The Hoff Takes Coachella!
When I first heard Amy Wino was going to shower her meth loogies all over Coachella, I was more than willing to fry my ass lips off to get a glimpse of her heroin shake. Then it was announced that America wouldn't let her in, so I put my coochie cutters away. And look at everything I missed!
I mean, I could have witnessed The Hoff doing gross mouth things with some kind of creature who may still have a nutsack dangling down below. Also, I could have marveled at Kate Bosworth attempting to eat a piece of pizza, but not quite getting it. Methinks the skinny bitch forgot how to swallow. Even Reese Witherspoon and her main homegirl were there drinking out of coconuts! Well, I think just Reese was. Jakey knew it was kind of cliche for him to be sucking milky liquid out of a long tube.
But for those of us that didn't go, it's a good fucking thing, because that skankwhoreuglytrampbitchcunt Wonky McValtrex was there to put the HELL in Coachella. Those poor fools who were within a 2-mile radius of Wonky engaging in illegal acts (i.e. tongue fucking her dildo boyfriend) better take a trip down to the free clinic before their pores start leaking toxic pussy fluids.
Here's more celebwhores at Coachella yesterday including Kristin Cavawhogivesafuck, Tara Reid, Evan Rachel Wood's doppelganger and the ghost of Kurt Cobain.
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Ditas skin is freakin amazing, its so unfair.
That dude Paris is with has a Coachella 09 shirt on.... The F&&K! He is THAT guy.
Lucy Vada! I loves university student who no spell grammer good in hope of getten' sugar daddy's. I'de be yours but i have no money and a vagina.
Side note: Is the dress code for Coachella low budget woodstock crackwhore?
wow aren't they all so damn KOOL!!!!
heheeeh, his fly is open.
Sorry Hoffman but you cannot pull off kewl. Your lady looks like she's going to porn Woodstock.
Dita von Teese looks like she's helping out at the church cookout in those photos. I bet she sleeps in full makeup.
Wake up MK! I need an open post!
Shit, the whores are still asleep. I'll be back after classes, I want to ask you guys about something. I swear it'll make your panties fall off reading it!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by lucy vada on Mon, 04/20/2009 - 4:15am.
Listen Lucy, there is so much grammatically wrong with your little spiel there that no-one would believe you were in school. I'd cut that shit from your presentation stat.
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Dick happens! - MK
Is Jake's fly open? Yum!
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"Today could be the day I'm mistaken for someone important."
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Most of the time I'm hanging on there with hot guys and girls.
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Submitted by BarbadoSlim on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 6:03pm.
I'm highly amused thinking of ALL these tools desperately calling their homosexual stylists begging to make them look like, they are "with it."
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Dude, you totally nailed it. Like you, it also cracks me up how these hollywood idiots can't speak without a script in front of them, or dress themselves without a gay stylist. I'M SURE the hoff really dresses like this in real life... NOT!
PS - his little hippy-dippy piece of ass chicky here needs to be encouraged to dress in as little clothing as possible. Fully naked would be greatly appreciated...
PS:Why are people in uniform considered sexy?join in-www.uniformmate.com-to seek the anwsers!
Submitted by mishmash211 on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 11:39pm
I questioned it earlier myself and was told that it's from babies past...in other news, is there some mandatory dress code for this thing that says you have to look like your clothes came from the Salvation Army or something? Just looks like it would reak to high heaven of BO...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Hel-lo? Does anyone else notice a baby bump on Reese Witherspoon, or is it just me?
The ghost of Kurt Cobain, LMAO!
I'm looking at that photo of Hoff and his date and playing the "what's wrong with that picture" game.
I finally figured it out, her head looks like it belongs on a much smaller person's body.
is there something wrong with myspace atm? i can't log on :(
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 10:59pm.
Night whores...
I love you more than the Hoff's trick loves his/her dignity....
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OR boobies! Nite, Tigerlilly!
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Night whores...
I love you more than the Hoff's trick loves his/her dignity....I love you more than that throw-away pizza Katie B didn't really eat...I love you more than the Keds Dita shoulda donated to a homeless shelter (along wif that horrible Olive Oyle dress! Oy, Popeye!)...I love you more than...well...gosh darnit...I'm gonna say it...I love you kids more than a Tiger loves Tofu...Lots more...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by justjane on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 10:29pm.
Dita looks like she just came in from hanging laundry on the line...and those sneakers? Awkward.
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Yes, and this whore DOES NOT get a pass for that. However, it is so horiffic that I just might have a mental block...THIS SHIT BETTER NOT HAPPEN AGAIN...EVER!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Dita looks like she just came in from hanging laundry on the line...and those sneakers? Awkward.
Submitted by paulapoo on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 10:10pm.
Is this dude ever unhappy? He just skips along in life, being David Hasselhoff. Even when he was filmed by his daughter all drunk on the floor, he was enjoying parts of a cheeseburger. He's got the key to happiness.
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I'm pretty sure that "key to happiness" WAS that cheeseburger...I mean, that looked like all kinds of deliciousness...
Oh shut up, you ho's was jelly hatin' over the Hoffmeister and his cheebu!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Is this dude ever unhappy? He just skips along in life, being David Hasselhoff. Even when he was filmed by his daughter all drunk on the floor, he was enjoying parts of a cheeseburger. He's got the key to happiness.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 6:53pm.
This is totally off topic, but this kid KILLS me. *wipes snot off of chin*
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OMG! And look at those dimples!
Crazy Courtney Love had better not get a look at Leto or she will be all over that shit!
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:23pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:19pm.
Yes! When I crush your hand...smile like you mean it!
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or there's more crushin' where that came from.....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:33pm.
It'd be classic if he rolled up in KITT, lights flashing, doing a donut into the gravel parking lot.
Sheeps! I can't believe that I actually watched the whole vid...I thought it funny that he seemed to be mocking himself though!
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:38pm.
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Yes! SO adorable!! My black heart melted when he said, "I live with my mum and my cat." I bawled like an idiot through the whole thing.
islandgirl,
That kid in the video is ADORABLE. I mean, even more than his voice, it's his gigantic personality and that cute face! It's one of the cutest little faces ever... those dimples!
coachella is far too cool for these hasbeens to hang out at...
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you see me, bitch....
It'd be classic if he rolled up in KITT, lights flashing, doing a donut into the gravel parking lot.
As in his hit vid "Jump In My Car":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DUZQsIfPhM
OK I'M NOT whoops i'm not sure who is in the main picture but i love that woman's outfit lol
what a collective waste of life.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:20pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:19pm.
...I mean, it's like she's saying through her fake smile and clenched teeth "Ohmygod. David, you are hurting me", and he's sayiing through his clenched teeth and fake smile, "Deal with it bitch, this is what you get paid for"...No?
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I dunno, dude - I keep getting distracted by "her" boobies;p
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She/he got a rack, don't she/he? I mean, I don't know what it's packin' down south, but up north? BITCH IS STACKED!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:19pm.
Yes! When I crush your hand...smile like you mean it!
*********************************************
Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:19pm.
...I mean, it's like she's saying through her fake smile and clenched teeth "Ohmygod. David, you are hurting me", and he's sayiing through his clenched teeth and fake smile, "Deal with it bitch, this is what you get paid for"...No?
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I dunno, dude - I keep getting distracted by "her" boobies;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
...I mean, it's like she's saying through her fake smile and clenched teeth "Ohmygod. David, you are hurting me", and he's sayiing through his clenched teeth and fake smile, "Deal with it bitch, this is what you get paid for"...No?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 9:15pm.
Is it just me or is Da Hoff squeezing that trick's hand just a leeeetle bit too hard???? Damn! Bitch prolly got some broke ass bones outta dat...
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That's why he gotta date Trannies - that's the only ones who can take it.
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Is it just me or is Da Hoff squeezing that trick's hand just a leeeetle bit too hard???? Damn! Bitch prolly got some broke ass bones outta dat...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 8:34pm.
I thought I'd seen those outfits before
The Hoff manages to make military camo look ghey.
@PSL and Anony73:
Mother Nature's good like that. She's all about an ounce of prevention being a pound of cure;) (or is that a pound of prevention?;p)
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
PSL> Yep, I'm poochy, too, and no babies here. Blah.
OMG, Reese looks preggers. Woo hooo!!! Love to see some Jakey spawn.
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Vagina: apparently it is a clown car.
I thought I'd seen those outfits before:
http://www.denimblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/124456__justin_l.jpg
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This place has got everything.
Ugh...Reese looks totally pregnant.
I have to say, Hoff's tranny-de-jour has a pretty nice rack. I wonder if he paid for it/them?
And TITS, I think he wore the knees of his jeans out when he was rolling around on the carpet eating Mickey Dee's or whatever the hell it was. Disturbing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l2y_glJew0
I want to die.
I like this music!
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When incorporating food into sex, hindsight is 20/20.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 7:50pm.
Hahaha. She probably ran to the nearest toilet bowl and gave that shit up.
Pizza really is the best junk food around though!
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Kate Bosworth is NOT WORTHY of that slice of deliciousness....You know that shit was just for the cameras!!! Bitch did not make sweet, sweet love to that SEXAY slice of heaven like she should have! She can't even LOOK at it! Bitch threw that creation from the Italian Gods away after the cameras stopped a'snappin'...or if she ingested any of it, she went to the nearest piss hole and Ralphed her guts out!
Me say no more givey decliciousness to skinny whores who don't appreciate it! NO MO'...Give that whore a cube of tofu, 1 green pea, a cup of green tea WITH NO CREAM OR SUGAR...and an emema...That's what that whore is used to, that what that whore really likes, so I say so be it...Save the deliciousness for those of us who can handle its SEXAY.....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...