Braniston 2.0
Jennifer Aniston's ovaries are still hongray for baby batter (sorry, I hate that term too), so she went out to get herself some! The Susan Boyle of the Americas hit up a party for her movie Management at Table 8 in NYC on Tuesday night. Jennifer put her nose to work to try to sniff out the dude with the highest sperm count (she took a class at the Learning Annex to learn that skill) and it led her to Bradley Cooper.
Bradley and Jenny were both in He's Just Not That Into You. I don't know if they had any scenes together, though. I didn't see that wet piece of crap. Anyway, Page Six says that at the party, Jen was getting on Bradley like she was ready to conceive right then and there! A witness said, "Bradley and Jennifer were definitely into each other. She kept touching his chest and whispering in his ear."
Bradley and Jennifer left the party 10 minutes apart.
Yes, his name is Bradley, but doesn't mean ANYTHING. Yes, Jen probably made him say "Angelina Jolie is a fugly fat cunt with caca brains and a rotten coochie" before she let him touch her breasts, but that has nothing to do with anything. She likes Bradley for Bradley and not because his name is Bradley. It's also a good thing she might be hooking up with a Brad, because then she won't have to make that many changes to her "JEN & BRAD 4EVAHs" shrine. Less work!
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so why is anniston always 'dating' some cute closeted guy ? could she be a PROFESSIONAL BEARD ??
The more I've seen of Angelina lately, the more I think Jennifer has a much prettier face (and yet she's several years older).
Angelina has had too much work done on her face in the past few years -- her eyes are hollowed out and pulled way up, her nose is thinner and her lips are bigger than ever. While Jennifer's work is much more subtle. I think as they're aging, the devolution of Angelina's looks will become even more apparent.
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Heh. Time to bring out the turkey baster. I remember this guy when he was at the New School. He's as gay as a cocker spaniel. Lostsa luck Jen.
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Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.
Jennifer is the one who said many times that she wanted children. Remember the quote in Vanity Fair: "I never said I didn't want to have children. I do and I will." Or something like that. She said it and every tabloid has picked up on it since she insists on playing the eternal victim. She did this to herself. She's made herself pathetic. Nobody else did it.
Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:19pm
I agree. If she wanted them, she would have had them. Somehow I think it's more societies rules than what she really wants. Every reporter is constantly on her asking her is she's going to have kids. I don't think the mom's that pick up Star would be happy if she said "I don't want little brats running around my house fucking with my shit" or "fuck that I work hard to keep in shape, I don't want a fat ass, I'm 40 it'll be hard to lose".
She is best friend's with Sheryl Crow who I'm sure has assured her that adopting is cool and she must have lots of gay friends that would give her some sperm.
Submitted by putas on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:13pm.
Esposito dumped this hot piece b/c she caught him with a man.
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Got me thinking...Brad was just Jen's beard.
Explains why no babies since you have to actually have sex (don't give me that test tube BS, Brad didn't want his spawn living with the knowledge that they came from that spider cave from The Lord of the Rings.) Jen's lezzieness pushed Brad to the Medusa vagina of Angelina and his martyrdom. But Jen moved onto nothing but sexually ambiguous guys Mayer is just the latest. Most guys who (supposedly) fuck tons of chicks are compensating for their fear of acknowledging their own love of the peen into puckered glazed donut hole activities.
I honestly don't think Maniston wants kids. I kinda feel bad for her getting all this crazy press that she is desperate for them and jealous of brangelina. She is lucky she is single and can mingle and is not in the house with 8 screaming brats and a closet alcoholic boyfriend.
Im proably in the minority here but Im rooting for Jenny A. I dont find any humor in her being a lonely old cat woman.
I mean what is her deal? Third nipple, 8 toes, Imaginary friend named Bubba? There has to be some reason why every guy she dates runs like there balls are on fire when shit seems to get even semi serious.
Esposito dumped this hot piece b/c she caught him with a man. They were married for like 3 minutes. But yeah... oh well. So many gay hot men in H-Wood so not a big thing.
This looks like JA just having fun and he was one of the only cute men arms reach. And that picture is kind of annoying her hands look like a dog's paws begging for a bone.
All I can say is that Jennifer Aniston's manager or publicist needs to stop creating high profile contractual "romances" for her to keep her in the limelight.
It's wearing thin.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Submitted by skinhead ken on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 6:56pm
Agreed.
Wasn't Bradley Cooper married to Jennifer Esposito for like a quick minute? Something must have happened because like a few weeks later they filed for divorce. I always figured he cheated on her (how could you cheat on Stacey Paterno?).
Oh and MK I don't remember them being in any scenes together. I jsut remember he was the idiot that cheated on Jennifer Connelly for ScarJo.
What do Jen and RuPaul have in common? The same plastic surgen ..... HA!!!! If you want a kid so bad and don't want to ruin your figure do what Michael Jackson did grow it in a test tube and get a Suragote mother.
I so want her to get married, just so everyone will shut up. The media treated Gwyneth Paltrow this way during BP & JA marriage- until she married chris martin. Then everyone sort of forgot she even dated Brad. Which I really hope would happen if Jen married again.
Good for her she deserves a lay. You can tell that BRAD 2.0 is either a minute man or can go for long while ^_^
Go Jen. Get that dick girl.
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http://myspace.com/steph_the_ripper
I have to hand it to her...bitch knows how to get the mens....keeping them, on the other hand...she's not so good at that, is she? I think she needs to pull a Tina Fey in Baby Mama and just embrace singledom for a while. She can still have a baby. Being desperate for a man isn't sexy, Jen.
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
He has really nice teeth.
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100% DMBAS
M.K., that pic of Bradley is hilarious! I can see it unfolding already. He was married for a hot minute to Jennifer Espositio (love her).
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"I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday through Friday plane".
edited version of 'Snakes on a Plane' by Samuel L. Jackson
I don't understand the logic of some of these loons. If she wasn't fucking she'd be weird. She's a helathy single lady who can sniff out some good dick when the time calls for it. It doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes. Go Jen!
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Submitted by mslewis on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:33pm.
So, Huvane has finally found another desperate B-List actor to become the "boyfriend" of the always desperate Jennifer Aniston!! Good for him. It took long enough. She hasn't had anybody since Meyer dumped her after the Oscars. Now, Bradley Cooper can get his name and picture in the tabloids more and have a better chance of getting that "Green Hornet" role and Jennie can belong to somebody for awhile. Works for everybody concerned. And, just in time for Cannes and Jennie's sorry little indie picture "Management."
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Oh you f*cking loons with your conspiracy theories - give it a rest! Does it mean that Aniston is never allowed to date, marry, get laid, or flirt otherwise she's trying to keep up with the Jolie-Pitts , are you for real?!
Who gives a crap if Jolie/Pitt show up at Cannes together - that's a PR stunt in itself. It's called keeping up appearances for the sake of the kids. Yeah - they haven't been spotted together since the Oscars either! (aside from a staged photo op at the local stop n shop dressed to the nines).
By the way, Bradley Cooper does NOT need Aniston to improve his career. Seriously, are you smoking crack? The moment Jen even talks to a man, the men are accused of trying to advance their careers and Jen is accused of trying to get pregnant.
Your loon mentality is very creepy.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:54pm.
I have totaly admiration for peeps who can admit they don't want kids.
I have one of each, but I respect everyone who can honestly say they don't want kids.
that being said, I usually get guessed at being about ten years younger than I really am.
How you age, it's genes, caring for your skin, watching your weight, etc.
Look at Susan Boyle for Christ's sake. she never had kids, and she's the oldest, roughest looking forty seven year old I've ever seen. I could claim her as my mother and nobody would argue.
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If you're going to whip out the Susan Boyle card now you just won every argument from here to eternity! And I love Susan Boyle! You're right, how you age depends more on your genes and the care you take of yourself, however, single women have it a bit easier to keep their looks because they don't have the same obligations a woman with children has. I have seen gorgeous, young looking women from both sides of the fence so everything is relative.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:16pm.
I was preparing to remove my clothes & join Bradley in the tub, but as I was removing my panties, I noticed that he looks like a mouth breather. *pulls panties up & buttons shirt
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Kinda like her ex husband! lol
Haricane
how you age runs in the family... it really does. my great aunt died at eighty three and looked fifty. avoid the sun, don't be too fat or too thin, don't wear clothes that are to old/young for you, take care of your skin and hair. trust.
I posted a pic of myself last week, not going to do again, but believe me.
the last guy I dated was thirty six..
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Fucka doodle-do.
I liked him in wedding crashers...just the kinda guy I like!
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When incorporating food into sex, hindsight is 20/20.
it gets weirder when you realise that his ex wife is called jennifer...according to IMDB anyway.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:54pm.
Look at Susan Boyle for Christ's sake. she never had kids, and she's the oldest, roughest looking forty seven year old I've ever seen. I could claim her as my mother and nobody would argue.
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My gawd, you're right! Point taken!
LOL
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:47pm.
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:39pm.
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I know, kids, are wonderful but at some point in your life they do age you a bit. They make you look more mature no matter how hot your body is and how great your skin looks. It's in the eyes I tell ya! On the other hand, I do believe children are not for everyone.
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Aww. kids are alright! But you're right - I can barely take care of cats, let alone raise a human. You go Moms!
and i didn't choose not to have kids for vanity reasons - i just happened to find out about the effect of not doing so from a gal I met at work about 5 years ago. She said, "I know why you look so young! It's because you didn't have kids!" It was like an accusation. LOL.
I have totaly admiration for peeps who can admit they don't want kids.
I have one of each, but I respect everyone who can honestly say they don't want kids.
that being said, I usually get guessed at being about ten years younger than I really am.
How you age, it's genes, caring for your skin, watching your weight, etc.
Look at Susan Boyle for Christ's sake. she never had kids, and she's the oldest, roughest looking forty seven year old I've ever seen. I could claim her as my mother and nobody would argue.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Don't get me started with John Mayer. I can't stand his ass! The pitiful meowing he likes to call his music, is what horrid menstrual cycles are made from.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
I can't blame Jen for going after some hot dick. It's the American way.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
I've made my peace with the idea of worthless.... as my friends kids grow up and start to get in trouble and Westpoint slips through their status-clawing fingers. *evil grin*
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:39pm.
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I know, kids, are wonderful but at some point in your life they do age you a bit. They make you look more mature no matter how hot your body is and how great your skin looks. It's in the eyes I tell ya! On the other hand, I do believe children are not for everyone.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
I hate being worthless!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:04pm.
Good for her. This guy is hotter than Brad Pitt and a serious upgrade from John Mayer.
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O.M.G.
John Mayer is a beat rag. I do not have words to express my deep and searing loathing for him.
Submitted by mslewis on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:33pm.
It's a pattern, people!!! Bradley Cooper is not her new "love." He is her new purchase. Bradley Cooper has been bought and paid for.
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Does he have a brother that can be purchased with a layaway plan? Or what about a 2-3 day rental?
Submitted by Lory on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:31pm.
I see the women who don't have kids by forty are worthlessteam has arrived.
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*Guilty of not having kids by 40 or EVAH!*
The good thing about that is that you also don't LOOK forty. I was the dancing fool at a Cinco de Mayo thang and we sat with the old people (my age and older). The newly divorced tia to my left was about 50. When I was off dancing - by myself - she talks to the dh and they thought I was 28.
So there. Plus Octop*ssies 1 & 2 (angie and that other weird chick) are having the kids I didn't have. It all evens out in the end. I did my part and they did theirs. It's a win-win. They have kids, I have cats.
Submitted by chefcammi on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:36pm.
omg- anniston haters all the way!
lol
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simma down. we h8te brother-tongue-kissing angie MORE.
I see the women who don't have kids by forty are worthless team has arrived.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
omg- anniston haters all the way!
lol
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/7/09 @ 36w3d
So, Huvane has finally found another desperate B-List actor to become the "boyfriend" of the always desperate Jennifer Aniston!! Good for him. It took long enough. She hasn't had anybody since Meyer dumped her after the Oscars. Now, Bradley Cooper can get his name and picture in the tabloids more and have a better chance of getting that "Green Hornet" role and Jennie can belong to somebody for awhile. Works for everybody concerned. And, just in time for Cannes and Jennie's sorry little indie picture "Management." How convenient!!
Don't you people notice that every time Angelina and/or Brad are about to be in the news for a big movie, Jennifer comes up with yet another boyfriend? She got back with Meyer so he could take her to the Oscars, after which, he dumped her sorry ass. It's a pattern, people!!! Bradley Cooper is not her new "love." He is her new purchase. Bradley Cooper has been bought and paid for.
P.S.: When Jennifer Esposito dumped him she hinted at something being "wrong" and there were rumors of his being caught with someone other than female. Just rumors, I know, but there it is.
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:49pm.
I wonder if there's any truth to these stories of her being desperate and clingy?
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Do you believe the Richard Gere gerbil story?
Do you belive Tommygirl has super tall lifts in his shoes?
Do you believe that Madoona has had plastic surgery, but lies about it?
Do you believe that Joan Crawford flipped out over wire hangers?
If you answered "yes," then yes, she's clingy and crazy. SHE's AN AQUARIUS FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD. (the dh is an aquarius. i literally have to call a time out on together time. One day all day together is enough for me to want to choke him by the end of the day).
Hope I dint offend any Aquarians.
Persistent rumors seem to have a vein of truth in them....
Another guy to dump on and ruin, RUN BRADLEY RUN.
I like her! There I said it.
What's the big deal if she has a new bf? She's single, more power to her.
Her choices, however, leave much to be desired. This guy always gave me the child toucher vibe!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
jt
ugh, her again?? that picture is like a beginners Photoshop assignment marked: "What Not To Do". she is not now, nor ever has been sexy. and I wish people would shut their traps about her body being hot - the woman has never had a baby. get back to me after she does - if I'm still alive. at the rate this loser is going, she'll still be trying when she's 50!
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:46pm.
I cry foul. BradleyBoo is trying to up his profile so he can get signed to do this:
http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2009/05/bradley-cooper.html
He might have to give her some batter for this!
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So be it.
grab is sack and don't let go, Jen!
@Sluts...I saw the inner tube valve, I cracked on it early and hit and run...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Leaders dream and talk.
Subordinates plan and do...
Submitted by Hideous Amadeous on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:42pm.
i would hit him for sure and i juste haaaaaaate to be mean but that contrived sexy photo of jen makes her look a bit butterface
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ahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. "Butterface"
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:16pm.
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That Jenn is a desperate hag that has went through almost every man in L.A.; there are only two left....you and the man from today's "Would you hit it post". Those eggs aren't going to impregnate themselves.
The upside is that when she yells out Brad during sex it will not be a problem.
"Does anyone else smell astroglide?"
'Stewie' on 'Family Guy'