The Photoshop Awards: HoHan's "Sevin Nyne" Promo Pictures
What in the White Oprah dipped in diarrhea hell is this?! What is it? They tell me it's something called a Lindsay Lohan, but damn! They tried to Photoshop the cokeface off of her, but ended up turning her into a totally different species. And this crap is supposed to make you want to buy something she's selling! Hells no.
These two airbrushed to methland and back pictures are for HoHan's new line of caca in a spray bottle called Sevin Nyne. The number is important to her because it's probably the amount of times she ODed last year. Or maybe the number of genitals she licked on this month. Whatever. It means something.
When asked by People why she put out her own line of spray tan, she said, “As much as I love the sun, it is so bad for your skin. I have tried every product on the market and never found something that I loved. It was important to me to have a natural product that didn’t have a lot of dyes and chemicals. Our product has goji berry extract which has antioxidant properties, it has a natural golden color, it doesn’t streak and smells delicious — not like a typical tanning product.”
Translation: Bitch needs cash money. 8 balls and Red Bull don't come CHEAP!
Those of you who want to look like a Port-A-Potty full of orange doody exploded all over you can buy HoHan's crap at Sephora for $35 a bottle.
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her head....is so big.
Good for Hohan. If anyone would know about fake tans it would be her. For those random times (weddings, etc.) I want a little color I may check it out. It costs $40 just to get your face spray tanned in Lala Land. (but it looks good)
Why doesn't she just go to a fan fair and sell autographed pics of her punani? Oh...*that's* right. We've all seen it. No asking price.
God. Not even Monica from "All My Children" hawking "Magic Mud" on tv was as cringing as this.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 9:54pm.
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It was pretty cheese-tastic! lol I admit it~
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'K, MAH PUSSY IS HANGING OUT!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by luscious_t on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 9:49pm.
We are what we are - beautiful chocolate women, beautiful mochas, beautiful cream. We're all good.
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That made me all sorts of horny. And hungry. I mean, well said!
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"if you ever hit me I will kill you, and I mean kill you dead, do you understand that?" - Tigerlily
Will MK update this shit already? I can't stand Lilo's "I'll suck your dick for an 8 ball" face anymore.
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"if you ever hit me I will kill you, and I mean kill you dead, do you understand that?" - Tigerlily
Dayum, thought the purpose of using photoshop was to make a crackie ho-han look better.
Honstly, why do they keep using this washed up bitch? I'm not jealous or even a hater I just don't see how you get a job when you behave like she does. In the real world she would be on the dole by now. JMO
Submitted by Mel on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 9:41pm.
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Me, too - 'cept I was 14 and I was at camp, so I wasn't hospitalized. I had to shower about 3 times a day and scrub the burn down myself. Omg - it was miserable. I can't even remember how many times it blistered over - at least three. The kicker is that I knew then I couldn't tan, but I still let the critisms from others bother me then.
I don't care - a tan is a sign of damage - your organ is fighting disease. It's not sexy; it's just one more contrived way to make women feel like less simply for what they are. I think this whole tan thing is just as racist as saying someone is too black or too dark. We are what we are - beautiful chocolate women, beautiful mochas, beautiful cream. We're all good.
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'K, MAH PUSSY IS HANGING OUT!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
I'm a lucky mutt, German/English on mom's side, and Italian/Sicilian on dad's.
I have very pale skin, but I tan pretty well.
I know it's bad for me, but I feel and look much better with some color. I never used a spray-tan or a tanning bed.
In my landscaping biz, I'm outside working from March through November. I wouldn't have it any other way!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I honestly didn't know that was her upon first glance.
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"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." -Mae West
who is this thing?
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nice ass...when does it open?
I got a 2nd Degree Sunburn when I was 16 years old and was hospitalized.
After that I NEVER sunbathed again. I always used sunscreen and monitored my time in the sun.
During my 15 year high school reunion, I was complimented on how I looked like I was istill in my 20s where some of my classmates looked like they were in their mid 40s because of sun damage.
I don't use spray tanners either. I'm not interested in looking a carrot. This fad reminds me of the tanning pills they used to sell in the 80s.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 9:26pm.
she is so fucking gross, it's like who is the worst her or shittney?
That's a toughie, CTH. I think Shitney's worse. Blohan had much worse parents, and actually has a bit of acting talent. Plus, she didn't bring two kids into her grossness.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I'm so white I'm almost clear and you couldn't pay me enough to orange it up. I also have two pale redheaded children that I'll whomp the shit out of if they aren't proud of it.
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If you're so stupid that you can't see a hole that big, then by God you deserve to fall in it. -Morbidosity
Submitted by TOPANGA on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 9:07pm.
LOL who else but fat, bitch, ghetto ass, dumb whores work there. Sephora is always infested by trolls.
All that airbrushing and they made her eyes wonky? Wtf - that photoshopper needs to get demoted to mail room.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Submitted by Katt on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 8:18pm.
Fuck spray-tanning! Furthermore fuck fake-baking and sun-bathing. I have pale skin that took me years to be comfortable with
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Amen to that! I'm a pale ginge too. I used to get all kinds of rude crap from the ignorant rednecks I grew up with. Now that I live in a city that revels in diversity I get compliments on my pale skin.
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The milk is straight up fucking filthy! -MK
she is so fucking gross, it's like who is the worst her or shittney?
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it's the biggest dating site for wealthy and suclessful people.
OMG could they choose a worse spokeswhore?
Lindsay Lohan is, and has always OBVIOUSLY, been a sray tan DON'T! Now I know, fersure what NOT to buy.
♥ ThreadKilla!
No one likes a black nerd, Darnell.
A DListed Youtube Gallery
The FUCK is THAT???
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If you're so stupid that you can't see a hole that big, then by God you deserve to fall in it. -Morbidosity
I will never understand the concept of bottle tanning, or any tanning for that matter. Then again I'm not pale, so I guess I don't need it.
My ex's fat, bitch, ghetto ass, dumb whore of a girlfriend works at Sephora, so that alone immediately turns me off from purchasing this trash.
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 8:41pm.
*ding, ding, ding*
Sheeps wins!
Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 8:29pm.
ginges aren't suppose to tan,dammit! they're suppose to be pasty and freckled that's what's so appealing and the hair off course. cokehan looks like she bathed in urine.her hair and skin color are all kinds of wrong.
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ZACTLY! You don't see Julianne Moore doing this fuckery, do ya? Why? Cuz bitch is a hot ginge and she knows it!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 8:03pm.
THE IRONY!!!! It's like OctoCunt coming out with her own line of....
Contraception.
Are you sure this isn't a poster for the Hep C vaccine?
She's a beautiful woman.She's so gorgeous. I love her. I saw her profile with photos and videos at ___S e e k r i c h . c o m___ I also found her blog there.It's said that she's seeking for a rich man to be the BF ? Is that ture ???
ginges aren't suppose to tan,dammit! they're suppose to be pasty and freckled that's what's so appealing and the hair off course. cokehan looks like she bathed in urine.her hair and skin color are all kinds of wrong.
You can almost see up her nostrils.
For someone who is a known cokehead and looks like she bathes in hot wing sauce, John Q. Public is supposed to believe she's concerned about "dyes and chemicals?" The publicist who wrote up this quote must have been pissing his/her pants at how ludicrous this would sound.
I think Clarins and St. Tropez have the market covered on quality tanning products. This shit she's hawking would do well to sell at Dollar Tree.
Fuck spray-tanning! Furthermore fuck fake-baking and sun-bathing. I have pale skin that took me years to be comfortable with but back in the day i used to try all that self-tanning shit. some worked ok i guess but most were terrible! i remember one time some bitch at school made fun of my streaky knees! anyways, eventually i decided i looked better without it.
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"Dude, quit harshing my mellow!"
:D xoxo
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Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 8:12pm.
Thanks for setting 'em up, Hekki! ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
She's got a little Carol Alt goin' on in that photo.
Yes, I'm old.
Did she borrow those eyebrows from Wooly Willy?
Deb, zomay: I KNEW people would chime in with some good stuff! AH H AHA HA HAHA!
Like octomom coming out with self help books?
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Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 8:03pm.
THE IRONY!!!! It's like OctoCunt coming out with her own line of.... Oh never mind.
People? LOL!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Kinda looks like she's working her jaw a bit in that shot too.
Wow, that so does not look like Hohan.
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"Be the change you wish to see in the world."-Gandhi
Are they KIDDING?
How many years have we been laughing at her attempts at self-tanner?
THE IRONY!!!! It's like OctoCunt coming out with her own line of.... Oh never mind.
If her own line is what she's been using, I'll pass.
Sheeps on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 7:53pm.
Her marketing peeps nixed her first suggestion, Syxty Nyne, as bad for the youth demo.
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LOL. Or Sevyn Syxty Nyne, the price it will be during the summer clearance.
Submitted by zomay on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 7:55pm.
Eeeeeeee.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 03/10/2009 - 7:37pm.
"It was important to me to have a natural product that didn’t have a lot of dyes and chemicals."
As opposed to drugs, which are all natural.
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I knew a girl in high school who was vegan for the same reason. She went on and on about all these awful things they put in milk.
Apparently all of the acid she dropped, weed she smoked, and godknowswhatotherdrugs she did were completely natural. Amazing, isn't it?
Her marketing peeps nixed her first suggestion, Syxty Nyne, as bad for the youth demo.
Looks like the graphics people merged her face with Keira Knightley's and used the Photoshop airbrush tool to give the photo a Jersey tan.
I've always wanted that perfect crack tan. Thanks Lindsey
ha ha, sevin dust for fleas! fits perfectly for this mangy looking bitch...
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People need not to fuck with me right now!--jussayin