DWTS: The End Of The Woz?
I fear that the true star of Wobbling with The Woz will be thrown over his Segway and sent back to the land where you don't have to take more than two steps and you can eat Twinkies all day. No, not my apartment, The Woz's house! Last night, he attempted to do the Tango, but it looked more like Karina Smirnoff Ice grinding up against the wood bear that guards High Sierra Territory at Six Flags Magic Mountain. But The Woz was trying, you could tell by the pained look on his face. It's the same look I get when I'm standing in a crowded elevator clenching my ass cheeks because the biggest fart in the history of farts is about to drop. The Woz didn't even to try let it seep out slowly, he just kept it all in. I care so much about him that I even stopped devouring a bowl of frozen Mother's Circus Animal Cookies and picked up the phone to vote for him. That is love. Woz love.
But I'm afraid it's not enough and the Pepaw Care Bear will get the red light tonight. Since it's a double execution, my other guess is that Holly Madison will get the second bullet. I bet you that tramp will giggle when they hand down her sentence. Why was that whore giggling like someone was tickling her taint during judging?! The judges could've said, "You're a virgin who can't drive," and she would've kept on giggling. Did the soul of a Japanese school girl jump into her skank body?! Or did all that peroxide kill most of her brain cells, so all she knows how to do is HEHEHEHEHEHE.
Nobody was giggling when my arch rival CHERYL BURKE took to the dancefloor with that hot ripe sausage known as Gilles Marini. I can't even tell you how grossed out I was over this ham fucking bullshit. I would rather watch Gilles ass fuck an obese pigeon than watch this again. When she said to him, "Pretend you're in love with me," I wanted to put my peen in a PEEN-INI (get it? HA!) maker and press down to the stop pain CHERYL BURKE was inflicting upon me. I can't believe there was a dry mouth in the house, because my vomit would have flooded that joint. The judges actually gave them a 30! This shit is fixed. She's always fucking winning. Not fair. Is Mop & Glo a main sponsor?! FIXED I tell you! If you can stomach it, the clip is below.
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Idk who this Gilles fellow is but he makes me HOT.
Oh Woz! I am sorry you had to go but you were so very painful to watch........No rythm what so ever. MK, I thought about you last night when the pros were dancing during the Boyz To Men number. At the end, all the pros were facing the stage and clapping for Boyz and Burke was still facing the audience taking a bow. What an akward moment! As I watched Burke and Giles dance last night, I couldn't help but think to myself...........these two have got to be having an affair! They wreak of sexual tendencies for EACH OTHER. Hmmmmmm
I blame MK for reigniting my interest in DWTS, just by hating on CHERYL BURKE so much. I had only watched the 2 seasons of the show in which she won with Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith, and i'm sure you guys know that MK will blow his load instantly upon hearing THE MOPHEAD has won her third trophy. We will be hearing this conspiracy theory shit for forfuckingever.
~You are a whore, darlin'. We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show them what they want to see.~
Me, too, cheetahstripes, although it would be the danish versions of these shows. Our Prime Minister's wife was in the danish version of Dancing with The Stars, so I couldn't avoid the newspaper headlines. It split the country (not really, few cared but it would be fun to see Michelle Obama on a show like this and watch the ensuing criticism).
I prefer So You Think You Can Dance (US and Australia versions) due to the not such a trainwreck aspect, lol.
yeah. I can't beeeeelieve I even watch this show let alone comment. But a ho gotta have a hobby so here goes.
1) The Woz has gotta go and his schitck has worn thin. Enough with the nerd. We are getting down to brass tacks and that muthafucka can't move. And he never knows when to shut his face hole. Prattle, prattle, prattle. Fucking introver, Aspergers numnut. Fuck. Put down the donuts.
2) I am first to hate on a bleach blonde bim but I gotta say. My heart goes out to HollyHo. She is not as dumb as she looks. Bitch can't shake a tail feather worth shit. I have seen ducks in a pond with more ass action than this broad. Still, beats that Segway ridin' computer blabber mouth all to fuck.
3) Do NOT diss on that hot piece of French quiche, Gilles. Ladies, that man made the tango so hot I had to set my naughty bits in a bucket of ice to cool off after watching that man smoke up the floor. Nuff said.
I'm the only person at my damn job who doesn't watch either American Idol or DWTS.
And Steve sounds like Stewart Smalley when he's talking to that crowd...
Okay, I've never watched this show even once, but I felt like watching the clips in this post.
The quality in the Cheryl Burke video posted is really shit, so I found this one instead:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh76S9ZMaM4
I never thought she was that cute, but seriously I cannot hate on someone who dances like that and can choreograph so well. That was fucking sexy. And I've always thought the tango looked goofy before I saw that.
Ever saw a one sorta like this one on
___ AffluentMeet.com ____
It's where romancing with the rich singles!
i feel sick...15 seconds in, the woz was doing the inch worm...barf...
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nice ass...when does it open?
I swear if Gilles Marini does the nasty with MOPHEAD, it will ruin my dreams of having him be my baby's daddy and I will have to destroy MOPHEAD. He better wash his pieces after dancing close to her! Don't want to catch Mophead-arhea!
The Woz and who else?
~You are a whore, darlin'. We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show them what they want to see.~
The Woz got cut. :(
I don't understand how this show works... do the fans decide who wins next week? When do you find out? I just watched the clip and A) I cannot BELIEVE how cheesy that show is and how poor the graphics are, and B) now I want The Woz to take it all the way because those judges were really mean to him and sometimes it's just not enough to go and cry into all of your billions. Oh yeah, and C) I DEFINITELY can't believe that there are still people that insist that The Woz is straight. I mean, really.
I do not like the judges on DWTS or Samantha(aka ewok) for that matter they should really switch them each year. Sorry MK they deserved the 30...they rocked! And when is the last time you watched the show??!! Come on, I mean last time Cheryl won was several seasons ago...Julianne took up the hot streak when she came on. But she's no longer red hot. This season is anyones to win...although the cheerleader chick might just go all the way. Anyway, MK breathe deep and let it go.
I don't watch this shit so I get my updates from here or the Soup, did Holly get another 666?
Holly has a turkey-gobble laugh, it upsets my dog a little, but I think it's annoying & funny.
That man is so gay, I expect to see him in a pride parade this year.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:50pm.
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YES! As soon as I saw 'bitty', I had to cross my legs for fear of pissing myself. HAHAHAHA!! I wonder if Steve Wozniak was bitty-fed??
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You know the ho was chompin on his chamois.
(Courtesy of coiled-n-hissing)
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:40pm.
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Hehehehehe...have you seen this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XGonnqcU-U&feature=related
I'm sure Steve would like it.
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:40pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:33pm.
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*gasping*...hahahahahahahhahahahaa.....no, I hadn't seen that one..and maybe Steve hasn't either..hahahahahahhaa
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:40pm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pdl32t4vgU
HAHAHAHAHA. Crap, that's funny. I am tearing up at work.
The judges could've said, "You're a virgin who can't drive,"
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I almost missed that one! MK, you're so clever. I haven't watched Clueless in ages.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:33pm.
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Has he seen this one? I bet Steve Wozniak has. *trying desperately to stay on topic*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pdl32t4vgU
Tee hee...
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You know the ho was chompin on his chamois.
(Courtesy of coiled-n-hissing)
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:33pm
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Randy as a CUCUMBER? Pffft! How could a cucumber be randy, it's a vegetable! Don't you mean randy as a rutabaga?
On topic: Steve loves cucumber sandwiches, so I've heard.
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
I ♥ the Woz!
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you can probably have a more reasonable conversation with a fucking burnt rutabaga than with that bag of crazy. - MK
You can only hold it so long before crunchy gets soggy. - TITS
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:33pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:30pm.
How many hands is one hundredweight?
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I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with a bushel.
As in: A Steve Wozniak in the hand is worth two in the bushel.
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You know the ho was chompin on his chamois.
(Courtesy of coiled-n-hissing)
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:30pm.
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IG that's my fave avie. Although one time my 13 year old caught sight of a nude Bubbles on TV and he ran out of the room wimpering.
hahahahahaha..still makes me chuckle.
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:30pm.
How many hands is one hundredweight?
Joe: The idiom is "randy as a cucumber." I don't need to explain, do I?
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:18pm.
Blimey. That's rich.
It is, but you need to convert gold drachmas to the dollar to get a handle on it. Which may require maths.
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Either that, or litres into hundredweights. :)
Thruppence?
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You know the ho was chompin on his chamois.
(Courtesy of coiled-n-hissing)
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:24pm
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As long as it doesn't involve fractions, I'm calm as a cucumber.
*sweating*
Edited to add: Are cucumbers cool or calm?
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
"Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:20pm.
I don't watch this show either. But I was just watching TMZ (I was too lazy to find the remote) and they were showing the guy who was dancing with Shawn Johnson had wood."
Oh my god! He so did!
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Put the GO in GOKEY!
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Need some "Chocolate Thunder?" Click here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK0d2P9Hbv4
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:18pm.
Blimey. That's rich.
It is, but you need to convert gold drachmas to the dollar to get a handle on it. Which may require maths.
I don't watch this show either. But I was just watching TMZ (I was too lazy to find the remote) and they were showing the guy who was dancing with Shawn Johnson had wood.
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:13pm
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Blimey. That's rich.
*batting eyelashes at sweet, genuine Steve*
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
how much did he have to pay people not to be eliminated yet
...looks like he needs a good cleanse
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Ptcruiser,
That is a good question. I won't even begin to pretend I know what goes on in MK's head. But maybe she rubs him the wrong way. Or maybe he wonders how the chick made it. Or maybe she reminds him of someone. Maybe it is her face.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 6:09pm.
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Thanks Momus :)
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 5:45pm.
I think he's adorable. He's sweet and funny and genuine.
Not to mention rich as Croesus.
me likey lil' kim best with her tangoing, plus she looked like a lady!
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What fresh hell is this?
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 5:40pm.
MK I'm far more intrigued by your diet then the celebrities you write about. For example, what is this: frozen Mother's Circus Animal Cookies? I get that they're cookies, but why are they frozen? Are they plain, iced or what? Someone?
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A long time ago, in thread far far away, MK mourned the fact the Mother's Cookies had gone bankrupt and his beloved Mother's Animal Cookies (drenched in white or pink icing with sugar pellets ingrained in the icing) would be no more. Many dlisters, who happen to be privy to MK's address (which I am not), sent him numerous bags of the cookies which he keeps in his freezer.
Although, Keebler claims to have revived the Animal Cookies, no word yet whether they live up to Mother's' standards. Doubt it, though.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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I registered just to ask this very important question:
Does Michael K really detest Cheryl Burke? Or does he secretly adore her? Is this some subversive mode of adulation that's going over my head?
Anyone know why MK loathes her so much? Don't get me wrong. I can't stand her. Thing is: I'm not 100% sure why she rubs me the wrong way. Usually, I know my own mind, but with her - it's this drifting malodor of ick that wafts up to my nostrils and turns me into a mouth-breather.
Most of the times, she's a crap dancer - compared to the other pros. But there's gotta be more for why I dislike her. What confuses matters is I like her mop hair. It's the only thing I like about her.
Gilles is the only reason i started watching this show.
And am i the only one who kept thinking he looked like Antonio Banderas in 4 rooms?
I kept expecting gilles to say, Did they, Misbehave?
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Busybeeblogger
Team Woz! The Geeks shall inherit the Earth!
Am I the only one in the world who doesn't watch this fucking show? It looks stupid. And, I hate Cheryl Burke too. Ugly bitch. Why do people like this show so much?
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 5:50pm.
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Prang! I haven't heard that word in years.
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
paging chris hanson for some serious intervention with mark ballas! Pole Dancing with the Stars.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 5:40pm.
MK I'm far more intrigued by your diet then the celebrities you write about. For example, what is this: frozen Mother's Circus Animal Cookies? I get that they're cookies, but why are they frozen? Are they plain, iced or what? Someone?
--MK probably stored his cookies in the freezer to prolong their life...then got a severe attack of the munchies and couldn't wait the 2 minutes for them to thaw.
And today he's prolly got an appt at the dentist to fix a pranged fang.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 5:21pm.
I'm sorry, but the words "sexy Argentinian tango" and "Steve Wozniak" do not belong in the same sentence. Cringe!
True. His heirs have been encouraging him to exert himself more.
Karina's body is perfect...I love the way she moves and even though everyone hates Cheryl, she does dance very well. I hope Holly goes home, she makes me sick. I missed it last nite, cause I have to get my weekly fix of Intervention.