Matt Lauer Taken Down By A Deer
Matt Lauer was riding his bike over the weekend, probably pretending he's in the Tour de Frace, when a deer jumped in front of his ass which caused him to flip over the handlebars and fucked up his shoulder. Deer: 1, Lauer: 0.
Meredith Viera thought it was really fucking hilarious and joked about it on Today this morning when she explained why he wasn't at work. Meredith said, "Matt's banged up with a displaced shoulder, it popped out. Hopefully he'll be on the mend soon." Meredith said Matt thinks the animal was hired as a hit deer by the competition. Meredith added, "I hired the deer. Just graze him.'"
This is no time for their jokes! That poor deer will probably need years of therapy after coming that close to Matt Lauer's enormous ego. Looking his ego in the eye will scar you for years!
By the way, the deer was really a blonde prostitute who got a little too excited while she was riding his face, right?
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Matt is a hot -looking, though very evil, homosexual. Are there nude photos?
Maybe the deer thought he was glib.
The deer was just going DO DO DO DO DOOO in the background.
I can't stand that arrogant Douche Bag prick Matt Lauer.
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
I came so close to hitting a deer very recently. I was driving down a main road (with no woods anywhere closeby.) All of a sudden two deer ran across four lanes of traffic. The car directly in front of me slammed right into one of them. The poor thing went flying across two lanes onto the side of the road. Meanwhile, the second deer ran between that car and mine. I had to slam on my brakes and barely missed it.
Thank God the deer didn't get hurt.
Yeah ok. I bet his crazy in the eyes wife beat his ass.
Submitted by Mistah.Spahkle on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 2:02pm.
a lil...yes! :) kidding! no worries
Not gonna lie. I'd fuck him. Hard.
Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 1:30pm.
well, i once tripped over my dog and i stepped on a small lizard. :(
I'm sorry but I laughed so hard at that. Am I evil?
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Formally Catricia
well, i once tripped over my dog and i stepped on a small lizard. :(
Meredith chaps my ass...Can't stand her!
we were driving down the road doing about 40 & this big ass deer, & i mean huge deer, ran right in front of us & crossed 4 really busy lanes. it just ran out of the woods. they are so stupid! thank goodness we didn't hit it. i stepped on a bird once accidentally & it was just awful.
I have no respect for Matt Lauer. I wish his wife would divorce his sorry ass and take him for all he's worth.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
Thanks EEG. I'm pretty sure he lived. It probably wasn't nearly as bad as I thought at the time. I actually couldn't get close enough to really see WHAT I did to it.
Stoney,
Feels really bad for what was young undamaged Stoney.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
WTFOMGLOL - yep. When I arrived at work I had Alice Cooper face, my make up was smeared all over my face from crying. Thankfully it was 3:30am when it happened and there was no one on the road. LOL
devilgirl and those who have deers eating yer flowers.
Plant Chamomile around the plants they are eating. They HATE chamomile.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:32pm.
M.E, that's horrible indeed. sorry you had to go through this. glad you had the guts to call animal control! you know most people leave those poor animals out there in the middle or side of the road :(
EEG, I was just a kid!!!!
*bawls uncontrollably*
Snideychick sez:
Hope Lauer took the carcass home. Venison is some good eatin'!
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:32pm.
Oh my fucking god bitch.
Barf.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:08pm.
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I know exactly how you feel. I ran over a little bambi not long ago - middle of the day, it just jumped out from the trees on the side of the road before I ever even saw it, and went right under my Jimmy's tires. dead by the time it came out the back. I'm out in the middle of the road in broad dayling, YELLING at a dead baby deer, crying at how stupid it is - anyone who pulled up just then would have thought I was a mental patient, but I kind of lost it a little bit. Not one of my prettier moments.
_deordorant soap ..nice tip, they eat all my flowers too... but the fun part is when they come by the pool(not too often) talk about being scared shitless..
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Submitted by Rishkin on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:29pm.
YES! devilgirl,
I have a brook that runs behind my backyard and when I walk over to it they jump 10 feet outta the water and scare the shit out of me..I cant tell you how many times I ran in the house hahaaha..I'm a tit!
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SEE SHEEPS! It's not just me!
I have a Persimmon tree that they love and they hang out at it like it's the local pub. When a group of males get together for a hootenanny (sp?) it's quite the noisy/scary time. I have lots of damage from deer eating my flowers and shrubs. I have learned a new trick to keep the little bastids from grazing- deodorant soap (no, not that I need it) if you place bars of deordorant soap around stuff they like to eat, it will keep them away. They hate it.
As you can see in my avie, my whole backyard is woods..I get all kinds of creatures. YAY me!
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Hoff, Haribo - It was awful. I was on my way to work, came around the corner under a train tressel and all of a sudden I saw mama deer, leaping across the road, I slowed down and waited, knowing they always come in two's, didn't see anything, so I sped up and WHAM! Out popped Bambi, he flew like 100ft up the road. I bawled just sitting there holding him till he died. Then I got to work and called animal control to go pick up the dead body.
RIP Bambi.
I once accidentally stepped on a bunny's head while wearing sneakers and busted out his eyeball. I've never been the same since. True story.
A big buck slammed into my mom's side window while she was driving. One minute she was driving along listening to the radio. Next minute she was covered in broken glass and blood with a set of antlers between her face and the dashboard. She was lucky that she was okay (the blood was from the buck), and that she didn't crash the car (although she said the force of the animal shoved her into the next lane). The buck furiously disentangled himself and ran off into the woods. But she had to replace the door of our station wagon because he dented it.
The Today show was great this morning. No Al (Buffoon) Roker, no annoying Ann Curry and my favorite anchor Lester Holt was filling in for Matt (I can't stop cheating on my model wife) Lauer. Hope the deer is okay.
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:25pm.
Ok, maybe, one glass and a little wacky tobaccky, but seriously male deer have these weird snorts that sound unreal!
*hiccup*
YES! devilgirl,
I have a brook that runs behind my backyard and when I walk over to it they jump 10 feet outta the water and scare the shit out of me..I cant tell you how many times I ran in the house hahaaha..I'm a tit!
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Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:23pm.
Just one glass?
Submitted by Rishkin on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:14pm.
Mine too. Have you ever heard a male deer snort? It is some scary, Friday the 13th stuff. I love to lay in my hammock in the summer at night and have a glass'o' wine, so one night last summer I went out, laid down and had the holy bejebus scared out of me by this ungodly sound, I flipped on the trusty flashlight and it was a male (w/nice rack) not more than 10 ft from me. He eventually ran off. but I tell you their snorts are unreal.
Jettison by venison.
(Bwaaahaaaahaaa…I amuse myself.)
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"There's a kid on a Pogo stick in front if my house. It's nearly midnight so let's assume he's been drinking. This should end well for him."
- excerpt from Christopher Walken's Twitter
I heard the deer was just being glib about it.
M.E.
christ, I would fucking hate to kill anything!!!
Matt's a douche. that is all.
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it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
lmao @ mk's last ?
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:08pm.
:( can't even imagine how mama deer must have felt. *crying*
Deer are ALL OVER my backyard..they eat my apples off the tree and shit all over my yard...my son gave some deer shit to some punk kid and told him they were berries..hahaha! he doesn't come around anymore.
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Nanners, no shit.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:08pm.
mama deer gives me the evil side eye from the woods.
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You're lucky she didn't hoof your ass up.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Trust me. Deer pop out of fucking NO WHERE. Especially around my parts.
I have fallen victim to mysteriously popping up deers and it resulted in me killing Bambi. It was fucking HORRIBLE!
Sitting on the side of the road at 3:30am with this bleeding baby deer in my lap, bawling my eyes out as mama deer gives me the evil side eye from the woods.
Fucking HORRIBLE!
Submitted by Raniya on Mon, 03/23/2009 - 12:04pm.
i would now be 6' under ground if that happened to me! :)
You know deer can be pretty sneaky too.
I used to live in Nor Cal and we had a family of deer living outside my apartment complex. One time while I was picking up my mail one the younger ones came right from behind and bumped me against the wall.
It scared the bejesus out of me.
i do not get how u can't see a fucking deer either! i mean it is a fucking DEER, hello??! it's not a cat!! oh well...
You know that was a sciento deer sent by TommyBoy to get even.
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Member for 43 sec
bwaaaaaa Michael! The end was one HELL of a punchline. Paid a price, diet pepsi came out my nose
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
That's funny!
I hope there's video.
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*ahem*
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
I mean *snicker* I *tee hee* hope he gets betthahahahahahahahahahahaha!
MK, I love you.
Matt's main deer was badly hurt to find out he'd cheated, but agreed to take him back if he'd go to counseling.
Too bad the deer didn't mount Lauer's head on a wall.
Edit- too bad the deer didn't mount Matt.