American Idol: How Fucking Shocking
It's time to put on your aluminum foil hats and discuss American Idol conspiracy theories! Last night, I was sort-of, kind-of, maybe drunked up while watching this mess, so it was a total blur. By the by, this is the way it was meant to be watched. The elimination episode of Idol is like doing sexy times with a fugly bitch you met at the bar. You don't know why you're doing it and you're filled with shame over it, but since you've already decided to, you might as well get as plastered as possible to ease the pain. The only problem is that when Danny Dorkey's "RDJ hit with the tard stick" face comes on the screen, I really can't control the barf nuggets from pouring out. They should throw a warning or some sawdust on his fugly ass face.
The only part I really remember last night was the OMG WTF WHY WHO HUH SHOCKING reveal that the unstoppable flying unicorn that is Glamberace was in the bottom 3 along with Kris Allen and Justin TimberMOLE. I really wasn't slapping my nipples out of shock, because I was waiting for the Idol producers to pull this fuckery out of their asses. This is some manipulative shit!
Shortly after Gaycrest puckered up his peen kisser and announced, Kris, The Mole and Glamberace as the bottom 3, he let Kris' sweet ass go back to safey. Then The Mole was finally burned off. That's when my eyeballs started doing calisthenics. Give me a break. They never said Glamberace was in the bottom 2, but the producers are trying to scare his crazy fans by making it seem like he was close to being executed. Some of the Glamberts might have been voting for Allison or Kris thinking Glamberace is safe, so now they are going to go back to punching it in for their precious rainbow prince. That means there will most likely be a Chokey and Glamberace finale. FIXED!
If Lens Crafters' favorite bitch wins this shit, I swear I will break into Simon's bathroom chambers and shave off the only thing that means anything to him: his titty fur.
And I have a question, why do I fucking care so much? I need to drink more, obviously.
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hehehehe...I hope the bitch Gokey will be OUT this week..the finale will be kind of boring, cause the only one that can possible make Big Gay Lion-run for his life was Allison and she is gone...
Glambert for the win and GOKEY can get an A for trying not to suck this week and leave A.I with some dignity...
Did it grow slowly throughout the season or did it just appear? Someone must crack the mystery of the mole!!
i love allison and want a glambert/allison the rocker finale..
but i'm not watching anymore anyway because I MISS ANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! I LURVE HIM
Submitted by HottieBoomBottie on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 8:44pm
Someone mentioned that to me and I looked back at it on my DVR. (I fast forward through all that crap)
Yes, you are correct. When they showed him during his audition, it didn't look like he had the mole.
I'm wondering if they somehow airbrushed it out for his audition.
Watch this youtube video with pics of people from the Louisville auditions. His pic comes on at around :21. No mole!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWqcyd83qFg
Every time I see Lambert perform I think of VELVET GOLDMINE.
It's the whole sixties LONDON Glam Rock thing....
That's what has Simon's fur all up in a bunch...he's old enough to remember.
and it's giving him that warm feeling...
I still think Jonathan Rhys Meyers would give Lambert a run for his money...
and if you don't agree or know what I am talking about, YOU NEVER SAW THE MOVIE!!
GET TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
O wow! You guys left all that TOOL up in here! They rock! Thanks:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Yes!! HottieBoomBottie, you are very perceptive! One of the first shots of Matt was sans mole. WTF???
Glamberace wins the whole shebang, he ends up on Broadway or Vegas. Glamberace goes home next week, he ends up on Broadway or Vegas. Sort of pointless. You don't expect him playing arenas?
This was a real nail biter! Even Brad was on the edge of his seat and not just so his feet would touch the floor, but because he really feared that it was curtains for Adam!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Did anyone else notice in the little "goodbye" montage to Matt that the mole wasn't there in the beginning?? Anyone??
Seriously, anyone who likes Adam over Danny is an idddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddiot..
Consider me fuckin' Willy fuckin' Wonka! This is my fucking chocolate factory! You got it? My factory!
"Submitted by sparkys nemesis on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 3:51pm.
I'm a Lambert fan who voted for Allison because I didn't wanna see her go. So next week, back to Adam. Don't ridicule Gokey; the cat can sing and I'm myopic, too. Glasses are cool. But about Matt. Are those judges nuts? He absolutely and unequivocally **butchered** My Funny Valentine. I could sing that song better than he did. Sure, he's a decent guy with a good voice but Paula/Kara go all gooey for him and I just don't get it."
PLEASE! The only reason why that fucker is still in the competition is because of his dead wife and sympathy votes. He also shouts his way through songs, too.
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
"Glamberace" and "Lenscrafter's favorite bitch." LOL. I don't like either -- funny enough -- my sister and I were talking about how Lambert actually doesn't push the envelope *enough*. Just enough to shock your granny watching Idol. Gokey -- I like the timbre of his voice but talk about 0 emotional connection with a song. Dude needs to wipe that smile he's always got and find his soul for real.
Alison's ok. Kris Allen's probably marketable. IMHO, Lambert and Gokey are only entertaining in this context -- American Idol. I can't imagine actually listening to them on the radio or on my ipod. But then I don't like that little Archuleta dude and can't even imagine who's downloading him and someone is!
A p.s. to my last post. Taylor Hicks gave a decent performance last nite but Jamie Foxx was fantastic! Even as a mentor...and as a singer/actor! Wonderful. But stop making fun of people who wear glasses. I've tried contacts but my glasses are way cool; acid green. Bought reading glasses at Barney's and then had an optician put in the powerful lenses I need 2c.
I'm a Lambert fan who voted for Allison because I didn't wanna see her go. So next week, back to Adam. Don't ridicule Gokey; the cat can sing and I'm myopic, too. Glasses are cool. But about Matt. Are those judges nuts? He absolutely and unequivocally **butchered** My Funny Valentine. I could sing that song better than he did. Sure, he's a decent guy with a good voice but Paula/Kara go all gooey for him and I just don't get it.
Sooo over this whole show. It went down when Taylor Hicks aka soul patrol won, make that Jordin Sparks too. Now add Kara judging, and it's just a joke. The best thing that ever happened to them was Carrie Underwood, and Kelly Clarkson.
You bitches talking Tool in an American Idol thread!?!?!?
SACRILEGE!!!! Maynard's cum stains are more talented than this lot squared!
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Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.
dramaqueen365247 on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 2:52pm
And i WUBS YOU TOO!!!
but but but but...it's Rock Week! With SLASH! C'mon, Alison, hard rock....
What's Kris gonna do? Metallica? Iron Maiden?
I suppose he could Sister Christian but ew.
Well, I can always hope and pray Chokey Gokey goes.
OVER HIM!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Adam Lambert has the same haircut as Kate Gosselin.
Bradi: God knows I love you (& your delicious cupcakes), but I disagree. I think Allyson goes next week. (Not saying she deserves to, but I think she will.)
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
"He deserves to win. Im intrigued as to see what kind of album he would make because hes the only one who isnt predictable. His voice is stunning I mean you absolutely can not doze off or forget his performance because his voice is so captivating..."
Erm, that's true, you can't doze off while he's singing because the sound is as irritating as a garbage truck beeping its fat ass backwards at 5 am on a Saturday right below your window. Adam MAC Counter Glambert is theatrical and cute (in flame-y way) and well-trained - - that is DIFFERENT FROM HAVING A GOOD VOICE.
As for the idea that he's "different" and therefore would produce a popular album, um, Taylor Hicks was different. How's he doing these days? The artists that have been the most successful that have come from Idol have been pretty pop-y / mainstream (even Carrie Underwears, though a country singer, is pretty mainstream - -not hardcore country). I think once you get into the other genres, there's not enough of a fan base watching Idol for the success on Idol to carry over. Emo rock fans, for example, are probably not glued to their tv sets to watch Glambert sashay around the stage on Idol. They're, like, writing sad poems and cutting themselves, and adding new depressing status messages to their facebook accounts.
Honestly, I think Kris would be the easiest to market. That's not to say he'll win, but he'd probably do the best out in the real world if he did win.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
Watching the results drives me batty because it's nothing but FILLER!! With TiVo, I literally can watch the show in 5-7 minutes & that's WITH the Ford "Pimp-mercial", the silly "you are......safe" shit with Gaycrest and MAYBE the song by Jamie Foxx. Otherwise...UGH!!!!
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Why in bronzer on the nutsack hell is she naked, but he's fully clothed? Take all them panties off, Zac!
Oh big woo about last night. Yes yes Adam was in "danger", GIRL YOU IN DANGER! but next week MUTHAFUCKIN' SLASH IS THE MENTOR!!!!
SLASH!!!!
I'll just say it now, buh bye Kris Allen.
My prediction.
Shut up.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
American Idol is too cheap to afford modern songs at least Danny (altho I hate him sooo much) called it when they gave him a bill for cleaning up the food fight they had said "why, as much money as this show makes?"
Submitted by luckycharms on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 1:36pm.
CHARLES MANSON
AMERICAN IDOL AND BRITIANS GOT TALENT IS FAKE AS SHIT. YA SURE THE SPINSTER COULD SING AND SO COULD THE LITTLE GIRL AND SO COULD 5 MILLION PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD. THERE ARE A FUCKING GODDAMN TON A PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH FANTASTIC VOICES WHO NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF FUCKING DAY. I LIKE SUSAN BOYLE AS AS PERSON AND WISH HER THE BEST OF HAPPINESS AND FORTUNE, BUT IT IS PAINFULLY OBVIOUSE SHE WAS PROPTED UP.
Spinster. LMAO!
They make it more obvious each year that this stupid show is even more fixed then we thought. I agree MK if that turd with the glasses wins I win puke also.
Jaime Foxx actually has a beautiful voice and can play the piano wonderfully. I have no idea why he did a song in that style.
I take that back. I have two teen daughters and if you want a hit song nowadays, you gotta have that fake voice shit going on.
Used to be only people like Britney, whose real voice sounds like shit, had to use that sort of voice changing crap, but it's all the rage now.
American Idle: How Fucking BORING. That should have been the title of post. YAWN.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 2:17pm.
I agree w/ most of this (although I thought Kris was the best of the night). Talented as he is, Adam's act has gotten a bit tiresome for me.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Seriously, WTF was that Jamie Foxx song.. that was pure GARBAGE.. what is up with that ultra retarded computer synth voice effect.
"Submitted by Falkor on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 2:10pm.
But hes been steller the rest of the season so whats your point.
He deserves to win. Im intrigued as to see what kind of album he would make because hes the only one who isnt predictable. His voice is stunning I mean you absolutely can not doze off or forget his performance because his voice is so captivating..."
My point is: While he's been good this whole season, he deserved to be in the bottom three because of his performance Tuesday night. And really, if he would just sing the song straight through without screeching, he'd be THAT much better. I'm tired of hearing it and would NOT buy the record if he included that in every track featured.
The best Tuesday night was Allison hands down and Kris Allen was 25 percent better than Glambert.
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
Adam is an awesome sing. He didnt suck at all, its the songs they make them sing. Let them sing modern songs.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 2:05pm.
Glambert sucked Tuesday. Seriously sucked. He was not good vocally at all. I swear it.
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But hes been steller the rest of the season so whats your point.
He deserves to win. Im intrigued as to see what kind of album he would make because hes the only one who isnt predictable. His voice is stunning I mean you absolutely can not doze off or forget his performance because his voice is so captivating...
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When incorporating food into sex, hindsight is 20/20.
I love this site. Friggin' hilarious
I am boring, I like Prison Sex the best!
Both the song and well..... never mind! ; p
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Glambert sucked Tuesday. Seriously sucked. He was not good vocally at all. I swear it.
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
They should stick to bird watching and restoring cuddlebugs M8!
American Idol's only purpose is to destroy music. When I hear Queen songs that were written by Freddie Mercury sung by some fucking idiot, my skin crawls.
EULOGY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s57FtD2HKLw
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I think I need to give up porn for awhile...
Mk I'm a bit disturbed by your hatered of Gokey. I don't possibly see how he can be more annoying than Glitterdust Fairy. I don't get this one.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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If it weren't for DVR's, I wouldn't be watching this show anymore. We fast forward through everything but the performances, critiques and reveal of who gets voted off. You can watch the entire two nights worth of shows in 20 or 30 minutes.
They do this every year around this time....have some big favorite in the bottom few. AI doesn't reveal the vote totals for each contestant or say the votes are tabulated by some respectable company, so they can and do whatever they want to get dramatic affect.
I think the bottom vote getter is thrown out, but I think they really play with the rest of it.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 1:56pm.
My favorite TOOL song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtmj8PN1i8Q&feature=PlayList&p=D4999224B2...
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Really you should complain. That website is always interfering with the show and its just wrong.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 1:52pm.
HAHA! Fighting over who jumps into the zapper first, no doubt!!! I'm with you!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
My favorite TOOL song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJp2fTTvIig
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Out. For A. Walk. Bitch.
I think autotune shoulod be outlawed mate. Adam and Eve it, you know, blimey!
I hate when Idol reaches this stage of the game & starts pulling out all the manipulation tactics to try to mess with viewers. Its so tiresome & predictable. I love Allison, but honestly dont care who wins as long as its not that smug fuck Dorkey.
HAHA!
Who wants to go deep inside the borderline with me?
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When incorporating food into sex, hindsight is 20/20.
I am going to complain to the mod at vote for the worst, how dare they!
That Jamie Fox performance was awful. I was embarrassed for him. Wait no I laughed cuz he is a d-bag.