Kief Gets Charged
Kiefer Sutherland skipped down to the 1st Precinct in Manhattan today to shoot the shit, have a cup of coffee with the cops, tell a few jokes and then get charged for headbutting a ho. In case you have no idea what I'm babbling about, let me give it to you quick. A few nights ago, Kief brought his head down on Jack McCullough's nose at a bar in NYC. Apparently, Kief thought Jack bumped into Brooke Shields, so he was defending her honor or some shit. Brooke denies that Jack harmed her.
E! says that Kief was charged with one count of misdemeanor assault and will have to come back to NYC in about a month to face a judge. If he's found guilty, Kief could get up to a year in the chokey and a $1,000 fine.
Kief is currently on probation over in Los Angeles and the LAPD said they are investigating as to whether or not he effed that shit up. If he did, he could get 10 months in the clink on top of the 7 weeks he already served for violating his probation.
Kief should really use the Christmas tree defense. It will work! The judge will understand, because every knows Christmas trees are evil. Everyone also knows that Kief is batshit crazy. But if everything doesn't go Kief's way, the bitch will be making grilled cheese on a prison radiator for a while.
In the meantime, if Kief wants to rock the booze bottle until the break of dawn, he should probably stay home and do that shit. It will be better for everyone. Boozin' out in public doesn't really agree with him.
Sugaroo - LMAO.
Nennycakes - Thats a freakin awesome story about Kiefer.
I dont care I still love him but he is a not nice drunk at all. Thats why he's been divorced as much as he has.
TEAM KIEFER A/K/A WEEFER
Submitted by nennycakes on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:41pm.
LIES ALL LIES!!!! :)
TEAM KIEFER!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:00pm.
^^^^^ TEAM KIEFER
Seriously, I'm all for fair justice and everything but isn't it a bit odd he spent a couple months in jail for a DUI yet Blohan and Nicole Ritchie got nearly NO time for practically the same charge? I find it interesting.
Interesting how Brooke hasn't come out to say anything.
It's because he's Canadian!
TEAM KIEFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
You skanks all know I despise "24" and I can't stand this drunken waste of Sutherland DNA, but...I think the other douches in this particular little farce were bigger douches than Kiefer himself, so as far as I am concerned, Kiefer wins this round of the great douche-off that is Hollywood.
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"I am a legitimate metalhead/rocker named Beverly." - Reality No Show
The woman with Kiefer looks like an older version of JT's (from Survivor) sister. She was on Survivor last night after the family visit reward challenge.
The woman with Kiefer looks like an older version of JT's (from Survivor) sister. She was on Survivor last night after the family visit reward challenge.
DVD Ripper for Mac
CHARLES MANSON
WELL HES IN A LOT OF TROUBLE BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS LIKE FELONY ASSUALT. IF HE HAD A FUCKING BEEF WITH THE GUY HE SHOULD HAVE JUST DRAGGED IN A BACK ALLEY WHERE NO ONE COULD SEE. OF COURSE HE WAS FUCKING RETARDED ENOUGH TO DO IT IN PUBLIC.
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:25pm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmzUJLgG3sI
GRAVITAS!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA what a pretentious cunt
I remember that interview. Yeah, he like to toss out (carefully prepared) Latin, but his life is anything but.
Submitted by nennycakes on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:41pm.
He sounds like a selfish, immature drunk. Anyone else would have been busted for public indecency and theft.
Evil Shoe: Jane and I are shaking our titties...granted I am built like a brick shit house and they STILL look like Twin Peaks....but our thoughts are with you.....
And the thought of Jane's titties over your head should make you throw up a little in you mouth....
Love, Blanche Hudson
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
@Evil Shoe:
*lights candles* *shakes titties*
(to be fair, I was gonna do that anyway:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:59pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:46pm.
LMAO thanks for the laugh, I really needed it!
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Let me know if you need another, I'll drop my pants.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
^^^^^ TEAM KIEFER
Seriously, I'm all for fair justice and everything but isn't it a bit odd he spent a couple months in jail for a DUI yet Blohan and Nicole Ritchie got nearly NO time for practically the same charge? I find it interesting.
Interesting how Brooke hasn't come out to say anything.
::"You backstabbing two-timing scallywag! And as God as my witness, I will never shampoo your hair again!" - Blanche Deveraux::
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:46pm.
LMAO thanks for the laugh, I really needed it!
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Dick happens! - MK
Farrah Fawcett may not make it thru the weekend. I'm off topic too, I know, if only there was an open post...
The documentary "Farrah's Story," co produced with her friend Alana Stewart, will air on NBC May 15th
http://www.monstersandcritics.com/people/news/article_1475769.php/Farrah...
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:43pm.
I'm going off topic - sue me.
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My attorney will be in touch, see you in court.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
FREE KIEFER!
Another Ho for TEAM KIEFER.
-Licks monitor-
Swoooon....
*It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.*
~Bill Hicks~
I'm going off topic - sue me.
I need you whores to light candles and shake your tittays for me tomorrow.
Two reasons:
1- I need this court case I am on a jury for to be DONE tomorrow, I have plans and I don't want to be there ALL weekend. Besides, I have to watch Star Trek with hot ass Simon Pegg this weekend!
2- (More serious tone) If the defendant is found guilty, he will face a mandatory life prison sentence. It's been hard on me this week - tears and all in the courtroom.
Thank you :)
My natural father is the same way. You don't fuck with him when he's drinking. Kief could've been talking to a cater waiter and would've had the same reaction. You just don't mess with him when he's (a) getting his drink on and (b) talking to someone. He's going to "be a man" about it and a fight will ensue over something inconsequential. This is one of those "shenanigans" Hekki was talking about the other day.
he's kinda exasperating
.
Not for nothing, but why does he have Katie Holmes in the main pic with him?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by nennycakes on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:41pm.
How can you not love him for that? It's like a child thinking you can't see them by covering up their eyes with their hands.
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That sounds cute....if he were six; but once they're get over 21-not so cute, for me at least.
However, I did like your story,.
Even if he is a wee bit (batshit) crazy I'll still let him tackle me ;P
_ Oh Sugar!_
(\/)
(O.o)
(>"<)
(_^_)
Submitted by nennycakes on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:41pm.
Good story, thanks!
Happy drunks are fun!!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Jacksonville, hello..."
TEAM KIEFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TEAM KIEFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am with you Kiefer , all the way!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
what a weirdo...
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/teacups-and-couture/
@nennycakes: You see, now, you're making me think he, somehow, believes he's living in a MASH unit.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
No way! Kiefer was in a bar?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by OXA on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:39pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:35pm.
If he's in jail, whose show do I have to not watch on Mondays?
HOUSE
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I can totally do that.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Sorry, I know this is a lot to post in the comments section, but I have to get it out. He stayed at hotel where I worked in the early-mid 90's. He gained a rep as a lush who did a lot of acting out in the hotel bar. The hotel was an Embassy Suites (I know, I know) which all have an atrium area in the center of the building. He picked up a girl one night and proceeded to have noisy sex with her in the atrium amid the plastic plants and bubbling brook, causing many residents to walk out of their rooms to observe him. He was gently reprimanded by the mgr afterwards and acted contrite & went off to his room. He then, later that night, decided to wreak his revenge by sneaking up to the main desk when it was briefly unattended and steal all the machines that we used to make impressions of credit cards. He took them, and in the ultimate act of calculated revenge, hid all the machines behind one of the wheels of his own car (which was the first car we looked under). He thought he was really sticking it to us and that we'd never find out where they went. How can you not love him for that? It's like a child thinking you can't see them by covering up their eyes with their hands.
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If you run, you'll only die tired.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:35pm.
If he's in jail, whose show do I have to not watch on Mondays?
HOUSE
If he's in jail, whose show do I have to not watch on Mondays?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Get out the vaseline! Here comes Kiefie.
Maybe Father Cutie can cure him of his rage.
I cry bullshit, Team Kiefer!
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"You can lead a whore to culture,
But you can't stop her from throwing a glass of vodka at it." -DEB
God, I love Jack, uh, I mean Kiefer!
If he's got anger issues, he can work them out on me. For real, he's hot.
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Dick happens! - MK
who's gonna save the world if jack Bauer is in jail? the terrorist will win dammit!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:07pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:05pm.
What do you expect from a guy whose name rhymes with "reefer"? Or, as Elmer Fudd would say, "Weefer".
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I expect him to lose a steel-cage match to Richard Simmons.
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Or my dead Aunt FiFi who is in the fifth year of her eternal dirt nap.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
If his father wasn't Donald Sutherland, I doubt Keiffer would have broken into show biz.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:05pm.
What do you expect from a guy whose name rhymes with "reefer"? Or, as Elmer Fudd would say, "Weefer".
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I expect him to lose a steel-cage match to Richard Simmons.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
What do you expect from a guy whose name rhymes with "reefer"? Or, as Elmer Fudd would say, "Weefer".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
This guy is an idiot, I say give him a life sentence.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:54pm.
Yea, let him be the first person charged with using a deadly weapon loaded with hot air
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Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:47pm.
Keifer headbutting a fashion designer is like Frank Sinatra headbutting Liberace. Keifer is as far away from a badass as you could get. What a pussy. Why not charge him with a hate crime?
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Keifer's head is so large, he should've been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
That bitch on the right looks like that facte transplant lady that's been on the news the past couple of days. And that is not a good thing.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
TV
Ilove you, and lick your balls, but stil...
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Fucka doodle-do.
Keifer headbutting a fashion designer is like Frank Sinatra headbutting Liberace. Keifer is as far away from a badass as you could get. What a pussy. Why not charge him with a hate crime?
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They should jail him just for making David Caruso look like a good actor.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
love him.
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Fucka doodle-do.