There's A Hungry Pussy In Mah Cooch!
That could also work as the title of a HoHan/Samro sex tape should one ever surface.
Okay, this is really about a couch and a pussy, but cooch sounded so much better. Besides, cooch, couch! Kind of the same thing. Both are nice to lay on while watching TV. Although, I've been known to stick it in between couch cushions (that's some Nip/Tuck shit), but not in a cooch. I'm joking! No I'm not.
Now let's get out of the gutter and into this story. Vickie Mendenhall of Spokane, Washington went down to her local Value Village and bought a used couch for $27. Vickie brought the couch home and for the next couple of days heard some kind of meowing sound coming from it. Bitch probably thought her vag was rumbling again. Well, one night, her man, Chris Lund, was watching TV and felt something moving from inside. I would've slapped my ass lips thinking they were just acting up again, but Chris smartly pulled the sofa away from the wall. When he lifted it up, he found a hongray pussy inside!
Vickie immediately called the Value Village, but they had no idea who donated the couch. So Vickie took the stowaway pussy to the shelter she works at so that it could get its shit together and eat something. Vickie also contacted the local news and went on TV in hopes of finding the owner.
That shit worked, because Bob Killion claimed the pussy after one of his friend's saw it on TV. Bob donated the sofa to Value Village the same day his cat Callie went missing. And all was well again! But I bet you Chris misses the built-in massager in the couch now that it's gone.
And in the video below, the chihuahua at the 0:40 looks like he wants to crawl up into the couch and stay there for a long ass while. Bitch has got those "get me the fuck out of here" eyes.
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When i was about7 i had a friend over after school. We were sitting on the couch discussing how to rip off the canteen when we heard this rumbling/growling noise. My friend though it was her stomach. I thought it was mine. we got up to grab some food and my cat jumped out from underneath the couch cushions, gave us the dirtiest of looks and ran off. Pissed off cats should have their own show.
They should get a refund for that ugly ass couch. And what a coinkidink the woman works at a shelter.
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
Kitty cute <3
The chihuahua looks very nervous...
like he is afraid he'll be next victim of that couch!
I am glad to kitty is okay..
The Value Village around here has higher prices..no way you could get a decent looking couch for $27..
Thats some crazy shit..I would have thought my couch was posessed.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Don't get me wrong, he is a cheater. So are the fricken Squeelers. You see anybody ragging on their heroics? The other day,
I saw a blog about his gossip on site named ....Seekamillionaire com.... ' for people seeking wealthy .
Wo, Wo, Wo...she's a lady
Talkin' 'bout that little lady.
The poor little cat! Glad he is okay.
i have a calico cat named callie too! :) what a cute cat, glad its okay!
in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3
Couches? Hungry kittehs? All this story needs is a puppeh jonesing for a cupcake and we'd have the dlisted holy trinity.
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
That chihuahua totally needs to be the next hot slut of the day.
He's precious, love his "eyeliner" look! Too cute:)
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
she looks like a sweet kitty! my kitty would have been yelling from day 1 once she had no food!! my kitty don't play that starvation shit.
of course her fat ass would not have fit in no couch either, lol, but her fat ass did claw a hole in my boxspring! damn cat!!
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People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 6:38pm.
Free kitteh! I can't imagine all the germs and nastiness in a Value Village cooch.
Very freudian! Or did you mean that? LOL!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
One of our cats over the years crawled into our couch once; it was a sofabed, and I saw him go in between the cushions, then he started meowing.
I pulled the cushions off, thinking he was just under them, and he was nowhere to be seen ! He kept howling and we couldn't figure out exactly where he was, so we unfolded the bed part really slowly in case he was caught on something. I was so afraid he would be chopped up or something.
Sigh...he was fine. Never had a cat go into a couch before, or since. He was always so weird. He lived 18 years.
BTW, that cat Berg who has the world locked up inside a litter box, I can't physically touch him. He is feral (wild) but it doesn't hinder our relationship. Yes, he's feral but he so loves me and I him.
Thank You, Clarisse, as I am an animal rescuer. You know that blog of mine is personal. I don't take on ads and actually pay for it. Not expensive or nothing. just love the snark, love cosmetic product and saving animals. Love DListed. Hey, that's my gig
sickitten.com, home of many unwanted animals.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 6:12pm.
Dang, did anyone see this story?
Police: Woman drugs boss's coffee so he'll 'chill'
He is a veterinarian.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090313/ap_on_fe_st/odd_tranquilized
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no, but i had some kids that stole adderall in a treatment center and put it in the staff's coffee once...got a lot done that night!
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Team Stamiston!
Momus,
Well, it's a full house until all of the visitors get spayed/neutered and adopted.
Being a soft touch is a bitch sometimes!!
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The English language is a brick wall between me and you and "Fuck" is my chisel!
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 6:39pm.
I didn't mean fur kids when I wrote fur friends. I thought that you shared your home with more bunnies than just Max.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Momus!
LOL! Not my Max! He was neutered at 6 months!
It was a little girl that I pulled from a hoarder to take care of an infected fly-strike eyeball. Cleaned her peeper, packed it and put her to bed. Got up the next morning and checked on her, only to find blood spots all around the pen. So…in a total panic I rip the top off the pet carrier cuz she won’t come out and found 5 lil baby bunny heads nestled in the litter box.
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The English language is a brick wall between me and you and "Fuck" is my chisel!
Free kitteh! I can't imagine all the germs and nastiness in a Value Village cooch.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 6:21pm.
EIGHT???????????????
Your handsome Max has seven fur friends?
No wonder kitteh pee came to mind.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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The cat survived because he was feeding on all the rats that were probably living on that nasssty ass $27 couch.
Have you ever been a fruit before? - Blanche Devereaux
These people don't keep a clean house.That cat had to have at least pissed & crapped once.It's one of the reasons I'm wary of dating chix who have a dog & or cat.You can smell the critter & the hairs are usually everywhere.Some of my childhood was spent in rural areas.The dogs & cats stayed outside.
http://www.Scandaloushousewife.net
What the hell kinda GD couch is $27?
Momus,
LOL! I think I just made the jump to the stinkie because right now there are 8 rabbits downstairs. I'm cleaning A LOT of litter boxes!!!
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The English language is a brick wall between me and you and "Fuck" is my chisel!
That cat looks like mah fur baby!
(see avvie)
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
Dang, did anyone see this story?
Police: Woman drugs boss's coffee so he'll 'chill'
He is a veterinarian.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090313/ap_on_fe_st/odd_tranquilized_coffee
Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 6:00pm.
If you don't do the yard/garage sales, you miss soooo much! seriously. you just have to see the house that you're buying from, if it's clean, nice, go for it!
as far as clothes, well, I have these two things in my basement called a washer and a dryer.
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ITA. My washer has a sanitary cycle that superheats the water to 200 degrees. I use it for sheets, towels, and undies. If I can't use the cycle for used clothes then I use the appropriate bleach.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Can I haz me some Drama Chihuahua puleeze?
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
One month chip........................02/17/08
If you don't do the yard/garage sales, you miss soooo much! seriously. you just have to see the house that you're buying from, if it's clean, nice, go for it!
as far as clothes, well, I have these two things in my basement called a washer and a dryer.
I once got a cast iron candle lamp for outdoors that I can barely lift for three bucks, price that at pottery barn.
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it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
CTH,
RIGHT!?!?! UGH!!! Nassssteh!
As far as yard sales...Every year we have people donate stuff to the rescue for a fund raising sale and last year I got THE COOLEST thing ever!!! It was a ceramic rabbit cotton ball dispenser!!! You pull the cotton balls out of his bunny butt!!!!
http://www.shoppalstores.com/TexasCeramics/index.cfm/fa/items.main/paren...
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The English language is a brick wall between me and you and "Fuck" is my chisel!
@Clarisse and Stock Broker: I hadn't thought about the kitteh pissing. You'd think that the couch buyers would have noticed that long before the meowing.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by shandi on Fri, 03/13/2009 - 5:45pm.
Right? Not every cat has that going on.
My relatives and friends call him The Model.
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it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
Ew. That's gross - they really don't check that shit at all, huh?
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Clarisse
I didn't think about that but my God you're right!
cat piss is THE WORST.
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it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
glad the kitty is alright...but these folks who bought a used cough for only $27 is lucky the only thing they found inside it was a kitty...*blech*
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nice ass...when does it open?
poor widdle calico...musta been a bumpy ride
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
in
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1375754/
and
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1107394/
and
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1204966/
Um
I get clothes at yard sales that still have the store tags on them. and thirty five dollar hard cover books for a quarter.
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it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
Nevermind. Your twisty turny way of writing always confuses me! *sigh*
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
...I just want to know if she said, "THERE'S A PUSSY HANGING OUT IN MAH COUCH"....
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....proudly poisoning our men with Hungarian lemonade since 1906...
I bet the couch as cat piss and poop all over it.
Glad the cat is okay.
that kitteh is a "poser"
my Linus is a poser. you point a camera at the little fucker and he stops what he's doing, sits down and sits motionless staring at you until you click. he's also got a lot of personality, not something every cat has.
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We have three cats in our house and one of them (Cali) is a poser, too! She poses beautifully. We even had some professional pics of her done that are wonderful. I only bought one, an 8 x 10 to hang on the wall with pictures of my other kids. Cali has a lot of personality and is very in tune to people. Everyone that meets her notices it. You are right in that not all cats are like that.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
CTH,
I saw this story yesterday and read that the owner is actually retired military that has terminal cancer.
Regarding this story...
Um...can you IMAGINE the smell and chaos in a house where a cat can live for two weeks on the DL???? REALLY!!??!?!
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The English language is a brick wall between me and you and "Fuck" is my chisel!
The real irony is the owner sold the couch because he couldn't afford cat food.
Awww, kitteh. And I love the Chihuahua!
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Candlejack is back!
I've never even been to a yard sale. I don't believe in buying stuff that other people think isn't good enough to keep themselves.
Believe me, I've been to plenty of 'scratch and dent' parts of stores, but I've never bought anything secondhand. My sister gave me a few baby items, but thats it.
God I miss my cat. >sob<
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The milk is straight up fucking filthy! -MK
Please be careful buying used furniture people there has been an enormous outbreak of bedbugs lately, especially in NY, Im sure lots of other places too. I would never take 2nd hand furniture, nothing 2nd hand for that matter after an incident w/them.