This Is Going To Be Painful
Well, here's yet another reason for me to find a way to program my TV to only show original shows from the 80s and 90s, because 2009 is bringing us more grade A SHIT. I guess I shouldn't be fucking shocked and appalled that The CW is actually going through with the Melrose Place remake. I was hoping that after they sobered up, they realized the mistake they were making. No.
Michael Ausiello at EW got a hold of the casting breakdown and looking at my ass wipe marks on a piece of toilet paper is more enjoyable than reading about these boiled broccoli characters. Judge Judy for yourself:
The new Jake and Amanda are... David Patterson and Ella Flynn. He's Melrose royalty, the now-grown son of the original Jake, with the taut abs and thick black book to prove it. She's his omnisexual sometime lover, a PR whiz whose tongue is as sharp as her stilettos.The new Billy and Allison are... Jonah Miller and Riley Richmond. He's a Kevin Smith wannabe whose obsession with his movies is unlikely to give him a happy ending with his sickly-sweet schoolteacher fiancee -- especially when she takes a shine to the glamorous life he loathes.
The new Matt is... Auggie Kirkpatrick. A hunky hippie, this recovering alcoholic is willing to give everybody the benefit of the doubt. No word on whether the word sucker will be tattooed on Debbie Downer's forehead, but come on…
The new Jane is... Lauren Bishop. Sort of an anti-Michael, this straight-arrow med student falls on such hard times that she's forced to pull a Sydney and trade sexual favors for financial ones.
The new Sydney is... Violet Foster. Though she's fresh off the turnip truck, this small-town teen already has a worldly-wise m.o.: play the sex kitten till you're ready to bare your claws.
Gross, right? We all could come up with better characters during just one Happy Hour and that's the truth. If Sydney came back from the dead and strolled into Melrose Place with Amanda Woodward on one arm and Kimberly Shaw on the other, this fuckery might have a chance.
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What the hell are these people wearing?!!!
Why doesn't Hollywood just go ahead and issue an official statement that they've run out of ideas because it's reeeally obvious. I swear on my Jordan Catalano lunch box that if they remake MSCL or Freaks n Geeks I'm done with tv.
~~Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet~~
you could not pay me to watch this shit.
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The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess
I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head
-Pearl Jam "Corduroy"
Those character bios all sound like they should have ended... "with sexy results!"
Who are these ugly bitches?
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Nooooooo............
Not Melrose.....Nooooooooooo
I feel sorry for the kiddos...they have recycled television.
I guess the stations have gone cheap as fuck, reality TV and recycled dramas...where the fuck are the writers? Where is the next Aaron Spelling?
Wasn't Heather Locklear's real life current dude on that show, too? It's all starting to come back, LOL.
How original!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
I actually need a link to how Kate looked when she was knocked up with her six kids (where she shows her actual belly - dur on my part). That'll cheer me up to the max!
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
"I'm a rapper. That's just what I do, Katie." - Lil' Wayne on smoking weed.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:31pm.
ITA. I get what I need here on DL. Plus "in this economy" I can't afford cable anyway.
Glad I got hulu and Michael K. Plus the ever-uplifting Youtube.
:-)
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you may have to mail your rocket science degree back to that special college.
Submitted by krazykelly on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:34pm.
Rojo as a catholic priest??? That's all I need to hear. I am there.
*grabs car keys and busts out for the theatre*
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you may have to mail your rocket science degree back to that special college.
can't some dead things just stay dead...
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we've all had our fair share of cock...it's nothing to shout about...
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:24pm.
Blah, blah, blah.
Why can't Rojo Caliente show up in one of these shows?
Glad I cancelled my cable. ain't missing a thing.
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Rojo Caliente plays a catholic priest in the new clint eastwood movie "Gran Torino". Go see it. I swear it looks just Rojo.
CLICK ON THE LINK!!!!! Rate the video "Under a Brick", the highest rating possible.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/grill-it-with-bobby-flay-most-recent/package/...
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:24pm.
Glad I cancelled my cable. ain't missing a thing.
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I have to say: I've just had another brush with cable recently. Damn that shit sucks ass! It's SO frustrating. There's always yelling at you to buy stuff! Just when you're getting to the good parts. And that's important because - well, remember there were "14 channels of shit on the TV" Now there's, like a THOUSAND! It takes forever to find something that you actually wanna look at - and as soon as you do - the yelling starts again! UGH! It's awful.
I prefer to be patient and pick and choose my shows as they come available here. I also find I don't get attached like I used to. I don't care if I miss an epi or half a season...I'm happy when I find it and it's fun to watch (no yelling).
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Submitted by krazykelly on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:22pm
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Trust me, now when you watch it you're gonna feel like you've been jipped! I like the show but whenever I see it I start ripping it apart. The same plot and storylines. It's sad. Sometimes I even scream , "this is bullshit!!" LOL. It's basically Ross explaining to his kids how he met Rachel!!!!!
Blah, blah, blah.
Why can't Rojo Caliente show up in one of these shows?
Glad I cancelled my cable. ain't missing a thing.
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you may have to mail your rocket science degree back to that special college.
Now I remember; the black girl is Vanessa Williams. Noooo, not that one; the other one. She had the registered the name first with the actor's guild so Miss USA had to put an L. in her name.
Anywhoo, she was one for a hot minute. Then *POOF!*
Try the Cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
Submitted by K2 on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:11pm.
One night I was watching "How I Met Your Mother" and it hit me that it was the same thing as "Friends".
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I never realized that until you mentoned it just now. It IS the same as friends.
CLICK ON THE LINK!!!!! Rate the video "Under a Brick", the highest rating possible.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/grill-it-with-bobby-flay-most-recent/package/...
@GIG:
Ha! And Kate plus 8 is The Brady Bunch;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
*Yawn* Lame.
So when they gonna remake "The Brady Bunch" and "Gilligan's Island"?
Oh, wait. "Lost" is "Gilligan's Island", but with scary monsters, scary people and two seasons too long.
Talk about stoners. This is one of those shows you're going to have to Phelps your way through.
Submitted by krazykelly on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:08pm.
Who is that black girl? I dont remember there being any black people on Melrose Place.
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If I recall it was Rhonda. I thinks she was only in season 1
Submitted by krazykelly on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 3:08pm.
Who is that black girl? I dont remember there being any black people on Melrose Place.
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Yeah, man. I remember her but I don't think she lasted long. One black girl...weird demographics, I'm sure.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Are people grasping or what? Goes to show that the 90's was the place to be! Glad I experienced all this shit already. Can't they come up with something more creative other than slapping a PART II to Melrose and 90210? I'm tired of all this recycled shit but I'm not sure if it's any worse than these reality shows!
One night I was watching "How I Met Your Mother" and it hit me that it was the same thing as "Friends". I think it's even the same writer. Instead it's 5 friends hanging out in a bar this time - day after day, night after night, constant drinks in hand (nothing like condoning heavy drinking) discussing their love lives, sex lives, careers... 2 of the friends hook up , 2 are already hooked up and one is a single stud (aka the joey of the group). It's pathetic that these writers can't come up with an original thought. FUCKERY is the only word that actually comes to mind to describe it!
Who is that black girl? I dont remember there being any black people on Melrose Place.
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CLICK ON THE LINK!!!!! Rate the video "Under a Brick", the highest rating possible.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/grill-it-with-bobby-flay-most-recent/package/...
MP without Lady Locklear is like Mac without Cheese. Why bother?
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
If they can bring back all this crap, why can't we have the high top tennies and slouchy socks back... I loved my slouchy socks and they look like caca in a pair of Keds!
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
are they going to do some naked-ass rolling? if not, yawn.
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i haven't committed a crime. what i did was fail to comply with the law.
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Submitted by Mel on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 2:22pm.
Kate Gosselin got a free tummy tuck cuz the wife of a plastic surgeon was a fan of "Jon and Kate Plus 8."
HAVE SOME DUMBASS WATER. - Charles Manson!
Happy to help, cheetahstripes! :D
Don't bother with most of Season 1 though, start from episode 15 when Jo first moves in (as it sort of serves as 2nd pilot episode anyway).
RichBitch: I had forgotten all that, now I'm heading over to Netflix so I can relive all that damn fine drama!
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 2:20pm.
Ugh. WHY do our clothes always look so fucked up 10 (20?) years later? WHY?!?
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I was just thinking the same couple of days ago. Are we just so completely brainwashed by what the fashion industry claims is "in" and "out" at the momment...?
Why is there a need for a redo of this? The original series is on dvd and there's no way the redux will do it justice. How can they top Alison being drunk and blind, being stalked by Keith and him blowing his brains out over the phone; Kimberly blowing up the building and her fucking amazing head scar and stealing Jo's baby; Brooke being a butter wouldn't melt slut; Amanda being the greatest bitch in tv history, fuck she even made a guy hang himself over her desk! Sydney being a hooker, getting into a cult, wearing Jane's wedding dress and bedding her husband!
I could go on and on! Fucking awesome show that no remake is gonna be able to match. Fuck this shit!
WOW!
Kate Gosselin sure has gotten ALOT of plastic surgery since then.
Sandbitch,
Where did they find that clip of me in American History class...In fact, I had the same looks on my face all the way thru college!
LOLOLOLOL!
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
Why are they bringing back all these old shows? Things must be getting pretty damn bland in H-wood.
Melrose Place is the OG i can watch reruns over and over season 5 out tuesday !! I LOVE YOU MICHaEL K!
Ugh. WHY do our clothes always look so fucked up 10 (20?) years later? WHY?!?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Ugh, this is depressing, depressing news.
You know what cheers me up when I'm in this slump? Looking at how disgusting Kate Gosling looked when she was knocked up: http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/cm/goodhousekeeping/images/kate-pregnant...
Much better.
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
"I'm a rapper. That's just what I do, Katie." - Lil' Wayne
Submitted by DebFrmHell on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 2:02pm.
**stifling a HUGE yawn**
Next...
---Deb! scroll down to see your pussy! LOL
http://www.cutethingsfallingasleep.org/search?updated-max=2009-01-15T00%...
I never watched Melrose Place and I definitly won't be wacthing this foolishness either. Damn, Hollywood is becoming more HollyHood everyday.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
**stifling a HUGE yawn**
Next...
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Desire chip from AA...................01/17/08
I never watched either of these shows!
There, I said it!!
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
This is some straight up bull. Let me guess this is for the teen crowd? So it'll really suck.
I know I won't be watching this sht. I think I'll just watch reruns on Soap.
So who's going to be the token sassy black to play second fiddle while the milky people sleep with each other.
Submitted by Am on Sat, 02/07/2009 - 1:43pm.
Only 1 token? Is this more, less or the same the original version had?
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That's the original cast and if I remember correctly they very quickly had her "move out of the complex". Just after a few episodes I think...
I don't get the nostalgia about BH 90210. Sure I watched that show intermittently like every other girl my age but come on, it was shit! MP was far less nauseating though and could be fairly entertaining...
The old BH was crap and the new show is most likely also crap and that's just very fitting and apparently what the public wants given that really good shows for teenagers like My So-called Life and Freaks and Geeks always get cancelled after a short period.
Only 1 token? Is this more, less or the same the original version had?
Try the Cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
i never watched those shows and i still think this is a bad idea
I didn't watch this shit the first time around!