Done It, Done It, Done It, Done It.....
Congressman Alcee Hastings of Florida got dirtay dirtay by reading a long ass list of some nasty fetish shit written by the author of a proposed amendment on a hate crime bill . That list sounds like a regular Thursday night for me. No, I wish. Actually, I don't wish. There's a lot of filthy R.Kelly approved shit (literally) on that list.
Although, I'm glad I know the fancy name for phone fucking now. I wish I would've known that when I was a teenager. When my mom asked me what I was doing with the phone for 2 hours in the bathroom, I could've just said, "Telephonicophilia homework, ok! Damn!" She still would've known what I was up to, but at least it would make me sound smarter.
Because of Alcee's (totally hot name) robust "hint of James Earl Jones" voice, it sort of sounds like he's reading Shakespeare. Alcee really knows how to make dirtiness sound like classic literature!
VIA TMZ
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Doesn't surprise me he was re-elected. Two words.
Marion Barry.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Submitted by Whatever on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 1:30pm.
Wasn't he charged with perjury once?
Convicted of corruption and perjury, then impeached from his federal judgeship. Apparently, that doesn't disqualify you from congressional office.
Wasn't he charged with perjury once?
I thought this fucker got tossed out for bribery or some such shit! Anybody know?
Submitted by KD on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 7:49am.
Sounds too much like a church sermon to me.
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Do you go to the Church of TOUCHerism? Can I come with?
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"This doesn't call for hyperbole, or hyperventilation, or fancy.rhetorical.flourishes..." Alcee Hastings
Sounds too much like a church sermon to me.
About 37 seconds in Alcee Dude starts burping up the thesaurus he ate for dinner last night.
"This doesn't call for hypberbole, or hyperventilation, or fancy...rhetorical... flourishes..."
This is how he hypnotizes his constituency. Fun guy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oc2kAgxi_8
toucherism...TOUCHerism!
LOL.
That's awesome. Gotta bookmark that vid as a fave.
i love the effort he is putting into pronouncing these terms. the clip was too short to grasp his speech, but from what i saw here, this guy kicks ass. looks like he stole the tie from an applebee's server.
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http://www.myspace.com/naervana
we are sawing off the very branch on which we sit.
CHARLES MANSON
EVERY TIME I HEAR HIS NAME I WANT TO THINK OF BILLION DOLLAR BABYS. DAMN THAT WAS JUST A HOT SONG.
Nite, Tiger
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Ok, skank wads, as much as I'd love to commit asphyxiaphilia and kleptophilia on each and every one of your whore asses, you know that others might object (PRUDES!) and MK can't legislut Dlisted love, so I must say "A'poo"...that's how a French scatologist says g'nite....*Dirty Sanchez double cheek kisses to all*....Don't forget me in your nightmares!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:41pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:30pm.
I'm all for Tigelilly-feelya.
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as long as you let me talk dirty to you about poo over the phone whilst I'm doing it...What? I'm a multi-tasker...my resume says so....Oh, and I'm also a 'people person'....*licking tiger chops*....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:58pm.
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TV, you didn't have to say what I already knew.
I will cherish this clip for all eternity.
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:55pm.
"Lapdance" got me into the nasty feet thread.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:39pm
I knew as soon as I wrote Dick & Jane that it was a huge mistake, but I was too lazy to type Jack & Janet over it.
How strange....I said "dick" and not one Canadian came running out of nowhere. That's usually the magic word.
That was just one big HUH? (Imagine that in the Britney Spears way from that clip the Soups always playing).
I was so lost I couldn't tell if those were real words. Dictionary my ass. Urban dictionary maybe.
"Mr. Speaker, we can't legislate love"
Rep. Alcee Hastings
classic
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:30pm.
I'm all for Tigelilly-feelya.
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:35pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:30pm.
Huh, you realize that this is the NC reading your comment; to us your comment is just a couple of philias & risms from being Congressman Hastings. We need a Dick & Jane explanation.
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My dick was nowhere near Jane. I got no splainin to do.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:36pm.
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Don't be flippin' me the bird, I was joshing you.
@Slutty:
I did think about that, achally;p, I figured I'd just roll with it and hope that the fact that I'm magic and he's not would make a difference:)
PS. Um..that WAS the Dick and Jane explanation!
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:30pm.
Here's what I think. I think we need to spend less time talking about what the "rules" are and more time teaching people that it's ok to like what you like, and don't like what you don't like and there's, actually, no reason to be angry at anyone for any of that...I think we could obliterate that whole conversation if we could teach everyone that simple equation.
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Huh, you realize that this is the NC reading your comment; to us your comment is just a couple of philias & risms from being Congressman Hastings. We need a Dick & Jane explanation.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:06pm.
I just read on Yahoo where a Saudi 8 y.o. was granted a divorce from her 50 y.o. husband.
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Finally some good news!
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
my eyes glazed over about 15 seconds in...
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Kris knows exactly what he's doing when he's "taking off your clothes and rocking your coochie with his" eyes. MK 4/29/09
I'm jotting his entire speech down. I figure I can use half of it whilst sprucing up my resume....Oh, like you whores wouldn't hire a telephonicophiliac scatologist with excellent toucherism skills....
I love this dude....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:18pm.
It's for this bill y'all.
http://www.thedenverdailynews.com/article.php?aID=4093
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Coolio. Thanks!
Here's what I think. I think we need to spend less time talking about what the "rules" are and more time teaching people that it's ok to like what you like, and don't like what you don't like and there's, actually, no reason to be angry at anyone for any of that...I think we could obliterate that whole conversation if we could teach everyone that simple equation.
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
what a dirty bird ;p
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:18pm.
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He had me at "Toucherism".
It's for this bill y'all.
http://www.thedenverdailynews.com/article.php?aID=4093
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Dick happens! - MK
After that whole laundry list of shit he says:
"Mr. Speaker, we can't legislate LOVE."
LOL
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Dick happens! - MK
I just read on Yahoo where a Saudi 8 y.o. was granted a divorce from her 50 y.o. husband.
So does this mean that Ophelia's twin is now banned, and what about Cornelia?
Um...could someone explain this to me like I'm 5...? But you know, like if 5 year olds were allowed to drink...
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
I wish the clip was longer, I would really like to know what that was all about because all in all I think Alcee Hastings is a jerk.
I think I'll go look at CNN.
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 7:43pm.
Alcee would know about crimes: he was impeached and removed as a federal judge for corruption and perjury. How he ever got elected to Congress I don't understand. I guess the crime thingies were just a misunderstanding.
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How he ever got elected? Wasn't that what he was explaining in the video? No? Cuz that was some HWAT TALK up in there....*fanning tiger self...*
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
What?
The hoff is confused.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Alcee would know about crimes: he was impeached and removed as a federal judge for corruption and perjury. How he ever got elected to Congress I don't understand. I guess the crime thingies were just a misunderstanding.
I now have my To Do list for tonight.....Rrrrrrrright on, Alcee!
My parents once had a Mexican yardman from Jalisco, and he rolled his r's to an amazing degree. It was almost like a lisp - a risp.
What the hell was that bill about again? He TOTALLY reminds me of one of my professors/choir director in college...love the "r" rolling :)
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
TOUCHERISM!!!
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Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
I'm loving his tie. It's like a piece of a Peter Max came to hang between his moobs.
And I am also loving his pronunciations. And the way he's rolling his "r"s. He's really mispronouncing a lot of these terms.
Very entertaining, though.
Politics! This is magic.
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