Jessica Simpson Is A Size 2 (Or 8)
Asshole Simpson was probably crying in her daddy's lap (and he loooves it), because everyone forgot she existed. Even her baby's name is more famous than she is.
So when some bitches started calling Jessica a fat fuck cow who uses the jelly in donuts to brush her teeth and smothers her face in cake frosting before bedtime so that if she wakes up in the middle of the night there's a delicious surprise waiting for her, Asshole found an opportunity to get a little attention. The poster child for famewhoring wrote this on her blog:
I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it. How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?
Now can we focus on the things that really matter.
Somewhere in the world, Ashlee's old nose is thinking, "Bitch, shut up."
Asshole should really consult with Jessica before she pulls a JLove and starts throwing around the "size 2" shit. Jessica responded to the "You so fat that you start beeping when you back up" jokes to OK!, "Going from a size 2 to a size 8, that's not fat. If I weren't Jessica Simpson, no one would care."
In Asshole's defense, she can only count up to 2.
And what does the president have to do with Jessica's fopa? I'm going to start using that excuse when the creditors call, "I'm disgusted that you are calling me about being ten payments behind. It's only been a week since the inauguration. Let's focus on the things that really matter!"
P.S. - You can go back to forgetting that fucktard named Ashlee Simpson. Delete and reboot.
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Submitted by DUDE on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:32pm.
She must think every meal is an eating contest with Tony?
The only thing Tony HOMO eats is cock, the cock of young vietnamese boys
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
why is anyone even talking about her weight..how about the fact that shes famous for being a singer when the bitch CANT SING!
Did she fire the Paves cause her hair looks like shit.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
The only size this bitch needs to worry about is the size of her cunt after im none ravaging her innards with my man-ram!!
"You like that daisy duke? SPIT ON MY COCK! SAY GO GIANTS YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
She must think every meal is an eating contest with Tony?
That is some fatback bacon right there.
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:28pm.
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?
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"You're getting a little chubby" ??? Hell, yeah!
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Exactly, I have and will again! The coddling and being polite "think it,but don't say it!" is what made us such a fatass country anyway.
Off topic:
http://www.kontraband.co.uk/pics/15677/Her-Cute-Little-Doggy/?gpage=12#s...
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I never stay on topic :)
Jessica has more curves than talent and brains put together.
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Still fuckin snowing.
Quite frankly, I still think her bod is hot. But she has NEVER been able to dress it so who gives a fuck?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
Her body is a lot like mine. Short and a little on the stocky side. My weight has to really be low for me to look "skinny". Even 10 lbs shows up big time on the arms and face. I don't think she is fat or overweight at all. It's just her body type.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
Is Jessica a fat cow? No, has she chunked up since last summer? Yes. Does she carry extra weight well, no.
What pisses me off is, that she is clearly heavier and defenitly NOT a size two, a size fucking two would be close to Nicole Ritchie. Jessica is clearly around an 8.
oh my god I was JUST reading this on another blog and I noticed the same damn thing!
Asshole Simpson is possibly the more retarded of the two sisters.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?
*******************************
"You're getting a little chubby" ??? Hell, yeah!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
Crack open those ham hocks and just take the cock bitch!
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:24pm.
She was singing at a chilli cook off. Her career is done. Oh yeah, she's not fat just wearing clothes that are too tight for her. And who gives a fat one really?
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I bet that Cowboy she's dating might, just a little. Women sometimes (and men) tend to get too comfy, too quickly, in relationships.
"Why is this being discussed on a wannabe news channel anyway?"
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Heh, you just answered your own question. It's Fox!
FWIW, I have a kind of thing for brown-eyed blonde chicks and have always thought Jessica was pretty (shoot me!) and she's not horribly fat or anything, but DAMN it annoys me when bitches lie so obviously about their size. Like when women try to shave a decade or more off their age, as if we're so blind/dumb we can't see for ourselves. It's insulting to my gigantic fucking intellect, you know. ;)
Submitted by Charles Manson on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:23pm.
That's it! I had my dose of CM and can go on with my day....happy
STFU, Bitch. You were just waiting for them to talk about her weight so you could get all up in this blogging shit AND take a pot shot at your sister cuz we all know that you're not the one who was born to be pudgy. Yeesh!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
The only thing wrong with that picture are the jeans. Not the style but that she's wearing pants.
Show that nice round tappable bootay.
Jess has matured into a woman. Hooter's can keep the little girls.
wtf, jessica looks 1 billion times better now! Would you rather be ugly and skinny and cute and average size?
She had total manface when she was a twig. SHe actually looks pretty now.
theres no way in mother fucking hell that bitch is a size 2. Not that theres anything wrong with whatever size she is but when they lie about it makes them seem like even bigger douches.
mark my words, jess is now going on the crack diet..2 months from now shes gonna come out looking anorexic.
how about they not read all the bs thats written and just live their stupid shallow lives.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:23pm.
Only two "FUCKING"s per paragraph now? Sour economy?
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You go from straight player to fag within the span of one sentence.
Conclusive evidence finally that there is no god. If there was, out of his concern for human kind he would may the entire simpson family go away!
She was singing at a chilli cook off. Her career is done. Oh yeah, she's not fat just wearing clothes that are too tight for her. And who gives a fat one really?
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
I actually said a similar thing yesterday (gag) when I saw the 3 horseman in the morning discussing this on Fox News. Why is this being discussed on a wannabe news channel anyway? The vaginia exploiting pants are alright for Dlisted or E! or some other such forum, but not so much for the "news" channels that are supposed to be discussing real live "news".
The real question is why was I watching Fox news in the first place?
Her clothes might be a size 2, but her body is not. I think she looks alright. But she needs to lose the leopard skin waist cincher.
Submitted by watch me boogie on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:21pm.
And it does suck to have your body picked apart by the public.
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The solution to that is to JUST STOP. Stop "acting", caterwauling and whatever else she gets paid to do. Instead of moaning about how mean everybody is.
Asslee had to respond because Jess was too busy eating ice cream. :)
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
And...Salem13 is exactly right - high waisted pants are a tragedy on anyone.
SHE LOOKS FUCKING FINE TO ME. HER WEIGHT LOOKS LIKE IT IS RIGHT WHERE IS SHOULD BE. VERY FEW OF THOSE BITCHES OUT THERE ARE NATURALLY STICK THIN. ALMOST ALL WOMEN HAVE SOME BIRTHING FLESH AROUND THEIR FUCKING HIPS AND UPPER TORSO AND DUMBASS ARMS.
Also, I'm a size 6 (in "normal people clothes," not bullshit-sized clothes) and am both shorter and thinner than Jessica in these photos, so whatevah.
She's a cannibal's wet dream.
the DUDE! abides...
I wouldn't call her fat, but there is NO way she's a size 2. I'd guess an 8 or 10.
if jessica simpson is any bigger than a size four in this picture, then i need to go to the doctor for obesity problems...i mean seriously, she looks way better than these skinny b&*#%es out here with no tits or ass who look like little boys! gimme a damn break...is she talented? NO, but is she FAT? HELL NO!
Jessica is not fat. Just porky...lol
All jokes aside, I think she looks healthy. She's just fug
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:20pm.
Submitted by Miss Priss on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:19pm.
And Jessucka is NOT a size 2. Maybe a 6, or an 8 but not a 2. These people piss me off.
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But you're a size 2 if you write it on all your clothing labels, right? Papa Joe said so!
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In crayon.
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"Suave! Goddamn you're one suave fucker!"
Size 2? Uh huh and that outfit was attractive.
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
I am getting really sick of every fatass celebrity insisting they're a "size 2." They all do it in some fashion - I worked with a size 8 actress who insisted she was a 4. The wardrobe mistress had to take the labels out of all the clothes for the shoot so that the actress didn't throw a huge fit.
To be fair, early in her career Jessica's managers put her through hell to get her skinny & toned in the first place - that's not natural for her. And it does suck to have your body picked apart by the public. But lying about being a size 2 isn't the answer.
Submitted by Miss Priss on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:19pm.
And Jessucka is NOT a size 2. Maybe a 6, or an 8 but not a 2. These people piss me off.
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But you're a size 2 if you write it on all your clothing labels, right? Papa Joe said so!
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
It's not so much that she gained weight, which seriously I don't care about, it's that ridiculous outfit. Which I hasten to add makes her look even fatter than she is.
If my grandmother got as fat as Jessica, we'd put her on an ice flow.
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You go from straight player to fag within the span of one sentence.
I would pork it till my dick fell off. Cute, plus i like meat on the bones!
Ok. Scream at me!
Anyone calls her fat are jellyheadz, WHATEVER!!!!
yea i dont think she's fat, she just dont know how to dress for her body type. she looks better than some twats out here
but all seriousness, i doubt her ass is a size 2, c'mon what is this? jennifer love hewitt 2.0
And Jessucka is NOT a size 2. Maybe a 6, or an 8 but not a 2. These people piss me off.
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
iHeart - LOL - Seriously though, do they really think we beleive that shit?
I'm sorry, but to include the inauguration and Jessica Simpson in the same sentence is just plain wrong.
I'd like to kick them both in the box.
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"Suave! Goddamn you're one suave fucker!"
"uses the jelly in doughnuts to brush her teeth" is the funniest shit I've read in awhile! I find it hilarious that Asslee, queen of altering her own appearance (and lip-syncher), is the one telling girls to feel good about how they look. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle fat?
LMMFAO M.E.~ 5T Bwahahaha!!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
"How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?"
Oh SHUT UP Asshole! How can we expect teenage girls to respect themselves when ASSHOLES like Asshole Simpson get nosejobs and marry douchenozzles? Fuck off cunt
I hate both these untalented bitches. Go away!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Oh FFS. When you put on some poundage ppl are going to comment, no matter how shitty it is. Fat hatred is still acceptable. If it bothers you that much then fling shit right back at the person who hurt your feelings. I'm packng on the winter pounds and my asshole sister felt the need to tell me about it. I told her she was still the fat sister. She shut her ass up right quick. Problem solved!
P.S. Jessica IS getting chunky. It is what it is.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
I was up to a size 6 a couple years ago and I'd never felt fatter in my entire life.