A Crime Against Beauty, Elegance & Lucite: Part II
Why can't a lucite and crystal Pegasus swoop down from the sky and carry The Empress of Lucite off to a sparkly lucite kingdom in the sky where she will be safe from that beauty-hating monster who is always attacking her pristine face?
Earlier this month, Shauna Sand's husband, Romain Chavent, was arrested after he choked her fragile neck with his beastly hands! Shauna got away from him, but not for long. TMZ says that Romain recently bit her naturally luscious lips so hard that she popped and deflated. Shauna finally got a restraining order against him. TMZ says that in the papers The Empress of Lucite states that Romain "bit my lips as hard as he could, holding me down for 10 seconds, causing severe bleeding and cuts to my lips. He then spit the blood and skin back at me." Romain then held her down "suffocating me with his hands over my nose and mouth for 20 minutes."
How is Romain not marinating on death row?! A crime against Shauna is a crime against us all!
The Empress of Lucite should really go back to Lorenzo Lamas. He treated her like the beautiful lucite flower she is. They were the romance of their time! The stars and the moon aligned when they were in love. If they reunited, wars would end, children would stop crying and the world would be a wonderful place again.