Kief Gets Charged
Kiefer Sutherland skipped down to the 1st Precinct in Manhattan today to shoot the shit, have a cup of coffee with the cops, tell a few jokes and then get charged for headbutting a ho. In case you have no idea what I'm babbling about, let me give it to you quick. A few nights ago, Kief brought his head down on Jack McCullough's nose at a bar in NYC. Apparently, Kief thought Jack bumped into Brooke Shields, so he was defending her honor or some shit. Brooke denies that Jack harmed her.
E! says that Kief was charged with one count of misdemeanor assault and will have to come back to NYC in about a month to face a judge. If he's found guilty, Kief could get up to a year in the chokey and a $1,000 fine.
Kief is currently on probation over in Los Angeles and the LAPD said they are investigating as to whether or not he effed that shit up. If he did, he could get 10 months in the clink on top of the 7 weeks he already served for violating his probation.
Kief should really use the Christmas tree defense. It will work! The judge will understand, because every knows Christmas trees are evil. Everyone also knows that Kief is batshit crazy. But if everything doesn't go Kief's way, the bitch will be making grilled cheese on a prison radiator for a while.
In the meantime, if Kief wants to rock the booze bottle until the break of dawn, he should probably stay home and do that shit. It will be better for everyone. Boozin' out in public doesn't really agree with him.
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I don't know why I feel forgiving toward Kief, but I say make him pay McCullough's medical fees and let him go. The guy definitely has enough issues for his own magazine.
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"If it were up to Fiona, she'd lock the toddlers in the church basement with a big batch of peanut butter cookies and a sack full of marbles and see who managed to make it out alive." ~~Sarah Dunn, Secrets of Happiness
Submitted by TCCB6869 on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:16pm.
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Easy on there, Mr TCCB6869. Keifer is mental when he drinks. Brooke Shields probably had the misfortune to be in the vicinity when he went mental. It's not clear that it had anything to do with her.
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This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.(Winston Churchill said this cuz my granny told me he did)
Maybe some hard time will bring Kief over to our team since we know how to suck a mean cock. Thats too bad about him I like him. Shit I'd fuck him. I hope he don't get fucked over bad he was defending someone's honor. Even if it was for the Unibrow from the 80's (Brook Shields). Come on! She didn't even stick up for him and its all her fault what a fucken bitch. He was trying to do a good deed and gets screwed for it. That really sucks. I never really liked "Lady Unibrow" I always sensed she was a two faced bitch from hell. I HOPE LADY UNIBROW LIKES HER NEW TITLE CAUSE THATS WHAT SHE'LL BE KNOWN AS FOR THE REST OF HER CAREER.
LADY UNIBROW SET KIEF UP This was all planned What a FUCKEN KUNT. I can see Lady Unibrow's new role as Shrek's mistress. Her mole was removed when she was a kid. She should of kept it because her inner beauty is really showing. I think she too needs the name of Ru Paul's plastic Surgen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmzUJLgG3sI
GRAVITAS!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA what a pretentious cunt
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Submitted by freebird on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:18pm.
LOL! I love that picture. He has the 'yeah, I headbutted a guy and he cried'
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LOL!
It's good they're taking him up on it...he needs a good spanking.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
"...If Kief wants to rock the booze bottle until the break of dawn..."
Aw, what a great Whispers reference! Thanks MK, I won't "Rock Steady" without thinking of Kiefer now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUgEoM9QbvY
Submitted by nclgemini on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:16pm.
I did not know they had a name. *licks bag*
LOL! I love that picture. He has the 'yeah, I headbutted a guy and he cried' smirk. And why does Brooke Shoulders end up in the middle of so many dramas by association? First Matt and Tommy throw down - now this?
I freakin love that everyone is just callin him Keif! I wish my name could be shortened to the delicious crystals that we find in our weed sacks :) Keif. Niiiice
Estrogen a-poppin!
Submitted by dirksunboy on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:08pm.
Why is he being escorted by the Face Transplant Lady?
He's waiting for someone to call her a monster so that he can head-butt again.
Why is he being escorted by the Face Transplant Lady?
HE WILL GET A 1$ FINE AND GET OUT JAIL FREE CARD, AND WE SHOULD USE HIS CELL FOR THIS WALKING DRUGGY WHORE BELOW FOR SPREADING EVERY STD KNOWN TO MAN AROUND THE GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA!!
Submitted by TCCB6869 on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:57pm.
Maybe some hard time will bring Kief over to our team
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He's a fighter not a lover.
"This doesn't call for hyperbole, or hyperventilation, or fancy.rhetorical.flourishes..." Alcee Hastings
Anyone who can tackle a Christmas tree the way Keifer can is OK with me....as long as I don't have to be in his car when he's driving.
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:55pm.
Looks like damn near every publicist I've ever seen.
^^^^^^^^
Shame. Makes one pine for anonymity.
"This doesn't call for hyperbole, or hyperventilation, or fancy.rhetorical.flourishes..." Alcee Hastings
Submitted by mike on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:55pm.
Submitted by snarkolepsy on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:51pm.
Who's the fugly bitchbag with a turned up collar?
Looks like damn near every publicist I've ever seen.
Eggzackerly. I was playing "Guess the Lawyers, Guess the Publicist."
jack mccullough = christmas tree...it's an easy mistake anyone could make, including keifer...
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Some people fight fire with fire. Professionals use water.
Submitted by snarkolepsy on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:51pm.
Who's the fugly bitchbag with a turned up collar?
Looks like damn near every publicist I've ever seen.
Kief needs to be the new rock of love bachelor.
"This doesn't call for hyperbole, or hyperventilation, or fancy.rhetorical.flourishes..." Alcee Hastings
I love Kiefer even though he has anger management problems. LOL he was 'defending Brooke' who threw his ass under the bus and said she hardly felt anyone brush by her.
This whole thing is so stupid and all because he defended Brooke fucking Shields!
I kinda feel sorry for him. I think he needs some rest and zen.
What a douche. And Brooke is like 6 ft tall, she could have just, I don't know, stepped on the guy.
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
Kief needs to go to residential rehab.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Who's the fugly bitchbag with a turned up collar?
"This doesn't call for hyperbole, or hyperventilation, or fancy.rhetorical.flourishes..." Alcee Hastings