That's What I Thought
Sheriff Leon Lott of Columbia, SC has finally taken the stick out of his ass and smoked it up, because bitch is chilling out with the whole Michael Phelps investigation. Sheriff Lott said in a press conference this afternoon that he won't file any charges against the God of the Sea based on that picture of him taking a bong hit. Sheriff Lott said, "Having thoroughly investigated this matter, we do not believe we have enough evidence to prosecute anyone that was present at the November party."
Sheriff Lott should change him name to Sheriff Obvious. Fucking duh. I bet this ho and his gang of morons just used this shit to get a hold of as much weed as they can for themselves. That's why police officers love donuts so much! No judgments here.
But seriously, the stoners of the world should unite and form their own investigation to find the twatty who sold the pictures of Phelpsie blowing a bong to The News of the World. That traitor must pay! Punishment: a lifetime without the green. That's basically a lifetime of sadness.
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I just want to smoke a bowl, make some peanut butter cookies, forget to cook them , and look at that photo of the God of the Sea. While eating the batter. With a fork.
Why did you put Michael Phelps head on Madonnas body?
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¿Por Qué No Te Callas?
As a resident of this moronic city, I'm so glad you wrote about this. This is a college town. If he wants to arrest people for hitting bongs, motherfucker better clear out all the jails because that would mean 3/4 of this town would have to be locked away.
Sheriff Obvious - ha! Can I use that? Because, seriously what a douche.
OK good now perhaps that Sheriff Whatsisname can get out there and book any manner of rapists and murderers and quit wasting taxpayer money.
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I think the Sheriff pursued it just to make a point and not to actually make arrests. And I hope it scared the shit out of the twatnicks who took the picture in the first place. Don't be fuckin with Phelps.
Go Michael!. I'm ready to unite and fight!
Phelps looks like this freezer burned jerky that I have in my freezer. yum.
Estrogen a-poppin!
No shit he didn't have enough evidence...think that was pretty obvious before the "investigation"!
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
Submitted by blueangel on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 10:28pm.
nah, look at it from the point of view of the hard core right. If he had done nothing they would have vilified him.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
The SC sheriff knew he wouldn't be able to obtain enough evidence to prosecute Phelps but he went after him anyway in order to keep his own name in the limelight. Ultimately his "investigation" resulted in a waste of county resources and taxpayer money. IMO this publicity loving fool should be brought up on charges of fiscal irresponsibility and dismissed.
Tiger-Phelps
rather fucking scary.
I wish now I hadn't.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
"But seriously, the stoners of the world should unite and form their own investigation to find the twatty who sold the pictures of Phelpsie blowing a bong to The News of the World. That traitor must pay!"
YES! The only thing this kid did wrong was burning one down with a bunch of ASSHOLES. Bad karma comes to those who nark.
And in our household, weed is now known as "The Drug of Champions." Thank you, Phelps!
Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 10:04pm.
I bet Sheriff Lott likes it in the butt!
...a lot/lott.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
I bet Sheriff Lott likes it in the butt!
I'll bet Sheriff Lott likes his new Mustang GT parked in his driveway a lot.
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Ok,stop puffing the magic dragon.
Submitted by jussayin on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 9:26pm.
millions of singles, eh?
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puppy side eye.
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Meh, I'm holding out for trillions of singles. You know only 10% of the population is datable, right? Yeah, I'm holding out for the trilly factor...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
millions of singles, eh?
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puppy side eye.
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Money always talks with celebs:(( I'm sure there'll be a 3rd time for Phelps.
I read this at 4:20 California time, so excuse me if i cough while posting --i'm doing bonghits in Phelps honor tonite!
-if the shoe fits, you're doing it wrong--
every time mk shows a pic of this guy i immediately think of brown paper bag
Submitted by Miss Thang on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 7:19pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 7:08pm.
But the face is something only Taterhead could love...and I don't mean the new improved pussyfied Taterhead either.
He defines the term butterface...
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Yeah, Mike is hideous in the face. But he either doesn't know or doesn't care. I mean, if he would even just fix his snaggleteefs, that would be a huge improvement. It's just wrong to have a divine body with such an unfortunate mug :(
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Yeah, he's just got Taterhead syndrome...Ain't nothing gonna fix that but a full on head transplant...Well, unless you can get TITS as your plastic surgeon, of course...:-)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
He has dark nipples.
Submitted by Miss Thang on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 7:19pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/16/2009 -
It's just wrong to have a divine body with such an unfortunate mug :(
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It's the good ole American system of checks and balances. Helps us act less slutty. :-)
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At least I look like I can breathe oxygen without the help of a tank.--MK
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 7:08pm.
But the face is something only Taterhead could love...and I don't mean the new improved pussyfied Taterhead either.
He defines the term butterface...
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Yeah, Mike is hideous in the face. But he either doesn't know or doesn't care. I mean, if he would even just fix his snaggleteefs, that would be a huge improvement. It's just wrong to have a divine body with such an unfortunate mug :(
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 5:15pm.
That mans body is a thing of beauty.
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But the face is something only Taterhead could love...and I don't mean the new improved pussyfied Taterhead either.
He defines the term butterface...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Sheriff Lott is probably related to that creepy senator or former senator
Trent Lott.....
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
what a waste. sucha hot body with sucha FUG face. ... he's kinda like a bulldog... like theyre so cuteee with their tail and everything... then u see the face.... and you're unsure...
I like http://www.starpulse.com/Music/Tyrese/gallery/TYRESEJS003/
lol
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puppy side eye.
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:42pm.
"...And Phelps, you're famous now. Find out what the "down low" is and keep it there. Dumbass."
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Yes, this is the f-g point! It's not that Kellogs and USA Swimming thought Phelps was 100% a 'goody goody,' but that he demonstrated an increasingly erratic sense of judgement and failed to keep this on the 'down low.' It was antithetical to the image he put out there:
Phelps's Media Image vs. Phelps's Actual Actions
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*Phelps Foundation Donor vs. Vegas Gambler
*Wants private, real girl vs. stripper/porn escort
*Breakfast of Champions vs. Porn Flakes/Weedies
*Swims like a fish vs. Drinks like a fish
*Family oriented vs. Cross-cuntry (keeping typo) party hopper
*Promoter of water safety vs. pouring water on a female bar patron in Columbia, SC.
*Wants adult-sized endorsement contracts vs. wanting to be excused because he's only 19 yrs old or only 23 yrs old...
....And on and on. But I get the Phelps 'out of control' thing, totally. He was socially isolated before winning and the more he wins, the more isolated he gets. The more isolated he gets, the more he turns inwards and needs sex, drugs, and alcohol to cope. The more he abuses these outlets, the more isolated he gets. The more people see him struggle, they increasingly think and say to themselves and others: 'hey that guy Phelps - with all the gold medals and cash - can be defeated in real life.' They then they set out to trap him up and have fun watching "mighty"
Phelps fall from grace. Phelps realtes to this, even though he resents it because it follows the normal pattern of bullying, to which he became acustomed early on in life, while being bullied.
Phelps makes it easy because he has poor self esteem and buys into it all. Michael, get some phelp, fast, and surround yourself with people who REALLY care about you, not your money and/or fame...
"Throughout the ages & in dire economic times, color co-ordination may not be applicable" -OB '09
Glad Lott finally proved he's not a total idiot & for sure the rat he smoked with should be banished from ALL future smoking circles. And if the weed dude knows who the rat is they've already lost *that* connect! (unless of course the weed dude IS the rat!! dun dun duuuunn LOL) i shouldn't smoke before commenting....
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~~Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet~~
I agree with TITS. I love his body.
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Too many dicks, too many dongs, too many schlongs, now sing this song.
- Flight Of The Conchords
Submitted by jussayin on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 5:28pm.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 5:15pm.
That mans body is a thing of beauty.
....what the fuck YOU smoking? lol
*
You don't think so? structurally it's magnificent.
Don't think I'd want a hug from him though.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 5:15pm.
That mans body is a thing of beauty.
....what the fuck YOU smoking? lol
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puppy side eye.
stoners of the world should unite and form their own investigation to find the twatty who sold the pictures of Phelpsie blowing a bong to The News of the World. That traitor must pay! Punishment: a lifetime without the green. That's basically a lifetime of sadness.
You know, I cant say I wouldnt do the same. If he was a douchebag asshole in person, I totally would sell those pictures. If he wasnt the arrogant asshole I somehow imagine him to be, I would let him be.
That mans body is a thing of beauty.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A false eyelash should be like a secret abortion: discrete, so as not to attract Christian rage. - Ziggy S
>>stoners of the world should unite and form their own investigation to find the twatty who sold the pictures of Phelpsie blowing a bong to The News of the World. That traitor must pay! Punishment: a lifetime without the green. That's basically a lifetime of sadness.
AGREED! thats what happens in real life. you get cut off from the good shit.
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backseat.tumblr.com
We seriously need to find the person who sold the pic because I want to practice the fine art of bitch slapping all over his/her face.
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Don't let anyone tell you you're not humpable,
Because you're bumpable. Well I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable
Ah, nevermind, she misspoke. I looked at the link and it wasn't the person that took the pic. It was the dude who owned the bong.
Submitted by KD on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 5:07pm.
Stoney said what website you can see a pic of the narc on. I forget what thread that was.
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Ha! I wanna give it a speech bubble that says I NARC'D ON MICHAEL PHELPS.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"You blew it, Jack! And now you will never see the crazy underwears I have on!" "What kind of God would let that happen?" Salma and Alec: 30 Rock
Stoney said what website you can see a pic of the narc on. I forget what thread that was.
get the narc! post that fukker's photo across the entire interweb. it'll be the last party that ratbastard gets invited to
.
Submitted by WipeOutPutOutGetOut on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:53pm.
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I was just going to say background dude for HSOTD.
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Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
I can't believe it is even legal to prosecute someone based on a flipping PICTURE...I mean, hasn't Sheriff Leon Lott (nice name, BTW) ever heard of Photoshop?
I hope Sheriff Lott enjoyed his 15 minutes of fame.
I just like the asian guy in the background giving him the "Bitch, please" look...
NitWitty on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 4:29pm.
LMFAO!! Clever! The fact that it's the Bible belt makes that snark all the sweeter.
*still laughing*
Wow, today has been real boring as far as celebrity gossip, hasn't it?
*runs off to apply for more jobs*
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!