When The Asshole Is Away, The Douche Will Play

Asshole Simpson had a sad face in her heart when she had to leave her husband to go back home and take care of Bronx Mowgli. Ass was with Pete Wentz for a few of his shows, but couldn't go with him to Las Vegas. Asshole let her out sadness through Twitter, "I am beyond sad to leave my love... My heart is breaking as we drive home. I need my hubs."

Meanwhile in a hotel room in Vegas, Petey was bumping vaginas with a bunch of hos. After a Fall Out Boy concert at the Palms Casino on April 5th, Pete partied with 50 skanks including his band members, a few dancers and his friends. Some ho who was there told Star Magazine, "Everybody was going absolutely crazy. People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip 'n' Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band's own songs, grinding up against the dancers."

Lube 'n' Slide? That sounds like something Tommy Girl scoots his ass over in between butt fucks during a Scientolo-orgy.

You know, Asshole was just putting on an act with her Twitter post. Bitch was probably relieved that Pete wasn't at home, locked in the bathroom, using her flat iron to straighten his pubes out and using her eyeliner to paint lipstick on his peen hole.

Although, looking at these pictures of him with hos probably made her a little weepy. I mean, Pete can't grind on Ass like that without busting into a giggle fit. It's still a miracle that Ass got pregnant since I doubt his ladyfinger ever went into her flower garden. Pete must have just busted one on the toilet seat and forgot to clean it up. Ass didn't notice it when she went to make a pee....VOILA! Baby!

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by duoajdofdggd on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 10:10am.

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Submitted by xxyxz on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 10:03am.

Sup Stocky?

Submitted by The C word on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 10:03am.

Nothing wrong with a married man going out and having some fun but I draw the line at leg-humping others.

Yeah that Pete Wentz, he’s a prize alright.

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This place has got everything.

Submitted by LA on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 10:03am.

This is going to be a spectacular breakup, I can hardly wait.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 10:00am.

She married this asshat douche....no one held a gun to her head. Either learn to live with his douchiness or leave & stop whinning.

Submitted by kiwikim on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:58am.

it's the first time I've seen this guy look happy.

Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:56am.

I hate this douche anybody that drinks his own piss is definitely not on the cool list.Looser!I can't have sympathy for Ash..she is fully aware that he is an ass.

xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Submitted by Snarkley on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:52am.

And Poppa Joe probably helped dumped Nick Lachey because he thought Nick was bad for his daughter's image.

Submitted by Miss Priss on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:48am.

when Ass and Petey fight, do they bump chins until one of them gets cut?

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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get

Submitted by dementa on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:48am.

... and that's why you're not supposed to automatically marry a guy who knocks you up. Sometimes he's a revolting little slutbag.

Submitted by cantankerous on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:45am.

I doubt he will have that look on his face after his wife sees these pictures and rips him a new one.

Submitted by Miss Priss on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:43am.

I hate Fall Out Boy. And they are rockstars! WTF is wrong with people?!
And Petey is just the bass player! He don't even sing. Dick

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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:43am.

Uh oh!! Petey better watch his back for an angry Joe...

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You have a fucking signature quote...come on now. Doesn't get much worse. aeon312 4/3/09

A Noun _is a person place or thing_'s picture

Submitted by A Noun _is a pe... on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:42am.

Feh. a transparent ploy to keep their names in the news. Not caring.

Submitted by Reeter on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:42am.

"He was dancing and singing along to his band's own songs"

That says it all right there.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:41am.

One usually hyphenates their name in Hollywood if it perceived to upgrade your status.

Taking Wentz as a last name does not add shine to Asslee's former giant schnoz.

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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.

http://www.myspace.com/triston

Submitted by SeH on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:41am.

Daaaaaamn! BUSTED! LoL, Petey's in a whole mess of trouble.

I'm sorry but Asslee just experienced one of the pitfalls of young marriage with a puerile fuckwit.

Submitted by Nanners on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:40am.

It looks so unnatural for Pete to be that close to a woman without exchanging makeup tips.

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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!

Submitted by Snarkley on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:40am.

If she hasn't figured out that he's a useless cuntbag by now, I doubt slapping her in the face with the truth will have much effect.

Submitted by KD on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:40am.

He looks..special in that second picture. The chic is trying to ignore him so he's pulling out his smooth monkey moves.

Submitted by Kandykane on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:37am.

Those are some funny pics and how telling. The minute asswifey and kiddie leave Vegas, there Douchebag is ... fucking with strippers. HAHA That's gotta hurt. (Rant)Oh, and Twitter's for TWITS. I don't give a fuck WHAT you had for lunch. I don't give a fuck that you're constipated and can't shit. I don't give a fuck that your man ran off with the bleached blonde across the street. And I don't give a fuck that your fucking man can't keep his fucking pecker in his pants the minute you leave the room. Get a fucking life. Keep your fucking TWITS to yoself, you fucking TWIT.(End Rant)

Submitted by greenfinch on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:37am.

i'd be pulling a samro on his ass and changing the locks on the door before he got home.

Submitted by Miss Priss on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:36am.

Bronx's daddy is a douche!
Suck on that Asshole!
That poor child

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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:36am.

I love the look on the right skanks face. It says, "Um...yeah. Aren't you gay?"

Submitted by Knuckles_Johnson on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:36am.

Everything this douchebag and his douche wife do they do for attention. I am sure Ashlee came up with the idea so that it will keep their names in the press. Man, they are so useless.

Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:34am.

I wish I could be clever and witty, but the only thing I can come up with is douche!

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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............

Submitted by Ugotnerve on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:34am.

I knew this twat would revert to type sooner or later. If a guy still dresses and acts like a scene cunt half his age then he probably isn't ready for the task of being a father.

I'm actually beginning to feel sorry for Asshole, as shocking as it sounds... but then again she knew what she was in for.

Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:33am.

OH FUCK THAT!
If that was MY husband,his dick would be super glued to his stomach in his sleep.
FUCK that noise!

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Yes,this is MK

Submitted by Jewslim on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:33am.

He looks like an emo jr. miss model

Submitted by loozer on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:30am.

Pete has to be the bastard child of Jeremy Piven.

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Hey, well I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan, oh won't you hop inside my car? I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable man,I'd like to take you to the nearest star I'm your vehicle

Submitted by xxyxz on Thu, 04/09/2009 - 9:28am.

I'd still hit it...