America's Next Top Model: I Can't Go Back To Buffalo!
This shit contains spoilers from last night's America's Next Top Model, so slide down Ty Ty's tenhead to the exit if you don't want to know anything. So....
Every season, without fail, Ty Ty cuts the bitch I feel closest to on episode one. The object of my affection this season is Angelea, the hoodrat from Buffalo. Angelea didn't even make it into the house! But I cherish our time together. I knew we were one of the same when she quoted the profound Jade: "This is not America's Next Top Best Friend." Angelea also told Ty Ty that she wanted to be a model so bad that she slept in Port Authority in NYC, because she had nowhere to go. Bitch should have shouted a "hoody hoo" and I would've come running to bring her to my apartment. She an open invitation here. We can sip on some Zin and 7Up while watching Woo.
Of course, someone had to "pull" at Angelea's buttons, because they were obviously jealous of her skills. That evil bitch Sandra immediately went after Angelea! I'm sort of glad she did, because then I was able to see Angelea doing what she does best: talking shit! After Sandra finally realized who was the head bitch in charge was and backed off, Angelea went off to her photo shoot where she posed as the Goddess of Love. Angelea worked that shoot like the back rent was due and the eviction notice was on the door. Not really, but in my mind she did.
After the shoot, Angelea and her stunning nails went to be depressed together away from that skank Sandra. Angela should have just stared at her nails and that would have put her in a better mood. I'm pretty sure 10 scenes from first episode of The Gummi Bears was painted on her nails. Looking at that will cheer anybody up!
Fuck that Top Model shit! Angelea is going straight to the silver screen. There is a remake of B*A*P*S in the works somewhere that has Angelea's name on it!
And that girl Allison is totally not human. She has to be some kind of alien marmoset or something.
I leave you with the Goddess of Kararararazy serving up a hot plate of roasted ham with all the fixings. If you look closely, you can see ripples in the water. That's the pool giving her the side eye.
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Just one season, I would like to see this contest be settled with knives.
Give all these hungry bitches weapons and let them battle it out to the end. That would be good TV.
First of all, there is no way Angelea is from Buffalo. She is totally not nasally enough.
Second, she should be deemed hot slut of the month for March.
Submitted by One-trick Pony on Thu, 03/05/2009 - 7:57pm.
Oy. I'm originally from Buffalo, but I never met a class-act like that. "I ain't gon' let her pull my buttons." Pull?
Isn't "New York" from Buffalo?
Submitted by gyeah on Thu, 03/05/2009 - 8:18pm.
Yo gyeah, I should cut you since I haven't seen your bitch ass in forever. How's the cat? I know I'm like eleventy years late on this.
P.S. I'm really hoping you won't say your cat died, because then I'll feel like a piece of shit. :(
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"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Bitch should have shouted a "hoody hoo"
You just gave up the DListed Batsignal!!
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snark: It's not right but it's ok.
Ha ha, "London" from Arlington, Texas. Any bitch from Texas who is named, or calls herself, "London", would end up on this show.
As always, seeing the brief clips and your commentary is probably more entertaining than watching the show.
OH no MK didn't with that quote about Allison. I gotta go pee and watch American idol.
As for the light skin vs dark skin, Sandra is obviously insecure that's why she acts like an evil bitch. From the moment she stretched out both of her arms in front of Angelea and that other girl I knew it was gonna be a dark vs light war. Sandra was clearly the instigator and I wanted to see her get clocked so bad my mouth was salivating. Why can't a bitch get beat down at least once on this show? Why?
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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If I was Angelea, I would of bitch slapped Sandra after she shoved her when she went up to get her envelope, bitch was going home anyway, she should of gave that whore something to remember her by.
Yeah! Well! That Wonky Eyed Blond Bitch Freak's Me The Hell Out! WTF!
ANTM Freak Show? What's Up with BULDGING EYES winning the Phot Shoot?
Freakin Weird!
light skinned black people vs. dark skinned black people...reminds me of jail....*sigh*
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Sandra is an ugly bitch. Just. Plain. Ugly. I'm all for the mahogany revolution but she is not a liberator. She's ugly from the inside out. Bitch Bitch Bitch
As for Thalia, I think Tyra is just being cruel instead of innovative. The girl wants to show her skin, why is she leading her on to think she's going to have a Top Model career? I feel bad for her but damn.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Who cares about ANTM. I wanna see another Rock of Love Bang Bus post! I don't have cable, so the only way I hear about that fuckery & faggotry is through Dlisted!
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"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Oops. I see now that MK also picked up on the "pull my buttons" comment. I should read the whole post before commenting! *looking sheepish*
Rule #1 of modeling... Since you're from some fucked up nowhere, and you had a weird childhood, the first thing you do in the city is find a cute boy to live with until you find a job and / or a sugar daddy.
But she's sweet and will probably fly straighter than I did.
Sandra is an ugly nasty bitch. MK I was rooting for Port Authority girl too.
I am now rooting for Allison. She looks like those velvet paintings with the GIANT eyes. She is kinda a haunting little creature. I just want to take her to a haunted house and show her off to the other scary creatures.
Team Allison ( I can't believe I just wrote that)! Wooooo Hoooooo!
Allison also thinks that bloody noses are beautiful and is envious of those who get them. She is creepy, but I love her for her creepiness!
Oy. I'm originally from Buffalo, but I never met a class-act like that. "I ain't gon' let her pull my buttons." Pull?