Bat Out Of Hell!
Kelly Clarkson performed at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango in Los Angeles this weekend looking like crusty Meat Loaf with extra bread crumbs. She's even got a pinch of Cojo in the face. Maybe right before her performance she walked in on Gaycrest waxing his glitter hole and she never fully recovered from that sight. I don't know. But I do know that Kelly needs to pour Adderall dust over those jeans and feed them to Paula Abdul STAT. Those jeans shouldn't have made it out of 1997 alive.
And I'm mad at Kelly right now because that "My Life Would Suck Without Fooood" song has become a regular part of my nightly dreams. That's not the first thing I want to be humming when I wake up in the morning. The first thing I want to be humming on is a.... Okay, I'll stop.
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Kirstie Alley? Sorry..no...
whoa. she looks HUGEEE, what happened kelly?
you gotta start taking care of yourself. This is not healthy.
xerquina-
Boston isn't the sports capital of America PERIOD.
Hate to break it to self absorbed Boston fans but most of the country cant stand your teams and a good majority of "fans" are total bandwagon.
Red Sox "fans" are the worst... so gd arrogant bc they have won 2 world series in 80+ years. Wow
Submitted by Mr. President on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:37pm.
Ice baseball. LOL. And from a CANADIAN kid.
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Right? I was waiting for you:)
Nite, hun. Glad you're feeling better.
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Ice baseball. LOL. And from a CANADIAN kid.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Nawmsayin' Freak?;)
Back atcha, Provy:)
Nitol.
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I have just one more thing to say to make this thread fatter than Kelly Clarkson...if she says "ya'll" one more time in a blog she's officially morphing into a Paula Deen butter sculpture.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
Submitted by Online Always on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 10:51pm.
Shes a big girl
You sit here all day and make fun of people
Whats worse?
Kelly. She's less focused.
Kelly looks like she ate a truck of Potato chips & wings.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:28pm.
gnite...wet dreams
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:20pm.
SIX MONTHS!!! That's a lot of all-you-can-eat buffets!
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Zackly. The proof is in the pudding (on her face:)
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Submitted by Mr. President on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:19pm.
Provo: Anybody can deliver a sucker punch. He'll get his just desserts, don't worry.
angel, I hope you're not letting our friend Riki Lake get you down. *sending positive vibes* Of all the names for him to choose, it has to be Riki Lake. HA!
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No no! I chose it. It's cool. But I WAS curious. I didn't actually lay out any scenario that wasn't possible. You know cuz women fluctuate more than men...and that whole "tryna be underweight" thing turning into an "overweight" thing is really true, it happens all the time - guys wouldn't know cuz they just don't fret and fluctuate that much
...And I wanted to see what people had been looking at that they were so shocked - cuz I looked at before pictures of my sometimes avvie and she was already packing it on...that would have been about 6 or 7 months ago, at LEAST, if not longer...I remember thinking: wow, she doesn't look like this picture at all!...just not that fast is all.
...Someone said it in here: "She doesn't look like herself" and I thought: "UM..yeah - she doesn't look like the CRAYOLA version of herself AT ALL! No."....they retouch her SOOOOOOO much! They even stretch her in her vids.
... I think that's the part that's bothering me really...all this retouching and stretching and the way it fucks with people's perceptions and fucking diets and plastic surgery Sodom and Gommorrah and the Apocalypse and that Hell is here on Earth, not anywhere else and prolly I need to go to bed;)
Anybitch, ricki who?
I should just stick to reading about hockey, actually.
Funny story: My daughter, age 6: OMG! OMG! They're FIGHTING in that ice baseball game!
Haha!
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did the fuckin' bruins lose...again?
Boston isn't the sports capital of America until the Bruins win. come on Bruins!
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:15pm.
LOOK. If you wanna make fun of her - go read her blog and count "y'all"s.
http://www.kellyclarkson.com/?em5003=190339_-1__0_~0_-1_5_2009_0_0&conte...
AT ANY RATE, I went there because I wanted to know how long she's been on tour. She's just now on tour. If she makes it six months on tour and is still that fat - I'll..., well nothing. Alls I'm saying is THEN you should be worried.
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SIX MONTHS!!! That's a lot of all-you-can-eat buffets!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Provo: Anybody can deliver a sucker punch. He'll get his just desserts, don't worry.
angel, I hope you're not letting our friend Riki Lake get you down. *sending positive vibes* Of all the names for him to choose, it has to be Riki Lake. HA!
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
♪ Bitch got FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF Kelly!
LOOK. If you wanna make fun of her - go read her blog and count "y'all"s.
http://www.kellyclarkson.com/?em5003=190339_-1__0_~0_-1_5_2009_0_0&conte...
AT ANY RATE, I went there because I wanted to know how long she's been on tour. She's just now on tour. If she makes it six months on tour and is still that fat - I'll..., well nothing. Alls I'm saying is THEN you should be worried.
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@Mr. President
lol look at these pussay bruins!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCNqgbNg2WQ
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
@Provolone: And I do not like YOUR innuendo, but fersure, I get what you mean.
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Submitted by TITS on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:09pm.
Um... GO LEAFS!
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LEAVES
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Um... GO LEAFS!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
Ovechkin's a douche and even the Hanson brothers won't be able to help the Canes now that the good guys are back on track.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:04pm.
i dont like your inneundo. but i always have backup teams in sports....they're the fat chicks/3 oclock slop if ya get what i mean
@sushi, ovechkin is one rasputin lookin muthafucka!!
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Provolone: I love Ovechkin. I find him oddly sexy and would definitely hit that!
Canes: I'd like to see them win, but only in Game 7. Staal is fucking hot.
Detroit: Not sure about. On one hand, I love seeing any Califonia team lose but I am tired of the Red Wings being a force. I'm torn.
OMG, she just doesn't care anymore, does she? She's unrecognizable, and closing in on Kirstie Alley. Good grief.
Provolone: Do you keep switching teams?
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Submitted by Mr. President on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:01pm.
Hey Provolone, I hear Sean Avery shot a 92 on the golf course this afternoon. HAHAHA.
at the end of the day i knew the rangers who were probably the 3rd worst scoring team have no chance at the cup. but damn if the bruins lose that HAS to be heartbreaking. LETS GO CANES!!!! STAAL BROTHERS 4 LIF
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Hey Provolone, I hear Sean Avery shot a 92 on the golf course this afternoon. HAHAHA.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
NUCKERS LOSE!! @sushi, i pull for luongo cause of his wop heritage. damn! but now im pulling for blackhawk vs. pen/caps final. ovechkin is fucking wild so id love to see him on display.
On topic. Id hit it.
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
:O.. Ew!!
Poor Kelly...someone needs to walk away from the Twinkies. Damn.
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
Gaining weight is not a crime or even a bad thing, yes I am talking to you Lindsey.But when you stop looking like yourself then there is a big problem (no pun intended).
You can dress as badly as you want when you are skinny and get away with it. But when you are bigger and you dress this way, you look like a big bag of fat shit. I know because I'm big, if I had this outfit on I'd look just as bad. She need's to watch What not to Wear while being tied to a chair and forced to eat some veggies that are not deep fried.
"Eagles may soar, but weasels are never sucked into jet engines"
EAST END GIRL WHERE ARE YOU....FUCKING BLACKHAWKS!! WHAT A GAME
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I'm not East End girl but I'm watching the game. I can't believe how many momentum shifts there have been in this game. But it's a 2 goal lead and if you think back to the Canes vs. Devils series, there is still enough time to score however unlikely.
Take her out back and shoot her?
How about just taking her to Outback and ordering the blooming onion and a few drinks, to start with? I mean, what the hell ... she can start her diet tomorrow.
EAST END GIRL WHERE ARE YOU....FUCKING BLACKHAWKS!! WHAT A GAME
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 10:32pm.
i just got a semi...excuse me, *gets semi*
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Fat is one thing. But those bad clothes...I know some girls Kelly's size and they look fine. This girl is dressing to be ridiculed. The girl needs to watch some episodes of What Not To Wear. Cover the bat wings under the arms. Wear some boot cut jeans that balance out the hips. Fuck. She looks like a sequined sausage. But she still looks better than Fuckney with the bloody pad.
'Night, Gonnaburn - Don't sweat it - it was nothing really...
*smooch*!
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@Provolone: Yeah, babay? You make me wanna put things between my asterisks!
OMG - did I type that out loud?!
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give it a few years - a welcome mat awaits us all.
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Please tell me that's a joke.
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Hair grows.
I believe things like this is why our vision deteriorates as we age.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
And I am sorry I missed it. Smooches. g' nite!
wow- some fuckery went down.
"Bat out of hell"? More like "Fat out of hell"...
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 10:22pm.
oh does it! WOOOO, you make me want to write sexay things in between asterisks
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Poor Kelly. So the girl ate a box of Mallo Mars and washed it down with a gallon of milk. Haven't we all? Ok, maybe just me and Kelly.
Still looking for "that blue jean, baby queen"?
Search over!
"Hey, hey
Rock and roll
Rock on..."
Sorry but this post is too funny! Pole dancing, this is not.
Kelly you should not look like Meat Loaf! That's not okay! Please stop channeling elderly heavy-set male rockers, right now. And let Janis rest in peace. Summertime blues, indeed! OMG!
Poor Kelly! David Cassidy called, he wants his hair back! Richard Simmons called, he wants that top back! Your mom called, she says try a bra next time, and aha! there's that pair of jeans..
Over 300 comments about this? You gotta be shittin' me!
ESE I see your youtube link and i raise you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PUppAaLCCs&feature=PlayList&p=A665E803F1...
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I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 10:16pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 10:13pm.
Its obvious angel i need some vitamin Provolone in her diet
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O man...don't say things like that after I get myself all worked up fighting with a gay. I'm always kinda frisky after that....and I don't even know what that means but it sounds hot.;p
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