The School Of Lohan
Alleged 15-year-old (wink to Mah Boo) Ali Lohan has been whoring herself all over the place with her big sister and some were asking a very valid question: "Why isn't this old baby face marinating in a classroom?" That's because she's enrolled in The Lohan School of Hard Cocks, I mean, Knocks.
White Oprah told the New York Daily News that it's impossible for Ali to be in school full-time, because she's in HObusiness. White Oprah wiped her nose, cleaned her teefs and said, "She is home schooled. I'm a firm believer in staying in school but, in the business, it's gotten difficult for Ali to be in school."
You know, Ali Lohan would probably be better off being raised by a pack of day-shift hookers (actually, she kind of is, right?), but imagine if you were 15 again and your mom let you be homeschooled. You could sleep until your hangover wore off, watch stories all day, eat junk crap by the gallons, work on your tan and then do like 10-seconds of school work. It would be kind of awesome. Ho stuff 24/7.
However, in a couple of years, Ali is going to be wishing she sat in a math class or two when somebody tells her the dealer gave her 2 grams instead of 5. The more you know (shooting star).
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I;m sure the original quote was Dina said Ali was in show business...is this a joke? I sas the show a few times, Ali bombed at everything she tried and even that crappy show is canceled.
WHAT show business????
A 15-year-old (snicker) who's homeschooled? Used to be called a dropout.
Dina should have Ali taken away from her...this is totally ridiculous. Ali is hanging out with Hohan and learning bad shit from her, that is not what home schooling is about either. WTF is she learning @ home. Nothing but how to whore herself out to Hollywood. No one cares about a 15 year old who looks 45! EGADS!
I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog's balls than sit on a jury.
White Oprah ruined all her kids. They have no chance to be normal. I pity Aly & Lindsey.
"In the business?!?" Trying to foist this truck stop hooker onto Hollywood is a colossal waste of time. This "girl" is monumentally stupid, painfully ugly and untalented. This mental midget might as well get fitted with her KMart smock now, because that's the only career that is in this dumb bitch's future.
The continuing ridiculous, immature and asinine behavior by this whole family continues to show how ignorant and low rent they all are. It should ensure that none of them will get hired for acting jobs in the future.
I'm always hoping that every breaking news alert I receive from Fox News will be the one that says Lindsay has overdosed and died. Do you think me wicked?
White Oprah teaching someone? Did the Daily News mix up home schooled with "ho schooled"?
As everyday passes with the crazy Lohan's, her father Michael is looking like the sane one in the family and that is pretty hard to do!!!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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What work?? That kid isn't busy doing anything but training in the ways of the crazy.
"She's a predator posing as a house pet"
BCH:
you're much too kind. Hustler?
More like Long Island Beaver Quarterly
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Hope she's eating right, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.....ask any Hoe,
A coke and a Smoke around Noon really git the mind ready for sum schoolin...
keep up the good work we're all Pulling for ya.
See ya in hustler....
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 12:57pm.
Oh yeah! That makes sense. I forgot about those schools.
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Submitted by lara on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 12:09pm.
very very strange this home-schooled thing from what i've read here. don't the kids get tested? who verifies that those kids are taught things?and who does the teaching? i assume paid teachers right? and they have a teacher for every subject? cos in school there are a lot of subjects. interesting.....
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That's all part of letting go...letting go of the idea that the system is in place is the only right system...That "they" are the only ones who know how to, accurately, judge an educational process...
Where I am, I feel like the School Board has lost touch. They're worried about numbers instead of being worried about people. They're trying to use outworn methods to produce better and better results. Results that don't include self-esteem, responsibility, self-awareness and even problem solving...cuz it's so fascist, all the problems have been solved already! Kids don't really need to think - they just need to barf out what you stuff in them...
But I won't go on about that....
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 12:18pm.
Submitted by lara on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 12:09pm.
the parents do it all. I guess they could hire tutors, but I've never heard of that happening. i guess having the teachers version of textbooks with the answers is felt to be enough.
frankly I don't know too many people who could teach calculus at a hs level. *shrug*
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Not too many people even try. Often homeschooled kids attend alternative or free school as they enter their teens.
But, IME, that depends a lot on the teen. Many homeschooled kids just start collecting information by themselves by that age - and, really, parents are just around to help them find, disseminate, and seek out guidance from knowledgeable sources...rather than try to teach it all themselves...but with those kids...their only job is to learn. They may have hobbies but their education is still the main activity in their lives.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Damn. That kid is fucked. I hope she won't be shy when it comes to double penetration on camera.
At the rate these people are going, that Cody kid is probably going to end up doing this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFQyib5ZQZY
parissucksliterally:
How can Ali be dead by 20 when that burgeoning skankbiscuit is pushing 45 too?
Her mama?
Not her mama!
Dina is her sister!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Ali is dead by age 20. just wait.
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"dumb bitches should stick to giving hummers rather than driving them"
-HB 5/5/09
Submitted by lara on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 12:09pm.
the parents do it all. I guess they could hire tutors, but I've never heard of that happening. i guess having the teachers version of textbooks with the answers is felt to be enough.
frankly I don't know too many people who could teach calculus at a hs level. *shrug*
no testing. NONE. shocking eh?
fairly certain there are no tax breaks either - you'd think with the money the gov's are saving from not having the kids in school that they could do some testing ffs.
ps your avatar makes my heart pitter patter
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Ohhhh my god, this is one of your best posts ever, Michael K. Hilarity! I can't even pick one thing because it's like a really long turd just loaded with hearty chunks of funny all throughout!
The more you know (shooting star) <-- dying!
I'm sorry...
What is this "biddness" that White Oprah is referring to...because its CERTAINLY NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS...
very very strange this home-schooled thing from what i've read here. don't the kids get tested? who verifies that those kids are taught things?and who does the teaching? i assume paid teachers right? and they have a teacher for every subject? cos in school there are a lot of subjects. interesting.....
she will end up dumb as britney. britney is the queen of dumbness.
Im confused as to what business she refering? Being on 24 hour suicide watch for her drugged out has been sister?
Seriously delusional stage mom party of 1 your table is ready.
Submitted by Team KFed on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 10:30am.
I know of two families that do it. One, I'm unsure of their motivations but they are dedicated to doing it well. The other is going to homeschool their two boys due to the crappy public schools where they live.
They've told me that there are no 'qualifications' needed, no testing is done on the children to ensure they're keeping up to the grade levels - nothing. There are materials available - curriculum, suggested readings etc but NOTHING is monitored. The only thing that happens is when the children write the tests to earn a hs diploma. I'm in BC, don't know if it's the same for the rest of Canada.
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Here's the funny thing about schooling, both at home and in the classroom: you don't actually have to show the kids learned anything, you just have to demonstrate that you SHOWED them the shit they're supposed to learn. Which means that Dina's just showing this little skank a textbook and flipping through it for five minutes a week, if that long, and then sauntering off for some coke and daughter-pimping. Soon they'll be boasting about how Ali got her GED (which a brain-damaged hamster could do in Cali) as if it were a master's degree.
Hey Dina the Whina, quit giving homeschoolers a bad name. Right next to giving mothers a bad name. What she's doing ain't homeschooling or even close to it, because that has the word "schooling" in it and Dina leaves that kind of stuff for the ugly people who aren't famous. Y'know, like her and her has-been daughter.
Not to defend them...but I think she refers to "Living Lohan" as being in the business.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Danielle and Kay Panabaker have BA and the were Home-schoolers, I get it if you're in the show bussiness there are other ways to get appropriate education, there is no excuse to be uneducated... Unfortunable I don't think Education is a priority for White Oprah, if you are not smart the money can run out really fast. Is Miley Cyrus on high school?
With such big parts as "Girl in Football Stands" and "Child at Airport" listed on her imdb page, I have to echo everyone else, what business is she in?? At least Lindsay had already done Get a Clue and Parent Trap by that age and might have had a tutor on set (not that it did her any good). We're talking about a mother who got upset that a club serving alcohol wouldn't let her 15 year old daughter in, so I think we can safely say that this kid is SOL for any chance at an education or a future in general. At least her older sister had a glimmer of a chance in making it with her career if she hadn't fucked it up over drugs.
With a mama like that teaching her, the best Ali-CaCa & The Snorty Thieves can hope for is entry into DeVry.
Or she can always be a CNA- Certified Nurses Ass!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by lara on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 11:06am.
what is this home-schooled thing? i think it's only in usa. i've never heard of such a thing
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We homeschool in Canada. We've been doing it for ages and ages. Well, if we choose too - it's not the most popular way to live, by any stretch, but widely accepted.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Just another waste of sperm waiting to happen. How long will it be b4 we hear her whining about how broke she is whilst riding around in her Ferrari...?
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Leaders dream and talk.
Subordinates plan and do...
what is this home-schooled thing? i think it's only in usa. i've never heard of such a thing.
On Topic - as has already been said many times already:
1) Trash
2) No way WO can possibly be teaching that girl anything, its either total bullshit or there's a professional tutor.
3) We're looking at the mother of all delusions if WO thinks Ali is somehow "in the business". If being part of whatever's left of your whore sister's pathetic "entourage" is being in the business, then there's a whole lotta people in the business.
i never saw her in a single movie/show. how is she in show business?!
i wish i could use that for a excuse every time i skipped school- "i couldn't come to school because i was out shooting my film" totally foolproof!
I can't even believe as a mother raising a child star who struggled with all kinds of addiction would even consider bringing another kid into the biz. She is a sick bitch.
White O - please, take that cross off. Don't disgrace the only thing I hold holy these days.
Thanks
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
And yeah, most people who homeschool SHOULDN'T. Especially the ones who are doing it to keep their children away from *gasp* the sinful world. I don't know what they expect. The kid's gonna have to go outside someday!
My favorite was the kids I babysat for who were homeschooled (yet i never really saw any evidence of this), didn't know how to deal w. other people (they were horrific brats), & had a wooden paddle on the wall w. a Bible verse on it! Also, the mom paid me in CHANGE.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:48am.
As a Red Sox diehard, I wish I could feel bad. But all I heard last summer was "Poor Manny got driven out of town by those mean old Red Sox." All that "I love LA" stuff coming from him was so phony it was sickening. I guarantee you, this will not be the last time he causes trouble for the Dodgers. Its too bad because I like the team. I like Torre alot, even when he was with the Yankees.
Everytime I see white oprah working hard to destroy another of her kid's futures, I cringe. Someone needs to take a baseball bat to her head immediately. Homeschooled? Hardly. More like "No-Schooled".
Since Ali WHOREHAN has no talent whatsoever (can't act, can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write, etc), and since her nutcase bisexual coke whore sister will soon drop into obscurity, she'll very soon be faced with the hard truth: you can't ride the coat tails of a has-been. What's she going to do then? With white oprah's "SPECIAL home schooling", she won't be able to get a GED or get into college. My guess is, she'll be sucking dicks & taking cum shots in the face on film very soon...
blah blab blah
First of all, I hate the phrase "the business". It's so pretentious-sounding.
Second of all, I almost feel bad for this chick. It must suck to have your mom trying to whore your talentless self out since birth.
Third, ditch the monotonal black hair! It ages you about 30 years!
Well, Harvard and MIT just breathed a sigh of relief that Ali's application won't be gracing their desks.
*It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.*
~Bill Hicks~
Trailer Trash.
"in the business"? Exactly what business is she in? Other than following her no talent sister around; the sister who is also "in the business"? These bitches need school. It is all they will ever have.
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"Ick. Nast."
It's not hard to guess this semester's curriculum at the esteemed, exclusive Hohan Academy for Girls:
Famewhoring
Snorting
Starving
Whining
Recess (Whining is exhausting)
Spray-tanning
Cocksucking
Someone needs to throw White Oprah into a vat of Drano and call it a day.
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
Submitted by Miss Priss on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 10:28am.
DG,
The caption this was funny! =-)
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Thank you Miss Priss! *blushes*
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 10:16am.
There are not many people who are smart enough to homeschool. I cringe everytime I see one of my old high school friends talking about homeschooling their children on FB. Not only does it seem to be all the people who were C students in high school but their posts are always full of misspellings and they seem to love to interchange your/you're. *shudders*
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This. So much.
Idiots shouldn't be allowed to home school anyone. Parent's should have to take classes and pass tests before they're allowed to corrupt their children's brain with the a distaste for literacy and an inability to do simple math. There's already a serious lack of critical thinking ability among adults, we don't need to set our youth up to be morons too.
DG,
The caption this was funny! =-)
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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get-NOFX
GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
Seriously, aren't there some kind of laws regarding this? Is anyone checking up on who is homeschooling this girl, if she is actually, you know, *learning* anything??
What is wrong with this woman? Her kid is 15 and it's clear she doesn't have *it* and isn't going to make any kind of a living in Hollywood. Does she not care that this kid isn't going to be able to do shit with her life in a few years??? Dumbass.
She should really be in school as much as possible, something tells me they arent a very bright bunch...school is going to really come in handy when the delusions disappear...If she skips out on school at some point she she is going to realize her only options are going to be a crappy 9-5 or porn.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 9:50am.
maybe she's going to join her sister in the "they're not my pants" club.
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LMMFAO!!!
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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get-NOFX
GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09