Well, At Least She Still Has Her Shoe Line
This baby sees the future. She's giving the "Why is this big mound of FAIL holding me?" look. Baby knew Jessica Simpson would fail at something else. So what subject did Jessica get her latest F- in? Why country music, of course! Country Music Tattle Tale noticed that every piece of Jessica Simpson has been erased from her label's website. Both SonyMusicNashville and ColumbiaNashville show no trace of the big-tittied frog.
OK! Magazine used their investigative reporting skills and called the receptionist at Jessica's label who told them she has "come off the label." An official label spokeswhore wouldn't say shit about shit.
I almost feel bad for Jessica, but then I tell myself that she has made a zillion dollars from being a dumb stupid whore.
Bitch is already making tons of cash from her nasty ass line of shoes, perfumes and other stupid shit, so she might as well just skip away. Just let the money make itself! Why bother with that "working" crap?! Who needs it!
Homegirl just needs to put on her eatin' dress and settle back into her La-Z-Boy with a sheet cake and a ten-gallon tub of ice cream from Costco. Seriously, the fat gene is aching to bust out of Jessica, so she should just let it come. She can watch her stories, get really fat and have a fucking fantastic life! Fuck, we would all do that if we could. I'm jealous!
UPDATE: The rumors are true. Jessica Simpson was just "on loan" to Sony Nashville and they don't want her ass anymore.
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So it is official: Jessica Blimpson is a failure at everything now. I think I will start listening to country music more often. They obviously have taste.
She has very nice skin though...
I think that baby is just mad its wearing that Bobby Trendy bow.
That baby is hiding a sight worse than the grim reaper-jessica's fat posing as saggy boobs.
I have new respect for country music fans. Even they were turned off by her fat ass in tight jeans and sensed she wasn't the real thing. Jessica peaked with Proactive. Smash boom pop shazam
"There was a story out recently saying that if Jess had it her way she's be a wife and a mom and nothing else."
I don't believe that for one second. Because she WAS a wife and her husband was ready to have children right then! She put off having kids and then divorced him. It's probably something she just wants now because she has failed at everything else she has tried.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Seriously, this skanklette needs to stop fighting the manifest destiny burgeoning inside her thunder thighs and dive 7 chins forward into S&M porn.
I know several people willing to beat her on camera.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
I've said it before and I'll say it again. She should have stayed with her husband, you know the guy who loved and adored her? But no, she got a big head, thought she could do better on her own, and now she ain't got shit. Well, she might have some money, but money can't buy happiness. And she has no respect from anyone, as far as I can tell. And as someone else said, Tony Romo isn't going to marry her. She fucked up big when she left her husband, and now Karma has come back to kick her in her big fat ass. And I couldn't be more happy about it.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
"big mound of FAIL"...LMAO
I can't stand when babies wear huge bows in their heads. POOR THING she looks like an Easter egg.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Tue, 04/07/2009 - 5:03pm.
Hey grape! Don't be so hard on yourself! You don't expect to get paid when you fuck up, do you?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Don't EVER feel sorry for this no-talent bitch! She a(and daddy) have fooled enough of the people for a long enough time. They need to GO AWAY! And take ashley with them!
This bitch is next Suzanne Summers/Jaclyn Smith. Romo isn't going to marry her. Nor will jessica ever get rid of her Dad. Keep selling those shoes Jess... you're gonna need the money.
I just hope no one else encourages her to continue....I want her, her stupid sister and her gross Dad to go away. FOREVER.
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Jessica Simpson was dropped by her Country label. Rock and R&B both immediately called “Not it!”
-Best week Ever
Too late to the game, Jess. Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler have the blonde ingenue look wrapped up and Gretchen the Redneck took the trashy look and ran. What could you have possibly brought to the table besides your tabloid past and your creepy dad-ager talking about your ta-tas?
The only remotely catchy thing she ever did was "Irresistible", that 2001 duet with Bow Wow. She should consider doing that again. We don't have any slightly skanky blue-eyed soul singers as we did in the past. She could become the next Tara Kemp!
She is making a mint from her shoe, clothing, accessories, etc lines.
"It's the Lifestyles of the Rich & Shameless"
Lost Boyz
I don't think Jessica is all that rich from her shoes/stuff because her daddy probably wasn't smart enough to get a % of the sales. He probably just signed her up for a flat fee for them to use Jessica's name. I've heard talk that Jessica is spending more money than she's taking in and I believe it because, why else would she do singing gigs at chili cookoffs/state fairs where the audience totals around 100 people? If you got millions you don't do that shit!! I doubt he will, but I hope Tony Romo marries her and she can settle down and have babies, like she wants to do. Jessica is a nice girl.
Suzanne Somers is the bomb!!! She has built an empire on HSN and, according to Forbes, earns $20-$30 million a year!! Now, that's a smart woman!! She sells everything you can think of . . . makeup, face creams, clothes, purses, shoes, books, exercise videos, diet food. And the women who watch HSN just love her.
I cant hate on her for some reason. She comes over as very human (as cheesy as that sounds). Ever since she flubbed up that Dolly Parton song at the Kennedy Center during her divorce or shortly thereafter, I gained some empathy for her. It just seems like something I would do trying to deal with my past divorce. It seems like I'm always stumbling around screwing up things, and sometimes in front of a bunch of people. I'll give her this. She falls/fails and gets back up.
Hurrah!!!! May this be the start of her total disappearance!!
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Paris Hilton hasn't spoken this glowingly about a boyfriend since her last boyfriend.
- ONTD 4/05/09
Wasn't this a blind item a few days ago? Something about a singer who is turning a blind eye to her athlete boyfriend's cheating because she wants to marry him to get away from her bad management. And Ms. Jessica is, for sure, being badly managed by her pappy!!
Bitch, put your blue-veined titties inside your shirt!
I'm sorry but that is gross.
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The New Improved Wyle E
I can't even... Okay, in her defense, she's fucking stupid and can't help it.
jessica can't even sell country? her 15 minutes are up...now go away...
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nice ass...when does it open?
I don't feel that bad for her, I mean she's the one who keeps sabotaging herself.
Seriously, how do you let yourself become this countryfied, chilli cookoff, indian casino, carnival singer (while muffin-topping out of high waisted pants) who's just painful to watch? She's still loaded, but I'd rather have some dignity that be a rich joke.
I don't like her shoes, but I basically live in flip-flops, so my opinion doesn't count for shit!
She probably does make more from her shoes than her singing. More done-and-done actresses and singers (you listen Blohan) need to remember Suzanne Summers parlayed her crappy acting career into a very lucrative one as a hormone and menopause expert to the tune of millions of dollars and a damn private plane.
Oh, and agreed on the shoes. I was at Nordstrom right after the line was launched, and every pair of shoes I picked up in the Jr`s section that I thought were trendy-trashy in a cute way that I`d wear clubbing or whatever were HERS. I know she just OKs and vetos shit, but still, someone is doing right by the trendy-trashy market ...
`She's giving the "Why is this big mound of FAIL holding me?" look.` = brills
Submitted by BlueOrchid on Tue, 04/07/2009 - 3:36pm.
Submitted by jussayin on Tue, 04/07/2009 - 3:03pm.
Columbia just dropped a buttload of artists...
Who else have they dropped?
....MK just had a post that they dropped Kelly Rowland. Someone else but I can't think of name....(eta: Omarion of B2K, or BMoreGhey as I called them)
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Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothing of me.
"But the singer's rep tells Us, "She was on loan to Sony Nashville for her country album."
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hahahahahahahahah. Right.
No Tony Romo for Carrie Underwears - she evidently is seriously dating Mike Fisher from the Ottawa Senators who is - wow!
Costco sheet cakes are the BEST. Especially if you get it with the vanilla pudding filling.
And Jessica's shoes are shockingly cute. I own a few pairs. And not super cheap either - they usually go for around $80-90/pair. I bet she's hardly upset about this. There was a story out recently saying that if Jess had it her way she's be a wife and a mom and nothing else.
That baby is giving her the serious sideye.
Tony Romo returns to Carrie Underwood's backfield in 3 ... 2 ... 1
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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eatin' dress. laugh my fucking ass off.
does this mean she'll go away for good?
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Fucka Doodle Doo!
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED: "...I can't hate her like Blohan because she doesn't seem like an evil crazy person. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with her just staying out of the public eye a bit and focusing on her shoe/handbag collection. Her stuff is actually pretty cute!"
Agreed on all points.
Nothing wrong with her hawking stuff on the interwebs. Those whores make a TON of cash. And look at Suzanne Somers. That bitch is loaded for life.
I don't need a woman with a 130+ IQ. ANything around 100 is fine. The important thing is that she is good looking, particularly the face (since you have to look at it alll the time). And I don't care if she is successful. I am. What I need her to do is provide sex (its important that she lets me cum in her mouth whenever I want) and take care of the house and kids. Lastly, all women are crazy to some degree. Its important that her carzyness is on the minimal side. So I think Jessica would be perfect for me.
Submitted by jussayin on Tue, 04/07/2009 - 3:03pm.
Columbia just dropped a buttload of artists...
Who else have they dropped?
ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ
Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
She sucks at almost everything, but I can't hate her like Blohan because she doesn't seem like an evil crazy person. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with her just staying out of the public eye a bit and focusing on her shoe/handbag collection. Her stuff is actually pretty cute!
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Douchechill!
Her labels really dropped her?! What a huge shock. Tony better hit the road a.s.a.p or she will be crying at him for a ring again.
I just wish someone would fix that poor little girl's shirt! I'm sure she doesn't want Chestica's hands all over her chest. I'd give her the side-eye, too!
Also, that outfit is 50 kinds of fug.
Maybe she can build a club for herself in Branson, Missouri.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by jussayin on Tue, 04/07/2009 - 3:01pm.
wtf with the huge pink bow and bad hair day on the baby? Baby is like "aww hell naw"!
As for Jessica, she has millions so I cannot call her a FAIL. She should go enjoy her money somewhere and disappear quietly like her ex did.
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Nick Lachey hasn't disappeared-he's just doing local ads here in Cincinnati (since he's from the area).
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
as Steve Miller said...."Ohhhhh...take the money and Run"...
she's so hyper ambitious you'd think she was one of those
trailer park blonde australian actresses we see so many of
toothing and clawing they're way to the top of the
american dream that never was
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
....and btw, it does seem that she is definitely the blind item about the girl with an athlete bf that just wants to get a ring so she can finally quit the biz.
wtf with the huge pink bow and bad hair day on the baby? Baby is like "aww hell naw"!
As for Jessica, she has millions so I cannot call her a FAIL. She should go enjoy her money somewhere and disappear quietly like her ex did.
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Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothing of me.
Columbia just dropped a buttload of artists...
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Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothing of me.
I remember hearing when her cuntry album first came out that it hit #1 on the charts as I was shocked & dismayed to hear. So what the hell happened? How does she go from #1 on the charts to getting dropped from the label. I'm just confused.
..the children are our future...
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
Maybe she could work on a project with Joaquin Phoenix.
good for her- she can focus on a family now...
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://twoliablog.com/teacups-and-couture/
"Big mound of FAIL" - you got that right!
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"Dude is titty fucking and prematurely jizzing on all of us with his eyes." - MK
Poor Chestica. Marriage: FAIL. Recording career: FAIL. Movie career: FAIL. You get where I'm going. She's just a big bowl of fail. Well at least she's consistent.
Finally, something good has happened because of the recession. Record labels can no longer afford to support talentless clients.
Movie studios should take note and stop greenlighting Paris Hilton projects.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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