The School Of Lohan
Alleged 15-year-old (wink to Mah Boo) Ali Lohan has been whoring herself all over the place with her big sister and some were asking a very valid question: "Why isn't this old baby face marinating in a classroom?" That's because she's enrolled in The Lohan School of Hard Cocks, I mean, Knocks.
White Oprah told the New York Daily News that it's impossible for Ali to be in school full-time, because she's in HObusiness. White Oprah wiped her nose, cleaned her teefs and said, "She is home schooled. I'm a firm believer in staying in school but, in the business, it's gotten difficult for Ali to be in school."
You know, Ali Lohan would probably be better off being raised by a pack of day-shift hookers (actually, she kind of is, right?), but imagine if you were 15 again and your mom let you be homeschooled. You could sleep until your hangover wore off, watch stories all day, eat junk crap by the gallons, work on your tan and then do like 10-seconds of school work. It would be kind of awesome. Ho stuff 24/7.
However, in a couple of years, Ali is going to be wishing she sat in a math class or two when somebody tells her the dealer gave her 2 grams instead of 5. The more you know (shooting star).
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whta show business is this bitch in? Is there a revival of the Golden Girls nobody told me about?
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
home schooled?! by who?!
MK! Wake up! Rise and shine! Today's a holiday! Kim Z's rabid wig got into a heated altercation on the radio! ---> http://www.q100atlanta.com/BertShow/tabid/227/Default.aspx
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Chile, I said Cha-Cha heels...black ones!
I would like to know, what "business" is this girl in? Is it professional "Party ho"? I've yet to see this girl "working?". Is taking a few pictures outside nite clubs work? What a joke this woman is. She probably could not go back to school due to the ridicule of her sister being a crazy bisexual coke whore.
Enlighten me White Oprah?
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:59am.
Thanks for clearing that up! I'm surprised one managed to make it out all normal-like.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
There are not many people who are smart enough to homeschool. I cringe everytime I see one of my old high school friends talking about homeschooling their children on FB. Not only does it seem to be all the people who were C students in high school but their posts are always full of misspellings and they seem to love to interchange your/you're. *shudders*
I am not trying to be a snob by any means and as you can tell my spelling/grammar sucks, but I also would never home school my children.
Ali needs to lighten that hair, she looks beat.
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And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
Well, if home-schooling comes with a seal of approval from Long Island's Mother of the Year, who are we to question it?
Ignorance breeds ignorance........the Lohans are uneducated white trash! Lindsay is proof. I pity them!
Is WO doing the homeschooling? Ha! I'd like to see that curriculum. As for maths skills, pshaw! Who needs them?
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This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.(Winston Churchill said this cuz my granny told me he did)
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 10:09am.
LOL DG I know, what a letdown that was. Congrats on your caption win, I just saw that! good job, chica!
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Awww shucks, thanx Snowy! I had great competition!
Coooooodyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
I'd truly like to understand something. Is WO so delusional that she thinks Old Babyface Lohan has the potential to be something in the entertainment industry? WO, newsflash: SHE DOESN'T.
OR, the alternative, is that she knows it but doesn't care enough about Ali to give her a shot at making something of herself in another way - like by going to college and getting an actual J-O-B. I know that's something the Lohan family hopes to avoid, but it is an option. Ali probably would feel a lot better about herself if she actually did something with her life instead of trailing around after her crackhead sister like a little lost puppy dog.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
LOL DG I know, what a letdown that was. Congrats on your caption win, I just saw that! good job, chica!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 10:02am.
Are you trying to tell me White Oprah is capable of teaching Algebra? Science etc? Hell, she can't even twitter, LOLOLOL
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Hey Snowy, I am still not over the sting of White Oprah being a fake on Twitter! I miss following Cody!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cooooooddddddyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because of fake Cody, I still have Cold Stone Creamery following me on Twitter!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Wait, wait. Dina's SPERMBROWS!
there's two soaps I watch if I happen to be home and I call them mah stories!
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Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:48am.
Sorry Sheeps, but Many is just being Manny, is your problem now, not my beloved Red sox's! :P
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Are you trying to tell me White Oprah is capable of teaching Algebra? Science etc? Hell, she can't even twitter, LOLOLOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Oh MK, loved several things about this:
"watch stories all day" - - my Grandpa used to call it watching storied - - yay!
"The more you know..." LOVE.
As for this shit, what business, exactly, is Ali in? Last time I checked, she's not a movie star, she's not a singer, she's not a model...what business is she in?
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
white oprah's got the right idea about homeschooling ali...who better to teach her how to suck cock, snort coke and age 30 years than mother of the year herself...and, ali has the pleasure of having some one on one with the expert of tricking, lilo...
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Some people fight fire with fire. Professionals use water.
Angel
word. I doubt I could teach eight grade math..
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Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by JillyPoo on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:56am
There is a n Older Boy, who is in college and seems to have a pretty normal life, and there's cody, the youngest one.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
I had friend that were home schooled and let me tell you they had longer school hours than I did, and recess, and another one that were probably schooled like the lohan
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by Sensimina on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:47am.
This picture screams "NEW JERSEY" so loudly my eardrums are bleeding. Trash alert.
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you can't blame this one on Jersey, they're 100% Long Island trash!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
Isn't there a brother in this trashtastic family? Cody or something like that? On one hand I feel sorry for him because the 2 girls are the only ones who seem to get any attention from either parent, yet on the other I realize how lucky he is that he's not being dragged into sHOwbusiness like the others.
Maybe he and Solange share the basement?
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
What exactly does she do?
I mean, at least RedLohan goes to clubs, gets fucked up and gets payed for it, right?
The more you know (shooting star).. and that's one to grow on.
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"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?" -Heather Chandler
"He looks like a furious masturbator." -Sheeps
Homeschooled by whom?!?!
I'm a bright lady but my daughter, at only TEN, is getting to a point where I sure am glad I got some experts hanging around at her school with all that info I didn't bother to collect while I was busy living my life...
I COULD have homeschooled her (I didn't ever, officially, but we're kinda academic nerds - we do that kinda stuff for fun around the house) up to about a year ago...now I just don't know enough, specifically, about how to TEACH it. It's one thing having the information, it's totally something else to get other people to get what you're talking about...
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Submitted by DonkeyPunched on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:49am.
What exactly does she do?
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by the look of this pic, i would say her job is letting HoHan rub her self tanner-covered hands on her.
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www.walkms.org
help me regain my life! as you burn calories.
it's hard to stay in school for ali because if you watched one episode of their reality show (hilarious) she is a whiny, delusional loser and all the other girls loved to make fun of her. She cried and pouted until she convinced her moron of a mother to let her just stay home and be "home schooled" and the sucker totally fell for it.
maybe she's going to join her sister in the "they're not my pants" club.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Remember those little shrunken apple people you see people make and sell at county fairs and shit? Look at Ali Lohan. Give her ten years and she will be the benchmark for little shrunken apple people.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Submitted by missy on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:42am.
hey Sheeps, too bad about Manny, eh?
**snickersnicker**
hahahaha. Everyone is sooooo bummed. No one thought it would go perfectly but few expected this. It's embarrassing to drive around town and see all the huge "Mannywood" and "I'm back" posters. And the team was on such a roll. *climbing onto roof*
At lest White Oprah did one thing right by naming her "Ali" cuz she'll be working in one in another year or two.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Fri, 05/08/2009 -
Home-schooling obviously did not work for snortcake #1.
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ahahahaahahah! I love that!
This picture screams "NEW JERSEY" so loudly my eardrums are bleeding. Trash alert.
Ali is not cute at all, she'll never land a single role. ESPECIALLY since White Oprah is part of the package.
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http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
COME AT ME, BITCH!
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:44am.
In the business???? WHAT BUSINESS IS SHE IN?!!!?
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Whoring out her daughters for any price.
I'm Falling In Love Again. Never Wanted To. I'm Not To Blame. ~ Christina Aguilera, Falling In Love Again
you would think since Ali is what, 45?, she'd already had her HS diploma...
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www.walkms.org
help me regain my life! as you burn calories.
I hope Dina isn't the one "teaching" Ali and that Ali has a real teacher.
I'm Falling In Love Again. Never Wanted To. I'm Not To Blame. ~ Christina Aguilera, Falling In Love Again
Let me get right to the point.
Home-schooling obviously did not work for snortcake #1. LaLindz has been quoting as calling black people 'colored'.
WTF?
And what makes White Oprah think it's going to work with her other skanklette?
I bet her version of home-schooling involved being able to weigh the grams, bake the crack, and make the rails.
Sesame Street, it ain't!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
In the business???? WHAT BUSINESS IS SHE IN?!!!?
Ohmygod.
she's in the business? oh, really? what movie/tvshow/commerical/cd/ is she doing?
whitey okra needs to sit down and shut the fuck up.
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Fucka doodle-do.
This will turn out well. Watch.
*insert bitchy sarcasm here*
The only good thing about all of these idiots breeding, and or being young now, is that we will have much shit to talk about in the future!
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Beter ten halve gekeerd dan ten volle gedwaald.
Ali's never been a school person.
Well, of course not.
She grew up watching her mother and sister doing crackhead shit, it's not like she had great role models. *shakes head*
Ali get your fugly ass in skool gurl!
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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get-NOFX
GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
yes, home schooled...thats it *wink wink*
All the Lohans need to disspaear from the face of the earth.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Is enrollment open for School of Hard Cocks? I want in
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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get-NOFX
GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
hey Sheeps, too bad about Manny, eh?
**snickersnicker**
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
This girl better realize she needs a Plan B because obviously her mother isn't going to push her to have a back-up plan for her life. The only thing this girl is known for now is being the older sister of Linds. I kind of doubt that will ever change.
And look how well homeschooling worked for Linds...
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Some people say forgive and forget. Nah, I don't know. I say forget about forgiving and just accept. And... get the hell out of town.
See, tolya. Enty at CDAN mentions this all the time: Why isn't Ali Lohan in school? WO keeps Ali "homeschooled" so she can keep making $$ for WO. Nice to have a pimp for a mother.
Ali would be better off with OctoCrazy. She'd at least get elbowed out of camera range and we wouldn't have to see her.
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Nothing matters but the weekend
From a Tuesday point of view
Like a kettle in the kitchen
I feel the steam begin to brew