Bat Out Of Hell!
Kelly Clarkson performed at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango in Los Angeles this weekend looking like crusty Meat Loaf with extra bread crumbs. She's even got a pinch of Cojo in the face. Maybe right before her performance she walked in on Gaycrest waxing his glitter hole and she never fully recovered from that sight. I don't know. But I do know that Kelly needs to pour Adderall dust over those jeans and feed them to Paula Abdul STAT. Those jeans shouldn't have made it out of 1997 alive.
And I'm mad at Kelly right now because that "My Life Would Suck Without Fooood" song has become a regular part of my nightly dreams. That's not the first thing I want to be humming when I wake up in the morning. The first thing I want to be humming on is a.... Okay, I'll stop.
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I suggest Bulimia!
I taped that picture over my refrigerator.
Oh yeah, and you think those Hollywood stylists know how to dress anyone over a size 6? Puh-fucking-leeze. I wouldn't be surprised if her stylist DID dress her in this catastrophe. It's either "Dress the same as the skinny hos, but just in a bigger size" or "Wear a tent." Kelly, take my advice, deep V-neck 3/4 length sleeve tops, A-line skirts, and straight leg pants are your BEST FRIENDS right now. Do NOT show your arms under any circumstances. Oh yeah, get a new make-up artist, your eyes need to stand out more through the puffiness of your face. And, bigger hair will balance out your hips. Long, cascading waves and layers with caramel highlights. TRUST ME, bitch!
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
I mean, I get that she's in superficial Showbiz, but I see people that look 100x worse than this IRL on a daily basis. And don't tell me you sluts don't, either! We are so used to seeing perfectly photoshopped and anorexic physiques in photos. People are flawed. People have warts. People have blubber.
Think about what you're saying. If a homeless person really looked like Kelly, they'd be doing very well, I'd say. She's chubby, but that doesn't mean she's gonna get diabetes or have a heart attack tomorrow. Oh yeah, and some people gain a lot of weight in their face, which explains why her mug looks so puffy and lesbionic. I kinda feel bad for her cuz my weight has fluctuated before. It is NOT FUN. & I thank Jesus I didn't live in the spotlight for everyone to see me not looking my best.
BTW, I live in Miami, which for some reason has a rep for having attractive people. But there are unnatractive folks everywhere.
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
Now I see why Clive Davis is always on her ass(es). She NEEDS help...form the gate.
She needs to admit she is a yo-yo dieter and put down the chicken & waffles and & God knows what else!
And I must add, I don't care of she's thick OR thin. She just needs to relegate herself to one OR the other. Jesus, who does she think she is?
Carnie?! Kirstie?!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
I love when someone gets fat and people are like "it's the outfit" NO IT'S NOT!! It's her fat face, fat arms, fat stomache and fat legs!
Bingo wings at 20? Oooh....
We all gain weight at some point but she looks awful mostly because of her outfit. It doesn't do her any favor.
Now that I look at her pics again, she really should have worn a tank that came down longer, over her hips. That short ass shirt falls right at her gut and makes it look even worse. It's like she gave up on hair, makeup and being healthy.
When I got chubby last year, my boobs got huge. I never had boobs before then. Now that I lost the weight, the boobs are still nice and decent sized. If I had known getting fat would give me boobs, I'd have done it years ago. Figures I go through my teens and twenties with a flat chest and in my 30's i'm rocking a pair of full C's.
As for kelly, she's a pretty girl...but she doesn't look good fat. Her face has a tinge of elvis bloat to it. And wtf is she wearing those tight ass pants. You know bitch can't breathe in em. Oh well, at least she's doing her own thing and doesn't give a fuck what anyone says..obviously.
that's not what sticks out at me, whenever i see her on tv or in pictures she looks like she isn't genuinely enjoying herself. she doesn't seem happy.
I don't even think she's wearing makeup...
oh, Kelly..
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Annelle, honey, what do you say we talk some trash.
It takes a lot of calories to maintain that size. If her weakness is, for example, Mountain Dew, she would lose a lot of weight without exercising if she stopped consuming that one item.
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didn't people from the industry tell her to lose weight?! they usually do when a singer/celeb gets fat.
Some people are born with that combination. Whachugonnado.
poor chick is short and fat BUT at least she doesn't look like a slut! as some other peep said she looks way better than bit bit!
She looks human. But imagine what she is doing to her health being that weight.
I see diabetic written all over her.
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The New Improved Wyle E
"Give this ho a Sharpie!"
fatt ass NO tits!! WORST combination EVER ! ! !
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'homo sapiens' - greatest error committed by nature
the fatter they get the fatter they fall
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'homo sapiens' - greatest error committed by nature
Thunder thighs..hehe
She looks HUMAN in a non-accepting of humans world.
This makes me loathe my short height even more..
It's the american idol curse... Jordin Sparks, Ruben whateverthefuckhisnameis, Kelly, Clay, YOUALL GONNA BLIMP! NO DENYIN!
holy fat fuck. what happend to her??!??
If she looked more put-together it wouldn't be so bad... and if her pants were less body skimming and maybe some sleeves.
You have to know that you don't spend 7 days a week in the gym.. so you should dress accordingly. Not frumpy, just flattering.
Submitted by putas on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 12:27am.
Now can someone please tell me what happened to Justin Guarini that thing she dated forever ago..'To Kelly Love Justin' remember that god awful movie anyone?
I've been seeing him on the TV Guide channel lately.
I heart Bristol Palin
When she walks her thighs rub together making it wear through her jeans. She goes through more clothes then Meatloaf. Her ass is just going to get bigger from here. She's not the starlet she used to be thats for sure. I don't know what she plans on but what ever it is be afraid be very afraid.
bo_tatoe on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:51pm.
Well said and bravo. TV talent contest winner! Basta!
Now can someone please tell me what happened to Justin Guarini that thing she dated forever ago..'To Kelly Love Justin' remember that god awful movie anyone? It was amazing and I need to find it again.
Not to be a topic nazi, but if we're talking sports in a Kelly Clarkson thread, shouldn't we be discussing Sumo wrestling or competitive eating?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
@MR. PRes. THE YANKS WERE CLEAN THEN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH...Dirtier sox then a 16 yr old virgins!! Next up, Pujols, Ortiz, Tejada...and that guy my bros. drafted in fantasy baseball magglio ordonez...JUICED!!!!! and jimmy rollins!!
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
bye good! fat asses.
fuck you think with all that weight her tits would get bigger..... I always hate it when bitches are shaped like grimace! Fucking EWWWWWWWWWWW!
Yeah Provo, too bad the Sox weren't as clean as the Yanks *snort*. Anyway, goodnight haterzzzzzz.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I mean *cough* (clears throat) hoagie!!! Fucking Captain Morgan always leading my spelling astray.....
Somehow, David Ortiz went from being a 180 lb singles hitter who couldn't play regularly for the Twins to being a 260 lb slugger with a hat size that would make HR Pufnstuf cringe, all in one year. No HGH though, he's just on the Kelly Clarkson diet. And his beard is so gay!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Holy shit Mama Cass is back!!! Looks like that hogie didn't do her in after all!
skip nutz was the fuckin' man!!!!!!
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:56pm.
Manny was on roids HAND BACK THE WORLD SERIES TROPHY....ohhh and D ortiz has 0 homeruns this year wonder if he was on the HGH
I know: I live in LA and am bummed big time. Ortiz looks lost up there.
People!!! it doesn't matter how fat she is right now, by the time she finishes reading all these comments she'll be anorexic. NO worries!! sheesh!!
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:56pm.
omigod Prov you did not go there!
Provie - typically how many countries participate in your world series?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:50pm.
include upstate NY north of albany, they are all boston fans. Manny was on roids HAND BACK THE WORLD SERIES TROPHY....ohhh and D ortiz has 0 homeruns this year wonder if he was on the HGH..HAHAHHAHAHHA FUCKING CHEATERS!!! Id make fun of the Celtics but the only NBA fans I know are unathletic jewish kids
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
+370 comments and counting. Jesusfattychrist, see the hippo herd stomp to the rescue of one of their own.
While i wouldn't hold against her that she's obese - we all come in different shapes and sizes - what really gets me is people praising her talent when actually all she is, is a fucking tv karaoke contest winner. This is so very much what the music world does not need: artificial, fabricated "stars" who don't know the first thing about music and making music.
Meat Loaf, Beth Ditto ... those are fat people who actually HAVE talent. They made it solely because of their talent (dare i say it?: despite their looks).
Fatty Clarkson has zero talent. If it wasn't for a certain karaoke contest tv show she'd still be shrieking in some karaoke bar in East Cupcake Illinois or wherever. That's how far her "talent" would have gotten her.
And pardon me - when it comes to fabricated, fake musicians at the least i demand something easy on the eye. Not a two-legged hippo.
bandwagon?! how can our fans be bandwagon hoppers when you clearly stated we won 2 in 80 plus years? the Yankees are bandwagon. but it's okay BB we are the bestest fans to ever bested any none best fans ever!!!
Submitted by Mr. President on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:44pm.
EVERYBODY loves our teams!
Everybody from Maine to RI.
Boston is where all my flushed polo shirts go to die.
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"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
i love her voice and all but her indifference to her appearance is really turning me off. stop eating so much!
Submitted by BrunetteBarbie on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:43pm.
xerquina-
Boston isn't the sports capital of America PERIOD.
Hate to break it to self absorbed Boston fans but most of the country cant stand your teams and a good majority of "fans" are total bandwagon.
Red Sox "fans" are the worst... so gd arrogant bc they have won 2 world series in 80+ years. Wow
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Hear, hear.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by BrunetteBarbie on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 11:40pm.
EVERYBODY loves our teams! We're not self-absorbed. *stares into mirror*
Bye, angel.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."