Madonna Is Over Jesus
Madonna has crucified Baby Jesus one last time so that he can fly away and play with infants his own age. The Daily Star says Baby Jesus has been released from Vadge's roided-up cooch of death after she saw pictures of him in Brazil with a young piece. Vadge apparently woke up and smelled the Ben-Gay, so she called up Baby Jesus to tell him his services as her whore were no longer needed.
Vadge also wants to buy another baby in Africa, and she thinks Baby Jesus could fuck up her chances. A source said, “She was drawn to Jesus. But it was just a bit of fun and she’s enjoyed herself. But she is growing bored of the relationship and her family comes first. He would ruin her chances of adopting again. And the pictures of him with Luciana made her realize that he’ll be better suited to somebody his own age.”
Ruining her chances of adopting again? Um. Color me dumb (again), but I thought Baby Jesus WAS the latest child adopted by Vadge? Baby Jesus should thank Jesus that he crawled away with his youth still intact. Besides, Baby Jesus was getting too old for Vadge. I hear she already asked Bronx Mowgli out on a date.
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Löysit siis tänne. Hienoa. Kysymys kuuluukin: mitä muuta löysit matkalla?
Nyt jätä minut rauhaan.
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So you got here. Clever. But the question is, what else did you find on the way?
Now leave me alone.
MADONNA=FOSSIL.
Jesus is Steven Klein's boyfriend, and the Madonna affair was a joke on everyone. It allowed his modeling fees to shoot up, and allowed her public to talk shit about her again.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO say it aint so, I wanted them to be together, I wanted to see him waste away til he could no longer breathe, walk or even stand up right with all the blood she's been sucking out of his youth. Awwww now Im truly sad.
Hey, it's not as if she can't buy another piece ASAP, especially in the third world countries she favors. Gigolos, babies - it's all the same to Vadge. I hope Jesus got a nice chunk of change out of it, although he was dumb to be photographed cavorting with some girl. Vadge doesn't like the world to be reminded that he was a male escort who on his own time loves the young cooch. She likes to pretend that they all love "her fantastic body." Yeah, fantastic animated tofu jerky.
That deafening roar you are hearing is the combined laughter of Guy Ritchie, Dennis Rodman, Sean Penn, Vanilla Ice, Warren Beatty, Jose Canseco and Sandra Bernhard.
...'and they said it wouldn't last'...guess 'they' were right!
He is so fuckin hot. I would hit it in a second but I would never call again. He is 1 night stand material as are all models. Just look at them, fuck them and keep it movin. Madonna maybe an old hoe but the bitch knows how to keep it moving, I like that.
'I know you want to but you cant say yes.'- George Michael.
Submitted by justice on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 11:08am.
Submitted by elishungaro on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 10:43am.
I wish you all could follow the fake twitter someone created for madonna´s jesus... it´s hilarious!!! For those of you who can speak portuguese, it´s totally worth it hahaha
https://twitter.com/jesusluz
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Clearly too much time on the old hands today so checked it out :D
"Donninha" ha, loving that nickname!
"Madonna saiu. Tenho que trocar a fralda do David Banda e ensinar Lola a dançar Calypso..."
"iradooooo! ficamos eu e Madonna dançando Like a Prayer pelados em cima da cama. muito manêro. só tivemos q parar pq Lola bateu na porta"
;)
--thanks awfully--
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soooo funny, when he says lola is reading dostoievsky on top of him, and, eventually, she spits on his head. i mean... wtf??? lol
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AND YOU´RE WALKING IN THE BACKGROUND, LIKE, DADADADADADA... WHAT DON´T YOU FUCKIN´ UNDERSTAND?- my Bale
She wants to adopt a baby from the same place where her son David was adopted & it was so difficult for her to get him... I wonder what some of these celebs have against adopting in th U.S. Is it not exotic/glamorous/exciting enough for them?
Yawn. Some relevant news please.
And that means his 15 minutes are up...NEXT!
typical vampire, drink at the neck , drain them dry and move on... Funny how NObody stays her friend for too long except Fishsticks.
wants to adopt another baby.. mmm.. yeah.. mother of the year..
she never ceases to amaze me at what pathetic levels she will go to keep her name in the papers..
God, someone give this funt a pie in the face...please..
"You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls
if you go back to the "famous" pic of him and the model, he's actually walking ALONE!
the girl is walking with the guy in the yellow t-shirt.take a closer look at the feet and you'll see that she's 5-6 feet behind him.
I prefer to think he got smart! I mean really, the thought of fucking that 50+ dried up coochie is enough to make your peen melt!
So , I cannot WAIT for the Jesus tell-all!!! Hes probablly got some DIRT on her now!! I cant wait to here his side of things, you know his ass will sell out for a few bucks!
Submitted by elishungaro on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 10:43am.
I wish you all could follow the fake twitter someone created for madonna´s jesus... it´s hilarious!!! For those of you who can speak portuguese, it´s totally worth it hahaha
https://twitter.com/jesusluz
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Clearly too much time on the old hands today so checked it out :D
"Donninha" ha, loving that nickname!
"Madonna saiu. Tenho que trocar a fralda do David Banda e ensinar Lola a dançar Calypso..."
"iradooooo! ficamos eu e Madonna dançando Like a Prayer pelados em cima da cama. muito manêro. só tivemos q parar pq Lola bateu na porta"
;)
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by imk505 on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 10:03am.
Thanks for your response. And yeah, she's a total control freak... that's what I meant by calling her uptight. But to me, she means well, you know. She wants her kids to be healthy. Granted some candy here and there will not kill them. I totally agree with you there. Overall, I think she wants the best for her kids... not playboy pictorials and/or share drugs with them.
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What What
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 10:59am.
Love the vid Sheeps!
A source always says..!
You'd think by now that this buffoon would realise that everyone knows SHE is this mysterious source.
Instead of closing his eyes and giving his peen one more reason to invert itself and perform Sepukku, Jesus chose option 2 - Hooking up with a hot piece in Rio. He will however have to live this whole sham down and I am not sure Jesus himself could do that.
Vadge old girl, give it up. The attempt at remaining vaguely relevant has been going on far, far too long now.
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 10:55am.
*honking lustily, returning used Kleenex* Zanks, man.
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Light-up Sheeps Art (Thanks, LoLo!)
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 10:49am.
Nooo! *smashing dishes* Cannot be! *sobbing uncontrollably* They... just.... so happy.... forever...
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Lmfao!
Aww Sheeps, I know, I know.
*hands Sheeps a kleneex*
Nooo! *smashing dishes* Cannot be! *sobbing uncontrollably* They... just.... so happy.... forever...
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Light-up Sheeps Art (Thanks, LoLo!)
She probably ate his soul. Ahhhhhh, he didn't need it, anyway.
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It's grilled cheese samich, hunny buns, not girl cheese.
I wish you all could follow the fake twitter someone created for madonna´s jesus... it´s hilarious!!! For those of you who can speak portuguese, it´s totally worth it hahaha
https://twitter.com/jesusluz
ps dg..get yer whistle yet:P
Morrning devilblowmespicegirl!
OMG LMAO @ suny OMG hehehehehehe that's very good!
By the way, those aren't snowflakes. Those are ghost orbs of the souls of all the fetuses Madonna has eaten.
They follow her everywhere.
Morning Zappy!
C Word-LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 9:27am.
I wonder if she'll resurrect him at Easter.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!
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Douchechill!
I think Schmadge is a control freak and wants things her way. The real reason she let HAY-zeus go was because she couldn't face the humiliation of him leaving her (my analysis). It's probably hard for her to deal with the fact that she is getting older and no longer the blossoming hot stuff she once was. You can be 50 and still be hot stuff, just stop trying to push the envelope on trying to be what you no longer are, that makes a person look older than they are.
I have a manager, 10 years younger than me telling me that I'm so old. She keeps getting more tattoes and got her belly button pierced to reinforce her youthfulness. She's also a fake and bake girl so basically she looks like an old whore. She looks oldern me..ha ha haaaa ha pfft. I told her stupid ass that she's not only catching up to me, but she's surpassed me..ha fuck'er.
RIGHT THIS WAY JESUS
jeez is alright for lourdes not for madge. i guess she accidentally bumped her head against the wall and realized it. whatever works...really!
"I think she should have as much fun as possible. She always seems so uptight."
Are we still talking about madonna here? She's been loose since the 80's.
"she seems to be a good mother. A bit overbearing, but at least she cares about what her kids watch and eat."
She does not seem like a horrible mom but if the rumors are true she sounds like a control freak to me. Kids should be allowed to be kids. Eat candy and watch a cartoon every now and then.
"She takes them (children) to service"
IMO children should be educated about all religions and choose their own religion (or not) when they are old enough to do so. We're talking about children here not sinners. Why do they need all the rules and regulations of religion?
"Why can't she go and get laid? Because she's 50? Sorry. I just hate the double standard"
Me too! I consider 50 year old men who date girls young enough to be their daughters perverts. No double standards here. :-)
So she wants another African baby, if I was an African baby I'd want to be adopted by a gazillionaire if she didn't go Mommie Dearest on my ass. This isn't the 50s where she can't adopt because she doesn't have a Mr. Cleaver at home.
Since when has acquiring children become therapy for narcissism?
If these celeb whores had to do all their own childcare, they'd stop at two or three. The way the REST of us do. Even if I had the resources to hire nannies, I wouldn't. I'd sure as hell have someone clean my apartment, though.
hey slutterellas :)
happy friday :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
She's morphing into a Portia De Rossi..Maybe she's secretly trying to snag Ellen for her next big "edgy" stunt?
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 9:35am.
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Awww snowy, I love that someone 'gets' me... ;)
(edit: you too, Albatross!)
And Jesus reminds me of Jorge Nunez:
http://thebuzz.sheknows.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/jorge-nunez.jpg
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"There's a kid on a Pogo stick in front if my house. It's nearly midnight so let's assume he's been drinking. This should end well for him."
- excerpt from Christopher Walken's Twitter
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 9:27am.
I wonder if she'll resurrect him at Easter.
LOL!!!
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"This is my body. Have a wafer."
Umm.... can I have him??
Yep, she cut him off because the bad publicity she was getting. As for adopting another child, maybe she should just concentrate on the ones she has now!
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"This is my body. Have a wafer."
I'm loving Madonna's coat.
I think she should have as much fun as possible. She always seems so uptight. If she wants to be a cougar, then she should. As far as we've heard from the media, she seems to be a good mother. A bit overbearing, but at least she cares about what her kids watch and eat. She takes them to service and does a lot more than other celebrity parents. So why not? Why can't she go and get laid? Because she's 50?
Sorry. I just hate the double standard.
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What What
" she is growing bored of the relationship and her family comes first."
Who is she kidding? Baby Jesus II made an ass out of her. She's just trying to act tough. Nasty hag should have stayed with her husband.
I guess his 15 minutes are over.
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Member for 43 sec
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 03/20/2009 - 9:27am.
I wonder if she'll resurrect him at Easter
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ROTFLMAO!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
Dios Mio! I am shocked! They were so great together! These two crazy kids were in love! What chance do the rest of us have when a pairing like this doesn't work out?!
*does 5 hails Mary's, drinks one Bloody Mary*
"it makes her looks older and tracky! "
HAHAHA!..tracky?
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She seems like a real bitchy mother.
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