You Know Where This Is Going.....
At the Berlin Zoo yesterday, a crazy lady decided to take off her shoes and pay Knut a little visit! It was polite of her to take off her shoes before entering...
The 32-year-old loontardian, who was visiting the zoo with her husband and baby, broke into the polar bear enclosure during the perfect time: FEEDING TIME! Why are people stupid? Why?
When the crazy bitch finally got in, she seemed like she was filled with happiness as she swam towards one of the older polar bears. Knut was not around at the time, because he was doing a photo shoot with Playgirl or something. Now, I don't know what kind of craziness was swirling through that bitch's head while she swam towards a hongray polar bear. Maybe she thought it would be like the cartoons and they'd skip off together into the fake icy tundra. Obviously, that didn't happen.
The polar bears must have thought it was their fucking birthday! Here was a special needs seal swimming directly into their mouths! It didn't take long for them to begin biting at the bitch! When the kook realized the polar bears were gnawing at her instead of showering her with welcoming kisses, she began swimming towards safety. Some of the zoo workers tried to get the bears away from her while others hoisted the heifer up the wall with a lifesaver. The first time they tried, the lifesaver broke, but eventually they got her ass up there. The woman was taken to the nearest hospital where she was treated for bites to her arms and legs.
Nobody knows why she decided it was a good idea to try to play with the polar bears, but I think I know why. It's because she's FUCKING CRAZIER THAN FUCKING CRAZY! Let's be serious.
I think she also might be stalking Knut. Knut needs to look into taking out a restraining order against that nut!
Below is video of her rescue and also some pictures of her getting bit by a polar bear. Maybe he wasn't trying to eat her ass. Maybe he was getting kinky with her?
Wenn.com (Thanks Sabrina)
ShareThis
Throw her back in, let evolution run it's course.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by juni on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:38pm.
Verrückter als fucking crazy! Die Bären sollten gegessen haben ihr butt--the bears should have eaten her butt--it looks like it was padded with lots of blubber--the main source of fat for polar bears.
plz tell me did I really learn ANYTHING in my German class at school?????? Morgan=morning, Tag=day, arben=afternoon??? unsure of spelling!!guten=good????
Just because we're trying to save the polar bears, doesn't mean they love us...at least, in a non-food sense...
I want to learn German. I have almost NO use for it, living in the part of Texas where I live (there actually are German-founded communities in TX), and should instead be brushing up on the five years of Spanish I took but don't use. But I still want to learn German. I'm not sure why. I just find it an interesting language, what little I know of it.
Or maybe I just like Oktoberfest. Ein prosit!
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Submitted by kate773 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:40pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:36pm.
Holy shit, I totally lol'ed at this.
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Then my work here is done.
*putting rubber gloves back on*
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Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
Hey Devilgirl! You still lurkin' around? It's your old friend 'Leash... Sent ya some mail.
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:37pm.
Cocktails and appetizers at 6:00. Be there or be square, little lady.
♥♥♥
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Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
After they finish patching this stupid whore back up in the hospital, she needs to go to jail for trespassing. I just cannot believe how dumb some people are. It shocks me.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:36pm.
Holy shit, I totally lol'ed at this.
On the bright side, not eating this lard-butt is better for the bears' cholesterol in the long run. She's definitely not the "good" kind of fat.
Verrückter als fucking crazy! Die Bären sollten gegessen haben ihr butt--the bears should have eaten her butt--it looks like it was padded with lots of blubber--the main source of fat for polar bears.
Mrs. K.,
Oh my god. I've always hated cake, but I LOVE flourless torte! You're always making the most delicious foods over there.
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:31pm.
I agree! Frankly, for the fucktard that he was, he didn't deserve to have anyone risking their lives to collect his remains, and those bears did not deserve to be shot to death.
There are no more Marlin Perkins' in this world. If you truly love animals, you leave the wild ones the fuck alone! Observe from a distance and don't
infiltrate their territory. Morons.
Frankly, this dumb bitch deserved to haveher fat ass eaten.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
This is freakin' Obama's fault.
http://www.alistz.net
A pissed off chimp will rip your face right off.
True story.
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Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:32pm.
You rang, my little lovebug?
I just made a flourless bittersweet chocolate torte and I'm hoping that it doesn't fall apart when I try to "apply" the glaze. Keep your fingers crossed!
MUAH
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Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
Her husband told her they were like dolphins! "Go ahead honey... they love swimming with the tourists..." hahahaha!
Look at that dumb ass smile on her face. And she had children! fuck...
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Yea these aren't cuddly Teddy's like me, theyre wild aminimals who have no problem eating you. It's their nature, they're freaking bears
Submitted by mslewis on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:25pm
The Crocodile man didn't bother me as much. Yes, he was a media hound and an attention whore, but I do think he was truly trying to get attention for conservation. He grew up in a zoo around animals like that and I truly feel that he would be doing what he was doing regardless of whether there were cameras there or not.
I just think the Grizzly man was trying to ride his coattails to fame. Remember when they showed him ranting and raving near the end, right before he got eaten? The guy was fucking nuts.
Submitted by mslewis on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:25pm.
Madam S, I agree about that "grizzly man" getting what he deserved. He was a truly awful person who aggravated these poor animals by invading their territory and, according to him, becoming one of them!! What poppycock. Truly he deserved to die. Don't know about the girlfriend. I felt sorry for her but she was stupid to follow him. He made me as angry as that crocodile man who was killed by the stingray (or something). I just know he aggravated that fish until it couldn't stand anymore. These kind of people make me mad. Wild animals are not pets and should not be tampered with. You cannot become one of them. They don't want nor do they need you!!!
Yep i agree with u, Steve Erwin would have aggrevated that ray because it was his 'nature', that's why they have never shown the footage of the'before, during, or after(& I am Aussie). I always thought why not?????
Mrs. K.!
This reminds me of the scene in Ron Burgundy, when he falls in the bear pit. I loved that stupid movie.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
@Falkor
Yes, there were a lot of GIs there. I was in Bonn just before the Capital moved to Berlin. It was really funny actually b/c I used to hang out with several hot Swedish Au Pairs and the GIs would take us out all the time b/c they had loads of cash and we were broke b/c we were paid peanuts. We hung out at the Marine clubhouse a lot, they had a full theatre there. Really nice guys actually, but not exactly the brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree.
It's fairly easy to get a job teaching ESL there, especially since many clients want to learn from a North American speaker so they don't end up speaking with British accents. You just have to know English grammar well, or learn it.
Common sense is the genius of humanity - Goethe
devilgirl,
I know... he continued to harm the bears even after his death. Ridiculous. They should have waited until the bears shat him out and then they could have collected the rest of Treadwell's crappy remains with a stick and kept it in some Tupperware.
i agree w/ dallas!
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:22pm.
I imagined the bears later lying around feeling sick going "Ughh... I SO shouldn't have eaten that".
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"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
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Um, um, Look to the cookie Elaine. Look to the cookie.
Guten tag, sluts!
I saw that Grizzly Man movie and was happy he wound up as bear scat, like he wanted. Too bad his girlfriend got eaten too. Oh well, now they can't breed little dumb babies, so I guess it was natural selection at work!
Natural selection. They should have left her in there that dumb bitch. WTF was she thinking? Wait, she wasn't..
I live in a part of the country with buffalo fairly close by...it never ceases to amaze me when tourists want to take a picture of the kiddies standing by the buffalo, and feeding and petting the buffalo (I actually should say "bison"). Buffalo are born pissed off, and they are huge and muscular. They love to toss you around like a beanbag. THEY ARE WILD ANIMALS...LEAVE THEM ALONE!
Submitted by mslewis on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:25pm.
He made me as angry as that crocodile man who was killed by the stingray (or something).
I think it was the perfect ending for his life.well, it should have been better if he was eaten by a Cocodrile. I did love his accent though
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Happy Easter everyone!
This ignorant bitch needs to be banned from every fucking zoo on this great earth. There is NO excuse for ignorancy!
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:18pm.
I would love to see the documentary. I was just reading a bit about the incident and what pises me off is the killing of the bears during the search and recovery phase! The bears were only doing what it is in their nature to do. Why do they have to be killed in order to procure the remains of two self absorbed media hounds?! I always hate when wild animals lose their lives because they kill fucking idiots who are bugging them in their own habitat~
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
I feel no sympathy for that woman whatsoever. Zoos take all these precautions to keep idiots safe and then they expect people to save them when their 'brilliant idea' goes to shit. Should've given the bears an early Easter present and left her in there to fend for herself. I despise people like that...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
This post is extra apropos because I'm going to see Neko Case tonight, and she's written songs about imprisoned animals that attack, eat people, or go insane, and then how we act all shocked and kill the animals which were just doing WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.
Madam S, I agree about that "grizzly man" getting what he deserved. He was a truly awful person who aggravated these poor animals by invading their territory and, according to him, becoming one of them!! What poppycock. Truly he deserved to die. Don't know about the girlfriend. I felt sorry for her but she was stupid to follow him. He made me as angry as that crocodile man who was killed by the stingray (or something). I just know he aggravated that fish until it couldn't stand anymore. These kind of people make me mad. Wild animals are not pets and should not be tampered with. You cannot become one of them. They don't want nor do they need you!!!
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:09pm.
I saw that, madam. I was rooting for the bears by the end.
Submitted by mcnightmare on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:17pm.
"ich bin eine idiot."
I am an idiot?????
Submitted by mslewis on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:18pm.
They would have been killed because people believe once a wild animal has tasted human blood they will always attack humans to get more.
so, Polar bears are like Hanibal? we Humans think we are something special don't we?
Whoever said that should talk to any of the survivors of the Chilean accident in the 70's they said Human Meat taste just like chicken but worst.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
@supersteph
were there alot of american GIs there when u were there?
How do you get into teaching ESL over there?
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I like that boom boom POW.
Them chickens jockin my style.
Submitted by SuperSteph on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:14pm.
woops, sorry Sheeps, my bad. I should have said "Another fat German tourist in Berlin".
Submitted by Falkor on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:04pm.
What were you in Germany for?
I moved there as an Au Pair, hated it and quit and then taught ESL and business English to German professionals for 3 years. Good times! Love that country! I'm not German, I just like their chocolate, porn, and beer ;-) (but none of that gross overly kinky German porn, that's just nasty!)
Guten tag, Dum Kopf! (Good afternoon, moron)
Anyone else want me to translate anything?
Kopf is head as in shwartz kopf-black head-the shampoo brand, and tag is day- afternoon is arben-guten morgan-morning, tag-day, arben-afternoon.
Teddy and No Words,
Exactly. He was so uninformed and uneducated and SO annoying and dumb. I can't even imagine he tasted good to the bears, he was such a tool. I imagined the bears later lying around feeling sick going "Ughh... I SO shouldn't have eaten that".
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:18pm
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I didn't see the Grizzly Man movie, but my brother did, and he said by the end of the movie, you will be rooting for the bears. Major league idiot depicted. Much like this post...I wish the bears had et'er.
It would have been great for this fool to be eaten by the bears but not so great for the bears. They would have been killed because people believe once a wild animal has tasted human blood they will always attack humans to get more. The zoo workers would have been in danger. I don't believe that but then, I'm no expert on wild animals.
Anyway, this woman is not the first idiot to try to "play" with wild animals. Unfortunately, it happens more often than you think. Out West (in the U.S.) people try to play with baby brown bears all the time in the wilderness not realizing that the mother will kill anybody who touches her baby. There have been some sad killings over the years.
devilgirl,
It was absolutely infuriating to watch. I was so damn grumpy by the end of it. Especially because some people were trying to sell him as good intentioned and an "activist". When the bears ate him at the end it was the Hollywood happy ending I had been hoping for.
The soundtrack was nice, though.
Madam S, I saw that and was shocked at what a douche that guy was. He was only concerned at getting famous and dude got what he deserved, he was borderline retarted
"ich bin eine idiot."
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you want to go somewhere beyond going to keep senses apart
you tried to get where you belong leaving behind parts of your heart
Submitted by miffed_33 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:08pm.
No, I hadn't seen your post, but I recall Col. Klink saying that.
woops, sorry Sheeps, my bad. I should have said "Another fat German tourist in Berlin".
Submitted by Falkor on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:04pm.
What were you in Germany for?
I moved there as an Au Pair, hated it and quit and then taught ESL and business English to German professionals for 3 years. Good times! Love that country! I'm not German, I just like their chocolate, porn, and beer ;-) (but none of that gross overly kinky German porn, that's just nasty!)
Guten tag, Dum Kopf! (Good afternoon, moron)
Anyone else want me to translate anything?
Common sense is the genius of humanity - Goethe
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:09pm.
I had heard about that fool. Serves him right to be served up as a meal!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Hell, I am even skeptical to close my eyes at night when my cats are around. I sometimes feel they are all conspiring to make me their next meal.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
If you want to get really pissed off, watch the 2005 film/documentary "Grizzly Man". They describe it as "a devastating and heartrending take on grizzly bear activists Timothy Treadwell and Amie Huguenard..." of which it is not at all. It is a look at a ridiculously obnoxious self-indulgent idiot named Timothy Treadwell who not at all had the welfare of grizzly bears in mind but rather was hellbent on stalking and tormenting the bears until (FINALLY) they ate him. Amie Huguenard was his extra stupid girlfriend who got eaten with him... because she was extra stupid.