A Crime Against Beauty, Elegance & Lucite
Prayer circle time! Prayer circle time! Make room for the angels and saints, they will be joining us, because The Empress of Lucite is in danger! That monster of a man has whipped her gorgeous ass again! Last December, Shauna Sand's on-and-off-again husband choked and punched at her in front of her children. Romain Chavent was it again this past Monday! I bet you were wondering why the skies were pitch black and filled with tears on Monday (just pretend they were), it was because the most elegant beauty the world has ever seen was in peril!
TMZ delivered the awful news and said the police arrived at Shauna's lucite kingdom on Monday night after Romain attacked her. Shauna said they had an argument which led to Romain biting at her perfect body and shoving her around. Romain was arrested and is currently being held on $50,000 bail.
That piece of shit bastard! I bet he hid all of her exquisite lucite heels, so she would be powerless!
Prezzie Obama, please demand that this beast be put down! He is trying to destroy an international treasure! If lucite forbid, something terrible happens to Shauna, the world would lose all its beauty. Flowers would die. Green grass would turn brown. All kittens would instantly become obese roaches. Every last Mother's Circus Animal Cookie would become a Wheat Thin. Booze would turn into barium liquid . Everything beautiful in this world would become ugly without her. Something must be done!