The Curse Has Struck Early
Who will saaaaaaave Jewel's knee?! Apparently not much will, because she might be out of Dancing for Relevancy. Alaska's favorite snagtooth has been struggling in rehearsals because of tendinitis. UsWeekly says that Hef's former colostomy bag changer, Holly Madison, is joining the cast and may be Jewel's replacement.
Jewel will be on the show's season premiere this Monday, but announce that she's quitting that bitch because of her jacked up knee. Fuck that mambo crap, how is Jewel going to give impromptu blow jobs in parking lots and alley ways? I'd be more concerned about that than skipping around in sequins. Did I just say that?
CHERYL BURKE is really something else for starting the curse early. The show hasn't even begun and the witch is already taking out her competition. Yes, Mop Head's partner, Gilles Marini, pulled his groin, but she did that to throw everybody off. And she really wanted an excuse to rub her mop head all over his crotch. She told him it's some special kind of massage.
The other contestants better stay indoors and keep a Swiffer close, because CHERYL BURKE is coming for them next. She can't stand Swiffers.
(^_^)(^_^)(^_^) May every Jack has his Jill. Still Don't have a date?
Check out______Mixed Friends. C o m ______
There are Over millions of profiles from all over the world!Everything is FREE!
Don't forget to tell your friends! (^_^)(^_^)(^_^)
LOL, she left Alaska 15 years ago...
I might watch if Holly goes on the show. I have to say, I love the way her boobs look! They look so real. That would suck if she had to go back to Alaska.
NO surgery, Jewel has always had big boobs! That is just a bad picture - actually, a bad dress/bra crushing her boob.
Natural ---> http://i44.tinypic.com/zja5hu.jpg
Something be wrong with Jewel's titty.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
emm, u are so sweet.. but i just found out your secret that you have joined the online club
___S e e k r i c h . c o m___ , by which you are seeking rich man to be your sugar baby!
Jewel used to have some nice rack...but it's her snaggle teefs that kinda bother me.
http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2007/11/jewel.php?img=/uploads/2007/11/jew...
-------------------------------
Team Jewel Boob job! She totally had the better one! But wasn't that whore stacked to begin with?
Didn't Sean Peen hit that?
I have so many questions about ze Jewel, but I bet the reason why she's bowing out of Dancing with the Has-beens ain't cuz of no knee. It's cuz bitch got a monkey on her back. Yep, I think she's had some face work done too. She's attempting a comeback, but the public never knew why she went away. If she's on this tele-shit, we have the answer. That's some desperate shit. But to NOT EVEN MAKE IT???? Mm'mmmm....Bitch is on drugs.
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Flea should have left Jewel homeless in her stupid ass truck in Bumbafuck, USA. He's an asshole.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
snark: It's not right but it's ok.
Hate to kiss ass but MK you're the best.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
snark: It's not right but it's ok.
Jewell showed such promise when she first broke on the scene with songs like "Who will save your soul." But it's been downhill for her since her god awful collection of poetry was thrust upon a sentimental, undiscerning public. She's been pandering ever since.
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
Submitted by xplnyrslf on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 10:24pm.
I haen't seen real boobs on this site, since forever.
*******************************
See Britney - page two:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
OCTOMOMMY STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Finally! February Highlights #1!
FUCK YOU, WMG!!!
I haen't seen real boobs on this site, since forever.
Bad boob job, Jewel.
................................................
The lone memaw who will keep us all well-fed during the next depression.
I thought in order to be on DWTS you have to be an actual celebrity?
::"You backstabbing two-timing scallywag! And as God as my witness, I will never shampoo your hair again!" - Blanche Deveraux::
WTF? All the people fighting to get on this show and that's the best they can do?!
Damn it, can't tell those two apart - which one is Jewel and which is Holly?
Oh yeah that's right, I remember now - Jewel is the Alaskan with talent, versus the bottle blond with none, a.k.a. Hef's former BenGay applicator.
Bwahahahahahahaahahaha!
I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
i can't stand holly
Oh this should be a hoot watching Holly, she has the rhythm of a cucumber! TRAINWRECK FER SURE!!
Bridgette will be on TV for a show called Bridgette's Beaches, where she goes all over the world to the best beaches....*YAWN*
And Kendra will have a show staring this summer about her new house and new piece of cock...*HUGE YAWN YAWN*
So that leaves hapless Holly without a show since she cant be pulled out of Criss Angels hat or ass during his lame magic show, she needed something to do. But I definitely will be watching DWTS.
OMG - if Holly joins the show I might actually watch this mess - not because I'm a fan, but becasue bitch has no talent and I want in on that trainwreck! lol
*****
I am AMAZING!!!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Woodhorse, Jewel is married to some rodeo guy who's ALSO on DWTS this season. For someone who's only seen the show once 2 years ago I know too much about this. I blame MK.
__________________________________________________
"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
That's what I was thinking KandyK - 4 fake titties and somehow Holly's look better than Jewel's. Weird booby action there.
__________________________________________________
"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Well, Holly has to earn some money somehow since she's now living w/Ma & Pa since her split with the magician dude. Maybe she'll get a TV show out of her stint like Mario and Joey did...the poor girl has to make a living since she doesn't have a sugar daddy anymore.
holly is good
she always knows how to be in the right place
www.thatshideous.com
I think Jewel's fucked up boob job may have something to do with the knee. Not sure what but I am positive that there's a connection ... maybe the doc did something baaad to her while she was out? Perhaps?
blonde blonde fake boobs groins blaaah
.
haven't ever watched this show. don't plan on starting.
*********************************************
“I am taken very seriously as a businesswoman, in the business world and by the people I do business with”
-Paris Hilton
It was the weight of carrying around her enormous lyrical talent.
hoelly...I wish it was Kendra dancing. Itd be far more interesting...
I guess Jewel will just have to do a Playboy layout.
Can I get directions to this parking lot?
They wilil all be dancing in hell soon enough!
http://www.alistz.net
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Wed, 03/04/2009 - 4:28pm.
:) could be.
we both hot girls right?
-------------------------
'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Her tits are more jacked up than her knee...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
The Audrey i thought it was her too!
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Sensimina: "All we were ever meant to get out of Britney was her trodding around stage in whore outfits and lip synching."
Didn't Jewel get married? Why is she still giving blow jobs in alleys? Just for fun?
HOLLY IS A WHORE.....
Bitchette ..are you my twin?
____________________________________________
I need some sunny weather!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------
Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding.
Diane Arbus
---------------------------------------------------------
Do Jewels breasts have two bottoms?
In other news, Holly's fake tits look nice in that pic, and Jewel's (fake?) ones look WONK. Fix that shit please.
*______________________________________________*
♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
PUT FUCKING OCTOMOM ON THERE AND I WILL STILL NOT WATCH, BUT MAYBE THEY CAN PAY THAT FUCKING IDIOT CUNT SO US CALIFORNIA TAX PAYERS DON'T HAVE TO!
WHO THE FUCK CARES!!!
yeah- I don't watch this shit but I might just for Holly.
also- of course people are getting hurt dancing. people who have been dancing for 20 years still get hurt. (me) I got quadricep tendinitis at 16 from ballet. If you're not in shape and you try to make your body do things it's not trained to do, you will hurt yourself eventually.
-------------------------
'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I think it's kind of sad that jewel's career has come to this. She has so much talent. Too bad.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Whew! I almost thought that was Hayden Pantytrolls again. My hatred for that bitch is intense.
*______________________________________________*
♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
I dont watch this show..but I would totally watch it for Holly lol my standards are all screwed up
____________________________________________
I need some sunny weather!!!!!
Also? The reason all these people faint (supposedly) and get injured is because they're not trained dancers. I know trained dancers injure themselves, but if you REALLY don't have the correct muscle memory, you're prone to injury.
Say what you will...I LOVE Jewel. And I'll take her snaggle-tooth over a mouth full of Chiclets anyday too.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Dear Lord! Can the show go any lower?
Cheryl Burke was on the cover of some rag at the supermarket checkout and was completely unrecognizable. And uglier than ever.