You Know Where This Is Going.....
At the Berlin Zoo yesterday, a crazy lady decided to take off her shoes and pay Knut a little visit! It was polite of her to take off her shoes before entering...
The 32-year-old loontardian, who was visiting the zoo with her husband and baby, broke into the polar bear enclosure during the perfect time: FEEDING TIME! Why are people stupid? Why?
When the crazy bitch finally got in, she seemed like she was filled with happiness as she swam towards one of the older polar bears. Knut was not around at the time, because he was doing a photo shoot with Playgirl or something. Now, I don't know what kind of craziness was swirling through that bitch's head while she swam towards a hongray polar bear. Maybe she thought it would be like the cartoons and they'd skip off together into the fake icy tundra. Obviously, that didn't happen.
The polar bears must have thought it was their fucking birthday! Here was a special needs seal swimming directly into their mouths! It didn't take long for them to begin biting at the bitch! When the kook realized the polar bears were gnawing at her instead of showering her with welcoming kisses, she began swimming towards safety. Some of the zoo workers tried to get the bears away from her while others hoisted the heifer up the wall with a lifesaver. The first time they tried, the lifesaver broke, but eventually they got her ass up there. The woman was taken to the nearest hospital where she was treated for bites to her arms and legs.
Nobody knows why she decided it was a good idea to try to play with the polar bears, but I think I know why. It's because she's FUCKING CRAZIER THAN FUCKING CRAZY! Let's be serious.
I think she also might be stalking Knut. Knut needs to look into taking out a restraining order against that nut!
Below is video of her rescue and also some pictures of her getting bit by a polar bear. Maybe he wasn't trying to eat her ass. Maybe he was getting kinky with her?
Wenn.com (Thanks Sabrina)
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literarylioness, I live in SF too and apparently the kids were drunk and stoned and taunting the tiger like crazy. one of the kids was sober and he was the one who got killed because of those two other kids...who I think also got either hurt or killed...anyway, those kids are totally responsible for taunting the tiger. Only in America would we think of suing the zoo for this type of shit when it's clearly the fault of the kids for doing this. And I think they were all over 18 so whatever!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
She is so fuckin' stupid I almost wanted the polar bear to eat her DUMB ASS! Doesn't she know that polar bears will eat ANYTHING in the wild and especially if they're hungry? Also, she should have really checked first to see if Knut was around before she jumped in there because it makes her look even more crazy ass stupid...shit, I totally nominate her for HOT SLUT OF THE WEEK! Hooray!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Team Polar Bear! This reminds me of the story of the kids who broke into the Brooklyn Zoo back in the day and one of them was fatally mauled by a polar bear. Except I have sympathy for them because they were KIDS! And children aren't exactly known for their awesome judgement.
http://www.nytimes.com/1987/05/20/nyregion/polar-bears-kill-a-child-at-p...
Weird to think if that boy would be my age if he hadn't gone into that damn cage.
Literary Lioness - I'll never understand why humans punish wild animals for acting like...wild animals.
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I wish it was like the 70's and it was still ok to kick someone's ass. Damn
I live in San Francisco, a native, and those dipsticks suing the SF Zoo are just money grubbing idiots! The tiger's name was Tatiana and the reports state she was being tormented by these punks. One of them got mauled to death and his family is suing the zoo, as are the other two. There is actually a memorial for Tatiana at the zoo and these dips want one for the guy who died. A lot of people here are for the tiger and not these guys. I have been going to that zoo for over 30 years and nothing like this has ever happened before. Just another bunch of sue happy jerks.
Just watched the vid.
You know they should give those poor bears some live food. This looks like it's the most fun they've had in ages!
Seriously, just toss in a old seal every now and then. The retired one from sea world that can't balance a ball on their snout anymore.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
special needs seal??? LMAO!!! thanks!
"The More You Know, The Less You Need"
*tosses easter ham at TigerLilly*
*runs like hell*
...but I will fight you over the mac n cheese. trust!
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Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothing of me.
Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 8:52pm.
I live in San Francisco, a native, and those dipsticks suing the SF Zoo are just money grubbing idiots! The tiger's name was Tatiana and the reports state she was being tormented by these punks. One of them got mauled to death and his family is suing the zoo, as are the other two. There is actually a memborial for Tatiana at the zoo and these dips want one for the guy who died. A lot of people here are for the tiger and not these guys. I have been going to that zoo for over 30 years and nothing like this has ever happened before. Just another bunch of sue happy jerks.
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Pssht..those fuck wads should get a memorial in the shape of a tiger's asshole because that's how they were MEANT to finally exit this world!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
what a stupid ass.
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
GOOD. I hope it hurt like HELL. STUPID BITCH!!!
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
Submitted by jussayin on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 8:11pm.
that TigerLilly, always so sweet and hong...er, happy for her friends...
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Yes, yes...happy for my friends to GET IN MY BELLY...er, I mean...to get to my property in Belize...Yes, it's totes gorge, must see, all of you...I shall arrange...
Now, shall we dine? *locking door to tiger cage behind me...*
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
that TigerLilly, always so sweet and hong...er, happy for her friends...
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Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothing of me.
Idiot is lucky she's alive.
No. Fuck you and your spam.
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There's solace a bit for submitting to the fitfully cryptically true
What's happened has happened,what's coming is already on its way- with a role for me to play
-Fiona Apple "Red Red Red"
Peep my blog, y'all will love it!
http://muchbetterthanworking.blogspot.com
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 7:56pm.
evilShoe:
yeah, i live in the bay area and the way this story is turning out is a damn shame. at first the press as very muchon the side of the animals, since these kids just tormented that tiger. they were throwing things at (him? her?) it and yelling and screaming at it for a long time. the tiger's claws were torn from scaling the concrete wall to get to those motherfucking idiots, so you *know* they pissed it off real good.
and they have the nerve to sue.
zoos are awful places anyway.
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you want to go somewhere beyond going to keep senses apart
you tried to get where you belong leaving behind parts of your heart
("plenty of", ms john soda)
{rant}
i have gone and braved the wilds of the grocery store and done all kinds of other shit since reading this story this morning, but i can't stop thinking about it. i really wonder what was going through her fucking mind. her kid was right there! i try to only do idiotic things when my child isn't around - that's responsible parenting, dammit, not letting go of your kid's hand and jumping into a fucking polar bear enclosure! did she have a kanye west sort of "gay fish" moment and think "i'm really one of them" or "that's my future husband" or something? christ.
{/rant}
and you know those polar bears just wanted a taste.
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you want to go somewhere beyond going to keep senses apart
you tried to get where you belong leaving behind parts of your heart
That water looks nasty. It'd be full of polar bear pee. yuck.
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Shine on you Crazy Diamond
What is sad is if this shit went down in the US, she'd have filed a lawsuit already AND she would have a good chance of winning because somehow she got in.
Remember that tiger case here (San Francisco?) where the kids got in, taunted it then it chased them out and killed one? His family is suing and they will get a windfall from it. Why? Because when you have wild animals, you have absolutely NO defense if someone gets in or it gets out. I learned that shit in Business Law.
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Dick happens! - MK
Sheeps!
Demmit! I may have to have my 16 yr old nephew explain it to me!!!
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KILL THAT BITCH!
Submitted by Clarisse on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 7:22pm.
*lying* Yes! I'm doing my taxes on it right now.
Sheeps!!!!
Do you have an Ipod? I bowed and picked up the ITouch this evening, and it has me flummoxed!!!!
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I'm gonna go with my instincts on this one and trust Tiger. I mean, what bad could happen? She seems as gentle as those tigers in that Vegas act with the two gay Australian dudes.
Submitted by LunaChick on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:57pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:51pm.
Sheeps, it's a trap! She just wants a nice, juicy lamb chop, for Easter dinner.
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LIAR MOUTH!!! She's-She's lying out of her lying mouth hole that lies!!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:57pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:46pm.
You're so sweet! Should we bring anything with us? A salad maybe?
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SALAD??? A FUCKING SALAD??? WHO BRINGS SHIT LIKE THAT TO A CARNI-....er, *patting tiger hair*...Why yes, dear...how gracious and thoughtful of you...
Now if you don't mind my asking, have you per chance put on any weight recently? *licking tiger chops*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 7:02pm.
Noooooooo! You think you know a tiger..... I was just gonna do some laps in her pool enclosure.
I didn't realize Sheep could swim. Hmmm, maybe you can do a few laps with the Otters - I hear they're a friendly lot.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Why are the rescuers always getting in the way of natural selection?
That was 230/240 lbs of bear meat. Free. Free bear meat and one less dumbass on the planet. WIN/WIN!!!
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Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:46pm.
Can I just interject here that not all zoo animals are that violent...No, take me for instance...I welcome you into my tiger cage...
How do we know we can trust you? I mean, you seem nice.
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Trust me? *laughing most charming cocktail hour laugh*...Oh you are so droll, darling!...I tell you what, I'll give you my word as a carni..er, I mean, caring tiger...Nothing untoward will happen...You know, I would simply be mortified if it did....
Now shall I pencil you in for, say...oh, I don't know...my 6:00 feeding? Oh, and do be a dear and bring a small amount of mint jelly...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I remember years ago some kids decided to break in and swim with the polar bears at the San Diego zoo. Apparently there were only pieces of them left.
Darwin lives.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Submitted by LunaChick on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:57pm.
Noooooooo! You think you know a tiger..... I was just gonna do some laps in her pool enclosure.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:46pm.
Can I just interject here that not all zoo animals are that violent...No, take me for instance...I welcome you into my tiger cage...
How do we know we can trust you? I mean, you seem nice.
Sheeps, it's a trap! She just wants a nice, juicy lamb chop, for Easter dinner.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:46pm.
You're so sweet! Should we bring anything with us? A salad maybe?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:46pm.
Can I just interject here that not all zoo animals are that violent...No, take me for instance...I welcome you into my tiger cage...
How do we know we can trust you? I mean, you seem nice.
They should've kept her in the cage on display for any other genius who thinks they should pet the pretty teddy
Can I just interject here that not all zoo animals are that violent...No, take me for instance...I welcome you into my tiger cage...We'll have a glass of Chiante...I'm very civilized...I suppose it's partly being in an Atlanta zoo...southern hospitality and all...*ahem*...*tiger eyes darting back and forth*
Anywho, make your last supper...er, "visiting" reservations at dumbwhoreeat.com...I prefer chunky, chubby or even obese...er, "companions"...If you a skinny ho, please bring along a tasty...er, I mean friendly friend....Again, for reservations please go to dumbwhoreeat.com...See y'all in Atlanta! *tying bib around tiger neck, puttin' pot of Fava beans on stove*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
fucking IDIOT deserved it.
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There's solace a bit for submitting to the fitfully cryptically true
What's happened has happened,what's coming is already on its way- with a role for me to play
-Fiona Apple "Red Red Red"
jackass
---
Sometimes I sing and dance around my house in my underwear. Doesn't make me Madonna. Never will.
Too bad they didn't eat the dumb cunt.
What a complete retard. She definitely got what she deserved.
Good thing they hauled her out. I'd hate for a polar bear to choke on stupid.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
yves said,
"must be from texas."
...the hell?
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
too bad that dumb chick didn't get eaten by the bears.
If it weren't for the fact the poor bear has to interact with humans, I would've NOT saved her fucking stoopid fat ass.
Ship her to the Arctic and let her be free with the Polar Bears there.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
They can't and damn well shouldn't hold the bear accountable for this fat ass's bad judgment. She's an interloper, not a victim, and so she deserved to have a bite taken out of her.
Leash, I got ya!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 4:34pm.
@Sugaroo: Try this: M Shepherd
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Unless your name is Josh or Craig, that ain't it, either! BWAH!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
What a goddamn retard. Just imagine, this stupid bitch went w/ her husband and child. She's supposed to teach that kid wrong from right. That kid's fucked!!!
Submitted by paulapoo on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 3:49pm.
They might want to upgrade their rescue equipment. Those were some jankass life preservers.
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Did I see S.S. Minnow on those life preservers?