The Sanctity Of Marriage Is Alive And Well: Part II
File this under: Why am I even wasting bandwidth on this hot-blooded douchery? Yeah, brilliant question. I'm just doing this crap to get it out of my inbox and into the compost pile where it belongs.
Yesterday afternoon, those of you that live in the Los Angeles area were probably wondering why the air smelled like a dirty tampon lying in a dumpster on a scorching hot August afternoon. The answer is simple: Heidi and Spencer got "married" in Pasadena for like the ten millionth time or something. Surprisingly, the activists that believe marriage should only be between a man and a woman did not picket this wedding! I mean, this was not a wedding between a man and a woman. Shit, it wasn't even a wedding between a human and a human.
I won't make you dry heavey with the details. I'm sure you just want to know if either a) they both turned into a pile of ass dust after kissing in a church, b) a flock of doves pecked their eyes out as they left the church or c) instead of tossing the bouquet, both Heidi and Spencer tossed their reproductive organs into a pit filled with hongray wolves. None of these things happened, because the world is a cruel and ugly place.
If you are really hating yourself this morning and want to see pictures, just google "I should be shot for googling this" and VOILA!
• 
the groom is in chains, but holds his head high. What an asshole.
Isn't he gay? Plus Heidi's only 22? Christ.
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
I wish those two douchbags would go away. I give their marriage one year.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:18pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:13pm.
Sure, cuz we all know your "cashmere" self will look all purty in your "silk" wedding ensemble....
( read...poly/cotton...and nylon)....
Aw, we wuv da widdle monkey...(even in Wal-Mart like attire)....What? What? I said you were cute and shit....Aw, Monkey! I mean really, what are your in-laws gonna think when the mother of the bride shows up in a dish towel??? You can't keep this 'cashmere' pedigree scam up forever, you know....
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*stirring an aromatic, delicious scented pot of zoo keeper entrails & throwing in a large leg bone* *rolling a few catnip blunts*
*putting little sock monkey hand behind ear* *leaning forward* Say what?!
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Er, I mean that exquisite Vera Wang silk taffeta one of a kind wedding gown looks all the more exquiste on a monkey of a 3-ply cashmere pedigree?.....*licking chops*...Not that you should necessarily settle for it...*licking chops again*....Do I hear Dior? *licking tiger chops again*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:13pm.
Sure, cuz we all know your "cashmere" self will look all purty in your "silk" wedding ensemble....
( read...poly/cotton...and nylon)....
Aw, we wuv da widdle monkey...(even in Wal-Mart like attire)....What? What? I said you were cute and shit....Aw, Monkey! I mean really, what are your in-laws gonna think when the mother of the bride shows up in a dish towel??? You can't keep this 'cashmere' pedigree scam up forever, you know....
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*stirring an aromatic, delicious scented pot of zoo keeper entrails & throwing in a large leg bone* *rolling a few catnip blunts*
*putting little sock monkey hand behind ear* *leaning forward* Say what?!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:06pm.
I'm sure you'll look amazing!
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*jumping off top of hamper into your arms* Manimal5! *sock monkey hugs & smooches* Taking a little break! Studying for finals...bleah!
ON T: I'm sure it won't be long before Heidi & Spencer will be pushing a baby stroller. It'll look like a poster child for Hitler youth. Creepy.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:05pm.
Oh, fuck! I'm gonna look prettier on my wedding day! Yes, I am! *little sock monkey nose in the air* *stomping off*
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Sure, cuz we all know your "cashmere" self will look all purty in your "silk" wedding ensemble....
( read...poly/cotton...and nylon)....
Aw, we wuv da widdle monkey...(even in Wal-Mart like attire)....What? What? I said you were cute and shit....Aw, Monkey! I mean really, what are your in-laws gonna think when the mother of the bride shows up in a dish towel??? You can't keep this 'cashmere' pedigree scam up forever, you know....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:05pm.
I'm sure you'll look amazing!
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Oh, fuck! I'm gonna look prettier on my wedding day! Yes, I am! *little sock monkey nose in the air* *stomping off*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
the temptation of uniforms-"Uniformmate.com"-bring together single members of the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, Police Force, and Firefighters, as well as civilians, veterans for friendship, love, romance, marriage and even more.
Dah monkehs...Dah monkehs...is gittin' marriehdededed....Awwwww....Dah monkehs!
o/t Twit and Twat deserve a slow painful death...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The nerve of Spencer!
I can't believe he's wearing white on his wedding day!
Awesome pix M.K!!!
Nothing like simian love.
Heidi Horseface & Spencer Douchebag only wish they looked this good.
------Seek40plus .C O M------
My friend recommended me a very wonderful place where 4O plus mature singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with.
These monkeys are a better couple then them.
I have already sent them a tank of oxygen as a gift so that for at least one moment in theirs lives they won't have to steal it.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Spencer's first acting job was in Harry and the Hendersons.....guess who he was!
Google Harry and the Hendersons...the likeness is uncanny!!
The pic above is better than their actual wedding photo.
how can they experiment with cuties like these and cats and dogs
in labs...shameful pharma and dod
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
How could Spencer get married? Was Prop 8 overturned?
Looks like the bride monkey is doing a reach-around.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
Wow, look at that pic. These two never looked better, or happier!
"A-Million here, A Million there, A-Millionaire, Tougher Than Nigerian Hair!"
Submitted by NaNoop on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 11:58am.
C'mon, Noop, teachers have to put up with enough crap as it is. I guess this lady was fed up with life.
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I think that Jiggy and I have spent too much time at Dlisted. --Clarisse
God bless you for not posting the pic of that mess, M.K. You're a decent humanitarian.
They make me gag with disgust.
When will their 15 minutes be up? It seems like forever...
Feel free to hate this couple, but when you read the source, it's clear it was smart promo. MTV filmed it and all kinds of youth-friendly entertainers attended. They're really just a version of Phoebe Price (famous for no good reason) with more money and exposure.
I just found out we have the trashiest and most awesome reality show running RIGHT in my own city! I would love to show it to you but you need a Canadian IP...you might have it there...Keys to the VIP...it's a dating game. It's like a short version of ANTM, with less training - they're supposed to read a book first, or something...but for dating...Its' fucking funny! Boys are funny!
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Submitted by trustalways on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 11:54am.
In related news, a teacher sends a kindergartner home with a big turd in his backpack, giving new meaning to the slur "fudge packer."
http://www.winknews.com/news/weird/43461127.html
Wow, that's crazy. Don't they do background checks on people they turn loose with little kids?!
That's fucked up.
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
In related news, a teacher sends a kindergartner home with a big turd in his backpack, giving new meaning to the slur "fudge packer."
http://www.winknews.com/news/weird/43461127.html
Well, if they picketed a monkey wedding, they'd be creationist racists on top of homophobic bigots. That's just too much to fit on a name tag.
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:34am.
What's with all these fame hoes getting married multiple times? Tom Brady and Jizzelle did that shit, too.
It's for the photos. And I also think the women are such bridezilla attention whores and they couldn't decide between two dresses and they wanted twice the gifts and MORE ATTENTION.
I swear, weddings should be fucking banned.
And who could forget Pam & KId Rock getting married all over the place like eleventy-eight times. STUPID.
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:24am.
Okay, since this is basically a meaningless post, I consider it open-post-ish...
What the fuck is this post all about from the last Shitney thread?
Submitted by Tiredofbeinsexy on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 12:51am.
Michael K first met my bf a few months ago and since then my bf has been nothing but abusive mentally and physically abusive because he beats his bf Emmanuel because he steps on his toes when trying to talk to homewrecker aids ridden Michael K
And among the sad games of cybering and nude exchanges these two are meant to be in a bareback aids ward together.
HOME WRECKER:
A person who takes a taken individual with the intentions of breaking up the relationship and creating a relationship of their own.
Meaning not a home wrecker unless the person in the relationship leaves for the other person.
___________________________________________
MK is a homewrecker? Did I miss something or do I need to wake up more?
I gots NO idea, but my first instinct said this is a bunch of nonsensical bullshit to get some attention or get people to give MK the side-eye. Talking about homewrecking and AIDS, it looks like someone is doing a shoddy job of just talking shit.
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:23am.
So, who are these monkeys anyway - Speidi's trainers?
Their (publicity) stunt doubles!
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:02am.
maybe their plane will crash on the way to their Honeymoon.
One can hope.......
Right on in to the Bermuda Triangle, please. NEVER to be seen or heard from again.
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
I seriously can't believe the level of attention these two asshats have managed to garner for themselves. They absolutely repulse me, they are actually pissing me off these days. WHY are we supposed to treat them like they even exist?! WHY?!
Please excuse my morning rant, but these fucknuts really get under my skin. The bar on celebrity-hood has been dropped tragically low.
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Looked at the cheesiest moments too; heaven help us all if they're this bad in private as they are in public...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
You are so funny Michael...picketers. lol.
Well maybe now that they're married no one will pander to them and quit taking their pics; what else is there to talk about as far as these 2 are concerned?
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:00am.
So glad I'm only exposed to these useless eaters (thanks, Germany) on DListed.
I'm glad my only exposure has been Dlisted and The Soup. All hail Joel McHale and MichaelK!
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Okay, so I'm into self-torture and decided to read the US article link...yeah, then I wanted more pain, so i clicked on their link that said "Heidi and Spencer's cheesiest moments"...oh my fucking GOD! I almost threw my laptop out of the freaking window...the douchebaggery is mindblowing...those pictures literally made me violent.
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** DRINK! It makes things suck less. **
I live in the area where these twats got married and my husband and I had the displeasure of seeing
"Spencer loves Heidi" sky written over Pasadena. Truly douchy.
PSL: Oh, goody. I knew there were more than I could think of.
I understand if you do a justice of the peace 5-minute ceremony in your jeans somewhere and then you come home and do a real wedding so that your relatives and friends can celebrate with you. Makes sense.
But these celebs are just ridiculous.
Submitted by Mother Superior on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:47am.
Submitted by cuntygolightly on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:46am.
i think he's very attractive, he could have a career in modeling or something, too bad he's such a douche...he's runway material
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Who? The monkey? I agree.
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haha no i meant spencer...he isn't bad looking at all...he just ruins it when he talks...
also he should get rid of heidi although they sort of go hand in hand...
Submitted by cuntygolightly on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:46am.
i think he's very attractive, he could have a career in modeling or something, too bad he's such a douche...he's runway material
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Who? The monkey? I agree.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:24am.
Okay, since this is basically a meaningless post, I consider it open-post-ish...
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Well, since it's OPEN POST, I'm watching "Dirty Dancing" for the first time. Anybody heard/seen Patrick Swayze lately? He was not looking as well as we would have hoped a few months ago.
= ^ . ^ =
i think he's very attractive, he could have a career in modeling or something, too bad he's such a douche...he's runway material
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:34am.
I just got married for the third time this week. Gimme prezzies.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
@Evil Shoe:
That post makes me giggle lots actually, for the sheer fact that, if you're going to try to bring gossip to a gossip site - you're going to have to do a LOT better than that! Yeesh!
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Evil Shoe-...and these are the Days of Our Lives.
I love how the male monkey has this look like he is pimpin'.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 10:24am.
Okay, since this is basically a meaningless post, I consider it open-post-ish...
What the fuck is this post all about from the last Shitney thread?
Submitted by Tiredofbeinsexy on Sun, 04/26/2009 - 12:51am.
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Sounds like "drunk posting" to me.
= ^ . ^ =
Hekki, I know! Salma hayek just had a second ceremony too! Gwen and Gavin did also, when they got married......*rolls eyes*
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“Does this trick shop at Jennifer Love Hewitt's favorite store: Big, Short & Delusional? "
-MK 4/21/09