Midget Top Model Riot!
Bitches hoping to be on top ended up on the bottom after they were almost trampled to fucking death outside of a casting call in NYC yesterday for the next season of America's Next Top Model. This is the season that Ty Ty is only looking for chicks who are 5'7" and under. They should just stop the casting now. La Pequena has this shit boxed and wrapped!
The New York Daily News reports that the drama started at the break of dawn when girls who had slept in the line overnight found that other whores were trying to cut in on their shit. It got worse when girls found out that if they stepped out of the line they would not be able to get back in. This caused some chicks to piss in cups. Guess this will teach them not to leave home without their GO GIRL!
As hours went by, thousands of people were compressed into each other. The cops arrived to place barricades along the street, but by that time, bitches were straight-up blacking out from not being able to breathe. Again, GO GIRL can also double as an oxygen funnel.
The panic really started when two douchebags, who were fighting for hours, started brawling for real. After the cops broke that shit up, one of the dudes said he was going to come back with a gun. How fucking charming. What a way to spend your Saturday afternoon: suffocating, pissing on yourself and worrying about a loon with a gun. Not only did these little whores need a GO GIRL, but they also needed one of those bullet-proof wigs!
If that wasn't enough, moments later, a BMW with smoke pouring out of it pulled up to the street which caused some dumb whore to yell "BOMB!!!!" That's when the barricade dropped and everyone started running for their lives! That's some Les Miserdumbfuck shit!
After all was said and DUMB, several bitches were treated at the scene, two were taken to the hospital, three were arrested for starting a riot and the casting call was immediately shut down.
Meanwhile, Ty Ty was probably jizzing with her eyes because not only did her greatness (in her head) cause a riot, but she also had the topic for her next talk show!
• 
this is both hilarious and pathetic. the best combo of all.
i felt like shit this morning. now i see there may be 1 or 2 people more stoopid than i am.
thanks, MK!! this writing is why you're the best!
♥
.
I wish I knew how to make umlauts and tildes and such when writing on my computer. Maybe I can't on a Mac?
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 12:16pm.
I like it! And it would have to be a "Death Metal" band.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Ahhaha Deb,
Absolutely.
Actually, the band should be called "UMLAUT!" with the first album being titled "Fucking UMLAUT!".
(I'm talking to myself).
Deb,
I haven't read much of the Gemase story yet... I'll have to read all of the seediness later. Sounds juicy.
EGADS!! THE SOUND!!
The sound on that video was the equivelant of every bird on planet earth screaming in my ear at 4AM on a Sunday.
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 12:08pm.
Why thank you, madame s! There would have to be an umlaut over the "u" in Fucking, no?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Hekki, thanks for the links. The crowd reminds me of the one that nearly trampled the hub and me at "Taste of Chicago" last summer. It was July 3rd, and while waiting for the fireworks, we heard, "pop! pop! pop!" and somebody yelled, "THEY SHOOTING!". We escaped with our lives. That time was probably fireworks, but people were shot later in the evening. Never again!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Someone needs to have a band called "Fucking UMLAUT!".
@madam s
What gets me about Gemase, is that he was able to swindle so many different people, (not counting the model hopefulls), to create his sick fantasy.
A pure and complete sociopath.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Anyone who has watched more then 12 seconds of ANTM is not surprised by this at all. The average IQ of the typical contestant is probably in the mid 90's.
Take, if you will, the girl who convinced the contestants that a girl with impetigo had the flesh eating virus. Or the girl who urinated in a diaper for the attention of the Jackass cast.
But, then again, I'm the idiot who watches it.
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 11:42am.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 11:39am.
I never saw Janice's show. You have to check out the video, it's a hoot. Fucking UMLAUT!
I did. I wondered who would fall for that, but then I see a bunch of pretty average-looking delusional people, and then I know.
I just Googled that Gemase guy, and he most certainly couldn't be mistaken for an ex-model, and boy, does he sound creepy. Chris Hansen was even looking for him! Ruh-roh. And in highschool he was training to be a minister apparently.
For Deb: You can catch a look at some of the lovelies here...
http://www.ny1.com/content/top_stories/95596/chaos-erupts-during--top-mo...
http://www.myfoxny.com/
And my very own favorite aerial view of the clusterfuck:
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/03/14/2009-03-14_chaos_breaks_o...
They also have some still photos.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 11:39am.
I never saw Janice's show. You have to check out the video, it's a hoot. Fucking UMLAUT!
I am with you on the La Pequena bitterness.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 11:32am.
Did anyone see the Dateline about the fake model/reality show hosted and run by Gemase Simmons? There was an umlaut over the "a" in Gemase!
This creepy, criminal fuck claimed to be a supermodel who was doing a model search. There prizes were to be $50,000 and a modeling contract. Wait 'til you see the guy! He never even modeled, except for his own fake pictures. Yet these morons BELIEVED him. Gemase put these contestants through grueling boot camp-like drills.
Then he pulled "casting couch" shenanigans on female and male contestants. There is currently a lawsuit for sexual harrassment against him from a former model contestant. Filming of this bullshit had to stop because the cameramen quit for non-payment! Anyway, check it out. It's pretty fascinating. This Gemase guy was a totally repulsive, nutjob, con man, yet these contestants put up with it for a chance at that $50,000-which didn't exist!
_____________________________________________________
is he related to Gene Simmons?
there's a sick story here in UK about a rapist cabbie that attacked more than 200 women. the police are still building a case against him.
*************************************************************************
why does steam come out of my vagina???!?
*************************************************************************
Ooooh Deb! How did you find out about that? Sounds JUICY!~ I can't wait for that Dateline!!!!
@ Deb: It was on the news this morning (and last night, too) I'll take a look and post a link for ya.
@Hekki
Like DUH!
I have to check out the "hopefuls". Where can I see them?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 11:32am.
Did anyone see the Dateline about the fake model/reality show hosted and run by Gemase...
Until I got to Gemase, I assumed it was going to be about Janice Dickinson.
"... How fucking charming. What a way to spend your Saturday afternoon: suffocating, pissing on yourself and worrying about a loon with a gun. Not only did these little whores need a GO GIRL, but they also needed one of those bullet-proof wigs!"
(still laughing!)
LOVE LOVE LOVE him!
xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
Submitted by Deb: "Here's a tip, morons. If you're really that beautiful, you don't need to sleep in line on the street to get a modeling gig."
Just what I was going to post.
Mr. Hekki and I were splitting our sides when they showed some of the "hopefuls" on the news.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 03/15/2009 - 11:29am.
MK, you should be embarrassed to even mention La Pequeña after you failed to "influence" the voting to make her Hot Slut of the Year.
Yes, I'm still bitter.
_________________________________________________________
you're not the only one. she's a hot babe.
*************************************************************************
why does steam come out of my vagina???!?
*************************************************************************
Ridiculously funny...I'm waiting for the Tyra Banks Show special episode where she sits in front of her audience, produces some fake-ass overly dramatic tears and narcissticly whines about how emotional and dissapointing this was for her...bitch was probably off in her apartment eating a tub of Ben and Jerrys whilst thinking of even more ways that the world can revolve around her in some way...did anyone catch her on Oprah where she claimed that she was in a emotionally abusive relationship and how her parents fought so much as a child that it gave her migraines?! Bitch please, you had migraines because your forhead is too damn big for your body.
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
Did anyone see the Dateline about the fake model/reality show hosted and run by Gemase Simmons? There was an umlaut over the "a" in Gemase!
This creepy, criminal fuck claimed to be a supermodel who was doing a model search. There prizes were to be $50,000 and a modeling contract. Wait 'til you see the guy! He never even modeled, except for his own fake pictures. Yet these morons BELIEVED him. Gemase put these contestants through grueling boot camp-like drills.
Then he pulled "casting couch" shenanigans on female and male contestants. There is currently a lawsuit for sexual harrassment against him from a former model contestant. Filming of this bullshit had to stop because the cameramen quit for non-payment! Anyway, check it out. It's pretty fascinating. This Gemase guy was a totally repulsive, nutjob, con man, yet these contestants put up with it for a chance at that $50,000-which didn't exist!
http://insidedateline.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/05/01/970523.aspx
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
They do realize that nobody has actually become a top model, right?
So basically they're just whores who want to be on TV. Idiots.
****
If you're so stupid that you can't see a hole that big, then by God you deserve to fall in it. -Morbidosity
I love how non-plussed the cops look the whole time as the crowd crushes itself, but then they perk up a little when it's ass-beating time. Ahhaha... good ole' NYC police.
So gross. Crowds that amass for the chance to be involved in reality shows SHOULD be allowed to self-destruct. In fact, this is an excellent way to thin the population.
this shit is still on air?
*************************************************************************
why does steam come out of my vagina???!?
*************************************************************************
MK, you should be embarrassed to even mention La Pequeña after you failed to "influence" the voting to make her Hot Slut of the Year.
Yes, I'm still bitter.
Placing bets now that this fuckery airs during the show. They should find the dump twat who yelled 'BOMB' and feature her ass as well
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok who drank my Vodka! Dammit!
That was too funny.
************
Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!-Harry
The cops should have broken out the water cannon and tear gas.
That is some scary shit.
**********
"Mah pussy's hangin' out!"
If the winners who actually have model bodies (er.. were there any?) can't find jobs, why the hell would she cast girls 5'7 and under?? What a joke
Sounds like they have the brains and self-entitlement to be great models.
They should rename it "America's Top Mob". I have zero sympathy for any of the tards in line for this thing.
Here's a tip, morons. If you're really that beautiful, you don't need to sleep in line on the street to get a modeling gig.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Considering none of the "winners" have ever gotten big modeling gigs (besides Eva Pigface), I am surprised anyone showed up.
*********************************************
"I think she's an ass...I think she's ugly. And I think she's a disgusting human being..."
-Anne McCourt, 81 years old, re: Paris Hilton (was filmed and is now pissed she will be on a reality show )