Extreme Makeover: Pussy Edition
Okay, I'm all for a bitch doing what she has to do to get that pussy purring. If you got to go down to Home Depot and flirt with some power tools in hopes one might take you home and drill you down, FINE. But is a nut bust really worth turning your vagina into fucking shredded beef? The ho in this story answered a fuck yes to that question.
The 27-year-old woman of Saint Mary County in Maryland was airlifted to a hospital after a saber saw done fucked up her pussy. The woman and her dick for brains boyfriend decided it would be really fucking sexy to get all America Psycho on her vagina and fuck it with a "sex toy" (I'm assuming a dildo) attached to a saber saw. It wasn't long before the blade on the saw cut through the dildo and straight up turned her sugar walls into some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT. The dumb bitch went from screaming "Oh baby" to "Oh baby my pussy fell off!!!!"
The bitch was released from the hospital on Monday. She told police that the idiotic sex act was consensual and no crime was committed. Yeah, tell that to her pussy. May it rest in fucking peace. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY?! I mean, I hope that when they got home she took a power drill to his asshole so he can see how it feels. A SAW UP YOUR PUSSY? I still can't. She will never watch an episode of Home Improvement the same away.
And if you have a vagina, I hope you kept your hand over it the whole time. It didn't need to see this story. If it did, it would have turned inside out and closed its doors forever. It's not the one!
Good thing they didn't use a Milwaukee Hammer Drill.
This is why I'm for forced sterilization and against inbreeding.
Weirdness...I've heard of jacking dildos up to drills and saws and stuff but generally they remove the blades and bits...to me, that's a pretty obvious precaution...
♥ ThreadKilla!
No one likes a black nerd, Darnell.
A DListed Youtube Gallery
On a positive note: Maybe this will keep her from having kids--thus adding fewer fucktards to the gene pool.
My friend recommended me a very interesting place *** www.MeetBoomer.com *** where 4O plus mature singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with, and i've met many thoughtful singles who were trying to find true love. Maybe you should go on have a look. wish you find your loves........ Good luck!
Morning whores!
I had nightmare about this shit last night.
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by The C word on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 7:34am.
Morning Nit!
From now on whenever I think I've screwed up majorly I'm going to say to myself, "Well at least you didn't saw your ladybits in half."
Good idea. I used to say 'oh well, at least I've still got all my arms and legs' but this is better. Mine still hasn't come home, I'm going to have a file a missing gentials report. How silly am I going to feel?
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Submitted by The C word on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 7:34am.
Morning Nit!
From now on whenever I think I've screwed up majorly I'm going to say to myself, "Well at least you didn't saw your ladybits in half."
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Bwahahahaaa! That's looking on the bright side.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 7:26am.
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Morning Nit!
From now on whenever I think I've screwed up majorly I'm going to say to myself, "Well at least you didn't saw your ladybits in half."
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A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jdP7HUPbVs
Submitted by The C word on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 7:20am.
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Mornin' C word! I think that's perfectly normal given the situation. Now, if it starts to steam you might need to check out Yahoo Answers.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
I just found out that my no-no can turtle.
I didn't think it could do that until now.
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A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jdP7HUPbVs
My hand covered my na-na automatically once I started reading this, I have seen a porn with this toy - but the 2 chicks in it were smart enough to take the blade off and replace it with a dildo.
People really are scarystupid!
"I have never killed a human, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Submitted by Suki on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 7:30pm.
OMFG
that made me AND my vagina cry and scream out in horror
Me too. In fact it ran away. I don't know how far it will get but it took my purse so... Thanks a bunch, now I've got no money and no vagina.
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Submitted by lelu on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 3:11am.
SO true.
Is it wrong that I laughed my head off to this whole article.
I have a vagina but I still laughed.
That's wrong.
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The New Improved Wyle E
Some of us are still recovering from seeing Vadge's vintage sascrotch the first time. I still won't let my dog sit on my lap because it gives me terrible flashbacks.
Could you imagine being laid up in the hospital and the staff not being able to keep a straight face? It could be four in the morning when the tech comes in to take your vitals and no matter how tired they are, they're probably still grinning and holding it in.
Could you imagine being laid up in the hospital and the staff not being able to keep a straight face? It could be four in the morning when the tech comes in to take your vitals and no matter how tired they are, they're probably still grinning and holding it in.
Truth: If you have to resort to any kind of device, toy, torture, whips, domination, YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT!
When you and your partner are: monogamous, IN LOVE, healthy - the sky's the limit. I've been married for 6+ years, more in love than ever, the sex - amazing - get's BETTER with each passing year. And when you decide you want a baby - that sex is - hot, hot, hot! So look forward to that - OK young people!?!
I don't mean to brag, I just want to point out the other side of great marital sex instead of all the fucked garbage we read out there - truth be told, if you and your partner do it right - no accessories are needed!
I saw them use one of a girl on one of Howard Stern shows. It was like a make-shift one but the dildo didn't fall off
@TV,
nothing gets my motor running like a man with a Makita tool...
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
One month chip........................02/17/08
Another St. Mary's Co., MD resident here. I can't believe how much press this story is getting. UFB.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 1:13am.
There's an entire genre of porn dedicated to chicks fucking power tools, but $29.95 a month seemed a little high. They should go with Skil brand power tools and leave the 24volt lithium ion Makitas to us professionals.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
@Nitts,
Just in case you are ever asked about real time for "in a coon's age"...it is forty two years!
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
One month chip........................02/17/08
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 1:08am.
Helpful hints:
1) Get the reciprocating saw with the variable speed settings
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I am for anything that gives as good as it gets...oh, not that kind of reciprocating?
My vagina laffed it ass queefs off about this one!
Fuck me if people ain't just a little stoopid.
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
One month chip........................02/17/08
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 1:06am.
Nite hon, luv ya!!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Helpful hints:
1) Get the reciprocating saw with the variable speed settings.
2) Duct tape over the teeth before inserting into fake penis.
3) Don't shove power tools into your snooch.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Hey, Deb! *strokes your bare pussy avi in a completely platonic way* Heading out..but nice to see ya around! Too bad this isn't the britney thread, otherwise I could say something about a coon's age. xoxooxxoo
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:56am.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:55am.
TV, is that just a theory or do you have proof?!
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I'm not sure, I didn't have the 37 cents for the full tour.
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Dammit, I told you, you couldn't trust Dee and Slutty when they told you they were "good" for it!
*MuaH* Heading out, Mister. Thanks for helping me find my groove again. Who needs power tools when you're around? ;) G'night! xoxoxo
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
flagrant dildoist+penis mutata+vagina al dente=
twatinitis grosiclinguini
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
One month chip........................02/17/08
That's a reciprocating saw, so that makes it ok, ok?
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:55am.
TV, is that just a theory or do you have proof?!
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I'm not sure, I didn't have the 37 cents for the full tour.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
TV, is that just a theory or do you have proof?!
______________________________________________________
Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:45am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:38am.
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:36am.
is vagina dentata like hakuna mutata?
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That depends upon how intimately you know the Lion King.
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ROFLMAO, TV!!!! I happen to know, vagina dentata equals penis mutata.
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I'm pretty sure Tigerlilly has that.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:38am.
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:36am.
is vagina dentata like hakuna mutata?
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That depends upon how intimately you know the Lion King.
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ROFLMAO, TV!!!! I happen to know, vagina dentata equals penis mutata.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 12:36am.
is vagina dentata like hakuna mutata?
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That depends upon how intimately you know the Lion King.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
is vagina dentata like hakuna mutata?
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People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 11:43pm.
Oh fuck! *muttering* I guess this husband's "sex toy" trumps her case of vagina dentata.
*
Is that anything like pasta al dente?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tigerlilly exposed!!!1!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x8l7lj_shes-a-t...
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 11:31pm.
Submitted by missy on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 11:30pm.
tv, the clenching is silent... havent you ever been around a chick when shes "exercising"? we do it all the time without anyone knowing... yeah. secret pussy exercises.
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Yeah, like I was gonna pay extra.
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I just saw this... HA FUCKIN HAHAHAHAHHAA! big lol
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I'm a Single Bi MAn... want to find a bi-friend, Do you the one? Let's chat on Bi-Community B i g Bi S e x u al . C o M now..
counseling available from the john wayne bobbit institute
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
is
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1125351/
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 11:43pm.
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Speaking of paying extra! Hi Socky!!!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Oh fuck! *muttering* I guess this husband's "sex toy" trumps her case of vagina dentata.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by missy on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 11:30pm.
tv, the clenching is silent... havent you ever been around a chick when shes "exercising"? we do it all the time without anyone knowing... yeah. secret pussy exercises.
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Yeah, like I was gonna pay extra.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
tv, the clenching is silent... havent you ever been around a chick when shes "exercising"? we do it all the time without anyone knowing... yeah. secret pussy exercises.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
lol
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by missy on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 11:18pm.
And if you have a vagina, I hope you kept your hand over it the whole time. It didn't need to see this story. If it did, it would have turned inside out and closed its doors forever. It's not the one!
**
Im definately clenching!!!!
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Is that what that noise is?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
And if you have a vagina, I hope you kept your hand over it the whole time. It didn't need to see this story. If it did, it would have turned inside out and closed its doors forever. It's not the one!
**
Im definately clenching!!!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Been wanting to pee in the shower since 3 or 4pm. Jeez, can't quit this bitch.
= \
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKr2n-9p7WM
Dear God, those idiots spent too much time on the fuck machines site.
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“Yes, baboons are evil. Anything that steals your windscreen wipers while waving a red bum in your face is the work of the dark side." ~~ Graham Norton
Submitted by Triscuit on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 9:57pm.
oh hahah sorry. i was like askdjfhajskdfhajksdhfas her friend whaaaaaa???
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKr2n-9p7WM
sorry,I just got on here recently
♥
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Wed, 03/11/2009 - 7:35pm.
You should know who you are dealing with first.
I warn you...and yes pics of me are there.
http://sickitten.com/2009/02/28/whats-in-a-name.aspx
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Are you the girl with the black hair, with glasses on, standing underneath the Nazi flag? I found you in the Jewssip post on your blog...Are you Asian?
"People are strange when you're a stranger..." ~ The Doors