Being Suri Cruise Is Exhausting
Suri Cruise is already forced to spend hours working the famorewhore stroll with her weepy-bot mother, but that shit only consumes a small part of her week. The rest of the week is filled with lessons! French lessons, Spanish lessons, ballet lessons, tap lessons, jazz lessons and modern dance lessons! Lessons, Mr. Moss! That's what The National Enquirer says anyway.
A source said Tommy Girl has spent $1 million on lessons so Suri can be the best. It's his "little troll trying to compensate" syndrome acting up again. The source said, "It doesn't matter what Suri is doing, Tom wants her to be able to do it better than any other child. All parents think their kids are special, but Tom and Katie firmly believe Suri is gifted. She is learning French and Spanish and has a tutor she sees once a week. Suri has shown a real love of dancing, so Tom and Katie are encouraging her as much as possible. She practices ballet, tap and modern dance for hours, nearly every day. She also has private gymnastics lessons and is learning soccer. Katie likes to have Victoria and David Beckham's sons around, since they are older. She thinks Suri will emulate what they do and learn even faster."
Damn. When does she have time to drink?! Seriously, I bet Tommy makes Suri takes all her lessons privately so the peon children won't taint her!
$1 million is also the amount of money Suri is going to need to pay for all the therapy and anti-depressants she will need in about 10 years. Oh, did I say anti-depressants? I didn't mean that. I'm just being glib.
VIA Showbiz Spy
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So long as they're not making her book Broadway shows with her tap dancing there's not pressure, it's just a lot of fun. Much better than buying her a video game and be like the other lazy, fat, "normal" kids.
bv
I used to work for a doctor who had all of his children enrolled in a private school for gifted children. It always bemused me to some degree, because none of his children could be considered gifted. I guess enough money will buy you "gifted."
Fast forward about 10-12 years (no, don't; I'm not ready for my 40s just yet!) and see Suri turn into another Lindsay Lohan.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
why do women with fat legs wear short skirts it hurts my friggin eyes!
Oh, their little darling is SO gifted and SO brilliant and if she isn't then DAMMIT THEY'RE GONNA DRILL HER UNTIL SHE IS!!!!! NO SLEEP FOR YOU, SURI CRUISE! GO PRACTICE YOUR TAP-DANCING!
And somehow I doubt these are normal lessons anyway. She probably does everything with sixteen Scienobot minders staring without blinking, and taking notes on their clipboards to take back to Emperor Cruise. And no other kids, of course -- they might give her a cold, or normal interactions without the cameras watching.
kiwikim, well, my parents never did and I was reading thousand-plus page books at the age of seven. Maybe there's a connection.
Oh Katie. I hope karma kicks you square in the ass for what you've gotten this innocent child into. From how beat you've been looking lately, I'd say karma has been warming up by poking you with a sharp stick. You've earned the hell that you're gonna go through, girlfriend.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___SugarmommaMeet.Com_____a great place for rich Woman to meet young and handsome man.............
Katie Holmes has terrible legs. Big fucking tree trunks.
One mil on all of those lessons for one small child? I can believe it. My cousin has paid thousands per year for two boys to partipate in multi-season soccer and basketball with all the tournament travel, etc. The guys have received their credentials to referee, so there has been some return on the investment.
fiction.
the lessons thing is fiction.
but the poor girl IS exhausted from the running around. i feel bad for her.
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The McCanns Did It
doesnt this bitch ever grow, its been like 2 years and she hasnt gone up an inch
It looks like Suri is holding a mannequin's hand.
To become really good at something you need to practice,practice, practice. But there is another ingredient you can't buy; passion for it. That comes from the soul. Hope they remember that.
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Of course they think their child is gifted. They think they are gifted. Every american parent I know has their children in a gifted program. Someone explain this to me.
They cant even get Suri to wear a coat, how could they possibly get her to take lessons?
As for practicing dancing for hours? Don't most toddlers dance a lot?
I know a few over-aspiring immigrant families who did that to their kids. You know: denied them a childhood. Most of the kids turned out to be high achievers with dead souls and problems socializing.
Sounds like most of the parents I know on the Upper East Side. If I wanted to print my own money, I'd start some kind of "enrichment" class and tell every parent their child was "gifted".
I don't have my kids in a single "class". Never have. I couldn't see the point in paying for my 6 month old to shake a tambourine with a bunch of other babies. Or paying $600 for a "cooking" class.
*I* teach them. They help me bake and cook in the kitchen. I teach them Spanish and French vocab at home which I figure is just enough to keep the language synapses open until they get real lessons in school. They have a microscope and a keyboard and they fuck around with those things by themselves when they want to. Nothing structured, nothing formal, nothing $$.
Oh, we did do a soccer class in the summer.
I hope this isn't true. Frankly, I don't believe it is because it appears this kid isn't on any type of schedule whatsoever. As of last month at least, it was clear she was still in diapers-not even trainers.
If this is true, then it is a form of child abuse and a waste of money to boot.
I wonder whatever happened to his other kids......
I guess they wouldn't be good role models. Not famous enough?
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
No wonder she too always looks exhausted.
Sending a child to tap, ballet, jazz, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, German, Russian, advanced aeronautical engineering classes isn't really a problem.
But subjecting the poor girl to French class??
Tommy, Tommy, Tommy..
--thanks awfully--
All kids need to have time to just be themselves, this poor robokid is guaranteed to be fucked up for life.
yup.. she'll come out with her own line of clear heels n about 15 years...
~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~
The Early Bird gets the worm but the Second Mouse gets the cheese.
love the look on her face---she and Zahara need to have a face-off.
WTF, she is being forced to learn French and Spanish. Poor Suri - I feel bad for her. She has some fucked up parents. She wont have much a childhood where she can just be a kid...the expectaitons of her starting so early and she'll be doing coke and fucking every cock in town by the time she is 16 to make up for the fact that she was overprotected and had it all...except for a childhood of course.
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
On one hand, I feel sorry for this little girl because she is not growing up in a nurturing environment. I mean, look at all the pressure they are putting on her and she's only, what, 3 or 4 years old? On the other hand, I really don't because she has everything most ADULTS could only dream of and more, material wise. So I am kind of torn, but do pity her for the awful parents she has. $1 million for all those classes? Really? That money could probably feed a small country. These c##ts, along with the Beckhams, should give their money to better causes and stop giving in to their insatiable greed all the damn time for a change. It makes me SICK that some people can spend $20,000 or more, regularly, in one day when I can barely afford to pay my bills.
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Submitted by ronnyk on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 3:09pm.
I've lived here almost all my life. I want out!
rant over
@ The California haters ...... please leave.
Oh and as for the LA basher. Bite it, bitch.
I lived in SF for 15 years and loved it. I've been in LA for 9 years and love it too.
The only thing I hated about SF was pompus 'tude towards the Southland.
she seems like a happy little girl, leave her alone already! Tommy Girl desperately wants to live through his daughter and that's why she's taking all those dancing lessons. Kate is the one I feel sorry for. she sold her soul for money and fame and now she's getting what she asked for.
I think she should wear make-up, hair extensions, pink lace dresses and take part in a pageant.
That was missing on the list.
Oh, they're THOSE types of parents. You know, the ones who enroll their kids in a montessori school, violin lessons, and painting classes. But then, surprise!! They grow up to be normal teenage dipshits.
Sure, it gives the kid structure compared to video games. But I don't think "$1 million" would be invested wisely in a child who would probably do fine just learning ONE language, sigh.
I know must of you are thinking, "poor Suri" but I know what kind of kid I was and I would have been very happy doing all that. I wanted to learn, learn, learn and dancing is fun. So long as they're not making her book Broadway shows with her tap dancing there's not pressure, it's just a lot of fun. Much better than buying her a video game and be like the other lazy, fat, "normal" kids.
If my daughter looked at me like that I'd enroll her ass in as many programs, lessons, recitals, and projects as possible to ensure droid-bot is not near me all damn day!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:47pm.
Does yo momma know you are a Spock doll perv?
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
The expression on that kid's face is priceless.
Poor little Suri really got burned in the parent department.
@xxyxz
I LOOOOVE california!!! (nor cal 4 eva). I'm never, ever, ever leaving here.
P.S. Milpitas sucks. Big time.
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"I have five words for Kara: PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE YOU STUPID CUNT." MK 4/1/09
@xxyxz
I LOOOOVE california!!! (nor cal 4 eva). I'm never, ever, ever leaving here.
P.S. Milpitas sucks. Big time.
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"I have five words for Kara: PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE YOU STUPID CUNT." MK 4/1/09
I think she's trying to tell Katie: "Come at me, b!tch!"
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
To dance and do gymnastics wouldn't her feet have to touch the ground?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by xxyxz on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 2:02pm.
don't we all, i'm sure! :)
a house!! well now that's a good deal!
I had a friend who was paying that much for a 1 bd apt, by Alameda park.
another plus for you- you could rent 2 houses for that much here.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Paris H.
I'm in Nor. Cali and I wwwwwwwwwwwwant to move lol. Do you have any space for me and my Shih Tzu?
I'll leave the kids with the hub.
bitchette
I wish I had a million to give you :) My rent is almost 2 G's for an old house on the East Side! not too close to Milpas though... you should be safe
GLIB! I was in class a few weeks ago and my professor used the word "glib" in a sentence. I about lost my shit.
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For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
Damn, I wish my mom could've afforded to get me all those dance lessons and shiz when I was a kid. Suri's having a lot of fun. Trust.
I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.
- Elizabeth Taylor
xxyxz, i don't hate Cali....it rocks! where else can you get beach, mountains and desert in one state?! the only problem with Cali is LA...which sucks ass. NorCal is lovely and fun!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
You know, I don't really remember katie ever being pregnant just *~~~$/&!POOF!&\$~~~~*
One day Suri appeared magically
Submitted by xxyxz on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 1:46pm.
*sigh*
who else hates California? I wish I could move to Vegas!!
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*raises hand*
On my check to the state I am putting "Fuck you" in the memo section.
Jim ~ 82 degrees in Big D today! We don't have Ocotomom however, we do have illegals.
I see a future Susan Atkins! (Manson gal for you young bitches)
WHERE ARE HIS OTHER KIDS...the adopted one's?! Katie Holmes looks like shit.Why does she parade her kid around? They both realize they look like such fuking weirdos?
And, if the ENQUIRER said it then WE all know that is the truth!