ShamWow Vince Will Slap Chop A Ho!
There are a million other uses for a ShamWow towel that we just don't know of. It can be used to clean up chunky doody off the floor after your asshole got a little too into it during butt sex. It also can be used to clean up barf that fell out of your mouth while you were having a seizure after ODing. AND you can use it to wipe up blood from a hooker's face after you beat her down because she tried to bite your tongue off! Vince should really show us the last one in his informercials, because it happened to him. A testimonial!
The Smoking Gun reports that the methed out version of Billy Mays was arrested in Miami last month after he got into a brawl with a hooker! It all started when Vince picked up the pussy peddler, Sasha Harris, at a night club. The two new lovebirds went back to his room at the Setai Hotel where Sasha told Vince it would cost him $1,000 to slap and chop her snatch. Vince agreed, and so the fun and games began. While they were making out, Vince told the police that Sasha bit down on his tongue and wouldn't let go. This caused Vince to punch her several times until she let go. Once Vince had his tongue back in his own mouth and was able to get away, he ran crying and screaming into the lobby. Ahaha! Why do I picture the front desk bitch screaming, "Hey! You're the ShamWow dude!" while Vince was whining about his tongue almost getting bitten off. Oh, it's times like this that I really love being alive.
The police were called and both were arrested for felony aggravated battery. Prosecutors later decided to not file formal charges against either of them. Sasha said she might file a lawsuit against Vince to get a little bit of his ShamWow money. And no, she doesn't love his nuts.
I didn't peg Vince as the make-out type. I would think he would want to bust a mess all over that whore as soon as possible, so that he could mop it up with his handy ShamWow. You know that's the part that reaaaally turns him on.
Vince's mug shot was sponsored by the Department of Meth FACES. Damn fuck! If only Vince could use one of his magical ShamWow towels to wipe the meth damage off his mug.
And somewhere in America, Bill Mays' peen is getting raw from jacking off to this story over and over again, because he knows the cops used OxiClean to get the blood out.
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Everybody should just listen to Billy Mays
~"Hey nice Bitch", I wasn't talking about the dog. LOL J- your horrible~
I hate him even more because at first glance, I thought this was Benicio Del Toro!
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Wow, once a sham, always a Sham.
I cannot believe this man is fucking 44! he looks 28, max, on his commercials. I bought one today, btw. Slapping hookers is my favorite past time and I thought I should support a mofocka who does it.
Billy Mays totally SET THIS WHOLE THING UP.
Doooode.I have had THE WORST weekend EVER!
That just made me laugh so fucking hard♥
I Looooooooves You,MK♥
Submitted by Green Is Good on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 9:34am.
Or at least take her to a deli first. If she orders the pastrami sandwich combo with tongue, bail immediately.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
GIG, or at least go through a high class Escort Service!
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Cause we belong together now yeah, forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me, and honestly
My life would suck without you
-Kelly Clarkson
Submitted by Green Is Good on Sun, 03/29/2009 - 9:34am.
Note to Sham Wow guy: NEVER hire a hooker. I don't care how horny you are. Rent a porno movie and masturbate instead. Then you won't have a crazy bitch in your hotel room.
Yeah. One, I dint know he was wealthy from those dumb commercials. Two, if you're wealthy and well-known, why do you have to hire a hooker? Couldn't he get laid by hanging out at the hotel bar? That's why I think this had a drug component: maybe he brought her to the room to get high and perhaps have sex, then she demanded to be paid?
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Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons.
Note to Sham Wow guy: NEVER hire a hooker. I don't care how horny you are. Rent a porno movie and masturbate instead. Then you won't have a crazy bitch in your hotel room.
He can always get a career in fast food. He already has the drive-through headset.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
"No, you can't pay me with a Sham Wow!"
We will see how quickly Sham-Wow cleans him up until his career dissapears.
she looks like the poor mans gwyneth paltrow
Sham-Whoa obviously has somehow gotten into a fight with that new chopper that he's been peddling and his face is the result. This whole hooker thing is just a cover up. I mean look at the smile on her face!
Hold it right there MK, everyone and there pimp knows that bitches on the stroll DO NOT do Kissy Face. It is rule number one, that or get the money first. This bitch was just a random slut. Believe me, I know where of I speak. This dude is a fool.
"Does anyone else smell astroglide?"
'Stewie' on 'Family Guy'
total meth face. even worse than Lohan.
Don't know if this has been said before, but is that a fucking hospital gown he's wearing beneath that robe/sweater/whatever?
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"It's not true I had nothing on ~ I had the radio on."
he might still be able to hit it.
she looks like amanda detmer from Boys & Girls with Freddie Prinze Jr.
Jenna Girl....I hear ya....Vince just wanted a little lovin' and he just picked the wrong freak..that's what happens when you hit the pipe....youre judgement is in the crapper...I'm sure if Sham Wow Vince was more lucid he woodna picked another meth head....she prolly thought when Vince put his tongue in her mouth he was serving cold cuts for a snack....
girls' gotta eat!
...gaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwdddddddddd Sham WOW Vince....who wooda thunk it....makes me wonder what's under Billy Mays beard...that might be his coke hive.....
That is definitely not a 1000 dolla punanny. Then again what would a 1000 dolla piece of punanny look like?
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"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
Wow, he's such a hottie
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"Today could be the day I'm mistaken for someone important."
I don't know what I find to be more hysterical, the fact that SHE charges $1000 and obviously people will pay that. Or the fact that she looks happier then a pig in shit in her mug shot. Only in Florida.
HOLY SHIT to make this even more HYSTERICAL I just got a pop up for SHAM WOW AS SEEN ON T.V. as I am typing this. Lol.
'You will say WOW every time.' ShamWow
i heard many celebrities have a account on __ClassyMingle.com.__ and yesterday i found many people's account there are many their private photo and some insider..
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 2:43am.
Me too. Something about him screamed "tweaker" as soon as I saw him. Or annoying douche, sometimes I get those confused.
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Exquisite Lucite Heels Appreciation Society
Why does that woman remind me of a methed-out version of the anorexic beauty queen in the wheelchair lip-synching 'Don't Cry Out Loud' from "Drop Dead Gorgeous"?
"Elizabeth, how does one suck a fuck?"
She got some penitentiary poon!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by miso-horny on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 10:11am.
If Willem Defoe and Gollum had a child= ShamWow Guy
Good call, Miso. He is one Creepy McSkuzzy. And his chosen ho looks like she could give a rat's ass about being busted. Skeery.
“You a motherfucker and ain’t all that.”
If Willem Defoe and Gollum had a child= ShamWow Guy
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"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
Submitted by Whatever on Fri, 03/27/2009 - 11:07pm.
They both look like they are crawling with std's.
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YES!
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Minxowin
ShamWOW! The E! True Hollywood Story
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"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
This is going to hurt his credibility.
Submitted by starr on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 1:47am.
lmao..dis shamwow guy looks just like McNulty from "The Wire"
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LMAO!! don't do McNulty like that!
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"I fucking drink beer and party!"
I survived Hurricane Ike!!!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 12:28am.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 12:24am.
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 12:11am.
I've never seen a hooker look so pleased in a mugshot.
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Obviously, you've never seen mine. Or Nitty's.
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I've seen both. Obviously, Vince didn't give either of you the free set of steak knives.
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Hahahaha! Thank god they don't b/c they both have exceptional shanking skills. It's best not to arm these hookahs.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 8:02am.
Nasty what happens to people after such a short period of time.
*looks at self in mirror before and after morning coffee*
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
My friend chat with celebs on the hottest dating
place..wealthyfish.com..First i can't trust it,then i signed there.It's true.Exciting.
kiwikim:
http://www.facesofmeth.us/main.htm
Roll your mouse over the mugshots...
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by blueice059 on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 5:15am.
I hope I can be a cinderella of someone. My friend recommend me a millionaire dating site
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Oh it's the poor chinese spammer dude. It's 6:03 p.m. in China. Doesn't Chairman Mao give you a break for dinner?
Submitted by TT99 on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 5:11am. wish the Police/MK off got their obsession with brows and took mug shots of nails with the airbrushing decals and stuff. I'm quite quite sure hers were stunning, but we'll never know
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I don't know 'bout that. She don't look like no gussied up 'ho to me. I think she be looking at her nails and looking at the meth pipe and thinking her nails would be a gettin' ruined by hand jobs anyway-so why waste the money.
I hope I can be a cinderella of someone. My friend recommend me a millionaire dating site
**** AffluentMeet.com ***
where I can meet millionaires. It's really a hot place and just for millionaires or admires.
Inform me: What exactly does meth do to change your face so much? I see the scabs, but it's something more. Does it dry you out really bad or something? They all just look like they've got no soul. Eyes or dead. Is it just the same thing as when you see a corpse? It's the same body but the person is just gone.
I wish the Police/MK off got their obsession with brows and took mug shots of nails with the airbrushing decals and stuff. I'm quite quite sure hers were stunning, but we'll never know. Sorry, I'm from Jersey...
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Submitted by LASux on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 4:10am.
Florida Ho's don't like it when you put one in the stink and then one in the pink.
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OMG. I can not breathe.
Submitted by starr on Sat, 03/28/2009 - 1:47am.
lmao..dis shamwow guy looks just like McNulty from "The Wire"
Nah, he looks more like Ren: Compare so...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29098681@N08/
https://dvd.easycinema.com/easy/images/products/4/71134-large.jpg
Florida Ho's don't like it when you put one in the stink and then one in the pink.
He paid 999 dollars too much..that's was a busted up ho before he touched her.Gross!
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
That's true, T.V. Very true. I'm not even sure I'd pay $1,000 for a date with PP. Maybe $100.
I knew from the very first moment I saw this tool,and I saw his whole glockenschpiel yada yada yada I KNEW he was a total Faces of Meth..
Billy Mays is behind all this lol
"You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls