Drunks Are Smart!
Building a motorized bar stool (with a wheelie bar!!) seems like a genius idea. You just get on, go to the bar, drive inside, booze your troubles away and then head on home. Your lazy ass doesn't even need to move off the seat! That's what 28-year-old Kile Wygle of Ohio probably thought to himself until he failed by crashing that shit near his house. Because he wasn't driving one of those car things, Kile probably thought he outsmarted the po pop and wouldn't get in trouble. So he called 911, because he kind of fucked himself up when he crashed.
The Smoking Gun says that when the cops arrived, Kile pointed to his homemade hillbilly ride and said he wrecked his bar stool. Kile also admitted that he could go around 40mph on the thing if he wanted to, but was only going 20 when he ate it. Kile failed a bunch of sobriety tests and told the cops he had a lot of booze in his body. He was arrested and charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license.
Kile deserves to get the stool thrown at him in court! And the stool shoved up him in jail, because when the cops started giving his bar stool mobile the side-eye, he should've known something was up. That's when he should've slowly backed away from his contraption and said, "Um. Did I say that was mine? Yeah, I'm kind of cloudy in the head from falling and all. I've never seen that before in my life. The bar stool isn't mine!" He needs to watch more Cops!
Kile also needs to take this shit to the next level. Fuck the motorized bar stool! Build me a motorized bar....and a motorized bed....and a motorized toilet, so I never have to walk again!
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All drunks know you should stick to the Hoover Round.. dude what were you thinking?
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
This shit was The Shot of the Day on Mah Boo's show.
Anderboo really enjoyed it.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Theres an idiot born in every state.
This ride is answer to GM's prayers.
And let me be first in line to order one.
Cheers!Sante!
Ever saw a one sorta like this one on
___ AffluentMeet.com ____
It's where romancing with the rich singles!
a name like Kile Wygle and expect genius?? ahaha
poor dude never had a chance
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¿¡Por qué no te callas!?
HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!! I work at the daily newspaper that first reported this. I can't believe it just made my FAVORITE blog. oh man. and for the record, i don't live in newark. :)
Props to the fukktard for not crawling into a real car and driving.
But Kile (mommy must have chugged a few too many too), if you feel the need to make a motorized stool MAKE THE CALL!
~A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.~
*Douglas Adams*
This reminds me of this bitch on one of those motorized scooters. We were all standing, waiting for the light to change and she fucking pushed her way past everyone standing on the curb and went right out into the street before the light had even changed. I was like "Bitch has a death wish." And then she sped along, beeping at people in her way, almost clipping a few.
I think she was probably just mad at people who can walk.
And another bitch on one of those things got on the bus at 14th Street and got off at 20th. I was like "Bitch, you're on wheels ALREADY. It's not like you have to WALK 7 blocks. Can't you just RIDE?"
Edit: I'm talking about the Hoveround things, not the scooters kids ride.
I was wondering what happened to that little Stool in the
Bathroom ;p
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
kile's almost as much of a hero as shamwow vince ;p
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Floridians and Louisianans breathe a sigh of relief.
TEE, when I read your story about your mother-in-law, I laughed so hard I almost spewed Dr. Pepper all over my monitor. That's an effing classic!
only in Ohio
I guess my state needs to give Florida a run for it's money. calling cops on yourself is sheer, breathtaking genuis.
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Fucka Doodle Doo!
LOL, KD. Where I live he would've been ticketed for having a headlight out as well. Butt this is why I love M.K. He reports on the news I really care about.
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It's grilled cheese samich, hunny buns, not girl cheese.
NOw THATS really falling off your barstool...One tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila PAVEMENT!
If it were here, he would have gotten a ticket for not wearing his seatbelt, too.
I... want one.
emlarue
http://iminparentheses.blogspot.com/
bwahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhaa
awesome.
Kile? I've never seen it spelled that way.
walking is always best when drunk.
and it leads to just as good adventures. falling in the ditch, yelling at a neighbors dog, hiding in the bushes, the list goes on....
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Dude this story reminds me of my mother in law, she's those ladies that think they are still 15 years old. My sister in law had bought those motorized scooter/razor things and my MIL got on it instead of gripping the brake she revved the gas and took off down the alley from where we live and crashed the back of the neighbors house ended up with a sprained ankle. She had to lie to my FIL and told him she was mopping and slipped on the wet floor.
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I think I need to give up porn for awhile...
At first I thought the only only person Kyle could hurt was himself. But if that bar stool could reach 40 MPH, he could have done somebody some damage.
Wait just a fucking minute
This fucking douchetard called the cops on himself? Why???
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"That being said, I'd hit it with a maxi-pad stuffed in his mouth." (MK)
Where is the tap?
LMAO! What pisses me off is you can even get a DUI riding your damned bicycle. I LIVE AT THE BEACH!!!!
Grrrrrrrr.
Note: I have not gotten a dui!
Kile, Kile, Kile ::sigh:: you almost reached genius status with me. Why'd you have to go call the Po Po?
I really like this project because I suspect it is the most creative thing Kile will ever embark on. I hope he keeps it to show to his kids and grandkids. And the fact that his name is Kile Wygle just makes the story even better... it's like something out of Reno 911.
DUI's on golf carts or barstools is such bullshit. Cops could be such fags
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"You know, and we know, and you know that we know that it's nonsense"-Daniel Hannan
Ha ha ha! Kile Wygle or Motorized Bar Stool for Hot Slut of the Day!
You have to admit, this IS inventive. But Kyle prolly skipped many AA meetings building this thing.
Of course he was drinkin!! WTF else are you supposed to do on a stool????
* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN * * * *
calling the cops was really the stroke of genius
.
Build me a motorized bar....and a motorized bed....and a motorized toilet, so I never have to walk again!
Might be easier & cheaper just to get a tan & have Brangelina adopt you. Same end result.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Somewhere George Jones is jealous as hell.