Zombies Are After Woody Harrelson!
Mega bonghead Woody Harrelson got into a little tussle at NYC's LaGuardia Airport this past Thursday with a TMZ cameradude who wanted to get up into his life. Woody didn't feel like playing, so he grabbed at the dude and broke one of his cameras. The dude can be heard whining on the video from TMZ that Woody is assaulting him. Woody busted out of there and the cameradude called the police who took his report.
This isn't the first time Woody got down with a pap from TMZ. Two years ago, Woody was accused of choking a trick from TMZ. Woody is trying to get that case dismissed.
Yesterday, Woody issued a statement explaining what went down at LaGuardia:
"I wrapped a movie called `Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."
So that's why I like Woody Harrelson!
You know, don't zombies usually attack bitches with brains?! They were going after the wrong ho, because Woody smoked up his brains years ago! And Woody needs to watch more zombie movies. You don't attack their asses! You go for the head! GO FOR THE HEAD!!!
This is just another reason why weed is a beautiful thing. It makes you say hilarious shit like this!
• 
Those TMZ hags are always shouting out stupid shit. Any person in their right mind would mistake them for zombies. Woody should get some kind of Nobel Peace Prize award for trying to eradicate these morons from the face of the earth, one camera at a time.
Hmm..Seems he's heading to unchartered territory, much like Joaquin and the new Billy Bob!
keep hittin the pipe... your makin total sense to all of us.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
This could quite possibly be the greatest thing I have ever heard. Thank you Woody Harrelson.
This is THE bong hit of the day!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Bong Woody > Intrusive, self-righteous pap-fuck
If only Woods had laid the fucker out cold, this shit would've been truly historic.
I kinda like him after this.
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The New Improved Wyle E
"Here was a special needs seal swimming directly into their mouths!", MK 11 April 2009
Woody is a moron.
Put him on a hemp raft with Billy Bob, Joaquin and Hohan.
Dude..back away from the bong.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
THANK YOU Woody.. Ive been sitting quiet and patiently waiting for the day that someone in Hwood with the cojones would pimp slap those annoying little mosquitoes @ TMZ ..
BRAVO!
" See there?....You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls
Woody, if you love me, you'll let me eat your BRAIN!!!
was startled by a paparazzo who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."
I LOVE this! I think all celebs who are bothered by the paps should start using this as an excuse to deck them!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 9:55pm.
Damn, imagine how he would've lost it if he had seen Amy Winehouse in the airport!
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Checkout Woody's red nostril area and cokey eyes.
Methinks Woody had better act fast before Amy packs him in a pipe.
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 8:43pm.
Submitted by SeH on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 7:46pm.
Who wouldn't take a swing at some camera welding asshole taking pics of you and your daughter walking through a public airport?
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But on the other hand, who gives a shit about this douche? What has he done lately that would garner ANY attention??? Yeah, this bullshit was set up by him so's that he can have some media attention to either promote something or sell a tabloid story. Sorry, I refuse to acknowledge this douchetard is still relevant...
Well the paps could be a real pain in the ass...especially if you're just trying to get through the airport with your daughter....but as far as relevance goes....a Foghat concert would be more relevant.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Based on Woody's comments above, I think I'll give up drinking and start smoking the wacky weed. If it makes you sprout shit like that, it must be fun.
Lord knows my mom has been smoking it for 3 decades now.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Damn, imagine how he would've lost it if he had seen Amy Winehouse in the airport!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 9:48pm.
Hey, Joe! HAHA. My hemp days are (almost) over. Barley is the weed of choice for me these days.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Woody ain't no Goody Goody two shoes
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Submitted by Mr. President on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 9:45pm.
Zombies are the stoners of the monster world. If Woody really thought the paps were zombies, he would have asked them for a joint.
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Hahahahha...that sounds like kind of a stoned thing to say. You been smokin' some of that whacky 'baccy Mr Prez? Of course you wouldn't be inhaling.
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Shine on you Crazy Diamond
Zombies are the stoners of the monster world. If Woody really thought the paps were zombies, he would have asked them for a joint.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Awww Hell.....Woods, don't you have any teefus left??
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Submitted by SeH on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 7:46pm.
Who wouldn't take a swing at some camera welding asshole taking pics of you and your daughter walking through a public airport?
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But on the other hand, who gives a shit about this douche? What has he done lately that would garner ANY attention??? Yeah, this bullshit was set up by him so's that he can have some media attention to either promote something or sell a tabloid story. Sorry, I refuse to acknowledge this douchetard is still relevant...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
wow, i would've totally gone off on that douche-bag pap if i was in the same situation. you think he will get very far with his claim in the courts?... considering that on video you see him consistently following woody and pretty much begging for a beat down. it's so obvious he went after woody for some quick settlement cash possibly because everyone knows woody doesn't play around with paparazzi.
his statement about zombies is awesome though. the paps and zombies are pretty much the same. woody is awesome and he is a great actor.
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...so i drank one/it became four/and when i fell on the floor/i drank more..
-morrissey
What was that movie he was in in the 80s with Goldie Hawn?
Peep my blog, y'all will love it!
http://muchbetterthanworking.blogspot.com
Who wouldn't take a swing at some camera welding asshole taking pics of you and your daughter walking through a public airport?
TEAM WOOOOODY!
Hahahaha..I love Woody. I guess the dopey bartender on Cheers wasn't such a big stretch after all.
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Shine on you Crazy Diamond
Woody need an intervention if only cuz the pic above has me thinkin' "NOW SQUEAL LIKE A PIG"
I'm not feeling the Appalachian mountain man hillbilly chic shit he's tryna pull off. Even BillyBob Thorton never tried that mess...Either he goes full on Phoenix or he washes that ass-rapin' inbred hillbilly look off his face cuz it ain't cute...and I ain't kiddin'...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I. LOVE. WOODY.
I'd go tokey with him anytime....
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"Hang yo pussies out, motherfuckers!" - Michael K.
I like him and he can act.
"he pushed me in my eye"
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:16pm.
Submitted by miffed_33 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:09pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:48pm.
Can I ask u a personal OT question?
On topic all my kids love that movie Shaun Of The Dead!
It's not about zombies, is it, because that would be on-topic?
nah its not but I don't think I wanna ask it now- I chickened out!!!
Zombie, zombie,zombie
Submitted by miffed_33 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:09pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:48pm.
Can I ask u a personal OT question?
On topic all my kids love that movie Shaun Of The Dead!
It's not about zombies, is it, because that would be on-topic?
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:48pm.
Can I ask u a personal OT question?
On topic all my kids love that movie Shaun Of The Dead!
I love that statement. The paps are blood sucking zombies.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
For a stoner, he's quite smart. He made up something that on the spot, explaining his d-bag behavior, so he wouldn't come across as a total d-bag himself.
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Submitted by paulapoo on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 3:54pm.
Zombies don't have cameras.
A zombie photog would!
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
I question the sanity of paparazzi who go after a hard ass like Woody instead of say, Mandy Moore. He scares me even at a distance of two thousand miles.
I met Woody recently at the Claremont Lounge in ATL, where I think it's being shot at. He was a really nice guy, just chattin up with everyone while watching old ugly strippers dance.
Zombies don't have cameras.
Something tells me that Woody is not a fan of regular bathing.
At least he used "paparazzo" (sing.) correctly, which might sway the court toward leniency.
He will need to modify his comments a little. Judges and courts don't like to be mocked.
I've never done weed (no interest) but he seems relaxed enough. Maybe just a touch too much....
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 3:05pm.
Eh, don't be sorry. I am lazy enough without it!
Must do the opposite w/Woody, he seems energetic enough to beat a pap.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Zombies, paparazzos, all the same.
I can see that he blends in just fine with the rest of the Zombies.
"Doing my thing with an '89 swing"
...CHA CHA CHA
@Devilgirl: I'm sorry, I thought you'd had a ready & reliable source out there. I'd send ya some General Delivery if I could. Everyone smokes but me over here. I'm like the uncoolest kid on the block, sadly. I WISH I could smoke the wacky tabbacky but it just makes me janky and paranoid. You KNOW my drug of choice/backstory...Which we'll NOT go into!
what? beating paps at the airport? that is kanye's thing. he owns that shit. i'm waiting for the blog.
woody needs to stick to beating zombies with cameras on the street.
Totally understand Woody's mistake. I see that it could happen to anyone.
Those damn zombies can get on your nerves buggin you in a public place like that. *sigh*
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:52pm.
I'm jealous! I feel like I am in rehab! Haven't had any of the wacky tobacky in ages, which I guess isn't such a bad thing.
I just hate having to deal with the people I would have to in order to get it!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............