Sans Fards! | Dlisted

Fards is a really hot word. I know it means cosmetics or make-up in French, but it sounds like a cross between a fart and a turd. A fart that accidentally produces a turd. A fard! Yes, I'm a dumb dumb American with the brain of an 11-year-old. Anyway, this post has nothing to do with fart turds!

French Elle has decided to do the unthinkable! They put Monica Belluci, Eva Herzigova and Sophie Marceau on their cover without make-up or any Photoshop trickery! So they say. They had to have used something! A tan colored Crayon? Maybe The Empress of Lucite stood near them and they soaked in her intense beauty rays. That had to be it.

Of course, they choose three ladies who are hot without all that shit. You know who I want to see without pounds of make-up and Photoshop? I want to see some JLo! Maybe some Xtina too! That's who I want to see! However, it might be impossible to photograph Xtina without make-up since I think the layers of bronzer on her skin are baked on permanently.

Source: Jezebel

Posted by: Michael K

•

Hotness • Why Are You Pulling My Dick?

Submitted by gnarlyone on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:48pm.

I never wear fards or leotards ;p

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:48pm.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:41pm.
Tiger, I could not give a flying fuck. Looks mean very little in the long run.
*********************************************
I'm not the one who needs that lecture, I'm not the one who is "lucky" enough to be SOOOOOOOO MUCH more beeyootayful than Monica Belluci...Nope, not me...and again...
And bitch, I'm watchin' you when you ride your bike...pacin'...pacin' I'll be wearing yo' TITS long before you be wearing my coat...

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:46pm.

Submitted by barelybeagle on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:34pm.

yes, she has very strong features.

one woman i can think of off the top of my head who looks better w/o make up is claudia black from farscape and stargate. her face and expressions are amazing - and she seems like a real hoot in real life too!

sissy spacek is another one.

frankly most women look better w/o makeup.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:44pm.

I'm old school. Gene Tierney, Kelly, Taylor. The standards are high. Monica just looks like crap in this makeup wearing, photoshopped photo. Nothing special.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:41pm.

Tiger, I could not give a flying fuck. Looks mean very little in the long run.

Like the old saying goes - a face you get used to; a personality you have to live with.

That said I would like a coat like yours - purely for warmth ya unnerstan?

And your head would look divine above my mantle.

Would it be rude to call dibs?

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito

Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:40pm.

ubmitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:31pm.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:21pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:16pm.

Mmmmm...insides...tasty bloody insides....mmmmm....
but yes, "good looking people" are very "lucky" to look so very much better than Monica Belluci...Gee, I wonder what someone so "good looking" looks like? Don't you????

===What is an innuit? Should I google?

Submitted by barelybeagle on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:34pm.

Submitted by Aamyko. on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:19pm.
utter Bullshit, yes models without make up!! oh the horrors! Let's see fucking Kim Kardass...whatever the fuck her name is without the help of photoshop and THEN we'll talk. FAIL.

Actually, I've seen pics of Kim Kardashian without makeup, and she looks really pretty. She would look so much better if she didn't insist on wearing ten pounds of makeup like she usually does.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:32pm.

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:39pm.

Not getting this pic of Monica. Looks like any chick from Brooklyn or Queens or just maybe...Ontario. Right Kizzy?

I think the appeal of Monica is that she's very attractive, but in an accessible way. She also radiates a certain maternal quality, which I'm sure some find comforting.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:31pm.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:21pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:16pm.

It's what's inside that counts. We all know 'good looking' people who are ugly inside. Eventually it starts to show in their face.

psst look who i'm talking to!!! - YOU know the inside is the best bit!
*******************************************

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:31pm.

Life lets you know when you are lucky. Strangers let you know and men, by never wanting to let you go.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:21pm.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:16pm.

It's what's inside that counts. We all know 'good looking' people who are ugly inside. Eventually it starts to show in their face.

psst look who i'm talking to!!! - YOU know the inside is the best bit!

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:16pm.

Sometimes I ponder on words and word play...
What is lucky? What is perception? Is one's perception of luck the same as one's lucky perception/deception? I want to know...

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:08pm.

Sorry to hear that, Tiger. I guess I just got lucky.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:08pm.

LOL at the tag: why are you pulling my dick?

*********************************************************
And then I said....I need a cold shower and a cigarette.

Submitted by duoajdofdggd on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:04pm.

I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___SugarmommaMeet.Com_____a great place for rich Woman to meet young and handsome man.............

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 9:00pm.

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:39pm.
Not getting this pic of Monica. Looks like any chick from Brooklyn or Queens or just maybe...Ontario. Right Kizzy?
*******************************************

I would kill and eat my own flesh and blood to look like Monica...

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by MyTwoCents on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:53pm.

Speaking of Frenchies, Monica bears more than a passing resemblance to Isabelle Adjani. Especially around the moufs.

http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/6124/ressemblance2ql1.jpg

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax

Submitted by gossipfan on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:52pm.

All these ladies look great. It's nice to see natural beauty on a fashion cover instead of all tarted up and photoshopped to boot. But I doubt this will ever happen again as too many celebrities are fugly without makeup and photoshop.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:47pm.

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:26pm.
The only French I need to know is this, "J'ai besoin d'un avocat"
*********************************************

You need an advocado? Pssht...you and me both. I'd kill for some Guacamole and chips up in here...oh and some salsa...Oooh and a margarita on the rocks, extra salt too, thanks....

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Funeral Guy on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:44pm.

They don't need any make up. All three are hot MILF's that I'd do with no regrets whatsoever.

Submitted by SallyLo on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:41pm.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:16pm.

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:11pm.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:09pm.
You know... it occurs to me that if you put cucumber slices on your eyes, and a few peanuts up your nose you could be a human bird feeder!
-------------------------------------------------

Or a Canadian citizen!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
*******************************************

So whatchu be if you put a cucumber up your vag and a few peanuts up your ass...I'm just asking...for no particular reason...*casually whistling...*

Sounds like a salad to me.

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:39pm.

Not getting this pic of Monica. Looks like any chick from Brooklyn or Queens or just maybe...Ontario. Right Kizzy?

Submitted by FireCat on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:35pm.

Damn, Monica Belluci is obsession- worthy HOT, and I'm a happily married woman.
☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻ ☻
"The man in the moon tried to fuck my sister!"

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:26pm.

The only French I need to know is this, "J'ai besoin d'un avocat"

================================================
"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:24pm.

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:21pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:16pm.
So whatchu be if you put a cucumber up your vag and a few peanuts up your ass...I'm just asking...for no particular reason...*casually whistling...*
---------------------------------------------

Uncle's NEW BFF!!!!!!!
*********************************************

Oh, Uncie A....*shaking all six tiger tits atcha*...Aren't you so cute????

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:22pm.

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:12pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:02pm.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:55pm.
"Sans fards" est meilleur que "avec farts", non?
***************************************

Oui, oui, madame...ou mademoiselle????

=========================================

"Oui oui" peut etre mauvais aussi!
********************************************

The extent of my French is basically this: "Sabine, Sabine Dupris, j'ai perdu ma maman"...It was from some HS French dialogue lesson on tape where some lil' itty bitty Frenchie lost her mommy and she sounded SO CUTE that I never forgot that sentence...

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:21pm.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:16pm.
So whatchu be if you put a cucumber up your vag and a few peanuts up your ass...I'm just asking...for no particular reason...*casually whistling...*
---------------------------------------------

Uncle's NEW BFF!!!!!!!

================================================
"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs

Submitted by Aamyko. on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:19pm.

utter Bullshit, yes models without make up!! oh the horrors! Let's see fucking Kim Kardass...whatever the fuck her name is without the help of photoshop and THEN we'll talk. FAIL.
------------------------------------------------
http://www.aamyko.com
Hot Music & Hot Cocks!

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:16pm.

Or a Canadian citizen!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
*******************************************

So whatchu be if you put a cucumber up your vag and a few peanuts up your ass...I'm just asking...for no particular reason...*casually whistling...*

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by fabuleijiasi on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:15pm.

.All these hot girls are found on_classymingle.com_They are looking for wealthy lovers with fake names... wanna be the next??

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:12pm.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:02pm.
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:55pm.
"Sans fards" est meilleur que "avec farts", non?
***************************************

Oui, oui, madame...ou mademoiselle????

=========================================

"Oui oui" peut etre mauvais aussi!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:11pm.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:09pm.
You know... it occurs to me that if you put cucumber slices on your eyes, and a few peanuts up your nose you could be a human bird feeder!
-------------------------------------------------

Or a Canadian citizen!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

================================================
"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:09pm.

Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:04pm.

Running off to stain my face with beets. BRB.
*

you're using the ones you picked out of your burger aren't you?

the grease will add a lovely girlish shine!

you so clever.

You know... it occurs to me that if you put cucumber slices on your eyes, and a few peanuts up your nose you could be a human bird feeder!

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito

Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:06pm.

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:55pm.
"Sans fards" est meilleur que "avec farts", non?
***************************************

Oui, oui, madame...ou mademoiselle????

*********************************

we're getting fancy up in here, are we? well pardon me for only speaking American!!

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:06pm.

SICKITTEN's picture
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:41pm.

'that' beach? which beach?

How do you manage to keep the rodent and bugs away from the smell of rotting vag?

edit - sorry typo! veg not vag!!

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:04pm.

Tits, not the 'beach' in Ontario but the beach outside of NYC and The Hamptons. Those beaches. Fire Island, not Thunder Island, my Canadian friend. You are from Canada, non?

Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:04pm.

Running off to stain my face with beets. BRB.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 8:02pm.

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:55pm.
"Sans fards" est meilleur que "avec farts", non?
***************************************

Oui, oui, madame...ou mademoiselle????

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:55pm.

"Sans fards" est meilleur que "avec farts", non?

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:54pm.

Sophie Marceau? Yeah.......I'd finger her.

================================================
"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs

Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:53pm.

omigod what has Sophie Marceau been up to since Braveheart? the bitch fell off the ass of the earth. Monica looks hot, no idea who the hell eva is but she has dog face.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:53pm.

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:43pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:34pm.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:19pm.
I've said it before, but I view anything more than a tiny bit of make-up to be OUTRIGHT DECEPTION.
*********************************************
I tend to view an "inflated" wallet or bank account the same way....The diff is, I can get free samples of make up....
*

oh tiger! YOU don't need makeup! I have a coupon once for a free sample of money from someone named milken, but it was expired.

ps there's a long blonde hair hanging out of the corner of your mouth....
***********************************************

Well, I don't have to worry about money...You see, a Nigerian prince has promised me a hefty sum of cash simply for depositing his generous check in my bank account and sending him a small percentage of that money! Imagine that! If I hadn't checked my spam folder, I wouldn't have even known about this golden opportunity....

Er, uh...re: the blonde hair...that could have been picked up anywhere *hack, hack...COUGH....spitting out bobby pins and barrets...*
er...Must dash!

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by bisou on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:49pm.

Monica looks like she could be Tina Arena's big sis there

but yeah I agree with all that say they are wearing makeup

---------------------------------------------
My bottom is a treasure house. -Stephen Fry

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:46pm.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:34pm.

oh tiger! YOU don't need makeup! I had a coupon once for a free sample of money from someone named milken, but it was expired.

ps there's a long blonde hair hanging out of the corner of your mouth....

cats vs dogs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob-OVUoJ1RM

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:42pm.

I can't remember who did this or in what context, for what reason, etc, but some whore who was a celebrity decided to have a 'girl slumber party' type thing with NO make up and it was filmed...There were some whores that took that shit seriously (I was particularly HORRIFIED by Melanie Griffith!)...but you know who showed up in full, imcredibly applied, ever so subtle MAKE UP??? Meg Ryan...She even had obviously flattering lighting when she was interviewed. (This was before she had all that HORRID plastic surgery). I remember thinking..."who knew Meg Ryan was THAT vain???" Pssht...famous last words....

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by SICKITTEN on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:41pm.

mharker, agree. Also Monica has dark eyebrows and lashes. Anyone can have the no makeup look for days by applying self-tanner, revlon's lash tint (stays on for 3 days) and beet juice for blush that stains the skin up to a week. You can stain your lips and cheeks with beet juice before going on that beach holiday. Henna can be used to apply eyeliner and lipliner for days on end.
Eating beets gives you an allover rosy glow, if you can stand the taste of them. I'm gonna put this shit up on my blog in the next couple of days to get people ready for the summer. If you do all of this semi perm stuff one day a week you can run around not wearing makeup and look natural all week.

Submitted by mharker on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:36pm.

Submitted by Gry on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 7:23pm.
Monica Belluci = earthbound Aphrodite

Really? I guess I just don't see it. I mean, she's beautiful, but there's nothing particularly special about her looks. Sophie Marceau has some character to her face that's appealing, but looks-wise, Monica Belluci might as well be Catherine Zeta Jones or Asia Argento.