American Idol: Ring Of WTF
Why didn't Johnny Cash appear in a ring of fire to punch Adam Lambert in the mouth and then burn that "Mad Max gone wrong" jacket over his body?! Adam's performance of "Ring of Fire" made my ring of fire (I'm putting cream on it) throb in pain. Bitch gets an A+ in trytoohardy, but if you weren't smoking some of Paula Abdul's secret recipe through a hookah, you were probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on up there. Paula was definitely the only ho who was on board with that shit. You would be too if a magic carpet appeared at your feet and flew you through Adam Lambert's boyfriend's sparkly sweater during that slaughter-filled performance.
It was like orgy music that will make your peen go limp. Speaking of, when Adam tried to bring on the sexy, I had to go to Bible.com, put my hand on the screen and pray that I never experience anything like that ever again. That being said, Adam needs to stay. Well, that glittery Shrek creature with Sonic the Hedgehog hair is at least making me feel something. The rest of those boring bores only make me crave oatmeal made with tap water.
The judges need to be put on a bus and sent to Insanity Town, because they were busting loads over the wrong whores. I mean, Danny Hokey?! That bitch needs to go back to the early 90s cartoon he came from. I'm so tired of him and his ten million glasses. And of course he sang "Jesus Take The Wheel." Of fucking course. Danny is at the wheel and taking the fools for a ride! That's some manipulative shit! I wouldn't even buy it if Mah Boo Anderson Cooper wrapped it up and dangled it from his shiny peen. No. I would rather Anooooooooop win than Danny and that's saying everything! Anoop is like a big GAP hoody to me. He's comfortable to most, but I don't want that shit anywhere near me! And he really does wear a lot of hoodies. I think he's in cahoots with the hoody people.
As for my predictions. This is kind of hard since most of them brought the MEHS in heavy doses last night. But I'll say Michael Sarver, Alexis Grace and Megan Joy Cokrey will find themselves holding hands and shit as the bottom 3. My guess is that Megan Joy DORKEY will be swept back under the rug. I keep waiting for her ass to get all angsty, but she keeps doing these hokey ass songs. Bitch needs to shit out the Hallmark Card already and bring on the ragey-ness I know she has inside of her.
And I think Paula's added a few things to her secret tea last night, because the crazy was extra-babbly. She also needs to let Kara take a swig, because maybe that will loosen up her damn lock jaw. Seriously, I want to jump through the screen and pry that shit open with the jaws of life. Actually, I think it's better if I pry it shut.
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I think that dialidol is in on it with American Idol. They're in cahoots together.
I think American Idol gave the owner of DialIdol a money deal to post results that they like.
Is Dany Gokey really getting more than double the votes than Adam Lambert?
Look at the main site of American Idol, Lambert has 685 topics started with 20951 posts.
Gokey has 308 topics started with 9223 posts.
I don't believe Gokey could be more popular than Adam.
American Idol is rigged and now they have DialIdol in their pockets.
Michael Sarver wasn't supposed to be in the bottom 2. He was in green at DialIdol.
I think they told the dude at DialIdol, be wrong with one contestant so we look better and more unpredictable.
DialIdol has never been that wrong before.
Also, have you noticed that American Idol has stopped going after DialIdol?
So you don't think they're mad anymore at DialIdol? All of a sudden, they just stopped caring about the results being known before the show goes on the air?
Like I just said, have you noticed how American Idol is no longer concerned with Dial Idol?
Mopa I just read your comment now and I know this post is waay past fresh now, but wanted to comment anyway...my daughter has inherited my (lack of) gaydar, I guess, because like you, I had no idea that George Michael was gay, either! I didn't know Greg Louganis was gay, or Kevin Spacey, for that matter. Tonight I mentioned to my daughter that the rumor was that Adam was gay and she was like, "Mom, NO he's NOT!"...I won't argue with her, she can have her little crush for now!
HA HA HA ALEXIS IS GONE!!!!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
thank God for my DVR or I wouldn't make it thru AI this year. I just hit ff over Dope Dawg 55 yr old trying to be 15 Randy and LockJaw Kara, I listen to Simon only and sometimes Paula to get a chuckle. I ff'd over everyone last night except that hot fairy Adam, I think he is the only reason I am still DVR'ing. Oddly he reminds me of Elvis in the face and body, does anyone else see it or am I asphyxiated by the hot fudge? I think Lil is a'ight but everyone else just got hit with a fug and boring stick.
I loves me some Adam and I think he did great.
i did some research and can now say with conviction that this twink is the most untalented unoriginal wanna be out right now. stolen look failed, stolen sound failed. no, not missing anything missing this shit show.
I actually thought that Adam Lambert's rendition was one of the more interesting things I've ever seen on Idol.
He is pretty fresh - despite the silly asymmetrical hair and angsty nail polish that made that narrow headed country ufck so uncomfortable.... gimmie a flippin break... don't get north of the mason dixon much now do ya, Bill Hilly?
That sounded like something they would play in a movie where people are having drugged up sex.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
I have never heard anyone sing in that many different keys in 30 seconds before; that was so bad it didn't even come close to hearing it all.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Adam is a copy of David Cook. The hair the clothes! Whatever. I am sick of Danny also. I do think the girl with the tattoos all over her arm is pretty.
Dude! Why do you hate Danny so much?! His voice is like juicy sweetness. You know you wanna hit all that dorkeyness in a threesome with yourself. I know I wanna put a hurtin on him real bad!
That being said, should he win? I'm not really sure yet.
...mad at this, "I know you weren't born when I did what I did and I know that I was an inspiration to you and I take that as a complete compliment." Mark Spitz
Oh, and Bitches is dumb!
WTF is going on in his crotchal area? It looks like he has a shiny black peen.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
That Adam dude is a pest! He sounded like someone grabbed his nutsack and forced him to sing!
Johnny Cash shoulda risen from the dead and put a boot in Adam's ass for that drivel!
I don't know about last night, but I like him.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Submitted by pomegranate on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 12:49pm.
She's 14 and she doesn't realize he's gay? Bless her little heart. I guess my daughters have better gaydar than other young teens. They spotted it right away. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing.
I, of course, in my early 20's back in the early 80's watched Wake Me Up Before You Go Go over and over again and just swooned over George Michael. I just knew we were going to be together some day. Just shows that my daughters don't take after me in the gaydar department. Imagine, seeing that video and not realizing George Michael was gay? LOL!
I just love the fact that Adam isn't doing too much to hide his fabulousness. He is basically throwing it in American Idol's face.
There is no way he will win, although he will go pretty far. I think most viewers will figure out his fabulousness before too long and the fanatical people that vote like crazy when it's only down to a few aren't going to vote for him.
Can Adam go please? I can't stand that guy. He gets weirder and weirder and every performance is a screaming fest. I appreciate putting your self into songs, but for him, that means being creepy and over done. His whole thing made me uncomfortable. Other uncomfortable moments? Michael and Scott. Sorry, but I was laughing the whole time that they were singing, cause all I could think about was " why are you guys still around??? ".
Megan can sing, but it all sounds the same in my douchey opinion. Matt and Kris are growing on me and I was really happy to see Anoop showing that he's mature enough to take such bad comments and turn them around one week later. Yay Anoop!!
Adam Lambert gaved the best performance last night!!!!!
when I watched it last night, I was disappointed because he gaved the best performance last week. But I listen to it this morning and WOW!!!!!!
Do This: Close your eyes and listen to his performance...it's better than Black or White!
Take Adam out of the 11, and you got this Boring group of high School musicals....He IS in a different league!
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Team Burke Vs Team "K"
Thanks everyone.
Stoney, here's MSN's recap and all song titles:
http://tv.msn.com/american-idol/top-11/
I liked Adam's performance because it was different and unexpected and totally tripped out.
Danny's still my hometown boy and fave but he was a little boring last night.
Anoop sounded the best.
Allison has a great voice and looks a little like Kelly Clarkson to me.
Megan's voice cracks me up. Yes, she's unique but she isn't a good singer.
LA on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 1:16pm
OMG ROCK STAR! I wish they would bring that Hot Mess back...
Dilana was awesome.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
He fell into a Flamin' Ring of Gay.
It was EPIC!
Alexis Grace needs TO GO!
I like Megan Joy, I like her voice.
Cuntry Times was all kinds of Gummy Randy Travis tryin' not to call Adam a big FREAK! You know he wanted to.
UH HUH YES HE DID!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Adam's performance reminded me of "The Tea Party" (Canadian band):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTnq0goeR04&feature=related
Anoop and Matt were great, and that's the most interesting Kris has been (short of playing naked).
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A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jdP7HUPbVs
Oh yes, and Matt Giraud sang another Carrie Underwood song (not "Jesus Takes the Wheel"). lol
omg you know who was good, Kris, he sang that Adele song that I had NO CLUE was a Garth Brookes song. To Make You Feel My Love
Michael sang :Ain;t Going down till the sun comes up. FAIL!
Allison sang Blame it on your heart
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
Stoney, I remember that Adam sang "Ring of Fire," Anoop sang "You Were Always on My Mind," Alexis Grace sang "Jolene," Megan sang a Patsy Cline song ("Walkin' after Midnight"?), Scott sang some Martina McBride song with 'Angels' int he title, Lil Rounds sang Martina McBride's "Independence Day," Allison sang some Patty Loveless song, and Kris Allen sang some Garth Brooks song I think. I don't really remember the rest (or didn't know the song at all...I'm not into country).
MayWest...I wasn't aware you had a point.
The comparisons to Dilana are valid but Adam did some runs that Dilana didn't have in her range. I'd say he did a broadway take on dilanas mystical version.
I think Danny is boring.
"Paula was definitely the only ho who was on board with that shit." - MK
Actually you were probably smoking Paula's secret recipe MK. Randy Jackson liked Adam's performance even more than Paula did.
I thought Anoop and Matt were really good and they both seem charming and sweet.
I actually just re-watched Adam's performance and it was kind of awesome. Although I may be biased since I like middle eastern music. Then again, maybe that's why people don't like it? Some people don't like things they aren't used to. I don't like Adam though, he seems annoying, but I do like his voice :)
Bender: Hey. What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.
Stoney: Anoop: u were always on my mind
Adam: Ring of Fire Danny Gokey: Jesus take the Wheel ok I have to think now....
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
I loved Adams version of Ring of Fire. I think he's amazing.
Doesn't Adam's version sound like Dilana's version from Rockstar Supernova a few years ago? Weird!
http://www.popserious.com/?p=2111
Dude, Adam and his Fairy Dust didn't impress me one bit last night. After his performance, I looked around at my empty living room thinking to myself, "What in god's name did I just witness?" He needs to lose it with the "emo" look, put on some MAC make-up, a wig, and a dress and show what he's all about. He's one hot Queen.
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Need some "Chocolate Thunder?" Click here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK0d2P9Hbv4
Ok, you hot sluts. I have a huge request. I missed Idol last night because I was too busy drinking green beer, so could someone who loves me list the songs the contestants all sang so I can YouTube their performances? Pretty pretty please?
I too like American Idol and casserole.
I also went to Vanderbilt, so you can suck on my fucking ass MayWest.
you're pretty emotionally invested in this shit show! i'll just leave now and let you get back to your mindless cheesy show. again, thank you for making my point.
Speaking of, when Adam tried to bring on the sexy, I had to go to Bible.com, put my hand on the screen and pray that I never experience anything like that ever again.
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MK, I lost it on that one and I don't even watch that trash. Had to stifle laughter at work. LOL!!!
MayWest69 please get over yourself. Ricki Lake is one of the smarter posters on dlisted and I wouldn't mess with him because he's going to slay you.
I watch PBS, TMC and reality shows, so what does that make me? So judgemental for someone with their big ass in the air.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"I think you will know what I mean when I say this, is that Adam Lambert makes me feel like a young girl who has just discovered gay boys, and wants more" TWOP
Um, duh. You really are clueless, aren't you? I spelled it wrong to make a point. What point beyond pure dumbassery are you making? I'm guessing you're too old to understand. It's ok, go take a shot of Metamucil and hit the sack, it's almost bedtime Grandma.
Nice slut avatar to go with your 69 screenname. I wish I could be just like you.
thank you for making my point.
ps it's Classy.
Oh yes, the bitch with "69" in her screenname is telling me I'M trashy. And of COURSE she knows the real way to spell Mae West, she just didn't WANT to! I guess that's the prerogative of those with "big minds" like yours.
Unfortunately, I still fail to see what is "snarky" about fat hos coming up here on DLISTED and trying to exert some cultural superiority by making fun of people who like American Idol. You're the type of fat skank who claims to be all into old movies because you saw Breakfast at Tiffany's once, and now you're all edgy and counter-cultural. You know, or maybe you're just an average dumb American. Either way, sucks to be you! I at least know that my worth to society isn't based on whether I watch a dumb TV show or not. Now, go make peen jokes and talk shit about Jessica Alba, 'cause you're so klassy like that.
LOL My daughter is in love with Adam...do I tell her he's gay?! Between this and Rob Pattz' upcoming Dali movie, her 14 year old heart might break in two.
"when Adam tried to bring on the sexy, I had to go to Bible.com, put my hand on the screen and pray that I never experience anything like that ever again."
I was having such a shitty afternoon, then I read this and I had to laugh. Thank you, MK!
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"This is my body. Have a wafer."
Submitted by LisaL on Wed, 03/18/2009 - 11:34am.
I actually really liked his version of the song :P lol
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Me, too. It was cool!
And I like that he's not another cookie-cutter, Star-Search-sounding bore with lame, dated arrangements. He can out-sing anyone on that stupid, awful show and he has the ballz to show the world who he is. I love that!
the “only” people that say snark? really.
as far as you watching idol for the “mindless, cheesy shit”, after reading your reply, i don’t doubt that your world is short of mindless, cheesy shit.
rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. name calling is for the playground or for those with little minds.
ps thank you. i am well aware of how mae west spells her name.
It was definitely different, but kinda awesome too.
And he sang the shit out of it.
I love Adam and I thought his performance was sexy and very innovative. Proud to say I voted for him 3 times and I have NEVER voted on AI. Hope he wins cause everyone else puts me to sleep better than Ambien.
I am not above Idol, I watch RHONYC, Real World and DWTS. Idol comes on opposite of some other trash show I watch so I can't fit it in my "intellectually superior" sched! I can't snark on Idol, I also watch Rock of Herpes Bus.
I ain't too proud to admit I watch a lot of shit shows.
Lol, omg, no, but it would a lot more interesting if you would like, at least make fun of the show instead of letting us all know 1,800 times you don't watch it. And ugh bitch, the only people who say "snark" are middle-aged women who think they're all edgy and hip and shit cause they gossip on the Internet.
PS I watch Idol because sometimes, I just want to watch mindless, cheesy shit. I'm sure you're watching PBS documentaries and BBC Jane Austen mini-series(es?) all the time. Cunt.
(PPS It was MaE West, not May. Yeah, you're so with it. Cunt.)
@Snowpiece...LMAO. Last night, I was screaming "I know Snowy's freakin out" when I watched Adam bust out with the ROF.
Overall, whatever...I was still crying...not for any of their asses but because I live in a world where I will that mom in the audience and my son will be up on stage screaming at the top of his (non-singin)lungs.
just so that i know all the rules, snark is ok, just not on american idol posts?
don’t get nasty with other posters because you lack the common sense and class to miss this crap show. Enjoy your casserole and your shit show.