And The Flat Irons Cry.....
While Pete Wentz is out partying, chugging his own piss and doing douche bag stuff, Asshole Simpson is sitting at home alone with Bronx Mowgli giving her major bitchface. He's still not over that NOT FUNNY name. Because Asshole only has Bronx's evil eye to keep her warm at night, she's fucking pissed that her twatardian husband is out living it up.
A source told Page Six that there's trouble in doucheland, "Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks. He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home. It's just not working." Of course, their spokesbitch denies this.
I agree that it's not working. You know what else isn't working? Them being parents. They already failed the first test with the name. So everyone should just go their separate ways. Asshole can crawl back under Papa Joe's sweaty ballsack. Pete can grab his dildo and retire to the Hot Topic storage shelf that has had his name on it for years. And Bronx Mowgli can swing into the jungle where the wolves and Baloo are waiting to raise him.
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They aren't working out? What a shock. Both these douche bags need to crawl under Joe's sweaty ball sack and never come back out.
Hopefully she'll have a massive meltdown and pull out of Melrose Place redux and then I'll be able to watch it.
I seriously just belly laughed while reading this...
xxxSUCKITxxx
if these two dullards had just used a condom then they wouldn't be whining about the mess they're in now...no sympathy...
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nice ass...when does it open?
I don't think the name Bronx is too bad. The middle name sucks though.
Hekki> I'm a female and I feel that way, too. I find babies boring. I don't get the "maternal urge" thing, except maybe toward other adults. But I'm guessing I'm a bit of an anomaly.
Please G-d let this be true. I need something to give me a good dose of schadenfreude. Lohan's movie debuting on basic cable wasn't enough to do it.
ps - following pete wentz's twitter is gay.
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Better Living Through Chemicals!
Um, it's not working because he is gay .....
I should slap myself for ever considering getting married and still being in my early 20's..people I know who are only a couple of years younger and older than me who got married are either divorced or in marriage counseling...some with children in the mix, it's unfortunate.
I think that most people 20+ who get married only do it b/c: Partner is in the military, Pregnancy, or both.
But I seriously think it's b/c they want to have the damn wedding. It's hard not to fantasize what it would be like.
The most disgusting part is they had to bring that kid into their excuse of a life. Pathetic. Just goes to show that getting married just cuz you get knocked up is the WRONG thing to do 90% of the time.
Wow we never saw this coming....
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Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 1:42pm.
Word. What kind of new daddy is the primary care giver, anyway? It kills me that some women just expect their man to become a different person after a baby is born. They're wired differently than women, and aren't likely to respond well to sitting at home all day with a poopy, whiny, hungry infant. I have only known a few men who actually stepped up and met their partners halfway with parenting duties, sadly enough. Most just expect their wives to take on the majority of the work, as well as do the same things that were done pre-baby (as in work outside of the home, clean, cook, stay slim and trim, etc, etc.).
Historically, men are m.i.a. when it comes to raising kids. They're really very little more than sperm donors most of the time. I know some men are wonderful parents, but unfortunately I don't see much of it.
End rant.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
Master Blaster, I agree. Pete would be EXCELLENT in his portrayal of Sam Ronson, a girl on the other side of the fence -- a boy trapped without a penis!! Pete would definitely relate!
What out Hillary Swank, Pete's after your Oscar!
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Oh, you mean the same stuff that 9 out of 10 new parents go through?
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 11:50am.
And I want to SMACK that model in the chickdowntown ads on the right. That's what amateur models do to look "sexy".
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LOL!!
A divorce? Hope it's messy.
Come and join hot tall dating club _____Tallmingle.com_____ has lots of sports fans there! besides, it's hot modelss, milfs, sexy chick s and handsome young men and chicks dating club!!LOL Don't miss out!! :-)
So she married a giant douchebag and then has the nerve to whine about it when he acts like a douchebag.
They should get a divorce just because it would amuse us even more...
I agree that they probably caught celeb baby fever & she just had to get pregnant & give it a stupid ass name & get all that attention & now that the baby is here & has been here for a little while the attention has died down & there is nothing left for them except for this damn baby they have to deal with all the time. I am sure they love it & all, but everyone knows a baby can single handedly annihilate all sex: including anal, partying & doing drugs, time alone because there are always resentments, shopping for shit you dont need...everything these douches live for...
Submitted by HollyG on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 12:46pm.
How classy. I know quite a few people like this. It's like they wanted to ruin what could have been a nice, (non re)productive, and successful life. Not saying that kids ruin lives, but that at a young age, when you're not ready to be tied down, and you have nothing going for you...then yeah. Some people just need to chill. Your uterus will still be in the same place ten years from now.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
Ahhh... this reminds me of a fun story about a friend: He met the girl of his dreams Summer 07, started dating immediately, moved into after less than a yr together, got her knocked up, she demanded they get married so she'd have insurance, refused to invite any of us to the 'wedding' (at city hall), stopped talking to everyone except our friends who were their neighbors, had a miscarriage but decided to try again despite NEITHER of them working full-time, got her pregnant one more time, found out she was cheating on/attempting to cheat on him and now they are working on a divorce.
And this is a good example of why people in their early 20s need to chill the fuck out with the marriages and babies.
"Bitch, please! It's fucking personal!"
I guess they thought playing house would be cute, but the novelty of it quickly wears off.
You know what's really not working?
That anyone still is talking about these idiots.
Shit, WTF is she whining about? The first 6 months I would have rathered my husband be fucking GONE all night! One less child to take care of. And you can SLEEP!
Don't these two look like they should play Sam and Lindsay in the Lohan biopic?
***Welcome to the Thunderdome***
...welcome to parenthood - the party is officially over....quit worrying about your hair and grow up now that you are making human beings...
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....proudly poisoning our men with Hungarian lemonade since 1926...
kanderso: Yeah. Men need more time to settle down, in general, I think. My BIL is DYING to have kids (he's almost 40) but my 28 y.o. SIL isn't ready. He can't get enough of my kids and treats their dog like it's his baby. It's kind of sweet.
I also think men are not that interested in *babies*, but they get more interested in them when they can DO stuff and be impressed with their dads.
Mr. Hekki used to feel that the kids were *mine* when they were babies because I was breastfeeding them and were only comforted by me, etc. Now that they are older, they have their own things that they go to him for, and that makes them much more *his*.
Hekki - I agree. A lot of my friends married guys a few years older (so now, mid-thirties) and they are excited for kids and more than willing to pitch in. They had 3 + decades to schlump around and be self-centered and drink too much and are ready to grow up. The guys who became daddies in their 20s? NOT GOOD. They freak. Actually, I know a few women who became mommies in their mid-20s and freaked out too.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
And I want to SMACK that model in the chickdowntown ads on the right. That's what amateur models do to look "sexy".
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 11:24am
"And another thing... Men do not feel the same way about babies and children that women do. They just don't. They get tired of watching babies coo and fart. They want to go out with their friends and drink. Especially when they're still in their 20s."
I don't know Hekki. I guess it depends on the man and where he is in life. I know men who really do enjoy being around their children. But as far as youngsters like these two, I totally agree. Family life is not always peachy. In fact, it can get pretty boring for both parents. So going out for drinks and hanging with friends... both parents need that.
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What What
I'd rather them not get deeeevorced; they have a kid.
That said, it's these two dumbasses and I can't work up that much concern.
I did like them one time: They were on The Dog Whisperer. I grudgingly respect anyone who has had the privilege of working with Caesar.
Oh, last thing: this whole post cracked my shit up. MK, you are truly gifted.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
Falkor: I know lots of dedicated dads in their 40s who really DO a lot of the childcare and hang out with the kids. They usually just age out of the party animal phase. And they would rather spend time with the kids when they're older and you can actually have a conversation with them and teach them to burp and and show them how to make paper airplanes and stuff.
But that's another thing that comes with maturity. Asslee is probably stifling him which makes him WANT to escape.
Short leash, loose collar. That's the trick.
Sanctity of marriage indeed.
Boring & uninteresting people like these two could go play in traffic for all I care.
mk, we need your tethered take on lily tomlin's blow out on that huckabee's shit set.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 11:27am.
Thank you snowy. I will admit that he cleaned up nice for this performance. I'm not into emo kids.
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For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
I can not stand them!He tries to be so edgy by drinking his pee pee but only looks like more of a douche.Ugh!
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Next please.
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 11:24am.
And another thing... Men do not feel the same way about babies and children that women do. They just don't. They get tired of watching babies coo and fart. They want to go out with their friends and drink. Especially when they're still in their 20s.
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Tell it girl! They absofuckinglutely do not!! The only men ive met who were happy about a pregnancy were either slack jawed yolkels who were easily amused or a guy who had married Jessica Alba's twin who he'd been dating since he was 10 and was DEEPLY..over many many years in love with.
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Beware Conficker worm come April 1!
Scan your computers bitches!!!
These two bore the sh** out of me..my eyelids immediately started to droop as soon as I laid eyes on this post..damn emo kids.
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 11:24am.
Word.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
fuzzy: watch the link in my siggy, we want to talk about this hot piece! LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB_fUEe5Eh0
Gee, they said it wouldn't last and were right.
Good God!!! AI! AI! AI! AI! Has anybody even cared about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz in months? They're not even fun to make fun of anymore! Blah.
What did she think was going to happen? That he would turn into a mature, responsible man? Ha.
And that's what happens when you trap a man by getting knocked up. I know it's not very liberated or feminist of me to say that, but it's true. I feel badly for her, because I think she just wanted to start her own life and get away from her parents. But now she's trapped in a whole different way.
And another thing... Men do not feel the same way about babies and children that women do. They just don't. They get tired of watching babies coo and fart. They want to go out with their friends and drink. Especially when they're still in their 20s.
Asslee prolly wants to leave the kid in the jungle....she looks happy and so fullfilled...Oooppss sorry..I meant so UNhappy and UNfullfilled....what was I thinking....I need another coffee....and the stuff the biologist in the next lab are cooking up..."brownies"
Well, I doubt that they are too broke to afford a babysitter every once in a while so that Asslee can "go out" too. Even if fucktard Wentz WAS home, what's the difference of him or a babysitter watching the kid?
I say that with the assumption that they definitely have a nanny already and that this is just a bullshit story, because she can go out any time she wants to.
In a perfect world, they would want to parent without hired help, but I don't see them in that light. So she can take her whiny sob story and spin a new one as to why their marriage is not working.
Neither one of them seems like the mature type who would eschew nannies and do it all on their own.
“You a motherfucker and ain’t all that.”
fuck can't we have another post now?
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it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
Why y'all bitches talking about American Idol? What happened? I don't watch that shit.
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For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
I cannot stand either of these talentless oxygen thieves.
MK, where if the AI thread?!?!?!!
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