You Know Where This Is Going.....
At the Berlin Zoo yesterday, a crazy lady decided to take off her shoes and pay Knut a little visit! It was polite of her to take off her shoes before entering...
The 32-year-old loontardian, who was visiting the zoo with her husband and baby, broke into the polar bear enclosure during the perfect time: FEEDING TIME! Why are people stupid? Why?
When the crazy bitch finally got in, she seemed like she was filled with happiness as she swam towards one of the older polar bears. Knut was not around at the time, because he was doing a photo shoot with Playgirl or something. Now, I don't know what kind of craziness was swirling through that bitch's head while she swam towards a hongray polar bear. Maybe she thought it would be like the cartoons and they'd skip off together into the fake icy tundra. Obviously, that didn't happen.
The polar bears must have thought it was their fucking birthday! Here was a special needs seal swimming directly into their mouths! It didn't take long for them to begin biting at the bitch! When the kook realized the polar bears were gnawing at her instead of showering her with welcoming kisses, she began swimming towards safety. Some of the zoo workers tried to get the bears away from her while others hoisted the heifer up the wall with a lifesaver. The first time they tried, the lifesaver broke, but eventually they got her ass up there. The woman was taken to the nearest hospital where she was treated for bites to her arms and legs.
Nobody knows why she decided it was a good idea to try to play with the polar bears, but I think I know why. It's because she's FUCKING CRAZIER THAN FUCKING CRAZY! Let's be serious.
I think she also might be stalking Knut. Knut needs to look into taking out a restraining order against that nut!
Below is video of her rescue and also some pictures of her getting bit by a polar bear. Maybe he wasn't trying to eat her ass. Maybe he was getting kinky with her?
Wenn.com (Thanks Sabrina)
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Everybody acts more stupid after a few steins of Dinkelacker.
lol. just, lol.
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http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
COME AT ME, BITCH!
Did she swim to them thinking she was going to sit there and share a Coke?
The elderly woman is a doctor?
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
Danish should win the prize as the most unromantic language ever (ok, that I've heard or spoken, lol...chinese might be pretty awful, too, after awhile :) ). I agree with whoever said it depends on where the german speaker comes from.
On topic...crazy lady should have to pay for her rescue and for any animals that have to die because of her. In fact, she should have to pay for their replacements! By how much did she miss getting a Darwin Award this year?
Submitted by fuckingclassy on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:44pm.
BEARS BELONG IN ANARCTICA, NOT IN THE ZOO!
I never stopped foot in any zoo in the Wolrd, the site of those poor tortured animals breaks my heart to no end!
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some animals become extinct in their own natural habitats because of other dumb humans (poachers, hunters, etc) and sometimes it is better for their species and their personal survival for them to live in a zoo. i think there is a very minimal number of zoos that mistreat their animals, the rest of them are doing it for the good of the animals. but i must say it does hurt my heart to go to the zoo and see lions and shit surrounded by glass, they don't even have anything other than big rocks that resembles their natural habitat. other than that, zoos are really good.
@fuckingclassy(assuming you weren't being sarcastic), as someone who has worked in a couple of zoos in the U.S. I can tell you the animals there are treated better than most pampered house pets. They are hardly tortured.
the polar bear should've ended her. what a dumb ass. and now hopefully we dont hear that she is gonna sue the zoo..or some crazy shit.this pisses me off.
Coma Caca!!
BEARS BELONG IN ANARCTICA, NOT IN THE ZOO!
I never stopped foot in any zoo in the Wolrd, the site of those poor tortured animals breaks my heart to no end!
Jesus Christ! This woman was asking for it.
As part of my wildlife rescue and rehabilitation work, I handraised three Spotted Hyenas since they were newborns. We had a very strong bond until they hit puberty, formed their own clan, and then grew into the wild beasts that nature intended them to be. I knew when it was time to back the fuck off and let them live as close to a natural life as possible. They are now nearing three years of age (one of the females is about 3.5 years old), respectively, and are approximately 1/5 Polar Bear sized with the stongest jaw pressure per square inch of any mammal. Do you think I will even enter their habitat now? HELL THE FUCK NO! ESPECIALLY not at feeding time! Shit!
Dumbass cunt. If the Polar Bears had gnawed all of the grey matter right out of her she'd have come out the same as she went in.
***...HAV U HUGGED UR YOOHOO 2DAY?***
They killed the polar bear? That shit isn't right, the bear was doing what comes naturally, eating a dumbbitch who jumped into his domain. They should have at least let them lunch on that bitch if they were going to get killed. I agree that bitch should be arrested for all sorts of crimes. I was in tears at the end when all of the polar bears had her stupid as surrounded.
Geez... I thought I had problems.
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:35pm.
Hahaha. That lady is like a turkey on Thanksgiving.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
I don't know German I think the 10 yr old kid said something about "dangerous". He's smarter than the woman.
Too many bong hits make people....shhtuuupit!
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
As she was swimming towards them, the bears were cheerfully singing: "My baloney has a first name, it's H.E.F.T.Y.! My baloney has a second name, it's C.R.A.Z.Y.!!".
Submitted by No Words on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 12:41pm.
Sort of on-topic...
After listening to the narration on the news report, I can honestly say that German is perhaps the most UNromantic, UNsensual, NONerotic language I have heard.
it really depends on what part of germany...german german is pretty harsh, but austrian for example is alot more friendly sounding...
as for romantic, there are a select few writers/singers who can make it sound quite lovely :o) check out the söhne mannheims or xavier naidoo
Doesn't that cunt know those bears are at least 7 ft tall, and anyone is in in Polar Bear country sports 32 caliber rifle just for safety sake?
Was the tourist American?
That bear wasn't hungery. It could have ripped off her head and shoulders in one pull.
At least she didn't take her child with her too.
*Freebird: mantra of the moron*
~Bill Hicks~
KNUT say: mmmm LUNCH ahhh he's growing up :)
the dumb B. Polar bear can skin you alive like the seals.tasty.
9/10/09 "Jesus says, "give me some downtime!" -mrsoul jr.
Submitted by SuperSteph on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:27pm
cool good to now something from H.S stuck lol!!
I particularly have a problem with the fact that the YouTube video is very erroneously titled "Polar Bear Attacks Woman at Berlin Zoo".
Submitted by jussayin on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:19pm.
I so need that pic to have a caption
"I can haz dumbitch?"
That would ROCK!!! Make it happen!
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Hey Miffed,
My German is in no way perfect, but yeah, you did learn something in German class :)
Morgan= morning
Tag = day
abend= evening
guten = good
And a few more important ones I think we can all learn from this story:
Dumme schlampe - Dumb Whore
Dummes Weibchen- Stupid Bitch
Idioten - Idiot
Arschloch - Asshole
Dumme Stück Scheiße - Dumb shit
:)
Common sense is the genius of humanity - Goethe
This polar bear did not ask to be put on display for dumb humans. If she would have been killed, she deserved it.
Why did they rescue her? WHY?
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Submitted by The New Improve... on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:15pm.
The fact that this woman has managed to breed and produce offspring is enough to disprove Darwin's theory of evolution.
No fucking words.
U Ozzie Wyle E??? U live in Dubai now??
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:16pm.
@Devilgirl: I think Jiggy's a little bunny like us too. O.k., I'm going on Twatter...be back in a minute
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Is she? I think Grape is too!
I bet polar bears like the chewy human centers best!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by pomegranate on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:02pm.
They should have f*cking shot that crazy bitch. The worst is when dumb bitches like this do dumb shit, and end up getting the animal killed.
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yeah, i really don't understand the logic people use when killing an animal just because some DUMB FUCKS did some DUMB SHIT. it's part of their nature, what do they expect? it's not like they're going to go to africa and kill every lion that has killed a zebra, so what is the difference? the dumb fucks had to have some kind of (ir)rational thought before doing it, they are the ones that deserve to be killed, or injured. not the animal.
I so need that pic to have a caption
"I can haz dumbitch?"
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Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothing of me.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 2:09pm.
and this heifer has a BABY, christ, the kid is doomed, might as well be Ocotocrazy's kid. At least that clown isn't jumping into zoo cages, yet.
Give her time Pearl!!!
@Devilgirl: I think Jiggy's a little bunny like us too. O.k., I'm going on Twatter...be back in a minute.
The fact that this woman has managed to breed and produce offspring is enough to disprove Darwin's theory of evolution.
No fucking words.
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The New Improved Wyle E
I can't even... Okay, in her defense, she's fucking stupid and can't help it.
and this heifer has a BABY, christ, the kid is doomed, might as well be Ocotocrazy's kid. At least that clown isn't jumping into zoo cages, yet.
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:54pm.
@miffed - I only know that because I'm a shorty. Not a dwarf, just a shorty (5 '). Short-bus kid too, sometimes, as Devilgirl can attest!
bloody hell Leash I was hoping u could back me up here, short ass shitter lol!!!!!
They should've shoved her crazy ass back in to the water.
According to nasty placenta eating bitches.. she's about 200lbs of meat going to waste!
Adam Corolla needs to get back on with his "Germany or Florida" and get this in.
Reminds me of a Chris Morris radio program called Blue Jam (Look him up on YouTube as he is one of the finest examples of British comedy).
There was that one time where a guy was walking into a zoo asking to pay a 'special ticket' to enter the lion's cage, lie down and not wake up again, and then some families called him a sicko, he was replying "It's not my sickness, it's YOUR sickness - you re the ones that make me want to do it!"
Maybe this lady was sick of people's sickness too?
They should have f*cking shot that crazy bitch. The worst is when dumb bitches like this do dumb shit, and end up getting the animal killed.
must be from texas.
@Devilgirl: O.k., I'm going after I finish reading the Woody thing. I'll e-mail ya w/ the NEW name.
(((hugs)))
p.s. I dislike animal-botherers too. Girlfriend was clearly off her subscriptions (as we say in the Dirty South)...
I know English obviously, a little German from H.S & a little Swahili, from a guy I met on the web from Nairobi, oh and I can count to 10 in french whoopee, lol, wish I could speak every language, especially French or Spanish!!!!! Anyone willing to teach me?
Mrs K your flourless bittersweet torte sounds a lot more luscious than the pineapple upside-down cake I just made! And way more avant garde.
I guess the "Don't Feed The Bears" sign wasn't written in dumbass.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
You aren't a short bus person Leash! You and I are height challenged, but not mentally (although there is some debate when it comes to me!)
o/t:
wish the polar bear would have bit her head off like a chocolate bunny!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:52pm.
Sure, and you can go to my page and see, most of them you will recognize!
Yay, Leash is gonna Tweet again. Grape and Jiggy will be happy! You've been missed!
O/T:
I hate stupid animal bothering people
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
@miffed - I only know that because I'm a shorty. Not a dwarf, just a shorty (5 '). Short-bus kid too, sometimes, as Devilgirl can attest!
Dummkoff!! The polar bear should have bitten her head clean off. People are such imbeciles. I can't call them idiots anymore; my son nails me on it. However, he isn't aware of the word imbecile, so I can use it freely.
(better if yelled with French accent): IMBECILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. —Groucho Marx
@Devilgirl - o.k. I might go into Twitter in a minute after I come up with something... Has anyone else we're DListed buddies with gone on? You'll have to let me know who's Who...
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:47pm.
The only thing I can remember in German right now is the word 'Zwerge', which I THINK is the word for 'dwarf'...
buggar, I never learnt that one!! Ich leiber du(sp???shit knows hehe), I love you!
Everytime I talk to my friend from England, he mentions that Americans are fatties and dull. And Europeans are thin and more evolved. (He loves to generalize and push buttons). Well this lady is chubby and not so bright. So this is a very delicious story for me.
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Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:41pm.
Hi ya Leash! Long time no see on dl! Just got done reading your email! I will get back to you tonight with an idea or two, but I still like your orig. name!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
The only thing I can remember in German right now is the word 'Zwerge', which I THINK is the word for 'dwarf'...