What's Long, Douchey And Full Of Seamen?
John Mayer kicked off his annual Mayercraft Cruise in Long Beach, CA yesterday looking like he wandered in from the set of a 70s fuck flick called The Love Motorboat. John's pussy does look tight, though. However, those shorty shorts are making his thighs look wonky as all fuck! It's the way he's standing, but one looks way bigger than the other. It's like the douchefat from one of his thighs tried to escape and ended up getting stuck in the other. I have to go look in a mirror to make sure my thighs don't do this, because you know how I like to work the nut cutters in the summertimes.
I'm sure this just one of many LOOKATMEMEMEME costumes John will wear while on the Tampon of the Sea's 4-day cruise to Mehico. I also hope that for John's sake they have a Twitterdiction support group on the motherfucking boat, because he will have to go hours without dropping his caca nuggets on the internet. Although, John totally shrugs off his obsession.
John recently told E! News that he's just going through a phase, "It’s inherently silly and it’s inherently dumb. If you really think that Twitter is the pathway to spiritual enlightenment, well...It’s one step away from sending pictures of your poop. I don't have a devotion to Twitter. I didn't sell out to Twitter. You do Twitter until everybody gets off of Twitter and it's something else you go and try out."
I think one of those quotes got twisted in the wash, because what he really said was that he totally gets off on Twitter. He loves to have unprotected, dirty, nasty sex with his Twitter. Also, the whores that would think Twitter is the "pathway to spiritual enlightenment" don't exist, because they spend hours trying to figure out how to turn on their computer before they finally fuck it off and go play with a leaf instead.
And John is also wrong about the poop comment. I've been posting shit on the internet long before I twittered.
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gross...that is all.
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
nice quad muscles.....that is the only thing I can say that will be nice.
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I've been traveling on this road too long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone
Dead and gone
- T.I. and Justin Timberlake
I'll bet if he turned around, there is a a big bullseye right on the back of those shorts.
he could be the male version of madonna, Mayerdonna or Vadge-ayer
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I think he is a closet homosexual. That is why he keeps breaking up with Maniston.
miso-horny,
Sadly, you are probably right! *shivers*
WAIT a effin minute!?!?! Does this mean's he left the triplets with Jennifer???
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This would be a great drinking game: drink everytime someone uses the word douche, in any context, to describe John Mayer. *has Captain Morgan standing by*
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"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
look at those shorts! now he's teasing the gay men, the hose bag
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Submitted by Clarisse on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 12:01pm.
I'll give him credit for constantly surprising me. Just when I think he could NOT POSSIBLY get any douchier...BAM!
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Oh no, you underestimate him. I am sure there is more to come. The Douche Express is going full speed.
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"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
This guy has over 300,000 people following him on twitter. What the fuck his wrong with them? His music sucks and he's a douchebag.
http://www.Alistz.net
what in the hell is wrong with him? i think he's trying to break into acting or some dumb shit.
please, someone adjust his meds. too much prozac or whatever
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so very 'village people'.....or chippendale's stripogram
ewwww.....bleaghhhhhh
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
I hope they all get a bad case of rotavirus.
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Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons.
I'll give him credit for constantly surprising me. Just when I think he could NOT POSSIBLY get any douchier...BAM!
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He wants to reinvent the Village People, with the new kid on the block Captain Stubing.
He's inherently douchey.
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Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons.
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