my nightly dreams. That's not the first thing I want to be humming when I wake up in the morning. The first thing I want to be humming on is a.... Okay, I'll stop.
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Hahaha, Tigerlily--- joe is a girl. And as for Sheeps, well he's Lebanese.
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In Mesquite, Texas, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 8:06pm.
You know she was a chubby girl to begin with ..and she's been fighting it for fame. Her last album failed cuz she, stubbornly, wanted to do it her own way.
To me, the affront is the contrast between the wildly Photoshopped CD art (your sometime avie) and reality. You don't have to be hot or slim to sing, but, to sell pop records, it sure helps.
Submitted by ricki lake on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 8:07pm.
Oh God. All the fat people here shrieking "SHE IS NORMAL!"
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You know what? She's average. I don't know where you live but all the places I've been - that's pretty average. On the other hand - I would agree that she doesn't look fit, either - and for a performer - I mean, Dolly got pretty good and it was never really that unattractive....
PS - not fat, but thanks for jumping to conclusions.
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If she had looked just like that during her American Idol audition, Superficial Simon would have said "Paahsss".
Randy would have said "Sorry dog, it's just not work this time".
And Paula? Who the fuck cares???~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
= ^ . ^ =
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 8:01pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:49pm.
If Kelly wrapped those thunder thighs around your head, you'd be a goner.
oh my, that's *quite* a powerful visual
Not the adjective I was reaching for.
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You know you two man sluts want some big girl lovin'...You know you do, else you wouldn't a mentioned it...You got woodies thinkin' 'bout them meaty assed thighs 'round yo' head...DON'T FRONT!
JOE SHMOE AND SHEEPS BE CHUBBY CHASERS!
You know you is, 'fess up, 'fess up....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
there's a little ozzy osbourne & the entire family in there as well.
Oh God. All the fat people here shrieking "SHE IS NORMAL!" and pretending that anybody who finds non-obese women attractive is into "little boy bodies" need to go eat 7 servings of spaghetti for dinner like usual and shut the fuck up. You can be fit and attractive and a size 10, but unfortunately Kelly is not. You can also be a healthy size 2. Just 'cause you're not doesn't mean everybody has to pretend that you need to be a size 22 to be "normal." Get off your fat fucking ass once in awhile and you might be surprised that you're not supposed to be 800 pounds overweight, either. Dumbasses.
You know she was a chubby girl to begin with ..and she's been fighting it for fame. Her last album failed cuz she, stubbornly, wanted to do it her own way. The way she's dressed, I have half a mind to believe that she's saying FUCK YOU to anyone who can't get with the program. You know - Chestica with all her complicated outfits - Tyra too, most days...they're not comfortable. Kelly, however, is saying - yeah, I'm big and I'm powerful and I move - watch me go. You see? Bigger people can do whatever thinner people do. Honestly, I think she's tryna teach us a lesson - and MOSTLY cuz I think she's that kinda girl.
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yes I meant to put "slim chick" in quotes to empasize it was Martha's voice but they fronted like it was the slim girl singing....
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Jean-Paul Sartre "So that is what hell is. I would never have believed it. You remember: the fire and brimstone, the torture. Ah! the farce. There is no need for torture: hell is other people."
Submitted by lily1313 on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:56pm.
Chunky? No, Skippy peanut butter is chunky. Kelly is fat.
Ha, Joe. The cockroaches have been avoiding me lately, but they seem to be coming around today.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I am a SEXY and HOT girl from New York,
someday I found a HOT place for u guys, :-----SugarMommaCupid C O M ----, if you want- know more big fri-ends,even l-over, please have a try .
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:49pm.
If Kelly wrapped those thunder thighs around your head, you'd be a goner.
oh my, that's *quite* a powerful visual
Not the adjective I was reaching for.
Elijah Blue??? :)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elijah_Blue_Allman
http://famous-relationships.topsynergy.com/!photos/Elijah_Blue_Allman.jpg
***^o^*~v~*****
"Happy Wife,Happy Life"- RHoNJ
Submitted by lily1313 on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:56pm.
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Yeah I kinda get what you're saying but nobody is saying she has to be a size 2, just not look like she should be jumping through hoops at Seaworld. I wonder how the word *chunky* came to mean fat? If I was fat and someone called me *chunky* I'd punch 'em.
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Holy shit she blew up. I remember when she first came out bitch was fit. She must have been fighting the fat.
leave being skinny to Xtina, chubby to brit, and just be the average girl with a kickbutt voice. let the whale out of your pants.
jussayin, I could be wrong, but I think that was Zelma Davis in the C and C Music Factory vid--- I remember there being a fuss about it because it was Martha Wash's voice, but not her bod.
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In Mesquite, Texas, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
wow, a women who is chunky yet talented, jeez people...lets love it!..Enough with the super tiny lil' boy look.! Meat on the bones,, thats what I'm talkin' about!..The super pervert little boy loving powers have gotten to you! www.mermaidsmilk.com
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:29pm.
They're hanging alright :(
Life is good- Just waiting for Western PA to realize it's Spring. Life good for you too?
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Better all the time - I really couldn't ask for more? Well, I could - but I'm not greedy:) The winter here was more like spring than spring is but whatever - I'm sure it'll sort itself out!
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Fat out of Hell, eh?
(typo, and it stays)
Submitted by soul on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:54pm.
she's doing her Gregg Allman
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freaky you should mention him. so far today we've had a cher post and someone else mentioned chastity in another. what ever happened to the son with the stupid name?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:39pm.
All that weight and STILL flat chested; by golly, that would make me cry...
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SO true...at least when I had my putting on weight time I got nice boobies out of it:)
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Submitted by Gonnaburn... on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:29pm.
They're hanging alright :(
Life is good- Just waiting for Western PA to realize it's Spring. Life good for you too?
Always nice to stop in and say hey to the Dlisted horz. You think these pics have been shopped? Parts look so out of focus in comaprison to the rest of the pic.
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the blurry bits is the fat that kept moving after she stopped.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
she's doing her Gregg Allman
http://supergroup.netfirms.com/gregg_allman.jpg
***^o^*~v~*****
"Happy Wife,Happy Life"- RHoNJ
wow
she got fat fast.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by Mr. President on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:48pm.
She's singing her latest song, "A Marshmallow Like This".
Hi Joe. Feeling much better, thanks. Spent most of the weekend on my back. Kind of like a Hollywood starlet, but with nobody on top of me. I should be okay to go to work by Wednesday.
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Glad you're feeling better. Sorry you had to be a solo bottom, though :( What about the cockies that live in your apartment - they ignored you too?)
On topic: Kelly needs to do that Master Blaster cleanse or whatever it's called. Just stand back. Hooooly.
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Fuck Kristie Alley. Bitch hasn't done quality work since that bio-pic of being a Playboy Bunny server.
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
I really love Kelly's music, but seriously, what the fuck happened to her. This girl has major eating problems, she's up she's down, she's all over the fucking place. I can't believe she performed looking like that. Major chunk thighs, greasy hair. Here's something you don't hear on this site much, Fuck girl, put the hamburger down. I guess her life would suck on Jenny Craig.
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:45pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:42pm.
The camera does add 10 pounds you know.
Then they must have been filming in IMAX
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Attention, mon ami. If Kelly wrapped those thunder thighs around your head, you'd be a goner.
(hahahahahahaha oh my, that's *quite* a powerful visual)
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Ah come on. Despite the fact that this is really incredibly tame for something on Dlisted, let's leave Kelly alone!
She seems perfectly normal and is very average, makes fun music, and isn't a fame whore.
But I really wish Kelly would lose weight just to avoid the whole potential for people to pick on her. I mean, I'm not even really a particular fan--I've never heard any of her music that wasn't released on radio/tv--but she seems very OK. Like, me wanting my same-age-as-me daughter-I-never-had to lose weight so she won't be made fun of...
And yeah, Kelly's not particularly enormous, she just apparently gains weight very badly, and I think she's also short. Being short is so crappy when it comes to weight! I know this personally. You gain weight easier, aren't supposed to consume as many calories as other people, and often end up looking like a stumpy troll. Not cool.
Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:39pm.
Quite unfortunate. Made me laugh though.
She's singing her latest song, "A Marshmallow Like This".
Hi Joe. Feeling much better, thanks. Spent most of the weekend on my back. Kind of like a Hollywood starlet, but with nobody on top of me. I should be okay to go to work by Wednesday.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
damned if you do and damned if you eat.
I did think that was Kirstie Alley for a second....
And she is really pretty at a smaller weight but oh well...look at Aretha! Look at Mariah! And one of the best voices out there who gets NO credit...Martha Wash, but y'all loved her when she was that slim chick in C&C Music Factory milli vanillaing their way thru their music, discriminating on the muscularly challenged.
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Jean-Paul Sartre "So that is what hell is. I would never have believed it. You remember: the fire and brimstone, the torture. Ah! the farce. There is no need for torture: hell is other people."
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:42pm.
The camera does add 10 pounds you know.
Then they must have been filming in IMAX.
Submitted by Mr. President on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:41pm.
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Mr Prez are you feeling better? Has la grippe porcine left you?
Edited to add: On topic, Kelly is porcine.
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
The camera does add 10 pounds you know.
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
"Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:39pm.
I am in the small frame category for my height (5'4") and weight (126), and I wear a size 6. NO FUCKING WAY she is in an 8 with that pear shaped bottom half, just NO WAY."
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. She's wayyy short (saw her in concert. She's actually taller than me, but not much. I'm 4'11".) She is at least a 12/15.
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
She's a naturally pretty girl who needs to take it easy on the donuts. The music industry already has a Beth Ditto, which is one too many. Or should I say, five too many.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Oh, and in all seriousness; I'm bigger than I should be so I can't say much but I can tell that she's at least an 18 in bottoms. I know from experience.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Submitted by Happy Hour on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:37pm.
by Gonnaburn... on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:23pm.
Happy- I am thinking that's 12-14 ish. If not, she needs
Well, she could be an 8 at old navy :-)
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Old Navy sucks. I can be a 2, 4, 6, or an 8 there depending on the item. That is some fuckery right there!
"Submitted by Gonnaburn... on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:32pm.
Agreed. That was good stuff."
He needed more scenes sporting the scruff. MEOW!
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
Submitted by Happy Hour on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:37pm.
lol! No doubt. Nothing like inspiring brand loyalty!
I am in the small frame category for my height (5'4") and weight (126), and I wear a size 6. NO FUCKING WAY she is in an 8 with that pear shaped bottom half, just NO WAY.
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Dick happens! - MK
All that weight and STILL flat chested; by golly, that would make me cry...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:27pm.
Submitted by The C word on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:24pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:23pm.
LMAO! I remember waking up drunk. Ah..good times, good times...
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...and going to work. :S
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Ooooh, the walk of shame! *blushes*
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Ooooh...the alcohol oozing from my pores the way sex oozes from that ho....
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by Gonnaburn... on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:23pm.
Happy- I am thinking that's 12-14 ish. If not, she needs
Well, she could be an 8 at old navy :-)
Submitted by MJF on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:11pm.
She's selling her music, not her body. She has an actual talent, as opposed to, say, a Hilton or something like that.
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Yeah, I've always been a pop culture slut...and way way back I thought about which I preferred.
I will always love the vaudevillians first they can do it all - but they don't tend to be "pretty"...when they work tho, they look good. Good, old fashioned harsh grooming goes a LONG LONG way for all these people...second was the music industry and the dance that goes with it - also don't rest on their looks (or didn't USED to) then writers...then acting (first stage, then screen)...then modeling (those girls aren't always "pretty") and the rest of them TV/Movie hos (not all - just the bad ones - that's lots), lipsynching coke and pepsi selling whores (popstars)...can't be fucking bothered. I used to call them "flowerheads". It's the way they've been getting so much serious attention over the years that brough me to DListed...
Flowers aren't meant to last very long but they are pretty to look at, fersure. They're meant as decoration - giving them serious work and taking them seriously - it's just fucking so insulting.
Britney's a perfect example of dumbing down a nation. Because you can show a child anything and it will forever have a place in their heart. If you give them crap, they will think crap is better something solid - if you tell them looks are more important than talent: ie, if you don't have looks, it doesn't even MATTER if you have talent - part of them will always feel that way, even if they can intellectualize themselves out of it.
OMG what am i even talking about?
RANT OVER!
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Submitted by The C word on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:32pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 7:27pm.
Ooooh, the walk of shame! *blushes*
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LOL, I wouldn't know anything about that.
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Me either. ;)
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In Mesquite, Texas, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
Oh dear!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
She's entered the moosearilla phase