HoHan's PornMobile
So, when HoHan was first seen driving around in a $100,000 Maserati, I immediately figured SamRo was leasing it for her in exchange for nightly clit gnawing sessions. Well, I was wrong. TMZ says they know who that butt plug of a car belongs to. It's owned by some dude named Dennis DeSantis who is in the sex selling game. DeSantis is a porn producer who has put together some of the most elegant works of art including Butt Sluts and Origami So Horny.
After HoHan's assistant busted the car by driving into a Subaru, DeSantis just shrugged it off, paid the $10,000 for it to get repaired and allowed our little cokey fauxmosexual to keep driving it. DeSantis also claims he lent her the car just because. There's no strings attached. Uh huh...... There's always strings attached. And these strings are attached to the end of a double-sided dildo, because that's what HoHan's going to have to put in her ass in order to pay DeSantis back.
We've always joked that HoHan is sitting first class in the Crackwhore Train to hardcore porn. I wouldn't be shocked if when I was trolling the adult section of my video store, I saw HoHan's diarrhea face on the cover of titles like: Labia Pains, Confessions Of A Teenage Oral Queen, The Pussy Trap, Just My Fuck, Meat Girls, A Prairie Whore Companion and Freaky Friday.
White Oprah will be so proud. No, she really will be. I wasn't being sarcastic.
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"Oragami so Horny"
that is the greatest title ever.
ahahahaha i nearly pissed my pants laughing
Totally thought that was Robert Pattinson. Wow.
Butt Sluts II, featuring Lindsay Lohan. Just wait.
so she DOES have a job! lying wench...
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¿¡Por qué no te callas!?
XD at the porn titles!
If Blohan keeps this up she might actually find work again! Come on, Linds, it's where all the washups end up.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
Oh, and maybe the Maserati will make a cameo appearance in one of the flicks, for a remake of "Beep Throat"
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
That beaten-down SamRo looks like the Grim Reaper in that car. I mean, more than usual. If I saw that blood-sucking, zombied mess driving toward me, I think my whole life would flash before me and I'd have to write my will.
As for Hohan, surely she'd want to pay homage to classic porn. "Lindsay does Laughlin" and "Behind the Orange Door" come to mind.
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
YAWN! Blohan is such a has been.
I know this has been said before but ...Dana Plato II
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
I really shouldn't be enjoying someone's complete and utter failure at life this much....hahahahaha
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These other (HA!) just want to be me - Brit Brit
Me so Hohany.
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
A Prairie Bone Companion is more like it.
Is it just me, or does every fucking picture of SamRo look like she is a serial sex predator? I'm all for the butches you know, but you don't have to look like a fucking mass murderer either.
Why aren't these two left-wing Obmama lovers driving a green car?
Why don't they have solar-powered vibrators?
http://www.alistz.net
Hopefully she will end up on Hollywood Blvd hooking for real. That will make for a great THS on E! Especially if they catch her on her bruised knees (in her torn, worn out stockings) giving head to a 300 pound fatty with a dime bag clutched in her filthy hand.
Just when you think she's hit rock bottom, she finds some more loose soil and keeps on shovelin' down.
Georgia Tool
Peen Girls
Get a Screw
Lindsay Fully Loaded
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Halloween Jack is a real cool cat.
you forgot "i know who fucked me"
If she is gold digging she needs to up her game.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
$10k for a dislodged front bumper and MAYBE a dented fender?!?! Holy shit that body shop made off like effin' bandits.
Hohan has already debuted her amateur porn skillz in that grainy dick sucking camera phone vid so this is no shocker.
I am so bored of Hohan, and her bullshit.
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All the money in the world won't buy you peace of mind
You can have it all but you still won't be satisfied
-Annie Lennox "Money Can't Buy It"
Ha, yeah, even in L.A. porn producers are given the side-eye.
I don't care how much money that car cost, it's ugly-it looks like a Buick (no offense to Buicks, of course). Totally overrated in the looks department, though I'm sure it rides like a dream.
The "the Crackwhore Train to hardcore porn" should be leaving the station shortly folks. Can't be worse than pimpin' fake bake spay and those hideous leggings.
every week there seems to be a post that involves making up porn movie names
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visit my art gallery :)
http://www.galleryhh.blogspot.com
I'd rather watch midget porn. There is NOTHING she could do in front of a camera that I would pay to see.If she were on free porn-I'd skip over it.Probably blowin' Dennis for 'blow.
Is that Death in the driver's seat?
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Submitted by devilgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:32am.
The closest I have been to watching House of Wax is seeing that photo of Zac Efrrons ears yesterday.
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EEEEEWWWWWW!!!
Please remind me of that around lunch time. It'll be great for my diet.
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
I don't know about fucking for cash, but I'd bet my life that she fucks for drugs.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
MJF: You are absolutely right. She did this to herself. Damn, can you imagine having a mentor like Tina Fey? & bitch threw it all away. Okay, I'm officially over my slight pangs of empathy. Thanks for setting me straight. ;-)
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
This bitch has been turning tricks for YEARS. Take a close look at all the men she is seen with, they are all older and disgusting. She is seen leaving clubs trashed and high as fuck, do you honestly think this bitch wouldnt fuck for $500? Cuz I know she would. This is how she will be able to keep living in L.A. L.A. Land and I am pretty sure one of her 'daddys' paid for her house too cuz the bitch was broke as fuck (apparently still is) then she ends up with a house. After living in a fuckin hotel for 3 years. She is just another skeezer who thought she would never be old news and here she is at 22 washed the fuck up sleeping with some porn director so she can drive and ugly Maserati. BUM BITCH.
'All you haters just walk on by.'-Donelle Jones.
This might be a good career move for her. Tracy Lords went from underage porn star to mainstream actress so Lilo's twist is underage mainstream actress to porn.
And cut to Blohan's porno tape surfacing. She'll probably get her own shitty reality show that NOBODY will watch.
With slimers like porn making types....ain't NOTHIN' "free". Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Her "friend" will probably jack one of MK's title ideas, too.
“You a motherfucker and ain’t all that.”
He doesn't want the car back because it is probably crawling with more crabs than any pier on the eastern seaboard!
Lohan is trash, pure adn simple. I cannot even defend this skanktard anymore!
Not that I ever tried!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
I hope Dennis DeSantis got the option leather protection package for the car. Tanner and mysterious fluids are a bitch to get out of carseats.
"clit-gnawing"??
*snapping thighs shut*
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Il faut à mon avis écrire pour plaire à un seul lecteur : soi-même.
Submitted by Farrah on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:28am.
The closest I have been to watching House of Wax is seeing that photo of Zac Efrrons ears yesterday.
I got to say Lohan career had potential and she and her family killed it
not the media she killed her own career
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by devilgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:21am.
I have never been angry when I watched a movie before, but that one was a first.
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my guess is that you never watched "House of Wax" or whatever the name of that crappy Parasite Hilton movie was. Or the Hottie and the Wonky.
(btw, i have not watched any of those. I'm afraid my stomach ulcer would explode)
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
And she wonders why her legitimate acting career is non exisistent...Why is she associating with these people? I even think Samro dragged her down a bit...Lohan is really ignorant.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:16am.
You're right. He's probably just keeping his "car" in her "garage".
Yes, thank you. She's not into men anyway.
Submitted by Farrah on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:17am
I have never been angry when I watched a movie before, but that one was a first.
That Samro is one ugly piece. If I were to go lezzie for a spell that bitch better be fuckin' hawt.
Ass2ass! How very "Requiem for a Dream." I wish she'd get her shit together but I have a feeling she's familiar with triple penetration for an 8-ball.
www.dreadpiratecuervo.blogspot.com
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Submitted by devilgirl on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:07am.
You forgot, "I know who drilled me"
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BWAHAHAHAH!!!
i stumbled on that shit the other day and i couldn't help watching, just to enjoy watching HoHan's coke sweat dripping down the stripping pole, and then some Blue Guy (my hero) cuts that bitch. I laughed my ass off all thru that "drama"
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 9:13am.
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You're right. He's probably just keeping his "car" in her "garage".
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Wow, he's a superhuman moron...
How does she want people to take her ass seriously if she does shit like cruise around in a 100K car for show, that she did nothing (nothing savory at least) to earn? She went off the handle at some paps for taking pictures of her going out because it would negatively affect her image to employers, but then you can tell she eats stuff like this right up. The sooner she really washes up and hits rock bottom the better, I say.
I don't like your insinuations. He's probably just a nice, giving gentleman who wanted to help a young actress navigate the mean streets of West Hollywood in an all-white Italian car.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 03/31/2009 - 8:58am.
Isn't this exactly where she belongs. she has no other career to speak of.
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What- totally busted and broke down by the curb? Sounds about right.
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Wow, he's a superhuman moron...