Joaquin's Hobo Rapper Act Strikes Again
When Joaquin Phoenix gets up in the afternoon, does he pull his clean ass out of bed, walk to his backyard, roll around in dirt, throw a shit load of fleas on his beard, smear a bar of dick butter (found in any Food 4 Less) on his body and then head out the door? It's pretty much looking like Joaquin's whole "crazy man under the bridge" act is just that...a fucking act! The dick cheese doesn't smell authentic!
Last night in Miami, Joaquin performed at the Fontainebleau Hotel at around 2 in the morning. During his low-budget rap act, some douchebag in the audience got all cunty with Joaquin. This was Joaquin's cue to say, “We have a fucking bitch in the audience" The dude in the audience kept on, so Joaquin really burned him, “I've got $1 million in the bank. What have you got bitch?”A few beats later, Joaquin dropped his mic, bounced into the audience and Chris Browned the bitch. Security broke the fakery up and kicked Joaquin out of his own show.
Of course, Casey Affleck got the whole thing on tape for that "documentary" they are making.
Okay, I understand that Joaquin wants to join the "You So Artsy" club by doing this performance art shit, but can he drop the homeless man look? Can't he be a hot and freshly shampooed crazy person? Joaquin looks like one of the members of ZZ Top after spending time in The Biggest Loser house. That is not the look.
Johnny Louis/Wenn
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Here's my opinion on the hobo rapper: http://thingsiwanttopunchintheface.blogspot.com/2009/03/joaquin-phoenixs...
I'd still hit it. *runs away*
i can see a family of critters growing in all that hair...
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nice ass...when does it open?
"This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Logan Fazio/Storms Media Group."
Because it's all FAKE FAKE FUCKING FAKE FAKERY.
Actually a friend of mine wouldn't sign off on the footage of Mr. Dick Cheese getting "kicked out" of the club....which he begged for.
Stupid douche. I hope this all bites him in the ass.
Joaquin is one strange cat.
Would you like to make friends with people from other country or place?
Log on $$$ Mixed Friends. C o m $$$
Then you can get help and suggestions from all over the world.
While you may find your true love or friendship there.
FAIL smothered shit sammich for Joaquin to gobble up. Buen provecho!
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKr2n-9p7WM
DUDE IS ON CRACK!
need I say more?
I liked this guy *fake sobs*
And what's with the chanting...? UGH!!!
They're all on crack. He is so wack. YES. I brought back the word "wack".
That's how bad it is...there are no other words that could describe it...
____________________I <3 STEWIE!____________________
Oh, OK. I was worried that he was out of his fuckin mind. I can live much easier thinking he's just a tedious asshole. World's full a those.
He is just a bafoon with too much free time on his hands.
I'm tired of his fuckery. When is the mockumentary released? Casey Affleck has better things to do.
-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.
He looks like a serial killer.
I used to think JP was handsome in a "diamond in the rough" kinda way but lately homeboy looks like crap. I wonder what kind of drugs he's on?
and which bank is that? account number?? PIN?? I need proof of this supposed milli....
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People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
Will this mofo's next-of-kin please call in a 5150 for him, he's gonna hurt someone:\ Nvm, he's the "normal" one in that fam.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
I said it before adn I'll say it again...
This is a Phoenix that needs no rising!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Can we please, please, please, please please just ignore him and maybe he'll go away?
He's like a scraggly Zach Galifianakis - but not as funny.
*****
'K, MAH PUSSY IS HANGING OUT!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Ugh I am so over this bearded guy! He's a total fake and his movie acting is way better. This "performance art" is so transparent!
i wonder what would happen if no one reported on this crap and gave him the publicity he wants so badly. he would probably shower and go back to making movies. these people would shrivel up and die if they weren't being followed by cameras and figuring out new ways to become even more widely known. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Methinks Joaquin has seen "Man In The Moon" one too many times.
Andy Kaufman wannabe.. BOO!!!
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xx
I agree that it's fakery.
And let's not forget Sasha Cohen wasn't the first person to do this type of shtick. I remember Andy Kaufman doing something similar.
So, when I was working as an exotic dancer, some douchebag from "Third Eye Blind" came in one night and spent the whole night trying to get the DJ to play his crappy music, and making all the hard-working ladies feel like shit in mind-fuck ways because...I guess he didnt have anything better to do that night. ANyways, at a certain point my gentle reminder that he owed me a dance prompted him to begin screaming a barrage of insults at me, insulting me for working there, etc, and the coup de grace of course was" I've got 7 million dollars in the band! What do you have?"
Nice to know Joaquin Phoenix (former great actor) is on the same level as some shitbag has-been musician from a crappy band, reminding us that despite his cheesedick appearance, he will always be better than us because of his green paper. Bravo.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:50am.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:29am.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 10:30am.
Wait, i thought he was a rap artist...why is he fighting rather than rapping?...is he trying to get street cred?
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I can't help but wonder if there is some point he's trying to make. Rappers are always on about their "bank" and getting into fights...
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If he's trying to make the point that rappers are superficial, egotistical, and materialistic, then he's starting a beef with the whole rap community.
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Team Stamiston!
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 11:29am.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 10:30am.
Wait, i thought he was a rap artist...why is he fighting rather than rapping?...is he trying to get street cred?
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I can't help but wonder if there is some point he's trying to make. Rappers are always on about their "bank" and getting into fights...
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Yes, he needs to start a beef with someone to be legit
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Team Stamiston!
If it isn't a goof, he needs to spend some quality time with a psychiatrist.
If it IS a goof, he needs to spend some quality time with a psychiatrist.
Oh, and quality time with soap and water would be nice.
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Gotta love that Deb. Always makes me chuckle.
Good call MK. Fakery.
This is just plain nasty. And wrong. Yikes.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 10:30am.
Wait, i thought he was a rap artist...why is he fighting rather than rapping?...is he trying to get street cred?
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I can't help but wonder if there is some point he's trying to make. Rappers are always on about their "bank" and getting into fights...
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Its a dumb actor trying to rip off a comedic genius (Sasha Baron Cohen.) yawn. Unfortunately the joke is not on the audience but on the performer this time. What a dork.
"Can't he be a hot and freshly shampooed crazy person?"
Exactly...I would forgive Joaquin his crazy if he could just be clean!
Is this shit for real?!?
Enough, already. There's plenty of material for the "project." They've already killed the buzz, as it is. Maybe the end result will be interesting, but they're beating a dead horse at this point.
Wait, i thought he was a rap artist...why is he fighting rather than rapping?...is he trying to get street cred?
I am gonna say this though: his suit is smokin', and is perfectly tailored to him. (WTF, a-homeless-on-the-top, GQ-on-the-bottom " " rapper " "??) ... ahhhh, the contradictions of this wannabe psycho...
and AntBee - you have a major point! what is UP with all the bleeping of the F word on allegedly raw video!? more mocufakery at work...
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Submitted by Cocoa Mocha Sugar on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 10:14am.
If he really didn't give a shit what people think, he wouldn't have had a press conference, gone on Letterman, and he wouldn't be all over the news with his new "thing".
He's being a smug asshole. Reminds me of my first husband.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Eh, definitely, that is.
Looking at this guy I see a disrupture in the space/time continuum, because he is defenitely not from this planet.
I don't know about any of you but I fucking LOVE this new rap thing going on with joaquin. It's so fucking irreverent it's like, wow fuck the world. It's real rebel/bad ass. He doesn't give a shit about what any of us think.
Submitted by AntBee on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 10:02am.
Submitted by bigkidney on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 9:52am.
WHY, OH WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE GIVE MICHAEL K HIS OWN RADIO OR TELEVISION SHOW? YOU ARE A MILLION TIMES FUNNIER THAN KATHY GRIFFIN, CHELSEY HANDLER, ETC. ETC.
He hasn't suck the right dick just yet, Look at chelsea (who's fucking a E! somebody), I kind of like Cheslea, she called Piggez Disgusting in his fucking disgusting face.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
I think he is trying to pull a Borat or Bruno.
All this fuckery may soon be at a theater near you and not as a documentary. But for the looks of it, it may just go straight to DVD to collect dust on the shelves. Who is going to pay to watch that shit? I feel like I have already seen everything there is to it and I am not amused.
"Make someone happy. Learn to suck dick." - Public Service Announcement
Submitted by stupidadonna on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 9:52am.
Maybe it's just me. I've got a thing about men with massive beards anyway. (Santa Clause not included)
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LMAO You know Santa is the root cause of your beard lust. Big guy with a beard asking you as you sit on his lap what you want from him? What's not to love. We don't judge here.
At least not to your face.
You know, fuck Joaquin. There are so many better, (and more entertaining), things he could be doing with his talent and fame.
If it isn't a goof, he needs to spend some quality time with a psychiatrist.
If it IS a goof, he needs to spend some quality time with a psychiatrist.
Oh, and quality time with soap and water would be nice.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
FAKE and not even funny. FAIL.
God, this just keeps getting more PATHETIC with every new story.
Does no one else find him a bit sexy?
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why yes, yes i DO find MK quite sexy...xD
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Submitted by bigkidney on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 9:52am.
Joaquin looks like one of the members of ZZ Top after spending time in The Biggest Loser house. That is not the look.
WHY, OH WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE GIVE MICHAEL K HIS OWN RADIO OR TELEVISION SHOW? YOU ARE A MILLION TIMES FUNNIER THAN KATHY GRIFFIN, CHELSEY HANDLER, ETC. ETC.
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I ask myself the same thing, and then I come to the conclusion that I'd like to see Michael K live to a ripe old age, and stick around to bring us the snark all anonymous like. If he reveals himself, he'd be torn to pieces by the Brangeloonies, ala the followers of Dionysus.
Also, who the hell beeps out fucking curse words on raw video footage? Who the fuck are they trying to protect from hear a few fucking curse fucking words?
Fuckers!
You so ugly, you look like you got superpowers
Gee after so many years making movies he only has one million in the bank??? dude, I am not impressed. Go take a shower and jump in front of a lawn mower.
"Make someone happy. Learn to suck dick." - Public Service Announcement
Joaquin looks like one of the members of ZZ Top after spending time in The Biggest Loser house. That is not the look.
WHY, OH WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE GIVE MICHAEL K HIS OWN RADIO OR TELEVISION SHOW? YOU ARE A MILLION TIMES FUNNIER THAN KATHY GRIFFIN, CHELSEY HANDLER, ETC. ETC.
Does no one else find him a bit sexy?
I love the fact that he looks like a wild man who's been living in the forrest for a few years.
Maybe it's just me. I've got a thing about men with massive beards anyway. (Santa Clause not included)