Threesome In A Publix Parking Lot
When I go to the grocery story, the sexiest thing I might see is a cross-eyed memaw "inspecting" a zucchini. I never see shit like the hot sex show that went down in the parking lot of a Publix grocery store in Cape Coral, FL.
Prudish bitches were shocked to see 51-year-old George Bartusek having a three-way sexy time session with two hot sluts. Well, I'm assuming they were hot since plastic usually gets kind of warm when you rub against it. Yeah, George was getting all horny with two blowup dolls. Hey, George was probably taught to always use a rubber!!!
One witness told NBC2 News, "As I walk by I saw this guy with two blowup dolls - kissing them and bouncing them and trying to get people's attention."
Dear witness, that is what romance looks like. Don't hate on the love between a man and his beloved pool floaties. Love is blind.....and rubbery....and batshit crazy.
When the cops arrived, George told them he was visiting the shopping center to buy some clothes for his "girlfriends." These things happens to people in love. George was trying to do everyday things, but he just can't keep his shriveled peen out of his girlfriends' DuPont-approved snatches. Especially when their rubber-coochies are just laying out there, wide open. SLUTS!
George was arrested for breach of peace and is currently being held on $6,500 bail. George shouldn't trust his girlfriends. Those bitches will fucking talk. They can't keep their huge mouths shut. Ever!
And the witness I quoted above is at the 0:23 mark in the video. That ho should understand the love between a bitch and an inanimate object. It's obvious that she's madly in love with her meth pipe. That being said, I want to do Jager shots off her body in a Publix parking lot. Bitch is the epitome of HOT.
Thanks Ron & Rob
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Submitted by Zappy on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 8:20pm.
Dang, ho. I hope ya'll use Clorox wipes on that mess.
That's hardcore to share a sex doll with yore granny.
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Don't let the door hit you in your rat face-- MK
Submitted by AmberWaves on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 8:15pm.
Blow up dolls are overrated. They never swallow.
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The male blow up dolls are just like husbands. The bastards just won't talk!
On my yearly cousins and aunts weekend, one of my aunts (who turned 70)received a blow up male doll..his name is Penis Pete. Each year a new person gets to bring him home until his unveiling the next year. I was the lucky wiener this year!
Yay Penis Pete!
At least he bought them dinner first, Reeses, what cheap dates.
Blow up dolls are overrated. They never swallow.
cheap SOB, couldn't find a Motel 6??
I hope he was buying them dinner too! :)
;\=__=/o
http://ihateliz.com/?id=bue432lxmsqjfd7l0ar7ge7retatg0
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:21pm.
Hahahaha, joe! That did happen to me when I lived in Miami. Me, being the naive Canuck at the time, just stood there trying to process it all. It finally dawned on me and I said, "You should be ashamed of yourself!!" I'm sure he was very contrite
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HHAHAHAHAHAHA....I stood there and had a good gander, which ironically made him uncomfortable. He wanted shrieks of horror; I was mildly interested and then bored. Which raises an interesting point (excuse the pun). How come public wankers, a)don't have big dicks? and b)are not good looking, smart and charismatic? It would certainly go a long way to making parking lot masturbation more of a really enjoyable spectator sport. (and less of a "quick! call 911" sport)
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"Nottingham have now lost six matches in a row without winning." (Coleman)
Those Dolls were whores! They were the ones who wanted it, and now poor George has been hauled off to jail because of there fuckery!
Hey, Skybitch!
ONT:George was trying to do everyday things, but he just can't keep his shriveled peen out of his girlfriends' DuPont-approved snatches. Especially when their rubber-coochies are just laying out there, wide open. SLUTS!
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It was their fault he JIZZED. in his. PANTS!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Submitted by SkyBitch on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 8:00pm.
I nominate this bitch for Hot Slut!
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Hello SkyBitch! : )
I nominate this bitch for Hot Slut!
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
LMAO @ "When I go to the grocery story, the sexiest thing I might see is a cross-eyed memaw "inspecting" a zucchini"
funny-ass post
This is hysterical! The guy has a thing for blow-up dolls and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups; the one in the front seat is much better looking than the skank in the back!
Freak
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
"What kind of warped mind..."
would WISH these bitches had whipped out their camera phones!?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Well, you know - I heard it through the Grapevine:)
That's not what this is. Every time a decent person comes in you set out to prove they have brain damage. House MD
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:53pm.
Hey Zappy! Consider it a publix service message! Ba-DUM!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
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LMAO!
I had never heard of Publix before this article.
I went to their website. Their motto is "Where shopping is a pleasure." *snicker, snicker*
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Hey Zappy! Consider it a publix service message! Ba-DUM!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Lux, nice avie with the side-eye flavor.
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"us"
I was just about to forward this along but Ron and Rob beat me to it. And this is just another day where I live...
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Blessed are the Crack'd, for they shall let in the Light.
LMAO @ Deb. Thanks for the tip!
Sex in cars parked in lots is fyah, xtra kick if you're hallucinating and you can see another couple a few feet away and the girl is giving the guy a mean bj.
I been told.
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"us"
I love publix, too. Just don't get drunk and try to run, jump up, and ride one of those orange carts in the parking lot after a heavy rain. Trust me on this.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Fucking awesome. This story made my day.
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Making Al Pastor Burritos for M.E.
P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:33pm.
Are you speaking from personal experience?
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Hey whatever, doesnt bother me any, but he should of went to a more discreet parking lot. Publix name is a red flag alone.
Ya'll know I'm cool, but I just don't get the point of the plastic, when dude could take the money he would have spent on those perverted balloon friends, and gotten a quickie from a drunk wildebeeste at a biker bar.
????
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Don't let the door hit you in your rat face-- MK
Whats more disturbing to these idiotic people that he's kissing a sex doll in public or that god forbid some people need more than just a plain old penis or vag to get off?
THERE AINT NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING GODDAMN FUCKING DISTURBING ABOUT THIS. FUCKING DRIED UP PRUDES. THE MAN SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TAKEN ONE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING DOLLS IN WITH HIM AND FUCKED IT IN THE GODDAMN BAKERY OR DAIRY SECTION GODDAMN. A MANS GOT TO FUCKING GET IT ON.
Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:25pm.
yes it would! just wait. let's see which sitcom this shows up on . .
;D
.
Wonder what he uses the blue bungee cord hanging from his mirror for?
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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I love how they say he was "inappropriately" touching the dolls. Because what exactly would be considered "appropriate" touching?
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:26pm.
must not have been any real crime in Florida today
Latarrian must be on lockdown!
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LMMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
"George shouldn't trust his girlfriends. Those bitches will fucking talk. They can't keep their huge mouths shut. Ever!"
Next season on Bravo: The Real Inflatable Dolls of Cape Coral.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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I guess he and his "girlfriends" had a big blow up earlier in the day.
Poor blow up doll.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:03pm.
Why does this shit happen in Florida?
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It does seem like Fla. has a lot of jacked up shit going on (no offense to any natives!)
on Adam Corolla they have a game "Germany vs. Florida" in which they read off fucked up news pieces like this one and try to guess where it took place.
When Vadge says, "Mirror mirror on the wall...Who's the-", the mirror cuts her off and says, "Bitch, don't embarrass yourself."
must not have been any real crime in Florida today
Latarrian must be on lockdown!
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puppy side eye.
hysteria, this just made my day. It's something Al Bundy would totally do, the episode would have been comedy GOLD, no joke!
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde
Hahahaha, joe! That did happen to me when I lived in Miami. Me, being the naive Canuck at the time, just stood there trying to process it all. It finally dawned on me and I said, "You should be ashamed of yourself!!" I'm sure he was very contrite.
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Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:09pm.
I remember when I was in art school in 1980, my friend and I went to a Doc Johnson's store in Pittsburgh and bought a blow up doll just for fun. I gave it to a guy I worked with and he said the holes were too small.
I KNEW THIS FUCKING DUDE ONCE WHO HAD A FUCKING ROLLS ROYCE IN HIS FUCKING GARAGE WITH A BLOW UP FUCKING DOLL IN THE FRONT SEAT. HE ALSO HAD SOME FUCKING CHICK CHAINED TO HIS BANISTER. MY GODDAMN FUCKING VISIT WAS SHORT. MADE MY FUCKING EXCUSES AND LEFT.
Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:16pm.
God bless Florida.
One thing I never understood about those cheap blowup dolls - why is the va-jay-jay in the front, instead of between the legs???
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So he can be 'on top' of it instead of walking with it sticking up off his poindexter prolly.
He probably thought he was having a three-way with Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes.
Pizza- I love Lords of Acid. I love acid! ; )
If I am going to do f' ed up shit, I am damn well going to be in a decent parking lot if I get caught, like at Neiman's or Saks 5th. Ave.
Well I say better good clean fun with two naked rubber dolls, then for example calling you over to his car in broad daylight, so that you can get a bird's view of him ummmm...... *relieving the pressure*.
Not that that ever happened to me.
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"Nottingham have now lost six matches in a row without winning." (Coleman)
God bless Florida.
One thing I never understood about those cheap blowup dolls - why is the va-jay-jay in the front, instead of between the legs???
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"I'll fuckin' kick your fuckin' ass!"
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:03pm.
Why does this shit happen in Florida?
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Florida or Germany!
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Pluto had it coming.
Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 7:12pm.
the best part is he is the spitting image of Al Bundy on Married with Children.
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that's it!
;D
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God, I love wackos.
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appears to be a fairly nice car. he can't make bail on $6,500? that is weak
he looks like an elder Jethro
.