Friday, May 1st 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Josi From Brazil's Big Brother 9
Josi, a contestant on Big Brother in Brazil, was walking in a fashion show held in a nightclub/auto-parts store when she kissed the catwalk with the back of her head.
Homegirl was walking around, thinking she looked cute, waving at everyone and BOOM! 0 to 90 degrees in seconds. Just like an ironing board!
And if you've ever wanted to know how many dudes it takes to get a Daisy Fuentes look-alike off the ground, you'll get your answer.
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My parents neighbor is older, retired and a bit overweight. He started having heart problems, so they gave him a bunch of medication. The doctor NEVER ONCE even suggested that he lose some weight. I think he switched docs.
Submitted by jim on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:16pm.
CHARLIE TELL ME WHEN YOU COME TO ORANGE COUNTY AND WE WILL GET FUCKED UP!!
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Hell, let us all know!!! That would be worth the cost of a airline ticket for sure!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Oh great. The ship sent us another Sawyer"
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:02pm.
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Damn girl, I am with you. I could talk about that shit forever.
Submitted by CRAZY on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:22pm.
Submitted by jim on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:17pm.
TO ALL YOU FUCKS IN THE STREETS..GO GET A FUCKING JOB AND IF YOU WANT EQUAL RIGHTS YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO WAVE THE MEXICAN FLAG ON FUCKING AMERICAN SOIL!!!!
Yah in Canada a week ago we had Tamils blocking downtown streets accusing the Canadian
Governemnt of aiding Genocide because we won't close the Sri Lankan embassy.
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Ha! That's funny. I heard about that. It's right around the corner from me and I din't even know!
I had to pass by there to get to work, in fact...I must have just missed it by a corner...
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
What pisses me off is seeing a medium-sized mother and her teenage daughter with a handicapped sticker on their SUV. I know these two and neither one is even remotely handicapped. Her husband also isn't handicapped. I work with him. Her FIL may have been handicapped, but he died LAST YEAR.
PSL ~ right on!
Before you know it, all these 600 lb whales will be getting handicap stickers. What a load of crap.
girl_Cheese- I was actually thinking that fall was a setup. I mean, they put a rug in the middle, she walks around it and WHAM. Maybe the guy in the orange shirt planned it..
that was quick! (the getting up i mean)
Stocky- right? that is such bullshit. shut your fucking mouth, and you'll be able to walk!
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But there was something about you (I want you to know), it brought a change over me (it's starting to show). I've got this feeling inside,Got to have you, have you, ain't no good to hide.
-Boston
Submitted by jim on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:17pm.
TO ALL YOU FUCKS IN THE STREETS..GO GET A FUCKING JOB AND IF YOU WANT EQUAL RIGHTS YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO WAVE THE MEXICAN FLAG ON FUCKING AMERICAN SOIL!!!!
Yah in Canada a week ago we had Tamils blocking downtown streets accusing the Canadian
Governemnt of aiding Genocide because we won't close the Sri Lankan embassy. Oh and get this they don't want do be known as terrorists!!! YOU ARE ON THE FUCKING TERRORIST LIST FOR A REASON FUCKSTICKS! And they toO were waving their flags! Fuck off you came to Canada for reason now assimilate motherfuckers!
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Wow, did you attend the David Caruso School of Typing? You type...just like..(sunglasses off).... David..........Caruso..(sunglasses on)....acts. BADLY.
-Team Valtrex
Migraine Sally & Crazy ~ LMAO!
Want to know what really pisses me off?
When I see some 600 lb. lard ass with a handicap sticker on their car. Where the F**k do they get off getting away with this??
Submitted by KD on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:40pm.
Why are those things so slippery, anyway?
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That's me out there early in the a.m., waxing the walk to a high gloss with a touch of frosty ice just to get my gleeful laugh for the day.
there's this guy where i dance (classes, not stripping) who has an artificial leg, It is FUCKIN RANK. omg i can't even be in the same room. i feel bad because he doesn't have a leg for god's sake, but keep that shit clean. ugh!
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by Stock Broker on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:12pm.
M.E. ~ overly obese sloppy people smell like a combination of moth balls, feet sweat and lentil soup to me.
They smell like toe jam, sweaty ass and blue cheese to me!
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Wow, did you attend the David Caruso School of Typing? You type...just like..(sunglasses off).... David..........Caruso..(sunglasses on)....acts. BADLY.
-Team Valtrex
TO ALL YOU FUCKS IN THE STREETS..GO GET A FUCKING JOB AND IF YOU WANT EQUAL RIGHTS YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO WAVE THE MEXICAN FLAG ON FUCKING AMERICAN SOIL!!!!
CHARLIE TELL ME WHEN YOU COME TO ORANGE COUNTY AND WE WILL GET FUCKED UP!!
bitchette - seriously! It's a huge house!
I know what the reason is, my parents don't want to spend the $$ in gas.
Ugh, I just got the quote for the job I surveyed on Tuesday. The cost has gone up $2k per cab. SHIT!
Where the hell is my boss to discuss this with.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:52pm
It's a quote from Team Valtrex. I must give credit where credit is due!
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Wow, did you attend the David Caruso School of Typing? You type...just like..(sunglasses off).... David..........Caruso..(sunglasses on)....acts. BADLY.
-Team Valtrex
Submitted by Stock Broker on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:12pm.
M.E. ~ overly obese sloppy people smell like a combination of moth balls, feet sweat and lentil soup to me.
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and they have Fritos bref
M.E. ~ overly obese sloppy people smell like a combination of moth balls, feet sweat and lentil soup to me.
@ Jim - I feel your pain our Boss was going to take us to lunch to Orochan Ramen - the spicy soup place in Downtown and because of the street closures we're not going anymore - sucks! the co worker was going to take the spicy soup challenge! (Man vs. Food) one. UUGHHHH!
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I think I need to give up porn for awhile...
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:08pm.
that really does suck! i hate when people think that you don't have to plan for and rearrange stuff, so that you can do things like that. what's wrong with grilling on the porch and eating in the kitchen? (of a million $ house)
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by jim on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:05pm.
ARE OTHER CITY'S HAVING THESE STUPID FUCKING MAY DAY PARADE SHIT OR IS IT JUST HERE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
CHARLES MANSON
JIM YOU FUCKER. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET FUCKING DRUNK TOGETHER.
The Fly - no, the worst are the big ole fat (obese) people that smell like shit. Literally, fecal matter permiating off of them.
LMAO! When stuck up, pretentious models fall, its always hilarious!
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:04pm.
are we measuring the height of our heels by the size of our breasts now?
what's teh ratio?
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Audry - That kind of shit happens all the fucking time with my parental units. My cousin and his wife JUST moved out here. They live up by SF so, what about 2 hours north of us. They have been down here THREE TIMES so far. Once in March for a combo birthday/welcome to CA. TWICE in April, one to have lunch with my Uncle and the other for Easter.
They invited us, at Easter to come up to their house this weekend for a family BBQ (they want to show off their million dollar mansion they are renting!) so we all made sure our schedules were clear and made the date!
Fast forward to earlier this week. I called my parentals, told them, suggested, that BH and I can borrow our friends big ole Ford Excursion, which would seat ALL of us, that way 3 cars wouldn't be going up and we'd save on gas. Well, Dad can't do that. He HAS TO DRIVE his own vehicle (smoke 49837249875 bowls before he gets there) so, no need for big truck.
Then yesterday, my parentals send out an email to me, my cousin and our uncle "Since weather seems to have rain on Saturday, it's looking rather wet. It would be best to postpone our family BBQ."
To which my poor cousin just said fine whatever to.
And, the rain, is supposed to be over by tomorrow morning, returning late Saturday night. Not some big storm, just rain.
PATHETIC!
ARE OTHER CITY'S HAVING THESE STUPID FUCKING MAY DAY PARADE SHIT OR IS IT JUST HERE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA???
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:59pm
Exactly!
And sometimes I can tell when it's a dirty old man. Which is worse.
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Help me!
I knew she was in trouble once she came on. Those heels were way to high for her big ass tits.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
What kind of "fashion show" was this? Looks like a gratuitous ogle fest with a semi-legit reason for being.
This reminds me of yesterday when I was feeling feisty and whalish and had been reading Cosmo in the midwife's office (still can't figure out why those crunchy earth mothers had that shit in their office) about men's secret thoughts about other women. So when Mr. Hekki made the obligatory comment about some slut on TV looking like a cheap tramp, I snapped:
"Yeah, but you'd still fuck her."
Which is why I CANNOT read those "women's" magazines. I really do not need to be reminded of what horny shallow pigs men are. It's going to take me a week to regain my image of Mr. Hekki as a nice person. Those magazines poison my perspective.
Oops, I just realized my budget is due in 10 minutes. No worries. I'll probably have it done in 5.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:38pm.
I hate to butt in here, but your parental situation sounds just like the kind of crap my in-laws pull. I feel your pain. Here's something to make you feel better:
Around Halloween of last year, SIL called and asked if we (husband, son and I) could get together with her, her husband, their three kids, FIL, and FIL's live-in girlfriend at our house for a Christmas Eve celebration. I said that yes, Christmas Eve would be fine because we did not have any major plans until Christmas Day and the day after Christmas. She said that was fine, and my husband and I took Christmas Eve off (yes, we originally had to work) to have that family gathering. It was all a go until...
Fast forward to Christmas Eve >>>
I cleaned the house and spent all day cooking a HUGE meal, Thanksgiving style, for dinner. Everything was decorated, and the house never looked better. I wanted to do something nice for the family, as we never seem to get an opportunity to catch up with eachother. SIL and BIL call at about 2pm, saying that they are going to be late, as they are stuck 1 hour away, STILL CHRISTMAS SHOPPPING. They have the nerve to ask US (remember we took the day off) to reschedule at another time! DH told them that I had cooked a meal specifically for the celebration (as we never get together, and I'm now reminded WHY) and that he thought it would be inconsiderate to cancel. They literally interogated us as to why we even went to lengths to host them there! DH told BIL that it was because THEY INVITED THEMSELVES OVER! DH also told them to pretty much do whatever, because we were over their asses at this point. FIL and future MIL show up, surprisingly, since they're usually the ones to give us Hell.
Anyway, they ended up coming at 7 o'clock that night, SIL burning up mad because she couldn't get her shit together enough to wrap her new Christmas presents for the next morning, and BIL proceeds to hit our best liquor like it's the last bottle on Earth. They stay for 45 minutes, bitching nearly the entire time about stupid crap. I'm glad they didn't stay longer, because while they were there, their three daughters broke our remote control, trashed the playroom (they're 14, 11, and 9...my son just turned 2, so all toys are SOOO beneath them *eyeroll*), and stopped up the toilet...WITH SHIT, LITERALLY!
So, there you have it. I'm still mad about it. Just remember, it could always be worse. :)
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Why do you ride women that look like men?! Why do you ride hippos?! *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
oh people falling never ever gets old.
The guy in the yellow shirt quite obviously rushed to help so he could cop a feel...hilarious!
*Studies show that depression hits losers the hardest*
The Fly - OMG! I hate that! Last weekend I was in line at the Deli, picking up a Sammie for the BH and this lady walks in to get in line behind me and she was basically fucking ON TOP of me. Every time I inched forward to get some space, she moved in closer. I finally turned around and said "Do you mind?" to which she looked at me puzzled.
Fucking retards.
I'm shocked. So, like, a Big Brother contestant is, like, AMATEUR?
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Help me!
Not to be mean or anything, but that was some funny shit.
Though now I realize that since I said that it will happen to me!
But yeah- props to her for keeping it cool.
Oh and MK...LOVE this line.
"0 to 90 degrees in seconds. Just like an ironing board!"
Nice Boobies ladies I on was on the other post and saw the chichi fever. TGIF everyone! I'm ready to get out of here, thank goodness we close the office early on Fridays! uugghhhh... so ready to go home.
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I think I need to give up porn for awhile...
And she fell again on the same event!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07qL-2W8KV0&feature=related
What a loser..
hahaha.. i watch that over and over again...
People falling is the funniest shit ever...but since I am a major klutz I feel bad laughing because I would so have done somethig like that...well with a better outfit atleast.
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And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
Submitted by CRAZY on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:24pm.
HAHAHAHAHHA...I LOVE your signature quote. HILARIOUS. my best friend LOVES CSI Miami and she forces me to watch marathons...
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And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
That was a fantastic, amazing, stunning fall. I'm impressed.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
@ migraine: i'm no clown fan either...we'll see how the nephew handles the situation...
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Some people fight fire with fire. Professionals use water.
Hahaha...always funny watching people bite dirt!
p.s. M.E. & bitchette...nice chesticles ladies!!! (cute shirts too, the both of ya...very spring-y)
Submitted by KD on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:40pm.
thats really funny. i can just imagine every one waiting to watch some unsuspecting person slip and bust ass in your kitchen! :)
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Blowing kisses at everyone while wearing busted Walmart denim shorts, a Forever 21 too tight Bebe top knock-off, and TJ Maxx clearance aisle Jessica Simpson stripper platforms never looked so good.
Submitted by The Fly on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:42pm.
I was just on ebay and Ryan Reynolds' nalgas I mean X-Men dog tags for Ellen's charity are going for over $1000. Fucking nerds.
~~~~~~~~ Ryan Reynolds! Now there's a hot piece.
( hi mama weeds you freak bitch stalker)
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
CRAZY-
people like that never get the hint. They just want you to like them.
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Help me!