Open Post: Hosted By The Grim Aniston
According to the paps, this is Jennifer Aniston wearing some kind of KKK/Orko from He-Man hood while leaving her hotel in NYC today to go shoot that movie about a bitch who makes love to a turkey baster or something.
I'm proud of my fingers, because I know they have the intense urge to type "This is the hottest she's ever looked!" Oops. They failed.
Who knows why Jenny decided to cause a mass amount of attention to herself by trying to look like she's hiding her chin from the cameras? Botox gone wrong? Her $60,000 hairstylist wasn't able to pass a blow dryer through her mop. Or it could be something simple like homegirl just has a herp sore on her mouth. Wait. You usually get those from mouth kissing another human being, right? Yeah, can't be that.
Speaking of herpes, when doing research for this non-story (I SWEAR), I found this question on the hilarious bible of all things hilarious: Yahoo Answers!
Can i get herpes from kissing a girl if she ONLY has it on her vagina?
ok me adn this girl were going out for about a week or so and we started kissing like a regular couple does and then i heard she has herpies i thought it was a rumor but i asked her and she said yeah she thinks, only on her vagina not on the mouth or cold sore and im worried cause im allergic to the metal on ur pants button and now my stomach itches is that the allergicness or acn herps spread even if not touched please help
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Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:56pm.
What program are you using?
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by yepyepyep on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:48pm.
Totally off topic topic I think
I want to have a baby so badly now :(
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Before you do that, work for a daycare center to see if you really are mommy material. Or, watch M.E.'s little darlings so that she can work.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Migraine, I have no idea what the topic is. I'm too busy in PDF hell trying to figure out how to create the document so when I send it to others, they can edit it.
UGH! I need Adobe for dummies.
I'm going through one of my I-don't-think-I-want-kids phases. So sometimes it worries my that my boyfriend likes J&K+8 so much.
Stoney, lol...yeah I think Uretha Cumshot is such a wonderfully unique name for a baby. It's goin' places you know...?!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:49pm.
Little Clitoris is still shitting herself and stuck in the second grade at 12, but I think she has real potential.
Damn, Nortons anti-virus didnt work when i cybergasmed ! :o)
Goodnight peeps, been funny. :)
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
The world doesn't need ANY MORE BABIES!
Goddamn!
Have a cyber kid with bastardo and STFU!
LOL
Oprah has Dr. Oz on, showing all these things that can prolong your life.
Or, rather, things that can prolong rich people's lives. It's barf-inducing, because lots of people don't even have health insurance, let alone health insurance that will cover hyperbaric chamber treatments for a stroke, or magic powder that can re-grow an entire finger. Infra-red saunas? A toilet that can analyze your urine?
This shit is amazing, but it's going to be 100 years before the average person will have access to it.
The only life-prolonging measure I can afford is the restricted-calorie diet. Which I believe will work. But it's certainly not for women of childbearing age, so....
The whole wanting a baby kinda creeps me out. I mean kids are okay but you need to have a good job and plenty of money to raise them. IT's not a dog or anything. I want a dog not a kid yet and I'm in my 30s already. I think that's reasonable (but I can't exactly afford a dog either).
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Submitted by yepyepyep on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:48pm.
Totally off topic topic I think
I want to have a baby so badly now :(
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Most of the guys I meet, no matter if I just met them in a club that night or have known them for a bit, try to eff me without a condom the very first time we get hot and heavy.
If your a bitch who just dosent give a fuck, go down to your local bar, pick up the first thing that hits on you and have some unprotected sex...
Or hop on the bang bus as they like to have unprotected sex on there as well...
If u have a BF, just tell him what you want and he prob would do it for you...
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smack. smack. sugar smack. give me a smack and ill smack ya back!
I thought Urethra Cumshot would be much kinder than calling her Mischa Barton.
dubble post. Ooopsie daisy!
yepyep, are you feelin the pressure because of all these people you know having babies or what?
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Submitted by yepyepyep on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:48pm.
You are way too young to have babies. Get out and experience life some more before you burden yourself with so much responsibility. Its not a chihuahua, ya know.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:45pm.
why didn't MY parents come up with such lovely names?? Lazy asses!
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
Little Clitoris is still shitting herself and stuck in the second grade at 12, but I think she has real potential.
Totally off topic topic I think
I want to have a baby so badly now :(
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:45pm.
Bastardo, I thought I should give you an update on our kid Clitoris Garbage Can El Bastardo. She's doing just fine, but she needs a sibling. Get that trouser snake over here and knock me up with Urethra Cumshot please.
Damn, you remembered our cyberkids name, hahahahaha !
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
O.K.
summer drink: Malibu rum punch
ElB: A right neighborly chap with an big package. I also know his real name
Jen Aniston: Next!
Cost of kids: Outrageously expensive
My lunch: Protein power plate from Zoe's Kitchen
:(
I never had a Kitchenaid.
I live in a '64 Airstream in Bumfuck West Virginia.
With a lean-to on the side made out of slab wood.
It's where I keep my computer.
My TV antenna is the biggest one on our dirt road tho. Thanks for the help, ElB!
I promise to return the favor.
Submitted by paris herpes on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:42pm.
El B, it depends how closely you live next to your neighbors, then I'd be impressed by the length of your cock.
Put it this way, i wouldnt like to walk there to borrow a cup of sugar!!
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
Bastardo, I thought I should give you an update on our kid Clitoris Garbage Can El Bastardo. She's doing just fine, but she needs a sibling. Get that trouser snake over here and knock me up with Urethra Cumshot please.
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:39pm.
El B would you mind scratching my back?
When you're done doing that could you please fold the cheese into my soufflè?
(with your massive man rod o'course)
No Problemo . Kitchenaid broke ? :)
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
El B, it depends how closely you live next to your neighbors, then I'd be impressed by the length of your cock.
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Good God I can't stop laughing. Thankyou for the good cheer.
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I believe the herp sores show up more when you're stressed if you have herpes. So you could still get herpes if you kiss someone who has herpes in her vagina. I think. But I'm not professional so whatevers.
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Plus, el bastardo is packing a puge henis, we're trading summer cocktail recipes, some folks are bitching about bills and neighbors, there was an extended conversation about having your own spawn, and there's a bunch of rednecks in here who eat roadkill.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:37pm.
Seen from space. Great Wall of China, Paris' feet and my DICK !
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And, Rumer Willis' chin.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:36pm.
Submitted by Falkor on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:32pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:12pm.
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 2:09pm.
People lie online? What!
Heeheeeheee.
I bet my 11" dick thats laying across my washboard abs that they dont`.
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ALLRIIIIIGGGHHHHTTTTTTTT!! I'll pick you up in my Mazzeray/ Maserra/ Maziraat/ my Ferrari.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LMAO
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Submitted by zomay on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:33pm.
El Bastardo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:30pm.
I just turned a light switch on with my enormous dick......next door.
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Lol, I have tears in my eyes. Hahaaahaaaa.
Yep, you would if you met me darling ! :o)
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
El B would you mind scratching my back?
When you're done doing that could you please fold the cheese into my soufflè?
(with your massive man rod o'course)
Seen from space. Great Wall of China, Paris' feet and my DICK !
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
@ Mom
And beautiful hot bitches..that too!
*fluffs hair*
Submitted by Falkor on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:32pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:12pm.
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 2:09pm.
People lie online? What!
Heeheeeheee.
I bet my 11" dick thats laying across my washboard abs that they dont`.
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Oooohhh. Im sure people would NEVER lie to me on here so lets hook up tomorrow night, ill fly to where ever you are and lay my perky DDD brest and taunt 22" waist with a Hally Berry face all over you!
ALLRIIIIIGGGHHHHTTTTTTTT!! I'll pick you up in my Mazzeray/ Maserra/ Maziraat/ my Ferrari.
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
LMAO @ El B
THUD THUD THUD...The attack of the fiddy foot dick..in Cinemascope, Technicolor and Spermovision.
Submitted by Zappy on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:32pm.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:24pm.
2nd request:
I'm back trollops. Someone catch me up please.
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Well, Jennifer Aniston is hiding because all of John Mayer's exes should hide in shame. M.E. has been doing Jello shots. El Bastardo has an 11' wiener, flaccid of course. Octomommy is a stupid bitch. Pete Doherty is a talented crackhead and has looked this way for years.The gumball machine has coke and heroin in it.Anybody can photoshop and Jake is still gay. The lady who was saved by her chiwawa is really a keebler elf and is being played by Mary Kate Trollsen in a Liftime made for TV movie. Ann Hathaway has a big face and her eyebrowsare fug.
That's it in a nutshell.
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You forgot that all Dlisters, especially MK, are wonderful human beings who look MAHvelous.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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El Bastardo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:30pm.
I just turned a light switch on with my enormous dick......next door.
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Lol, I have tears in my eyes. Hahaaahaaaa.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:24pm.
2nd request:
I'm back trollops. Someone catch me up please.
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Well, Jennifer Aniston is hiding because all of John Mayer's exes should hide in shame. M.E. has been doing Jello shots. El Bastardo has an 11' wiener, flaccid of course. Octomommy is a stupid bitch. Pete Doherty is a talented crackhead and has looked this way for years.The gumball machine has coke and heroin in it.Anybody can photoshop and Jake is still gay. The lady who was saved by her chiwawa is really a keebler elf and is being played by Mary Kate Trollsen in a Liftime made for TV movie. Ann Hathaway has a big face and her eyebrowsare fug.
That's it in a nutshell.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:12pm.
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 2:09pm.
People lie online? What!
Heeheeeheee.
I bet my 11" dick thats laying across my washboard abs that they dont`.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oooohhh. Im sure people would NEVER lie to me on here so lets hook up tomorrow night, ill fly to where ever you are and lay my perky DDD brest and taunt 22" waist with a Hally Berry face all over you!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
smack. smack. sugar smack. give me a smack and ill smack ya back!
Missy ~ They are sooooo good. My family started drinking "Peach Fuzz" back in the 70's at the lake when we had our two boats. Fun times! When I was in college, and of drinking age, I got the whole dorm addicted to them.
Ugh stop acting like you don't want attention... this is the lifestyle you willingly and knowingly signed on to.
I just turned a light switch on with my enormous dick......next door.
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
Migraine Sally on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:24pm.
2nd request:
I'm back trollops. Someone catch me up please.
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Raising kids takes money,
People have no money for boooz.
Lots of penis tales.
Aniston has coldsores.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:22pm.
KY Jelly shots. I'd suck for those things!
Jesus ! TMI . :)
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Love for lil ellie is eternal xxxxxxxxxxx
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:24pm.
2nd request:
I'm back trollops. Someone catch me up please.
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Drinking and El Bastardo's peen size and lying on the 'net.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Migraine,
Booze and Peen...just a regular day.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 03/24/2009 - 3:22pm.
Jello shots. I am a sucker for those things!
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You need jello? Since when?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
2nd request:
I'm back trollops. Someone catch me up please.
I was lying.
Hiding your face in shame is probably pretty common for John Mayer's ex-girlfriends.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"