Pepaw Ed Is In The Hospital
When Ed McMahon almost lost his caramel square kingdom last year and his gold digging wife used the shit out of their AMEX card, I figured 2009 would be a better year for him since 2008 was full of suckery. Well, I figured wrong, because Ed is laid up in the ICU and it's not looking pretty.
Pepaw Ed has been in the hospital for weeks with that evil ass devil known as pneumonia sitting on his lungs. TMZ says condition and is really serious and one bitch close to Ed said, "It's not great, to say the least."
I realize that Ed has a case of the olds, so he might have to shuffle off to the great beyond soon to co-host The Heaven Show with Johnny Carson, but he can't go like this. It's just sad. Somebody get your ass down to Ed's bedside with a bunch of balloons and a check for one million hugs. Okay, that last sentence was sponsored by KRAFT. It'll taste even better between two slices of fried bread.
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Bender: Hey. What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.
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Bender: Hey. What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.
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My prayers go out to Ed. He's an icon and my favorite make believe pepaw.
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"What don't you fucking understand"?
-Christian Bale
We have always wondered why some men - like Ed McMahon and Donald Trump - have to pay such huge sums of money for fish. These men always seem to end up with gold-digging semi-pro fish who take them to the cleaners for $$zillion$$.
But take Woody Allen - older than dirt and uglier than sin. Woody pays almost nothing for fish - and reasonably young, hot fish at that!
We can only conclude that men like Ed and Donald are 'sizemologically challenged', i.e., they are afflicted with that dreaded conditia known as 'tinymeat'. Woody Allen, on the other hand, is said to be horse-hung.
We rest our case!
I agree with you Michael, perhaps the time has come for Ed to leave us.....how sad, he seems like a good guy.
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Be the change you wish to see in the world-Gandhi
poor ed...hope he's not in pain
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
is
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1125351/
It's been reported that he has the Big C, too:(
I hated Ed for years with his fake laugh and useless comments. But THEN I went to a taping of Johnny Carson at the NBC Studios in the mid 90s (or was it the late 80s? So long ago). Anyway...Ed came out before taping and was SO friendly with the audience (so was Doc Sevrinsen) and told some great jokes. During the breaks (they actually pause for the commercial break length time for some reason) Ed came out and told dirty jokes and I actually grew to very much like him.
Johnny Carson, on the other hand, had almost zero interaction with the audience and during the breaks just sat at his desk with a blank stare like George Bush did in office. Fuck you Johnny...I know you're beyond worm food now, but fuck you, you elitist asshole.
Despite never winning the Publisher's Clearinghouse, I do wish Ed a quick recovery and, if not, may he piss on Johnny Carson when he gets to wherever he is going.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Poor Ed, I hope he's pain-free, comfortable and peaceful. That's all any of us can hope for.
Submitted by Stoney: Stoney's hate mail to Dr. Phil:
Go, Stoney!
He doesn't give two craps about Octomom, and I promise you that he has nothing but contempt for her, AND he knows she's a nutter. The only reason I can think that he wants to "help" her is to get people to watch his retarded show. Which I almost refuse to do. But I will watch the re-broadcast on Channel 55 at 7:00. Probably.
I STILL can't figure out why Nancy Grace hasn't excoriated this psycho yet. Granted, finding Haleigh is more important, but...
Poor Ed...I just saw him on a "sell your gold" commercial along with MC Hammer and some other guy who spent all his money on crap.
Hope he gets better soon..... Sorry guys, but I can't talk mean about an old sick guy whose golddigging wife spent all his money. That's just rude!!!
Yeah, I said it!!!!
I can't believe he's still married to this wild spending gold digger. If my wife ran up credit card bills like it was going out of style & wouldn't rein in her spending, I'd have cut the cards in 1/2 immediately & put her spendthrift ass on a budget...
Ha. I used to be a "O" and "411" operator and I'd hold my thumb over the tube we had to speak into and say, "So what.... So what" rolling my eyes and talking to people near me the whole time people would be going on and on about some dumb telephone problem and would not shut up.
Ed Mc-Damned
http://www.AlistZ.net
ubmitted by Albatross on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 3:31pm.
Submitted by Zappy on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:57pm.
What's good about answering the phone is that you can always flip the bird.
Hee hee - I've done that! And, I've put people on hold just so I can call them an asshole.
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When I'm working at the store and some asshole came in my 10 items or less line with 69 cans of cat food (each one has to be scanned) while he was yelling on his cell phone I told him to 'fuck off have a nice day'. The other customers (who know me) were laughing and he looks up and goes ..'You have a nice day too'. Then I called him an asshole. He didn't even hear.
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
-Unknown
Submitted by Zappy on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:57pm.
What's good about answering the phone is that you can always flip the bird.
Hee hee - I've done that! And, I've put people on hold just so I can call them an asshole.
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"What doesn't kill you, only makes you STRANGER."
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:55pm.
I have to answer the phones at work, and I want to tell everyone who calls to go fuck themselves.
LOL - I feel that way every damn day, and I don't even have PMS.
OT: God bless ya, Ed.
********
"What doesn't kill you, only makes you STRANGER."
I always get everybody's gender wrong here and don't realize until 6 months later. lol
*****
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Let's just get it out in the open. Just because you are a rabid adopter, zealous breeder, star as benighted mothers in movies no one watches and live in France, you are not a better person.
Thank God for Medicare or they would kick his ass out.
Stoney -*shocked* How did YOU know!?!?!?
*looks around for camera's*
Ok, off to open post.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:58pm.
Dude, I emailed that shit to the show!!! For actual real.
LOL @ johnnys
It makes me feel a 'little' bad when they say nice things to me after I was bitching them out in my mind.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:58pm.
YES!!!!!!!
Oh emerald cut!!! How did you KNOW?!?!
Submitted by Zappy on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:57pm.
What's good about answering the phone is that you can always flip the bird.
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I'm an AMAZING actress. People tell me all the time how wonderful and helpful I am on the phone. Of course they can't see how hard my eyes are rolling while they're taking 20 minutes to ask their stupid questions. Dammit, *I* deserve an Oscar!
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Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. -MK
Love that letter, Stoney! I'll save the rest for open post. I feel like I'm disrespecting Ed. : (
*gets down on knee*
*raises diamond ring*
Stoney, will you marry me? Again?
In the hospital? I thought he was dead.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:55pm.
*sends Stoney postage to mail letter to Dr. Fool*
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:55pm.
@ Zappy and ME --
I'm right there with you, paddling along in the PMS boat.
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What's good about answering the phone is that you can always flip the bird.
Stoney's hate mail to Dr. Phil:
I can't BELIEVE you have the NERVE to ask people to donate to that selfish, spoiled, mental midgit Nadya Suleman. My hard-earned money goes to pay my BILLS (not that she would know anything about THAT), not to the hands of a greedy pyschotic breeder who has committed FRAUD against the diability system. I'm not paying to plump up her hideous lips! Her babies will be FINE. That is, they will be fine in FOSTER CARE WHERE THEY BELONG!!!! A new low for the man who has the AUDACITY to tell ME to get real!!! Get real yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ Zappy and ME --
I'm right there with you, paddling along in the PMS boat.
I have to answer the phones at work, and I want to tell everyone who calls to go fuck themselves.
>fluctuates wildly between shame and rage<
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Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. -MK
Ya know, I never watched the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Mebbe I was too young (I am 33)? I mostly remember Ed from commercials - I don't have any nostalgic feelings for him.
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Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. -MK
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:48pm.
I hope he donates his teeth to science.
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LMMFAO....I pictured him blowing up his teeth in a science building...
but then I re-read it.
Dr. Phil can go fuck himself. I hate that piece of shit, and the fact that he wants to help that crazy cunt Nadya Suleman only reinforces the fact that he is a stupid, Southern fuck without a thought in his head beyond how he can take advantage of things to his own benefit. I wish the most painful death imaginable on that fucker, and I hope it's on live TV.
Dr. Phil said he found Octomom to be likeable and "polyanna-ish" in thinking she could handle 14 children. The interview was ridiculous, but I sat through the entire thing, so maybe I'm ridiculous.
Zappy - mine are about to burst. GIMME PIZZA!!!!
:PMS face:
"The Heaven Show" now that's an idea...I wonder what it'd be like. :\
If Ed kicks it, you KNOW his gold digger wife is going to carry on with the lawsuit over his neck injury. Lawsuits live on after the living are gone. I think they are still fighting over the Anna Nicole Smith inheritance from her dead old husband.
ubmitted by M.E. on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:48pm.
Zappy - YES! Hormonal!!
MK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop watching Judge Judy with MAMA K and get us an open post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My hormones just scream these days.
Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:18pm.
Hiiiiii-OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!
At Eds age he does that everytime he has good bowel movement.
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You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
I hope he donates his teeth to science.
Yep, looks like Ed’s on his way to the big Clearing House in the sky.
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A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jdP7HUPbVs
Zappy - YES! Hormonal!!
MK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop watching Judge Judy with MAMA K and get us an open post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Shuffles off to write hate mail to Dr. Phil*
Submitted by Reeter on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:44pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:40pm.
Open post, dammit! I NEED to talk about Octomom. Anyone got any new links for me?
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I watched her interview with Dr. Phil yesterday. He's trying to get people to donate to her.
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I didn't think I could hate him more than I already do, but I do!
Why does he give the bitch all HIS money!?
Awesome. Best news I've heard all day. I'm over this irresponsible asshole. Wah wah, he's 90 and has medical problems. Big fucking shock.
And Ed, I forgive you for lying to me about the million dollars that I NEVER won.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 2:40pm.
Open post, dammit! I NEED to talk about Octomom. Anyone got any new links for me?
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I watched her interview with Dr. Phil yesterday. He's trying to get people to donate to her.
It was those bong hits he's been doing with Michael Phelps.......
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."