Yeah, What Did I Expect?

I don't understand Nicole Kidman's new commercial for Schweppes.

I mean, Nicole is supposed to be some wax alien creature in India who befriends Rubina Ali from Slumdog Millionaire. The two run off to some gazebo by the water where they touch each other's faces. Rubina is probably transfixed with Nicole's frozen mug, because it feels just like an empty plastic yogurt container. After that ridiculousness, Nicole runs off to her room while unzipping her dress. She runs into Bollywood star Argun Rampal in the hallway and starts to give him a kiss, but instead she shuffles off. When she's inside her home, she grabs a bottle of Schweppes, drinks it, says "What did you expect?" and then giggles like a dumbass. Cut to Rubina inside of the room giggling with Nicole. WHA?! Touching a child's face by the water? Turning down a hot piece for soda? Unzipping your dress for absolutely no reason? This makes no sense.

But the biggest WTF moment is Nicole drinking Schweppes without vodka, gin or even rubbing alcohol. Ick. Nast. Who drinks that shit straight up?!

VIA Jezebel

Posted by: Michael K

•

Nicole Kidman • The Mind Is Boggled

Submitted by Sandbitch on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:25pm.

What, no burp? Boring bitch. I wonder how Keith Urban is doing keeping his lips off the bottle, gotta be hard.

Submitted by TripleS on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:18pm.

Well I didn't expect to see anyone being able to drink a carbonated beverage without any facial movement. Perhaps that is Schweppes NOW with Botox!

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:17pm.

What a dumb fake laugh. I hate that hushed baby voice she's always trying to do nowadays. I miss the old "Dead Calm" Nicole, when she was this wild-looking, bushy-haired motherfucker....

Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:16pm.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:09pm.
Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:04pm.

Thank you, darling, I have no doubt. Unfortunately, I have somewhere I have to go, so can I take a rain check?

CHARLES MANSON
NO I CANT TAKE A RAINCHECK. I WANT YOUR FUCKING STORY NOW.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:09pm.

Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:04pm.

Thank you, darling, I have no doubt. Unfortunately, I have somewhere I have to go, so can I take a rain check?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

Submitted by Laurel on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:07pm.

What is this?!? And don't all of Girl-friend's wives have blisters or something? Hope the little girl was inoculated before filming this. Damn, here the Spaniards at least had the decency to throw in horses along with their small-pox. This is is absolutely nothing. The great white Nicole. Great role model for Indian girls and women.

Lynn Rothschild directed a lot of money into promoting Western luxury goods in India. Perhaps bitch is peddling the opposite of Sevin Nyne over there? Basically. Or maybe not. Either way, this ad is completely f*cked up. But that's just me.

"Buy this crap!" Ha.

Submitted by devilgirl on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:04pm.

The commercial was directed by Shekhar Kapur.

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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............

Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:04pm.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:01pm
CHARLES MANSON
THEIRS NO NEED TO BE SAD. TELL ME YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND ILL GIVE YOU THE BEST ADVICE YOUVE EVER FUCKING HAD. IM SERIOUS.

Submitted by mharker on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:01pm.

Submitted by prince_will on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:54pm.

But at least the goofy celebrity commercials don't take themselves so seriously. It's a TV commercial, not the epic film of the century. It's not supposed to take away from whatever program it's sponsoring.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 7:01pm.

Oh, CHARLES MANSON, I've had the most supremely awful night since I got home. I've been a damned tear factory. Thank you so much -- I saw your post about "FUCKING GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PROFANITY" & LAUGHED! Thank you!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

Submitted by mharker on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:57pm.

Did Baz Luhrmann direct this one? It reminds me of his Chanel commercial with Kidman: too elaborate and too long, although at least Chanel is a more dignified product.

I hope Baz didn't direct this, because I just don't get his fascination with this woman. I don't find her interesting.

Submitted by Green Is Good on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:56pm.

Nicole Kidman is now officially a caricature of her former self. If she planning on continuing her acting career, actual human facial expressions would be an asset.

I wanted to see "Australia", but even the trailer with her frozen, one expression mug (surprised!) irritated me no end.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:55pm.

WHO is that man? Did it just get warm in here?

********
J'aime ton dos quand tu dors sur le ventre
J'aime ton ventre quand tu dors sur le dos
J'apprécie aussi ceci côte-ci, mais remontre-moi
Cela côte-là.

Submitted by prince_will on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:54pm.

She does look beautiful in the ad. It's an odd ad, but it's ten times better than one of those super-crappy international commercials that other celebs do (aka Brad Pitt carrying the giant man in his arms or anyone with ArNULD Schwartznegger)

But i'm a giant Nicole Kidman fan, so it's hard not to like something she does. Lord knows it is hard to be a Kidman fan on DListed, but i love it here.

Speaking of Kidman and ads, her Chanel No. 5 ad with Bazzy Luhrmann makes the new one with Audrey Tatou look like total dogshit.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:54pm.

Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:44pm.

CHARLES MANSON
IVE ALWAYS FOUND INDIAN WOMEN STRICKINGLY ATTRACTIVE. IT WOULD BE FUCKING COOL AND SHIT TO GO TO INDIA AND CHECK OUT THEIR TEMPLES AND MARKETS AND PICK UP SOME OF THOSE CHICKS IN THEIR BRIGHT COLORED WHATEVER THE FUCK THEYRE CALLED. OH BABY.
**********
They're called *saris* Charlie.

********
J'aime ton dos quand tu dors sur le ventre
J'aime ton ventre quand tu dors sur le dos
J'apprécie aussi ceci côte-ci, mais remontre-moi
Cela côte-là.

Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:54pm.

CHARLES MANSON
MK, DONT PUT THAT THOUGHT OF DRINKING RUBBING ALCOHOL INTO PEOPLES HEAD. AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU IT IS HIGHLY IRRESPONIBLE. IT WILL KILL YOU AND IF YOU HAVE LITTLE KIDS READING THIS SITE THEY MAY NOT REALIZE IT.

Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:44pm.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:37pm.

The Ice Queen must need a paycheck if she's peddling soda pop.

Submitted by Candy on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:27pm.

Plastic. I see they put a good wig on her head. She should wear that all the time in public. It does wonders for her tight, powdered face.
蜘龍====================龍蜘

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Submitted by ms.martini on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:25pm.

Dduudeee!! I LOVE Schweppes.. I tried it for the first time about a year ago and now I'm hooked... I drink one almost everyday!! hahahaha!! Even that bad commercial won't stop me from drinking it!

Submitted by jpop on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:24pm.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. That guy in the ad is Arjun Rampal! He's a hot ass Bollywood actor. Fuck Nicole for invading my fantasies of him with this stupid schweppes shit.

Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:19pm.

This makes no sense.
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What did you expect? For her to say, real sexy-like: ONLY FOUR DOLLARS...?

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 6:10pm.

Submitted by jim on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:39pm.
FUCKING YOUR FACE UP WITH BOTOX AND BEING A CUNT===== GOING FROM FEATURE FILMS TO A FUCKING SCHWEEPPES COMMERCIAL WITH A BUNCH OF DUDES FROM INDIA WHO NO ONE FUCKING GIVES A SHIT ABOUT..CONGRATS NICOLE YOU LOSE!!

CHARLES MANSON
JIM YOUR GOING OFF THE RAILS AGAIN. THERES NO NEED FOR FUCKING GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PROFANITY. I THINK YOU WOULD BE BETTER SUITED JUST LAYING YOUR HEAD IN MY WIFES LAP SO I DONT HAVE TO.

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:59pm.

WTF? I wonder if Nicole agreed to this mess because her agent assured her that the commercial wouldn't even be seen in the US, like Conan's agent in the Bud Light commercial.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:58pm.

I have to admit I like Nicole, but WTF was that?
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!

Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:55pm.

I drink the Russchian one Schweppes has, vigin. It's surprisingly refreshing when cold.

This - http://img.dooyoo.co.uk/GB_EN/175/food-drink/drinks/schweppes-russchian....

********

Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.

Submitted by putsomestankonit on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:54pm.

What a lame commercial.

Submitted by xerquina on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:52pm.

no wonder Rubina's dad wanted to sell her. she touched the ice queen's face,bitch is tainted for life!

Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:50pm.

how can i get my 1 minute and 2 seconds back?...........*blinks*.......well, i'm waiting....
_____________________________________________
Some people fight fire with fire. Professionals use water.

Submitted by freebird on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:50pm.

Maybe they are advertising that it is now available in plastic bottles - who else makes you think about a plastic bottle besides Nicole Kidman?!

Submitted by xerquina on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:39pm.

boooooo to Schweppes(and no i didn't watch the commercial). I'm a Canada Dry type of gal.

Submitted by jim on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 5:39pm.

FUCKING YOUR FACE UP WITH BOTOX AND BEING A CUNT===== GOING FROM FEATURE FILMS TO A FUCKING SCHWEEPPES COMMERCIAL WITH A BUNCH OF DUDES FROM INDIA WHO NO ONE FUCKING GIVES A SHIT ABOUT..CONGRATS NICOLE YOU LOSE!!